FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Face Pics in the Profile
Face Pics in the Profile
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
I've got face pics in my profile so I'm just wondering how women on here might view that, in terms of discretion. Obviously, it's not discreet as far as my own privacy is concerned, but I have thought about that and am OK with it for now.
If you see face pics in the profile, would it cause you to doubt the discretion of that member? |
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Nope,no face pics on our profile and we know it's a deal breaker for some but we don't exchange face pic's...badly burnt before and as they say you live and learn and let's be honest you won't truly know what a possible meet looks like until they are sitting across from you. |
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I'm the same with face pics to me it just shows I'm not hiding anything you would be mad to copy this face  but if people choose not to show their faces on their profile that's their business and is understandable especially with women and couples which is a pity that there are one too many but jobs about  |
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"I've got face pics in my profile so I'm just wondering how women on here might view that, in terms of discretion. Obviously, it's not discreet as far as my own privacy is concerned, but I have thought about that and am OK with it for now.
If you see face pics in the profile, would it cause you to doubt the discretion of that member?"
For me no, I would just assume that they are confident in being here, have nothing to hide, and are secure in and open about their sexuality generally - it's very appealing to me!
I definitely wouldn't presume it means they are indiscreet. |
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"I've got face pics in my profile so I'm just wondering how women on here might view that, in terms of discretion. Obviously, it's not discreet as far as my own privacy is concerned, but I have thought about that and am OK with it for now.
If you see face pics in the profile, would it cause you to doubt the discretion of that member?
For me no, I would just assume that they are confident in being here, have nothing to hide, and are secure in and open about their sexuality generally - it's very appealing to me!
I definitely wouldn't presume it means they are indiscreet. "
If it's OK to ask where do you stand on profile's with no face pics. |
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"I've got face pics in my profile so I'm just wondering how women on here might view that, in terms of discretion. Obviously, it's not discreet as far as my own privacy is concerned, but I have thought about that and am OK with it for now.
If you see face pics in the profile, would it cause you to doubt the discretion of that member?
For me no, I would just assume that they are confident in being here, have nothing to hide, and are secure in and open about their sexuality generally - it's very appealing to me!
I definitely wouldn't presume it means they are indiscreet. If it's OK to ask where do you stand on profile's with no face pics."
Equally don't mind, appreciate people wanting to be private! I don't have face pics on my profile but I'm happy to exchange face pics via DM. Personally I wouldn't meet someone who didn't want to share a face pic in advance though. |
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"I've got face pics in my profile so I'm just wondering how women on here might view that, in terms of discretion. Obviously, it's not discreet as far as my own privacy is concerned, but I have thought about that and am OK with it for now.
If you see face pics in the profile, would it cause you to doubt the discretion of that member?
For me no, I would just assume that they are confident in being here, have nothing to hide, and are secure in and open about their sexuality generally - it's very appealing to me!
I definitely wouldn't presume it means they are indiscreet. If it's OK to ask where do you stand on profile's with no face pics.
Equally don't mind, appreciate people wanting to be private! I don't have face pics on my profile but I'm happy to exchange face pics via DM. Personally I wouldn't meet someone who didn't want to share a face pic in advance though. "
That is understandable too  ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone having a face pic up wouldn't say they are indiscreet. I would base that determination on their demeanour, forum interaction and private chat rather than just going by a pic. "
This, 100% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't put face photos up due to the nature of my work. Neither will share a face pic because I've been advised not to by someone who has been on off this site for years who had a bad experience when she naively shared a photo with someone on here who appeared to be honest and trustworthy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've got face pics in my profile so I'm just wondering how women on here might view that, in terms of discretion. Obviously, it's not discreet as far as my own privacy is concerned, but I have thought about that and am OK with it for now.
If you see face pics in the profile, would it cause you to doubt the discretion of that member?"
Sorry, but I think that's nuts! Why would you show your face pic publically on Fab? It's got nothing to do with illustrating you've nothing to hide. Relatives and friends could easily find out through someone else, and its them you are protecting using some discretion. But each to their own! |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"If it's OK to ask where do you stand on profile's with no face pics."
It's not an issue bcos I understand the potential issues with sharing face pics - or at least, I think I do, having given it some consideration.
My first [verified] meet was with someone who didn't send a face pic. I liked what they had written in their profile, I liked the vibe we got when chatting, and the body pics were attractive. I actually never even thought to ask for one.
It's a bit of a dilemma, bcos I would like to see a face pic, but I don't like that awkward 'moment of judgement' just prior to when someone shares it. Maybe that goes after a while |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"
Sorry, but I think that's nuts! Why would you show your face pic publically on Fab? It's got nothing to do with illustrating you've nothing to hide. Relatives and friends could easily find out through someone else, and its them you are protecting using some discretion. But each to their own!"
