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Married section
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well... to be honest, yes, I think it would be a good choice to introduce...
mind you, I suspect half the folks here on all 5 sides of the fence are married but are withholding the fact
some people want them blocked, some are actually LOOKING for those cause they find it easier to deal with them, etc etc... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"well... to be honest, yes, I think it would be a good choice to introduce...
mind you, I suspect half the folks here on all 5 sides of the fence are married but are withholding the fact
some people want them blocked, some are actually LOOKING for those cause they find it easier to deal with them, etc etc... "
That's my angle... I'm married and playing alone and it would be nicer to have someone who is in the same position and prefers the associated discretion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well... to be honest, yes, I think it would be a good choice to introduce...
mind you, I suspect half the folks here on all 5 sides of the fence are married but are withholding the fact
some people want them blocked, some are actually LOOKING for those cause they find it easier to deal with them, etc etc...
That's my angle... I'm married and playing alone and it would be nicer to have someone who is in the same position and prefers the associated discretion "
Just pit that wording on your profile, if people are interested they can decide to respond to a message or get in touch. |
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"The site probably doesn't want to be seen to condone people cheating on their loved ones. It's the unpleasant side of the site that they probably don't really want to delve into.
"
Yet a large number of individuals on both sides of the fence conveniently decide not to mention their marital status and then have the gall to call those honest about it, cheaters.
It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. |
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LOLOL!! And the reliably judgey assholes are out again in force. I saw this topic and listed in my head who would comment like they own the place and which men would agree in pathetic hope of being a chosen one. Classic!!!
No wonder this site is going to shit.
Yeah I think it would be good as I think it would be nice for people to discuss things but I really doubt the fake moral police would allow anyone to post in piece without having to have their little digs. |
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"The site probably doesn't want to be seen to condone people cheating on their loved ones. It's the unpleasant side of the site that they probably don't really want to delve into.
Yet a large number of individuals on both sides of the fence conveniently decide not to mention their marital status and then have the gall to call those honest about it, cheaters.
It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. "
Exactly. Then you look through couples profiles and you see all the married people they’ve played with. Too funny. But never let the truth get in the way of a good hypocritical rant LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"LOLOL!! And the reliably judgey assholes are out again in force. I saw this topic and listed in my head who would comment like they own the place and which men would agree in pathetic hope of being a chosen one. Classic!!!
No wonder this site is going to shit.
Yeah I think it would be good as I think it would be nice for people to discuss things but I really doubt the fake moral police would allow anyone to post in piece without having to have their little digs. "
I dont really care what other people do to be honest. But are people not entitled to their opinion without being called assholes? And if you only mean it for a specific post why not quote that one.
Also this may be incredible to hear but some men have opinions and give them without wanting a ride out of it |
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"LOLOL!! And the reliably judgey assholes are out again in force. I saw this topic and listed in my head who would comment like they own the place and which men would agree in pathetic hope of being a chosen one. Classic!!!
No wonder this site is going to shit.
Yeah I think it would be good as I think it would be nice for people to discuss things but I really doubt the fake moral police would allow anyone to post in piece without having to have their little digs.
I dont really care what other people do to be honest. But are people not entitled to their opinion without being called assholes? And if you only mean it for a specific post why not quote that one.
Also this may be incredible to hear but some men have opinions and give them without wanting a ride out of it"
It’s when in one thread they care about what people are going through and another they’re judgey as hell when they don’t know everyone’s story. And it’s not just one thread. It’s every thread.
And no, I don’t think men are incapable of thinking for themselves. But most will say anything to get laid. Including that they are single when they aren’t. It’s not all men, but it’s always men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm sure there is other married men and women in here who feel the same but maybe they don't find other married due to lack of a filter........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It’s when in one thread they care about what people are going through and another they’re judgey as hell when they don’t know everyone’s story. And it’s not just one thread. It’s every thread.
And no, I don’t think men are incapable of thinking for themselves. But most will say anything to get laid. Including that they are single when they aren’t. It’s not all men, but it’s always men. "
I'm.sorry but caring about others mental health does not mean never giving your opinion about others actions. I've seen this so many times recently. It is not online bullying to state that you believe certain behaviour is wrong/unacceptable.
And it is in no way only men that lie or go along to get the leg over |
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"The site probably doesn't want to be seen to condone people cheating on their loved ones. It's the unpleasant side of the site that they probably don't really want to delve into.
