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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I met up with a couple for some MMF fun, initially all appeared to be going well...we sat & chatted, had a few drinks, discussed likes & dislikes etc....with his ok I began to play with the lady & he even joined in..smacking her ass as he fucked her...
The after about 30 mins of fun he decided he was going to restrain her...hands handcuffed, collar around neck...only this time no only did he smack her ass, but also hit her around the body & her face...he also started to verbally degrade & humiliate her...
He wanted me to join in...I told him it wasn't my thing ...& as it didn't seem fun or consensual I asked the lady did she want to leave with me...but he wouldn't let her leave.
I have no great experience of the bdsm scene, but this seemed wrong to me & my understanding of bdsm...
I left, but should I have done more for the lady. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It could have just been their kink and if it was then it should have been discussed before things went to the bedroom .Putting anyone in a position where they are not happy at a meet is wrong no matter what gender you are.
However if she didn't agree to leave with you when you asked then I don't know how much more you could have done really. You gave her the option and she didn't accept it.
He seems like he was someone who looked after what he wanted rather than those who are with him tho and that's never good . |
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It may have been part of their dynamic, in which case, in my opinion, they should have been open & upfront about it with you before hand. Trying to involve you in that kind of scene by stealth was violating your consent & you did the right thing leaving.
As to whether you did the right thing leaving her there when you thought she wasn't consenting, I can't honestly say. If he is an abuser she may not have felt safe voicing the fact with you. And it probably wouldn't have been a safe out for her to leave with you. If you have her personal contact info, maybe drop her a line expressing your concern for her safety.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very strange not sure what to say part of me would be worried then again maybe that's what was planned but yeah they should if let you in on what was going to happen |
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Report them. Without question. If the BDSM element wasn't mentioned previously then he (perhaps they) are totally out of order doing that. Reporting allows admin to keep record of these things if there is ever another issue going forward
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Having been in an hotel room with a woman who punched me in the face and kneed me in the balls without warning in the hope of retaliation from me I know what is like to have people not discuss their kinks beforehand.
Like you I walked away and refused to be part of it but unlike you there were only the two of us.
I wouldn't have left until I was sure she had given consent.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been through the same experience a few years ago in a private house with a couple. And it freaked me out to be honest. He kept assuring me that it was their dynamic... But she didn't. And thats what was the most unsettling thing. I was badly shaken by the experience  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having been in an hotel room with a woman who punched me in the face and kneed me in the balls without warning in the hope of retaliation from me I know what is like to have people not discuss their kinks beforehand.
Like you I walked away and refused to be part of it but unlike you there were only the two of us.
I wouldn't have left until I was sure she had given consent.
"
Jesus man thats fucked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it's not my thing so i don't understand it. I feel hurting anyone, even in consensual sexual case, is awkward and sad for me to read . But we constantly preach about not judging so if ths what consenting people are into then OK. However bringing a third party into it without their knowledge is insulting and then physically injuring them without their consent is assault. |
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These kinds of stories are precisely why we insist on getting to know people on a social level before any kind of sexual activities ever take place.
Arranging to have sex with random strangers, no matter how much online chat had taken place has a higher chance of being a dissapontment and at times borderline criminal case.
Yes it's horny, but is that horny really worth it? |
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Regardless of whether or not she was consenting, you absolutely were not and that is unacceptable. You don't involve people in sexual activity they haven't consented to, even if it's just watching, and they've consented to other things.
Leaving is the only thing you could have done for yourself, but rather than just asking the lady to leave with you I'd have maybe tried to get a more explicit statement from her as to whether she was consenting, or if she was uncomfortable, or if SHE wanted TK leave. If she wasn't OK, you'd have been well within your rights to call hotel security or the Gardai as he was keeping her there against her will. If she was ok and consenting (which of course is a possibility!) you'd have been more comfortable leaving her there.
I say all this as someone who's kinky and has enjoyed that kind of rough play personally. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would like to thank everyone for their replies... a lady friend had recommended me to them....my friend had played with him before & found no issues...I understand the girl was a fairly new girlfriend...he wanted to get her into the lifestyle.
He is not Irish, she seemed somewhat nervous but I took that as nerves on meeting.
I honestly think what I observed was an abusive relationship, not Sub Dom
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