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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
Think about how important the swinging lifestyle is to you OP because having established a new relationship you might have a lot of difficulty discussing it later on in a way that does not have a negative impact and if your new partner is not interested in it then you will have to give it up . Are you prepared to do that? |
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Consider being up front about the swinging in your past, but tell her that now you're in a relationship that it's not something you need. It would open the conversation and allow you two to talk about it without her feeling any pressure. You never know she might be interested down the line once she's had a chance to think about it. |
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
"Consider being up front about the swinging in your past, but tell her that now you're in a relationship that it's not something you need. It would open the conversation and allow you two to talk about it without her feeling any pressure. You never know she might be interested down the line once she's had a chance to think about it. "
Excellent response 
So wish I had done this myself many years ago  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a new other half should I mention I’m on fab and see if she’s into it and try it or just try leave the fab life behind?"
What do you think you should do ? |
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I think a new relationship takes time to get to know one another, pros and cons of telling your new partner I guess . They could be interested but want time to see if it’s a thing you want to bring into the relationship or could go the other way and they run for the hills. Not everyone likes or agrees with the lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Consider being up front about the swinging in your past, but tell her that now you're in a relationship that it's not something you need. It would open the conversation and allow you two to talk about it without her feeling any pressure. You never know she might be interested down the line once she's had a chance to think about it. "
Agreed, it's best to start off a relationship with honesty, especially if you think you might like to get back to swinging later. |
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By *s955Man
over a year ago
NORWICH |
Im in very similar situation im with someone new aswell we both meet through fab in meet ! It went really well few mouths later we hit it off! Weve spoke about potential coming on here but my issue im not kean on her being with another guy even if it was couple meet as i don't know how i would like it as it's not a turn on for myself , we still really fresh we know how strong are connection is , just thought if i speak to couples just to try get an different idea for a different prospective as im very open minded but seem to be closed when it involves another guy 
Please help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hypothetically if i was in your situation OP. I'd open up a discussion early days. Maybe start with talking about dating apps and past experiences. Get a feel of her morals and ideals. Fab may be mentioned then but only if the conversation leads that way. If it does.
Well then leave it there.
Build your relationship and if it is to be. The subject will crop up in the future |
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By *j69funCouple
over a year ago
kildare |
I had givin up fab as a single male when I decided it was time to date again and meet the beautiful miss j on a dating app. Shortly into the relationship we were chatting about fantasy and things we had tried, so I told her about fab and we chatted about it as she taught it sounded like fun so here we are swinging away and she was like Nun haha very Vanilla. So you never know til you ask. |
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By *s955Man
over a year ago
NORWICH |
Weve both opened up as when we first meet it was an mmf but she loved me just not the other guy but i remember seeing what it's like her being with someone else and i didn't like the look of seeing her doing oral to another man and we didn't even know eachother then now weve got strong connection and i have passionate feelings, i really dont like the look of that it's todo wirh ego aswell it's more to do with it doesn't give enjoyment but is that being selfish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Start as ya mean to go on I would say . It will save everyone time and head wreck etc .if your new partner is into monogamy and you are a swinger ....do the math its pain in the post ...as someone said already said ask ya self.will.you be fully happy
Best of luck  |
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"Weve both opened up as when we first meet it was an mmf but she loved me just not the other guy but i remember seeing what it's like her being with someone else and i didn't like the look of seeing her doing oral to another man and we didn't even know eachother then now weve got strong connection and i have passionate feelings, i really dont like the look of that it's todo wirh ego aswell it's more to do with it doesn't give enjoyment but is that being selfish "
Sounds like swinging might be a recipe for disaster as you are already voicing jealousy or certainly what I would interpret as jealousy - correct me if I'm wrong. If you're a couple who's into full swap, threesomes and moresomes, then a lot of the kick is in knowing and watching your partner being pleasured and pleasuring others.
If you want to swing, if she wants to swing - you both need to have a very honest conversation with respect, boundaries and expectations and be very clear so there is no miscommunication.
Good luck with it |
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By *asual777Man
over a year ago
i travel all over |
I think if I was to go back in time , and I am a guy who never spends a second regretting things , I would make it to clear everytime I got into a relationship how much of a red line sex is to me , and how adventurous I can be .
It’s very easy to try to portray the best version of you at the beginning and that might include some air brushing of your priorities in case you rock things . Long term that’s not good approach
So yes I would go with filthy’s approach of mentioning it . You might not want to carry on with it for now but it would make it absolutely clear that sex is a priority for you .. |
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By *s955Man
over a year ago
NORWICH |
"Weve both opened up as when we first meet it was an mmf but she loved me just not the other guy but i remember seeing what it's like her being with someone else and i didn't like the look of seeing her doing oral to another man and we didn't even know eachother then now weve got strong connection and i have passionate feelings, i really dont like the look of that it's todo wirh ego aswell it's more to do with it doesn't give enjoyment but is that being selfish
Sounds like swinging might be a recipe for disaster as you are already voicing jealousy or certainly what I would interpret as jealousy - correct me if I'm wrong. If you're a couple who's into full swap, threesomes and moresomes, then a lot of the kick is in knowing and watching your partner being pleasured and pleasuring others.
If you want to swing, if she wants to swing - you both need to have a very honest conversation with respect, boundaries and expectations and be very clear so there is no miscommunication.
Good luck with it"
Im pretty confident it's not jealously it's just im not a cuk or into seeing another guy with her but she does like the sound of another girl with me as she would get pleasures from that , i wamt her to be able to one day experience one of her bucket list with someone who she loves like myself , but just dont think seeing her getting , pleasured would turn me on , again it's not jealously just not my cup of tea ,
Thankyou ill need it as this would be a first for me , |
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"Consider being up front about the swinging in your past, but tell her that now you're in a relationship that it's not something you need. It would open the conversation and allow you two to talk about it without her feeling any pressure. You never know she might be interested down the line once she's had a chance to think about it. "
This is good advice.
It also depends on how long you're in the relationship already and if it is a relationship you really want to pursue to the point you'd stop swinging for it?
If its more of a fling I'd bring it up straight away.
If you're really into her for the long term, I would probably approach the subject subtlety. |
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