FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > The derailed thread of nothingness!

The derailed thread of nothingness!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have you ever seen threads on a certain topic being totally derailed and getting sidetracked?

Well here is the derailed thread with no actual theme, topic or substance of any note!

Post whatever the fuck you want

Be it the price of turnips or how much of cock obsessed jezebel Rosie is or maybe you have a short inspirational essay you'd like to share with us all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Aren't boobs awesome?

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By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

Cake is awesome

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Willy's are awesome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Barry’s teabags are the best

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got cramps on my back. Took CBd oil. now taking a gong bath while reading messages and the forum.

This is awesome

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

Did you ever wish you could rob a bank

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/21 18:15:32]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love the smell of leather

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did you ever wish you could rob a bank "

Have it all worked out ill pm ya

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gonna go run in the rain because why not! Ill be listening to some rock and thinking about how do they get the fig into a fig roll

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some Irish words beginning with P....

Pleidhce, Plódaithe and Póigín

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mars beats snickers every time

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

The sirens are screaming, and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight

There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye

And a blade shining oh so bright

There's evil in the air and there's thunder in the sky,

And a killer's on the bloodshot streets

And down in the tunnels where the deadly are rising

Oh, I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter

He was starting to foam in the heat

Oh, baby you're the only thing in this whole world

That's pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There's always gonna be some light,

But I gotta get out, I gotta break out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it's over, you know,

We'll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight's shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver-black phantom bike

When the metal is hot, and the engine is hungry

And we're all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole,

And everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks, and nothing really rolls,

And nothing's ever worth the cost

Well I know that I'm damned if I never get out,

And maybe I'm damned if I do,

But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,

You know I want to be damned with you

If I gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned

Dancing through the night with you/

Well if I gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned,

Gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned

Dancing through the night,

Dancing through the night with you

Oh, baby you're the only thing in this whole world

That's pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There's always gonna be some light,

But I gotta get out, I gotta break out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it's over, you know,

We'll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight's shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

Well I can see myself tearing up the road, faster

Than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw, but my soul is ripe,

And no one's gonna stop me now, I'm gonna make my escape

But I can't stop thinking of you,

And I never see the sudden curve until it's way too late

Then I'm down in the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun,

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike,

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart, still beating,

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I'm down in the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun,

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike,

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart,

Still beating still beating

Breaking out of my body, and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Oh, like a bat out of hell

Oh, like a bat out of hell (I'll be gone when the morning comes)

Oh, like a bat out of hell

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Gonna go run in the rain because why not! Ill be listening to some rock and thinking about how do they get the fig into a fig roll

It's on youtube

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got a new toy and may never need a man again for pleasure oops

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mars beats snickers every time

No it doesn't.

En-garde

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

Kaizer could RB take over the lyrics thread please .....thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The sirens are screaming, and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight

There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye

And a blade shining oh so bright

There's evil in the air and there's thunder in the sky,

And a killer's on the bloodshot streets

And down in the tunnels where the deadly are rising

Oh, I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter

He was starting to foam in the heat

Oh, baby you're the only thing in this whole world

That's pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There's always gonna be some light,

But I gotta get out, I gotta break out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it's over, you know,

We'll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight's shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver-black phantom bike

When the metal is hot, and the engine is hungry

And we're all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole,

And everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks, and nothing really rolls,

And nothing's ever worth the cost

Well I know that I'm damned if I never get out,

And maybe I'm damned if I do,

But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,

You know I want to be damned with you

If I gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned

Dancing through the night with you/

Well if I gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned,

Gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned

Dancing through the night,

Dancing through the night with you

Oh, baby you're the only thing in this whole world

That's pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There's always gonna be some light,

But I gotta get out, I gotta break out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it's over, you know,

We'll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight's shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

Well I can see myself tearing up the road, faster

Than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw, but my soul is ripe,

And no one's gonna stop me now, I'm gonna make my escape

But I can't stop thinking of you,

And I never see the sudden curve until it's way too late

Then I'm down in the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun,

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike,

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart, still beating,

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I'm down in the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun,

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike,

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart,

Still beating still beating

Breaking out of my body, and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Oh, like a bat out of hell

Oh, like a bat out of hell (I'll be gone when the morning comes)

Oh, like a bat out of hell"

I sang every word of that

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"I got a new toy and may never need a man again for pleasure oops"

Ffs I'll turn around

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Kim Anami, a 44-year-old intimacy coach and vaginal weight lifter, travels the world lifting exotic objects weighing up to ten pounds... with her vag

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By *uriousVoyeurMan over a year ago

Northside

"Did you ever wish you could rob a bank "

See what happens when you start off robbing orchards and not getting caught??? Its a slippery slope! Especially with the price of turnips being so high!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got a new toy and may never need a man again for pleasure oops"

I'm afraid toys will never replace a freshly shaved and parfumed man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got a new toy and may never need a man again for pleasure oops

I'm afraid toys will never replace a freshly shaved and parfumed man

Probably not but I'm sticking with my new toy less hassle

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"I got a new toy and may never need a man again for pleasure oops

I'm afraid toys will never replace a freshly shaved and parfumed man

How about both

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mars beats snickers every time

No it doesn't.

