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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
The Irish Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of €1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of €72,000...
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with €96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Quarter Master who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had
received. But the old Quartermaster insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the man to drop 'em,' which He did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Quartermasters penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed,
'Where Are your testicles?'
The Quartermaster calmly replied, ' The Lebanon' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stumbled out of bed, made my way to the bathroom, when i fell to the floor, something wrapped around my legs,
It was the ladies bra,
A feckin Boobie trap |
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"
The Irish Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of €1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of €72,000...
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with €96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Quarter Master who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had
received. But the old Quartermaster insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the man to drop 'em,' which He did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Quartermasters penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed,
'Where Are your testicles?'
The Quartermaster calmly replied, ' The Lebanon'"
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