Yet a large number of individuals on both sides of the fence conveniently decide not to mention their marital status and then have the gall to call those honest about it, cheaters.
It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. "
Lol @ calling those who cheat on their partners "honest" and them getting butthurt about being called cheaters.
Silliest thing I heard here in a while.
Also all i did was give the likely reason for the lack of the function that OP is asking for. I don't know for 100% but that's my best guess as to why this function doesn't exist on the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm sure there is other married men and women in here who feel the same but maybe they don't find other married due to lack of a filter........"
Ya sorry OP didn't mean to hijack your thread. It probably would be a useful filter tbh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's cool guys, yeah there is probably lots that think married playing alone is wrong and cheating but sure its their own choice. I just think a married person would have a better understanding of the reasons of playing away that say someone who is living a single life and no commitments........ I got badly burned by a single person 6 years ago so that kinda made me keep my guard up.... |
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"Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm sure there is other married men and women in here who feel the same but maybe they don't find other married due to lack of a filter........
Ya sorry OP didn't mean to hijack your thread. It probably would be a useful filter tbh"
Agreed it would obviously be useful to have a flag for those playing away, that is searchable. The fact it doesn't already exist speaks volumes and is the reason for my guess as to the reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems like my quest shall continue "
There is a site feedback/suggestion section of the forum might be less debate about the morality and more about the actual suggestion if you post there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems like my quest shall continue "
Good luck in your search
It's horses for courses here, so you'll find plenty who won't have an issue with your personal circumstances
And before anyone judges me, I was that person whose other half was here for years without their knowledge |
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There is a site specifically for those seeking an affair (called Ashl3y M@d1s0n) which seems to have an Irish domain. Tbh I do agree that there should be a field for single / open / poly / married / attached etc. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That site, And many others similar to it, have people to sit and make fake profiles to get people in...... Been around a few different ones and amazing how many use the exact same profiles, pictures and names. |
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I think a filter would be useful whether you were searching for or wanting to avoid "attached & partner unaware"
People who choose not to get involved with people in this situation are not necessarily judging, but they'll probably have their reasons for making it a hard limit & they're entitled to their preference.
Much the same way as the Op would prefer not to get involved with a single person based on his part experiences. I don't find his preference judgey. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think a filter would be useful whether you were searching for or wanting to avoid "attached & partner unaware"
People who choose not to get involved with people in this situation are not necessarily judging, but they'll probably have their reasons for making it a hard limit & they're entitled to their preference.
Much the same way as the Op would prefer not to get involved with a single person based on his part experiences. I don't find his preference judgey. "
Thanks for that... Very well said |
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"Interested to know am I considered a judgy asshole. "
Actually you weren’t. Not in the slightest. You were dead straight.
But the casual use of the word cheaters for anyone on here who isn’t single or has a life partner is incredibly judgemental. Those people
Have NO idea what other people’s circumstances are and bandy around that word and judgment like verifications. And we all know they hold very little such moral stance when faced with someone they want. It’s a joke, they’re a joke. |
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"Interested to know am I considered a judgy asshole.
Actually you weren’t. Not in the slightest. You were dead straight.
But the casual use of the word cheaters for anyone on here who isn’t single or has a life partner is incredibly judgemental. Those people
Have NO idea what other people’s circumstances are and bandy around that word and judgment like verifications. And we all know they hold very little such moral stance when faced with someone they want. It’s a joke, they’re a joke. "
How would you define a "cheater" I wonder if its not someone who fucks people behind their unknowing partners back?
What's wrong with casually using the word in this way if that's what the word means? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Weather must me nice way up on those high horses
I think 'cheating = bad' is a fairly low horse tbh. More a pony really. "
Everyone has their reason for what they do in their lives. |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Oh lord no need to exercise when one has the forum and threads like these to read and laugh at...
Bahahahhahaha...
Seriously though... funny ....
" There is love and there is lust they don’t always go hand in hand but both are lovely to have |
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"LOLOL!! And the reliably judgey assholes are out again in force. I saw this topic and listed in my head who would comment like they own the place and which men would agree in pathetic hope of being a chosen one. Classic!!!
No wonder this site is going to shit.
Yeah I think it would be good as I think it would be nice for people to discuss things but I really doubt the fake moral police would allow anyone to post in piece without having to have their little digs. "
100% agree with this comment.your points are exactly why i stayed off the forums. Moral police . I couldn't have put it better myself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a think skin and been called a lot worse......so someone stating their opinion or morality to me on here I just let go and get on with my own life. |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Oh lord no need to exercise when one has the forum and threads like these to read and laugh at...