En-garde

Lol you’re in dangerous territory now

Would a physical exchange decide on a winner?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got a new toy and may never need a man again for pleasure oops

I'm afraid toys will never replace a freshly shaved and parfumed man

How about both "

Theres the ultimate dream

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By *iscuits8Man over a year ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

"Aren't boobs awesome?

"Cake is awesome"

I'm going to blow your minds here... what about...

BOOBS WITH CAKE ALL OVER THEM

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"I got a new toy and may never need a man again for pleasure oops

I'm afraid toys will never replace a freshly shaved and parfumed man

How about both

Theres the ultimate dream

Dreams do cum through

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mars beats snickers every time

No it doesn't.

En-garde

Lol you’re in dangerous territory now

Would a physical exchange decide on a winner?

Those fluttering eyelids have me weak at the knees already, between that and your being so large its an unfair advantage

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If chicken takes like everything, why does it taste nothing like pussy?

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By *oo32Man over a year ago

tipperary

Sumo wrestlers make kids cry for good luck...

The bactards...

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By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight? "

Lasagne for dinner and brownies for dessert.

Mongolian beef tomorrow. chicken and ham pie on friday

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"The sirens are screaming, and the fires are howling

Way down in the valley tonight

There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye

And a blade shining oh so bright

There's evil in the air and there's thunder in the sky,

And a killer's on the bloodshot streets

And down in the tunnels where the deadly are rising

Oh, I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter

He was starting to foam in the heat

Oh, baby you're the only thing in this whole world

That's pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There's always gonna be some light,

But I gotta get out, I gotta break out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it's over, you know,

We'll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight's shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram

On a silver-black phantom bike

When the metal is hot, and the engine is hungry

And we're all about to see the light

Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole,

And everything is stunted and lost

And nothing really rocks, and nothing really rolls,

And nothing's ever worth the cost

Well I know that I'm damned if I never get out,

And maybe I'm damned if I do,

But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,

You know I want to be damned with you

If I gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned

Dancing through the night with you/

Well if I gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned,

Gotta be damned, you know I want to be damned

Dancing through the night,

Dancing through the night with you

Oh, baby you're the only thing in this whole world

That's pure and good and right

And wherever you are and wherever you go

There's always gonna be some light,

But I gotta get out, I gotta break out now

Before the final crack of dawn

So we gotta make the most of our one night together

When it's over, you know,

We'll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

When the night is over, like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone

Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes

But when the day is done

And the sun goes down

And the moonlight's shining through

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

Then like a sinner before the gates of Heaven

I'll come crawling on back to you

Well I can see myself tearing up the road, faster

Than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw, but my soul is ripe,

And no one's gonna stop me now, I'm gonna make my escape

But I can't stop thinking of you,

And I never see the sudden curve until it's way too late

Then I'm down in the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun,

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike,

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart, still beating,

Breaking out of my body and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Then I'm down in the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun,

Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike,

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell

And the last thing I see is my heart,

Still beating still beating

Breaking out of my body, and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

Oh, like a bat out of hell

Oh, like a bat out of hell (I'll be gone when the morning comes)

Oh, like a bat out of hell

I sang every word of that

So did I. Badly I may add but it was fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mars beats snickers every time

No it doesn't.

En-garde

Lol you’re in dangerous territory now

Would a physical exchange decide on a winner?

Those fluttering eyelids have me weak at the knees already, between that and your being so large its an unfair advantage"

I think you’d manage to talk me around to whatever your intentions were with all your enticing utterances dropping form those luscious lips

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight?

Lasagne for dinner and brownies for dessert.

Mongolian beef tomorrow. chicken and ham pie on friday"

I need to get that beef recipe off you as well

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By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight?

Lasagne for dinner and brownies for dessert.

Mongolian beef tomorrow. chicken and ham pie on friday

I need to get that beef recipe off you as well

I will send that on to you this evening. have ya slow cooker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

tHis is A VEry seriouS tEXt WIth ouT Hidden MEaning

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight?

Lasagne for dinner and brownies for dessert.

