FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > What is fair when asking to verify?
What is fair when asking to verify?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Basically if not 100% sure about a profile who has contacted you.
We are probably the most cautious couple you could come across.Mrs might say over cautious when talking about me 
So the question is, is it ok to ask someone to verify themselves even more if the profile still casts doubts over you?
And what would you ask?
Couldn't care less what a fake profile would think if asked but a genuine one might take offense |
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Yes of course. I mean if the are just photo verefied, or a few suspicious meet veries. What's the harm in asking for further verification..
If they are not ok with that, that's there perogitive, also yours if you then don't wanna take things further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically if not 100% sure about a profile who has contacted you.
We are probably the most cautious couple you could come across.Mrs might say over cautious when talking about me
So the question is, is it ok to ask someone to verify themselves even more if the profile still casts doubts over you?
And what would you ask?
Couldn't care less what a fake profile would think if asked but a genuine one might take offense"
Don't think a genuine profile would take offense, I know I wouldn't. But if you have a gut feeling about someone trust it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We definitely have a good nose when sniffing out the fake or timewasters.Have seen a lot of new profiles who are new or were here before under a different profile.
We have asked for verifications from some if hidden and nothing
Have been tempted to ask for a recent picture with the days date on it (saw someone ask this before)but is that going a tad bit far |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm very cautious on fab I'm like a private dicktective trying to figure out if a profile is who they say they are.
I recently called out a guy for being a catfish as his pictures were so hot. But I did inspect his abs at a later date to prove he was real and we had a good laugh over it.
I would keep in mind though you can fake a live kik photo. That used to be my standard method of proving they are real. But there's apps to fake that. So maybe ask for them to send a live pic blowing a kiss etc. If they are serious and want to meet they should be happy to prove they are genuine |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm very cautious on fab I'm like a private dicktective trying to figure out if a profile is who they say they are.
I recently called out a guy for being a catfish as his pictures were so hot. But I did inspect his abs at a later date to prove he was real and we had a good laugh over it.
I would keep in mind though you can fake a live kik photo. That used to be my standard method of proving they are real. But there's apps to fake that. So maybe ask for them to send a live pic blowing a kiss etc. If they are serious and want to meet they should be happy to prove they are genuine"
That's a great idea but looking at your most recent picture blowing kisses might be a little hard 
Thanks everyone for the comments  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you've been around on here for a while, fakes/scammers stand out pretty clearly, whether that's on their profile or in their conversation.
A profile has been trying to chat to me this week, claiming to be female. They have been hesitant to send any photos, only a very generic looking one which could be from anywhere. The conversation from them is very sexual without any prompting, which is unusual in my experience for a female. I asked for a live photo - even of their hand (assuming I can identify a female hand!) - to verify themselves, but they are 'in work.' To me, it is a guy trying to get off on some dirty talk so I've stopped engaging.
My point is, if it doesn't feel right, ask for whatever will verify it for you - live photo, phonecall etc. and if they aren't happy to do it, move on. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I usually go by my gut instinct if something seems off then it's usually right and I'll just walk away.
I don't do phonecalls as I won't give out my number on here only a few very trusted friends have my phone number.And that has caused issues before especially when I was new here .
You could ask for a live pic or ask them to pop into a quiet cam room for quick cam call.If they have veris ask to see a few and go by them but if the profiles that gave given the veris are all hidden that won't mean much really.
Plus some genuine people will feel that having to jump through hoops to prove they are real is just not worth the effort.
I go by if someone is wanting and asking for pics etc to prove anything then they should be willing to share theirs first so that's another side to look at as well .
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By *issusWoman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"If in doubt, why would I bother, is how I see it. I trust my instincts.
Also, a quick social meet sorts out a lot in terms of assessing a person. "
Gotta agree.
Although my old profile had many veris from m&gs and different socials - many people still asked me to verify myself by a phone call or video chat which I never bother doing as I just don't feel the need to prove to anyone that I'm real.
I would never ask anyone for extra verifications to prove that they're real, but at the same time - I would never promise a stranger to have sex with them and meet new people for a social first which eliminates any need for such veris.