Bahahahhahaha...
Seriously though... funny ....
" There is love and there is lust they don’t always go hand in hand but both are lovely to have |
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"I have a think skin and been called a lot worse......so someone stating their opinion or morality to me on here I just let go and get on with my own life. "
I don't think anyone is calling anyone rude names here or insulting anyone. I don't think using the word "cheater" to describe someone who cheats on their partner is an insult or anything to be annoyed about. Its like a someone who drives a car getting annoyed at being called a driver lol. If you or anyone else doesn't want to be described in a way thay makes them feel bad, then then stop acting that makes you judge yourselves over the name for it. If you cheat and you're happy with that then that removes your right to have a hissy fit over being describes as a cheater. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah it would be so handy to be able to block them in advance."
Absolutely. I understand that some married people play here with permission; that's grand. But cheaters can fuck off.
And I am happy on that high horse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The site probably doesn't want to be seen to condone people cheating on their loved ones. It's the unpleasant side of the site that they probably don't really want to delve into.
Yet a large number of individuals on both sides of the fence conveniently decide not to mention their marital status and then have the gall to call those honest about it, cheaters.
It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. "
Won't somebody think of the honest cheaters? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well... to be honest, yes, I think it would be a good choice to introduce...
mind you, I suspect half the folks here on all 5 sides of the fence are married but are withholding the fact
some people want them blocked, some are actually LOOKING for those cause they find it easier to deal with them, etc etc...
That's my angle... I'm married and playing alone and it would be nicer to have someone who is in the same position and prefers the associated discretion "
Do singles not do the associated discretion |
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"The site probably doesn't want to be seen to condone people cheating on their loved ones. It's the unpleasant side of the site that they probably don't really want to delve into.
Yet a large number of individuals on both sides of the fence conveniently decide not to mention their marital status and then have the gall to call those honest about it, cheaters.
It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
Won't somebody think of the honest cheaters?"
aaaaaach! ya, her doktor, I zee z problem hir!
vee need to define ze definition of what constitutes a cheater, before we can determine the full taxonomy or types of such animal!
ya, I agree |
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"LOLOL!! And the reliably judgey assholes are out again in force. I saw this topic and listed in my head who would comment like they own the place and which men would agree in pathetic hope of being a chosen one. Classic!!!
No wonder this site is going to shit.
Yeah I think it would be good as I think it would be nice for people to discuss things but I really doubt the fake moral police would allow anyone to post in piece without having to have their little digs. " |
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Honestly don’t think the “married” section would be used. Not all married people playing without partners knowledge will be upfront about it . And reading this thread proves it most will not mention it cause of the reaction. Not saying I agree.
But there are other sites suggested that will more upfront about it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Before Fab there was Swing4Ireland and that did have the option to indicate you partnership status.
This in reality is a site where married & single hook with a hope of sex ... to society in general we are all perverts ... this is supposed to be a non-judgemenal space where like minded people can meet.
People are indeed entitled to their opinions, but occasionally the opinion is best kept to your self.
As other OPs pointed out no one knows the reason or reason people are here.
Judge not least you be judged.
You say it best when you say nothing at all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm sure there is plenty on here married and not saying so..... Its all personal preference in the end. Was just seeing if other married might feel the same that's all. Not looking for sympathy or justification with the post at all. We're all adults and capable of a conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both my husband and I are here as 2 single profiles and We don't play as a couple. I have on occasion been accused as being nothing more than "A cheater" by a few here. The thing that made me laugh was that they called me that after I turned them down. So if I said yes to them they wouldn't of cared was I here unknowns to my husband or not. So when these threads and similar raise their ugly heads I try not to comment as the double standard's and hypocrisy of some is laughable. I for one won't judge anyones reasons for being here as life is not always black white or even simple. I actually would be more concerned with a lot of nastiness and bullying that goes on here rather than as to what some other people get up to in their private lives. Maybe we all should look within before we become judge and jury on other people's lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All this must start from being completely honest from start..
If married etc say your married and ya have permission or they don't know your here... then if someone decides to have fun with you then it that person's choice knowing full well the situation.
For a lifestyle and site that should promote being open mindedness and respectful to peoples kinks etc there is alot of crap comes with the good it does as well...