I completely understand where you're coming from and that was something I considered, when deciding to post face pics. But, I really don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of by being on here and, by extension, there is nothing for my family and friends to be ashamed of.
Now, I know they might not see it like that but that is down to social conditioning and the fear of being judged by others, but I don't believe we should be ruled by those fears - as idealistic as it sounds.
Of course, this is all fine and well until something happens to make me change my mind, but for now I'm OK with it. |
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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago
City Centre |
"
Sorry, but I think that's nuts! Why would you show your face pic publically on Fab? It's got nothing to do with illustrating you've nothing to hide. Relatives and friends could easily find out through someone else, and its them you are protecting using some discretion. But each to their own!
I completely understand where you're coming from and that was something I considered, when deciding to post face pics. But, I really don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of by being on here and, by extension, there is nothing for my family and friends to be ashamed of.
Now, I know they might not see it like that but that is down to social conditioning and the fear of being judged by others, but I don't believe we should be ruled by those fears - as idealistic as it sounds.
Of course, this is all fine and well until something happens to make me change my mind, but for now I'm OK with it."
It's absolutely nothing to do with shame. Discretion is paramount in the scene. Trust is also super important.
If you are that open and free about posting your face lots of people may think that you may not be so discrete if they share face pics with you. Most people set their face pics to private.
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone with a face picture as their profile pic or in any play pics. I also wouldn't invite them to an event/social. I think you should probably think about that side of things OP.
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Sorry, but I think that's nuts! Why would you show your face pic publically on Fab? It's got nothing to do with illustrating you've nothing to hide. Relatives and friends could easily find out through someone else, and its them you are protecting using some discretion. But each to their own!
I completely understand where you're coming from and that was something I considered, when deciding to post face pics. But, I really don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of by being on here and, by extension, there is nothing for my family and friends to be ashamed of.
Now, I know they might not see it like that but that is down to social conditioning and the fear of being judged by others, but I don't believe we should be ruled by those fears - as idealistic as it sounds.
Of course, this is all fine and well until something happens to make me change my mind, but for now I'm OK with it.
It's absolutely nothing to do with shame. Discretion is paramount in the scene. Trust is also super important.
If you are that open and free about posting your face lots of people may think that you may not be so discrete if they share face pics with you. Most people set their face pics to private.
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone with a face picture as their profile pic or in any play pics. I also wouldn't invite them to an event/social. I think you should probably think about that side of things OP.
B "
Wise words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sorry, but I think that's nuts! Why would you show your face pic publically on Fab? It's got nothing to do with illustrating you've nothing to hide. Relatives and friends could easily find out through someone else, and its them you are protecting using some discretion. But each to their own!
I completely understand where you're coming from and that was something I considered, when deciding to post face pics. But, I really don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of by being on here and, by extension, there is nothing for my family and friends to be ashamed of.
Now, I know they might not see it like that but that is down to social conditioning and the fear of being judged by others, but I don't believe we should be ruled by those fears - as idealistic as it sounds.
Of course, this is all fine and well until something happens to make me change my mind, but for now I'm OK with it.
It's absolutely nothing to do with shame. Discretion is paramount in the scene. Trust is also super important.
If you are that open and free about posting your face lots of people may think that you may not be so discrete if they share face pics with you. Most people set their face pics to private.
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone with a face picture as their profile pic or in any play pics. I also wouldn't invite them to an event/social. I think you should probably think about that side of things OP.
B "
100%agree |
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"
Sorry, but I think that's nuts! Why would you show your face pic publically on Fab? It's got nothing to do with illustrating you've nothing to hide. Relatives and friends could easily find out through someone else, and its them you are protecting using some discretion. But each to their own!
I completely understand where you're coming from and that was something I considered, when deciding to post face pics. But, I really don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of by being on here and, by extension, there is nothing for my family and friends to be ashamed of.
Now, I know they might not see it like that but that is down to social conditioning and the fear of being judged by others, but I don't believe we should be ruled by those fears - as idealistic as it sounds.
Of course, this is all fine and well until something happens to make me change my mind, but for now I'm OK with it.
It's absolutely nothing to do with shame. Discretion is paramount in the scene. Trust is also super important.
If you are that open and free about posting your face lots of people may think that you may not be so discrete if they share face pics with you. Most people set their face pics to private.
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone with a face picture as their profile pic or in any play pics. I also wouldn't invite them to an event/social. I think you should probably think about that side of things OP.
B "
So because I choose to have my face pic on my profile and have a few in my gallery I can't be trusted  |
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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago
The bog |
"
Sorry, but I think that's nuts! Why would you show your face pic publically on Fab? It's got nothing to do with illustrating you've nothing to hide. Relatives and friends could easily find out through someone else, and its them you are protecting using some discretion. But each to their own!