Trusting your gut and doing what you feel you need to do is the best policy really x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never ever verify a profile genuine you have not met in person and can’t 100% stand by.
If you’d rather not verify someone you have met, politely tell them you don’t do verifications because it leads to unwanted attention. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If in doubt, why would I bother, is how I see it. I trust my instincts.
Also, a quick social meet sorts out a lot in terms of assessing a person.
Gotta agree.
Although my old profile had many veris from m&gs and different socials - many people still asked me to verify myself by a phone call or video chat which I never bother doing as I just don't feel the need to prove to anyone that I'm real.
I would never ask anyone for extra verifications to prove that they're real, but at the same time - I would never promise a stranger to have sex with them and meet new people for a social first which eliminates any need for such veris.
Trusting your gut and doing what you feel you need to do is the best policy really x "
Hi. And hope I don't offend but your profile is an example I'm talking about. Few weeks on here. No picture verification. The only reason I believe you are real for a better word is because we are on fab years now so I think I recognize you from your profile.
Also your one shown veri is from dirk who we also recognize and has good verifications. Without that veri shown I may be hesitant in believing you
Also we wouldn't agree to a social meet unless we believe that person's profile is genuine first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of the day you need to feel comfortable meetinh someone so ask whatever you want and if they dont wanna share take it as its not meant to be.
I think veris are a good indicator and maybe check the persons profile who verified them too.
Im always up for a chat with couples and singles and verified if anyone wants to chat.. #justsayin  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its ok to ask whatever you want to ask as long as it's not personal details you're looking for. If something doesn't add up with their profile then trust your instincts. There are lots of little red flags that could niggle you so if you feel that then I'd walk away. One thing I would insist on before I met someone is a live photo. That's more of a security thing so I can be sure they are who they say they are. |
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I think it’s perfectly okay to ask ANYTHING. I’ve met men who had no veris and felt totally safe, and equally met men with loads of veris who made my skin crawl.
Just 100% trust your gut.
If the person doesn’t show their veris - as in just a summary - ask them to send a screenshot of them.
I think the key is how you feel about the person and if there is the SLIGHTEST red flag, run!! |
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By *issusWoman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"If in doubt, why would I bother, is how I see it. I trust my instincts.
Also, a quick social meet sorts out a lot in terms of assessing a person.
Gotta agree.
Although my old profile had many veris from m&gs and different socials - many people still asked me to verify myself by a phone call or video chat which I never bother doing as I just don't feel the need to prove to anyone that I'm real.
I would never ask anyone for extra verifications to prove that they're real, but at the same time - I would never promise a stranger to have sex with them and meet new people for a social first which eliminates any need for such veris.
Trusting your gut and doing what you feel you need to do is the best policy really x
Hi. And hope I don't offend but your profile is an example I'm talking about. Few weeks on here. No picture verification. The only reason I believe you are real for a better word is because we are on fab years now so I think I recognize you from your profile.
Also your one shown veri is from dirk who we also recognize and has good verifications. Without that veri shown I may be hesitant in believing you
Also we wouldn't agree to a social meet unless we believe that person's profile is genuine first"
Photo veri doesn't mean anything - couples profile I have with Dirk is photo verified, a guy who happened to have a couples profile and send photos of his own unsuspecting friends (who never even heard of fab) faces, photoshop them into nudes and try to meet people (police is now dealing with him) was also photo verified. Even meet verified.
I choose to keep my individual profile distanced from our activities as a couple purely because I do tend to have some outlandish opinions which often challenge the normality.
That said - I will be asking all my future meets not to verify this profile- I suffered enough in the past - due to sheer amount of veris I had random people were assuming (instead of actually reading them) that all them veris are from people I fucked and felt it was okay to treat me like a town bike.
I know you don't need any explanations, just wanted to give some insight to why some people chose to look "dodgy" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This kinda links back to a previous thread which I won't mention.