I can't understand why people feel they have to judge anyone...
if something is not for you... you say its not for you and leave at that no need to give opinion on anyone else's choices & on flip side when someone says sorry your not for me accept it and respect someone decision and again move on no need for nastiness it's simply not their thing.
That's my two cents
Happy Fabbing all and have a good fun Bank Holiday weekend
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We ALL judge other people.
OK this topic maybe one that some peope see as live and let live, but pretending that we all don't make judgements on other actions and opinions daily is fantasy.
"Judge not least you be judged"
The above statement alone is judging others for judging.
Its great to have differing views and to hear the reasons why but can we leave out the pretentious I don't judge others element of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And answer OP question if married if section promotes honesty from start so people can make genuine decisions before playing then why not have a section. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ALL judge other people.
OK this topic maybe one that some peope see as live and let live, but pretending that we all don't make judgements on other actions and opinions daily is fantasy.
"Judge not least you be judged"
The above statement alone is judging others for judging.
Its great to have differing views and to hear the reasons why but can we leave out the pretentious I don't judge others element of it."
I agree everyone has different opinions and views... but you think it's better to tell others about your opinions and views of there lifestyle which alone causing discussion which is good but then leads to ridicule how many times ya seen it on here which leads to nastiness... than just saying here it's not me Happy Fabbing hope you find what your lookin for here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ALL judge other people.
OK this topic maybe one that some peope see as live and let live, but pretending that we all don't make judgements on other actions and opinions daily is fantasy.
"Judge not least you be judged"
The above statement alone is judging others for judging.
Its great to have differing views and to hear the reasons why but can we leave out the pretentious I don't judge others element of it.
I agree everyone has different opinions and views... but you think it's better to tell others about your opinions and views of there lifestyle which alone causing discussion which is good but then leads to ridicule how many times ya seen it on here which leads to nastiness... than just saying here it's not me Happy Fabbing hope you find what your lookin for here. "
Personally it depends on the topic for me. Sometimes I will comment and tell someone what I think of their actions/opinions, after all this is a public forum. I dont always feel the need to. Thats just me. What I dont get is clearly judgmental posts telling people not to be judgemental.
I also don't see the point in telling other what they should and should not comment on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ALL judge other people.
OK this topic maybe one that some peope see as live and let live, but pretending that we all don't make judgements on other actions and opinions daily is fantasy.
"Judge not least you be judged"
The above statement alone is judging others for judging.
Its great to have differing views and to hear the reasons why but can we leave out the pretentious I don't judge others element of it."
I stand by my comment that I don't judge anyones reasons for being here and if some see that as pretentious then so be it. I do look at other people's choices and actions here and in my own mind think WTF but do I feel the need to come here and spout my opinion about that no I don't. I only ever say that I don't judge anyones reason for being here as its something I feel strongly about. It is good to hear all sides of any argument as it gives you a better insight to people. A healthy debate with no mud slinging is what the forums should be about. |
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Any thread with any attachment to a partner playing behind the others ones back never go down well.
People will feel very strongly it’s wrong,
People know what they doing what risks etc
Even if you openly admit your attached your in the wrong or even if your lie your in the wrong
It |
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"“If you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” is a good motto in life..... and even more so in the threads "
Meh I've always hated that saying. Its fine to have an opinion. It's healthy to express an opinion. It's fine to be wrong and to be persuaded of something different. As long as its the substantive issue thats addressed and it doesn't get personal then it's a "good" thing. |
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By *reland8Man
over a year ago
sandyford |
I don’t disagree that debating is healthy, but I disagree that it’s always “good thing”
I’d hate to be an op as so many posts seem to “go off topic”, this guy posts about married and all he’s got is - “ cheating and blocking!
Bi guys posting about meeting bi couples and gets - “no, not for us”
Like I said debate is fine but sometime it turns into a bit of bully behaviour and it would be better if “you’ve nothing nice to say, go find a forum that does interest you” |
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"I don’t disagree that debating is healthy, but I disagree that it’s always “good thing”
I’d hate to be an op as so many posts seem to “go off topic”, this guy posts about married and all he’s got is - “ cheating and blocking!