I completely understand where you're coming from and that was something I considered, when deciding to post face pics. But, I really don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of by being on here and, by extension, there is nothing for my family and friends to be ashamed of.
Now, I know they might not see it like that but that is down to social conditioning and the fear of being judged by others, but I don't believe we should be ruled by those fears - as idealistic as it sounds.
Of course, this is all fine and well until something happens to make me change my mind, but for now I'm OK with it.
It's absolutely nothing to do with shame. Discretion is paramount in the scene. Trust is also super important.
If you are that open and free about posting your face lots of people may think that you may not be so discrete if they share face pics with you. Most people set their face pics to private.
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone with a face picture as their profile pic or in any play pics. I also wouldn't invite them to an event/social. I think you should probably think about that side of things OP.
B "
I guess I'm just Lucky enough to meet so many amazing People even tho I have face pics..and been to many amazing social.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just curious for those that have face pics up.
Has anyone, friends, family members or work colleagues ever said it to you? That they have seen or been told. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have face pic on private, have no issue sharing my face pic when chatting, I had shared a face pic and when I wouldn't share "nudes" he got nasty and threatened to share my pics with family and work colleagues.
Would not meet a person without seeing a face pic though. |
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"Just curious for those that have face pics up.
Has anyone, friends, family members or work colleagues ever said it to you? That they have seen or been told. "
Nope and even if they did I couldn't careless I'm not ashamed to be here it's my life in the end of the day |
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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago
The bog |
"Just curious for those that have face pics up.
Has anyone, friends, family members or work colleagues ever said it to you? That they have seen or been told. "
My family know already and so do half my work colleagues |
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"Just curious for those that have face pics up.
Has anyone, friends, family members or work colleagues ever said it to you? That they have seen or been told.
My family know already and so do half my work colleagues"
Did you tell them or did they just find out on their own
For me I'd just let everyone find out for themselves it won't exactly come up during the family dinner or at Christmas "lads I have one extra surprise to tell ye" |
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By *issusWoman
over a year ago
Belfast |
I used to have my face pics open in my old profile.
Now due to nature of my job I don't feel safe having it up in the open (not "safe" if anyone found out. Safe from getting randomly recognised and potentially assaulted or worse).
My other half has exactly same job as me, but he is a man so being randomly recognised would be a nice bonus to him (apart from some shady blank profiles messaging "I think I seen you" type of creepy things).
All that said - there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a face pic up.
Being on fab is nothing to be ashamed off. It's no worse than being on tinder. Actually better - you don't have to pretend to want to date all people you're chatting to.
People who assume that you're any less discreet must be seriously paranoid. I have no other explanation. Honestly - I can't figure out what on earth makes them come to that conclusion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did have face pics up when I joined for quite a while. But in my profile I didnt write all that much incase someone I knew saw it. I dont mind them knowing I'm here but dont want them to feel like an awkward turtle around me.
So took face pics down and wrote more instead. Might change it back someday |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I did have face pics up when I joined for quite a while. But in my profile I didnt write all that much incase someone I knew saw it. I dont mind them knowing I'm here but dont want them to feel like an awkward turtle around me.
So took face pics down and wrote more instead. Might change it back someday"
Is that not your real face then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I did have face pics up when I joined for quite a while. But in my profile I didnt write all that much incase someone I knew saw it. I dont mind them knowing I'm here but dont want them to feel like an awkward turtle around me.
So took face pics down and wrote more instead. Might change it back someday
Is that not your real face then "
It's an improvement on my real one! |
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By *issusWoman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"I did have face pics up when I joined for quite a while. But in my profile I didnt write all that much incase someone I knew saw it. I dont mind them knowing I'm here but dont want them to feel like an awkward turtle around me.
So took face pics down and wrote more instead. Might change it back someday"
That is also a very good point. Any time I had my face in public - I would never ever have any nudes out with it.
Nor my profile text was ever rude nor overly sexual |
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"
It's absolutely nothing to do with shame. Discretion is paramount in the scene. Trust is also super important.
If you are that open and free about posting your face lots of people may think that you may not be so discrete if they share face pics with you. Most people set their face pics to private.
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone with a face picture as their profile pic or in any play pics. I also wouldn't invite them to an event/social. I think you should probably think about that side of things OP.
B "
Why the need for discretion if it's not about shame and social stigma? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did have face pics up when I joined for quite a while. But in my profile I didnt write all that much incase someone I knew saw it. I dont mind them knowing I'm here but dont want them to feel like an awkward turtle around me.
So took face pics down and wrote more instead. Might change it back someday
That is also a very good point. Any time I had my face in public - I would never ever have any nudes out with it.