I don't see a problem with asking additional questions if you feel something needs to be clarified or you are concerned about. If that profile gets touchy then maybe they are bit sensitive and not for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s perfectly okay to ask ANYTHING. I’ve met men who had no veris and felt totally safe, and equally met men with loads of veris who made my skin crawl.
Just 100% trust your gut.
If the person doesn’t show their veris - as in just a summary - ask them to send a screenshot of them.
I think the key is how you feel about the person and if there is the SLIGHTEST red flag, run!!"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If in doubt, why would I bother, is how I see it. I trust my instincts.
Also, a quick social meet sorts out a lot in terms of assessing a person.
Gotta agree.
Although my old profile had many veris from m&gs and different socials - many people still asked me to verify myself by a phone call or video chat which I never bother doing as I just don't feel the need to prove to anyone that I'm real.
I would never ask anyone for extra verifications to prove that they're real, but at the same time - I would never promise a stranger to have sex with them and meet new people for a social first which eliminates any need for such veris.
Trusting your gut and doing what you feel you need to do is the best policy really x
Hi. And hope I don't offend but your profile is an example I'm talking about. Few weeks on here. No picture verification. The only reason I believe you are real for a better word is because we are on fab years now so I think I recognize you from your profile.
Also your one shown veri is from dirk who we also recognize and has good verifications. Without that veri shown I may be hesitant in believing you
Also we wouldn't agree to a social meet unless we believe that person's profile is genuine first
Photo veri doesn't mean anything - couples profile I have with Dirk is photo verified, a guy who happened to have a couples profile and send photos of his own unsuspecting friends (who never even heard of fab) faces, photoshop them into nudes and try to meet people (police is now dealing with him) was also photo verified. Even meet verified.
I choose to keep my individual profile distanced from our activities as a couple purely because I do tend to have some outlandish opinions which often challenge the normality.
That said - I will be asking all my future meets not to verify this profile- I suffered enough in the past - due to sheer amount of veris I had random people were assuming (instead of actually reading them) that all them veris are from people I fucked and felt it was okay to treat me like a town bike.
I know you don't need any explanations, just wanted to give some insight to why some people chose to look "dodgy" "
No I absolutely get you
I wouldn't trust photo veri without actually written verifications either.
It seems asking for a short video maybe is the answer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This kinda links back to a previous thread which I won't mention.
I don't see a problem with asking additional questions if you feel something needs to be clarified or you are concerned about. If that profile gets touchy then maybe they are bit sensitive and not for you. "
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"This kinda links back to a previous thread which I won't mention.
I don't see a problem with asking additional questions if you feel something needs to be clarified or you are concerned about. If that profile gets touchy then maybe they are bit sensitive and not for you. "
for us at least the easiest way to see if your being spoofed is to arrange a social over a coffee...if they can't turn up to that then we call bs on them. |
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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago
City Centre |
We generally meet people who have been verified by friends or who we have at least met socially.
If veris are hidden we would ask to see veris but the main thing is go with your gut...I think Mr Supple you should be well able to suss people out at this stage 
We would never ask people to a video call or would never do one ourselves. Just not us but again each to their own.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We generally meet people who have been verified by friends or who we have at least met socially.
If veris are hidden we would ask to see veris but the main thing is go with your gut...I think Mr Supple you should be well able to suss people out at this stage
We would never ask people to a video call or would never do one ourselves. Just not us but again each to their own.."
Haha . You would think B lol.
But even a school teacher with 20 years under him/her has to refresh every now and then  |
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"I think it’s perfectly okay to ask ANYTHING. I’ve met men who had no veris and felt totally safe, and equally met men with loads of veris who made my skin crawl.
Just 100% trust your gut.
If the person doesn’t show their veris - as in just a summary - ask them to send a screenshot of them.
I think the key is how you feel about the person and if there is the SLIGHTEST red flag, run!!"
This! It's OK to ask for whatever you need to make you feel comfortable as long as you don't feel entitled to it, and understand that what you're asking for may be beyond the comfort level of that person, and be prepared to walk away amicably if so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I deleted my last comment because I may have misunderstood your post.
Are you asking someone to verify you or the other way around?
I think you should have another go at it!"
Lol |
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