Bi guys posting about meeting bi couples and gets - “no, not for us”
Like I said debate is fine but sometime it turns into a bit of bully behaviour and it would be better if “you’ve nothing nice to say, go find a forum that does interest you” "
Oh god what a dull world it would be if we were only able to say nice things all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"well... to be honest, yes, I think it would be a good choice to introduce...
mind you, I suspect half the folks here on all 5 sides of the fence are married but are withholding the fact
some people want them blocked, some are actually LOOKING for those cause they find it easier to deal with them, etc etc...
That's my angle... I'm married and playing alone and it would be nicer to have someone who is in the same position and prefers the associated discretion
Do singles not do the associated discretion "
I've not had the best of experiences with singles before, not saying all are like that at all. Just for meeting, texting and talking just seems to be more understanding with someone in the same position.
If you feel comfortable calling me a cheater that's perfectly fine... I am, But at the end of the day it's my decision and nobody knows my home life so realistically can't comment on the reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Answering the OP orignal question I think it would be a very popular search function given the numbers of guys contacting me because I'm married and they love that fact. |
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" being nice doesn’t mean dull
I’m not saying everyone has to agree with everything everyone says but if the forum isn’t for you maybe move on or are you saying it’s more fun to be disagreeing and cutting people down so that’s a better world ?"
A group of people all nodding and forcing smiles at each other?? Sounds fucking awful.
I'm glad that's not the forum.
This forums represents reality where there are people who believe siffernt things are right and wrong and have the freedom to express it. Thank heavens for that. As long as its not a personal attack then yes, that's a good thing.
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"well... to be honest, yes, I think it would be a good choice to introduce...
mind you, I suspect half the folks here on all 5 sides of the fence are married but are withholding the fact
some people want them blocked, some are actually LOOKING for those cause they find it easier to deal with them, etc etc...
That's my angle... I'm married and playing alone and it would be nicer to have someone who is in the same position and prefers the associated discretion
Do singles not do the associated discretion
I've not had the best of experiences with singles before, not saying all are like that at all. Just for meeting, texting and talking just seems to be more understanding with someone in the same position.
If you feel comfortable calling me a cheater that's perfectly fine... I am, But at the end of the day it's my decision and nobody knows my home life so realistically can't comment on the reasons."
I woudnt dream of asking you to comment on the reasons you cheat, that's your own business. I also wouldn't ever attack you personally as I'm sure you have plenty of fine qualities and aren't defined by this one thing.
The bit that's plain fucking weird is when people here seemed to have taken offense to using the word "cheater" to describe someone who is cheating in their partner. As if it's some kind of taboo today this. I'm not gonna pussyfoot around it to massage anyones ego. They need to own their shit. |
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By *reland8Man
over a year ago
sandyford |
"well... to be honest, yes, I think it would be a good choice to introduce...
mind you, I suspect half the folks here on all 5 sides of the fence are married but are withholding the fact
some people want them blocked, some are actually LOOKING for those cause they find it easier to deal with them, etc etc...
That's my angle... I'm married and playing alone and it would be nicer to have someone who is in the same position and prefers the associated discretion
Do singles not do the associated discretion
I've not had the best of experiences with singles before, not saying all are like that at all. Just for meeting, texting and talking just seems to be more understanding with someone in the same position.
If you feel comfortable calling me a cheater that's perfectly fine... I am, But at the end of the day it's my decision and nobody knows my home life so realistically can't comment on the reasons.
I woudnt dream of asking you to comment on the reasons you cheat, that's your own business. I also wouldn't ever attack you personally as I'm sure you have plenty of fine qualities and aren't defined by this one thing.
The bit that's plain fucking weird is when people here seemed to have taken offense to using the word "cheater" to describe someone who is cheating in their partner. As if it's some kind of taboo today this. I'm not gonna pussyfoot around it to massage anyones ego. They need to own their shit."
No ones asking you to massage anyone’s ego, but you don’t know anything about any of the above contributors, it’s a swingers site, there are any number of details that you don’t know about....why do you need to call them anything??!
If you don’t like “if you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” then maybe try this.....
“I often think this place is TERRIBLE for people who are struggling with depression or having a low. Particularly for the single men who don't have a partner to rely on, and have to deal with nearly constant rejection. It must be very tough. There are much healthier places to hang out.” A wise quote from you
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"I'm fairly sure nobody on this thread has been mean go anyone else. I'm not sure where you're getting that from. "
Saying cheating is bad = mean, unacceptable, bullying.
Actually cheating = live and let live, I don't judge, nobody's business etc etc etc.
The logic is absent.
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