Nor my profile text was ever rude nor overly sexual "
I like your picture of your hair covering your face I could have done something like that with my lockdown hair but all gone now |
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"Never share anything you are uncomfortable losing control of.. we never do face pics. Although people having face pics public wouldn't put us off"
When you have one off your videos end up on a social media app you take the attitude off no face pics on your profile and no swapping face pics,take us as you see us when / if we meet.
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"
It's absolutely nothing to do with shame. Discretion is paramount in the scene. Trust is also super important.
If you are that open and free about posting your face lots of people may think that you may not be so discrete if they share face pics with you. Most people set their face pics to private.
Personally, I wouldn't meet someone with a face picture as their profile pic or in any play pics. I also wouldn't invite them to an event/social. I think you should probably think about that side of things OP.
B "
I am thinking about that side of things Beija-me. It's the reason I started this thread. I genuinely appreciate the feedback.
While I would disagree with the reasoning that by showing my face on here, I would be less discreet with other's photos, my agreement or disagreement is immaterial. If that's how some people feel, then it will limit my potential interaction with them. And my aim on here isn't to limit my potential interactions or invites to social events.
It's the norm on here not to show face pics, so by not showing them I shouldn't necessarily be limiting potential interactions. So it might make more sense to keep them private until I get chatting with someone.
Again, I appreciate the feedback. |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"I have face pics and I am totally discreet I choose to have face pics so people know what they are getting with me before they message me.."
Same as that. Ultimately, I think everyone would prefer to see a face pic so having them public allows people to make an informed decision. It also removes that potentially awkward 'moment of judgement'.
But, if people feel (assume) that you are going to be less discreet bcos you've got a face pic, then they aren't going to interact, unfortunately - regardless of the level of rational argumentation you put forward.  |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"Just curious for those that have face pics up.
Has anyone, friends, family members or work colleagues ever said it to you? That they have seen or been told. "
My post about it on facebook got a lot of likes, if that counts? 
I'm kidding!
Not yet, for me, but then I've only been here a short while. |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"I used to have my face pics open in my old profile.
Now due to nature of my job I don't feel safe having it up in the open (not "safe" if anyone found out. Safe from getting randomly recognised and potentially assaulted or worse).
My other half has exactly same job as me, but he is a man so being randomly recognised would be a nice bonus to him (apart from some shady blank profiles messaging "I think I seen you" type of creepy things).
All that said - there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a face pic up.
Being on fab is nothing to be ashamed off. It's no worse than being on tinder. Actually better - you don't have to pretend to want to date all people you're chatting to.
People who assume that you're any less discreet must be seriously paranoid. I have no other explanation. Honestly - I can't figure out what on earth makes them come to that conclusion.
"
There's definitely a level of male privilege involved, with the consequences of posting face pics.
I agree that the assumption that if you show your face on here, you are somehow less discreet with others privacy, is a misnomer. But, if that's how people genuinely feel then they simply won't interact with you/me.
I might actually have to make mine private when I start my new job as well. |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"Just curious for those that have face pics up.
Has anyone, friends, family members or work colleagues ever said it to you? That they have seen or been told.
Nope and even if they did I couldn't careless I'm not ashamed to be here it's my life in the end of the day"
I'd agree to a large extent, although I would understand where they are coming from and would empathise.
I would try to use it as an opportunity to try and break down that element of social conditioning too tho. |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"I only share face photos through DM. It’s just the way I’ve always been. I’m quite mysterious anyway! "
It might be the way to go, unfortunately, if it means not limiting the potential interactions on here. |
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By *ettaMan OP Man
over a year ago
Kerry and Dublin |
"Never share anything you are uncomfortable losing control of.. we never do face pics. Although people having face pics public wouldn't put us off"
cheers 'the Pumps'. That's good to know. |
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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago
The bog |
"Just curious for those that have face pics up.
Has anyone, friends, family members or work colleagues ever said it to you? That they have seen or been told.
My family know already and so do half my work colleagues
Did you tell them or did they just find out on their own
For me I'd just let everyone find out for themselves it won't exactly come up during the family dinner or at Christmas "lads I have one extra surprise to tell ye" "
I told them so there be no surprises.. |
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By *issusWoman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"I only share face photos through DM. It’s just the way I’ve always been. I’m quite mysterious anyway!
It might be the way to go, unfortunately, if it means not limiting the potential interactions on here."
It really doesn't limit your interactions. Quite the opposite.
Yes, a few will be turned off but do you really want to interact with their irrational assumptions? |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"I only share face photos through DM. It’s just the way I’ve always been. I’m quite mysterious anyway!
It might be the way to go, unfortunately, if it means not limiting the potential interactions on here.
It really doesn't limit your interactions. Quite the opposite.
Yes, a few will be turned off but do you really want to interact with their irrational assumptions? "
I can’t put up pictures of my nob due to the nature of my job but face is fine , No nob jokes please lol |
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