FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Strengthened or damaged marriage ?
Strengthened or damaged marriage ?
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Hi, so we are fairly new to this, and so far so Fab...We love going through prospective hook ups in the evenings, where as I.. the Mrs am dealing with the account. We had a great first party experience & it was so erotic watching my husband with other women & he loved seeing me getting taken care of..which we reminisce on since. So there are deffo pro's to this lifestyle. What are pro's & cons that we should watch out for?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always remember where your priorities lie and you won't go far wrong.
Watch out for drama (always seems to follow a certain few), professional victims, and gossips (those who talk to you about others will do the same to you behind your back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Communicate clearly with each other always, not just about what you liked, but also anything that troubles you. Small secrets can grow into big issues. If one of you is unhappy with something or someone, it should always be something you can discuss together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The biggest pro from our perspective is that exposing your vulnerabilities without fear brings your relationship to a whole new level of emotional intimacy
Or breaks it..... |
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Agreed, talking about the good and the bad together is major, what happens between the four walls happens, then you get on with your vanilla life. Don't let things fester if unhappy talk and sort it out, final thing there are always people wanting you to do what they want, if it doesn't suit you, don't oblige..happy fabbing |
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"The biggest pro from our perspective is that exposing your vulnerabilities without fear brings your relationship to a whole new level of emotional intimacy
Or breaks it....."
Ya, we are finding this already. & thankfully in a good way. Thank you  |
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"Always remember where your priorities lie and you won't go far wrong.
Watch out for drama (always seems to follow a certain few), professional victims, and gossips (those who talk to you about others will do the same to you behind your back."
true for life too.... thank youxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have open and clear communication at all times. Talk about everything, Even if its something small thats niggling at you then just say it. Listen to each other.Once you can talk about anything then your path is a lot clearer and you grow in strength together. |
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"Agreed, talking about the good and the bad together is major, what happens between the four walls happens, then you get on with your vanilla life. Don't let things fester if unhappy talk and sort it out, final thing there are always people wanting you to do what they want, if it doesn't suit you, don't oblige..happy fabbing"
Ya 100% their fantasies are a them problem.. ours is an us priority  |
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"Irrational jealousy is important, it happens. We are human after all but realizing it is they key.
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I find it's important to pick apart & figure out why you feel jealous (When you inevitably will). It's usually less about your partner's behaviour & more about an unidentified need you have yourself |
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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago
Youghal |
"Have as few rules as possible.
Talk, talk and talk.
"
Yep. We started out with rules but quickly realised it wasn't workable so now we just talk and ensure we're both comfortable with what ever scenario presents itself. |
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By *m158Couple
over a year ago
Cork |
More than strengthened our relationship - together since the teens so thankfully have that open relationship going on. Made the take it for the team mistake in the early days so pretty switched on now. It has added great spice to the naughty side |
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"Have as few rules as possible.
Talk, talk and talk.
"
Totally agree. We started with rules that weren't important and then I (male) felt bad if a rule was broken.... For example, we had silly problems like me being fine with her meeting another guy for sex, but finding it hard when I was awaiting a text at an agreed time that was late. So what was meant to help was actually causing problems.
So only agree your absolute drop dead limits and outside of that be as flexible as you can be.
Also acknowledge and communicate your emotions. They don't have to make sense to be real, but then try to understand what's causing them. If something doesn't feel right for either of you, just don't do it. There's plenty of types of fun to be had that you both will feel fine with! |
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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago
City Centre |
Communication is key and check in with each other especially at a party.
Never take one for the team.Do not lower your standards for anyone.
And yes mistakes and boundaries can be crossed on occasion so talk talk talk.
Best of luck OP xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven’t played but recently came clean to wife about my urges and bi/curious nature. Didn’t mean to if I was being honest but I had had a few drinks. It’s like a weight lifted of me and we are getting on super. This pang of utter discontentment has lifted off me. Doubt she will play but doesn’t bother me. I’m on this for chats and to release my sex thoughts. Thank you to those who chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have your ground rules.
Remember your priorities.
Remember too that a bad experience or meet doesn’t forever taint your marriage. A marriage is a long term project that evolves (again remember your priorities). The successful couples I have played with have been able to separate once off sex from their relationship. They see it almost as a sex toy - use it - put it back in the drawer.
Good luck with things  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a certain look type signal that means yes no or lets get out if here.. and always 2 social meets before.. We dont post any meets on here either as discreet suits us better.. Good luck OP.. talk talk and more talk.. then have fun.. |
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"Have as few rules as possible.
Talk, talk and talk.
Totally agree. We started with rules that weren't important and then I (male) felt bad if a rule was broken.... For example, we had silly problems like me being fine with her meeting another guy for sex, but finding it hard when I was awaiting a text at an agreed time that was late. So what was meant to help was actually causing problems.
So only agree your absolute drop dead limits and outside of that be as flexible as you can be.
Also acknowledge and communicate your emotions. They don't have to make sense to be real, but then try to understand what's causing them. If something doesn't feel right for either of you, just don't do it. There's plenty of types of fun to be had that you both will feel fine with!"
Brilliant advice.. thank you |
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"Communication is key and check in with each other especially at a party.
Never take one for the team.Do not lower your standards for anyone.
And yes mistakes and boundaries can be crossed on occasion so talk talk talk.
Best of luck OP xx"
Thanks & ya.. fuck the team.. thos is a JUST US game xx |
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"Haven’t played but recently came clean to wife about my urges and bi/curious nature. Didn’t mean to if I was being honest but I had had a few drinks. It’s like a weight lifted of me and we are getting on super. This pang of utter discontentment has lifted off me. Doubt she will play but doesn’t bother me. I’m on this for chats and to release my sex thoughts. Thank you to those who chat."
You never know.. she didn't know your thoughts, you might be surprised by hers.. I've been surprised by my own.. lol |
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"Have your ground rules.
Remember your priorities.
Remember too that a bad experience or meet doesn’t forever taint your marriage. A marriage is a long term project that evolves (again remember your priorities). The successful couples I have played with have been able to separate once off sex from their relationship. They see it almost as a sex toy - use it - put it back in the drawer.
Good luck with things "
Thanks for that xx |
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"We have a certain look type signal that means yes no or lets get out if here.. and always 2 social meets before.. We dont post any meets on here either as discreet suits us better.. Good luck OP.. talk talk and more talk.. then have fun.. "
Ya we have a safe words for "get me the fuck out of here" or "let's chat" lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While everything may be ok with you as a couple and the lifestyle there is always the possibility that all is not well with the couple you are possibly meeting. Other people's drama is best avoided, before it becomes your drama. It's always good to try to ensure you can see this in a social setting before you take it further.
L |
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Swinging will really highlight the little things you might be unhappy about.
If you're insecure about your body, or worried your partner isn't as attracted to you as they used to be - there is a risk they will come up and need to be talked about.
It isn't always easy, we can have experiences that we overall enjoyed, but still come away needed to talk about tiny moments where someone felt a little weird and we want to change our approach.
I think one thing it highlighted for me was that we really needed to have more sex as a couple. It's so easy to get caught up in the thrill and talk all the time about other people, my partner looked amazing and left our swinger friends very impressed. But it also left me thinking I would like to see more of that energy in OUR bedroom.  |
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Communication is key... Talk about everything good and bad 
