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Ruin a job interview in 5 words or less.
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
I'm not a people person
I googled your home address
I checked your company file
Glass door rates you poorly
My bosses always terminate me
I have a punctuality problem
Working for others irritates me
I frequently claim unfair dismissal
I have underlying personality issued
I'm a lone wolf operator
I punched my last boss
I don't readily take orders
I embezzled my last employer
I'm always out for myself
Punctuality is a major issue
I'm an inveterate backbiter
I can't provide character references
My last conviction was arson
I totalled the boss's car
Customer relations is a con
I manipulated my fellow employees
My CV is a fabrication
I am a pathological liar
Self interest is my watchword
I arrived late every day
Your company's reputation is S**t
Your interviewing technique is appalling
Honestly; mutton dressed as lamb
Did you shave this morning
Your offices need a makeover
I've already cased the joint
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
I attended a job interview a few years ago in a company whose industry sector I had extensively researched; however when I arrived for the interview the employees looked cowed and frightened.
It was only when I arrived upstairs and met the boss, an intimidating female with an overbearing attitude that stank, that I sussed the company culture.
I explained in due course the research I had undertaken worldwide, handed my research to the bloated boss, and said,
"Even you might learn something from studying this...", got up and walked out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not a people person
I googled your home address
I checked your company file
Glass door rates you poorly
My bosses always terminate me
I have a punctuality problem
Working for others irritates me
I frequently claim unfair dismissal
I have underlying personality issued
I'm a lone wolf operator
I punched my last boss
I don't readily take orders
I embezzled my last employer
I'm always out for myself
Punctuality is a major issue
I'm an inveterate backbiter
I can't provide character references
My last conviction was arson
I totalled the boss's car
Customer relations is a con
I manipulated my fellow employees
My CV is a fabrication
I am a pathological liar
Self interest is my watchword
I arrived late every day
Your company's reputation is S**t
Your interviewing technique is appalling
Honestly; mutton dressed as lamb
Did you shave this morning
Your offices need a makeover
I've already cased the joint
Brilliant
"
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"Pay me under the table?
Actually had this said to me once in an interview, the person wanted to stay signed on.
Used to happen a lot over here too pre computerisation "
It was when I was managing a team in Dublin about 15 years ago. Fully computerised payroll. |
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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Pay me under the table?
Actually had this said to me once in an interview, the person wanted to stay signed on.
Used to happen a lot over here too pre computerisation
It was when I was managing a team in Dublin about 15 years ago. Fully computerised payroll."
Presume you said no...and they moved on |
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"Pay me under the table?
Actually had this said to me once in an interview, the person wanted to stay signed on.
Used to happen a lot over here too pre computerisation
It was when I was managing a team in Dublin about 15 years ago. Fully computerised payroll.
Presume you said no...and they moved on "
It's one of my instant fails in an interview. |
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