Mongolian beef tomorrow. chicken and ham pie on friday"

Looks like I picked the wrong day to drive to Waterford ...love to try Mongolian beef ..must look it up

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By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight?

Lasagne for dinner and brownies for dessert.

Mongolian beef tomorrow. chicken and ham pie on friday

Looks like I picked the wrong day to drive to Waterford ...love to try Mongolian beef ..must look it up "

its yum BM. The meat out of the slow cooker is so tender. and my kids ate it and they picky af so it must good lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you know where you are?

You are at the door of dreams...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That'll do pig that'll do..

Been dying to use that on a thread..

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

If you want to know where you are in the queue to get the vaccination in the republic of Ireland

https://www.omnicalculator.com/health/ireland-vaccine-queue#app

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight?

Lasagne for dinner and brownies for dessert.

Mongolian beef tomorrow. chicken and ham pie on friday

I need to get that beef recipe off you as well

I will send that on to you this evening. have ya slow cooker"

I do indeed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I close my eyes

And see you before me

Think I would die

If you were to ignore me

A fool could see

Just how much I adore you

I'd get down on my knees

I'd do anything for you

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Exposition

Luke Skywalker is a farm boy on the desert planet Tatooine who hopes to one day become a star pilot and study at the Imperial Academy.

Inciting Incident

Princess Leia, a young political diplomat, plants a distress call on an R2-D2 droid unit, who she then sends in an escape pod to Tatooine before being captured by the villainous Darth Vader.

Plot Point One

On Tatooine, Luke discovers the R2 unit and hears the distress call from Leia calling out for help from Obi-Wan Kenobi. Luke asks his Uncle Owen if Obi-Wan might be related to an old hermit named Ben Kenobi, which greatly unsettles him.

Rising Action

Luke finds Ben Kenobi, who reveals that he is actually the great Jedi Knight Obi-Wan and has been in hiding since the Clone Wars. Obi-Wan asks for Luke’s help in rescuing Leia. Luke doesn’t want to abandon his Aunt and Uncle, so he’s hesitant to agree to this proposal.

Midpoint

Luke returns to his homestead to discover that his family was slaughtered by Imperial troops. He vows to dedicate his life to that of a Jedi and to become as powerful as his father, Anakin Skywalker—a former pupil of Obi-Wan’s.

Plot Point Two

Obi-Wan and Luke hire smuggler Han-Solo to fly them to the planet Alderaan so that they can free Leia. Meanwhile, on the weaponized ship known as the Death Star, Darth Vader orders the destruction of Alderaan.

Build Up

Han’s ship, the Millennium Falcon, is caught in a tractor beam and trapped within the Death Star. Luke and Han rescue Leia, while Obi-Wan confronts Darth Vader, who kills him in mortal combat.

Climax

Luke, Han, Leia, and Chewbacca escape from the Death Star and return to the rebel base of Yavin where they plan an all-out assault.

Finale

The Rebel Alliance attacks the Empire in a galactic dog-fight. While piloting an X-Wing, Luke uses the Force to fire a laser shot into the Death Star exhaust port, which causes the entire station to go up in flames.

Denouement

Luke, Han and Chewbacca are honored at a large ceremony and given medallions by Leia for aiding the Rebel Alliance in the destruction of the Death Star.

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By *inaandterryCouple over a year ago

Westmeath

Once you have tasted posh ground coffee instant taste like shit...

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By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"Meh! Cake is overrrated.

What you cooking tonight?

Lasagne for dinner and brownies for dessert.

Mongolian beef tomorrow. chicken and ham pie on friday

I need to get that beef recipe off you as well

I will send that on to you this evening. have ya slow cooker

I do indeed. "

I send it on to ya when i get the sprogs to bed

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By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"tHis is A VEry seriouS tEXt WIth ouT Hidden MEaning

If you insist madam

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the K Team"

Damn right

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think if they legalised prostitution in Ireland the government should have a public program for sexual education on the flesh, available in colleges and public health services.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Once you have tasted posh ground coffee instant taste like shit... "

This is a very true statement

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Once you have tasted posh ground coffee instant taste like shit... "

What does it taste like compared to the ones you buy in a shop or garage...love latte

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team"

I love it when a plan comes together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I close my eyes

And see you before me

Think I would die

If you were to ignore me

A fool could see

Just how much I adore you

I'd get down on my knees

I'd do anything for you"

Practising for St. Valentines one month beforehand?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pinky, once I take over the world, remind me to publicly snub you."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Has anyone considered the implications of both the Pandemic and Brexit on the everyday Turnip farmer?!?

Surely prices will have to increase for those importing and exporting Turnips to and from the UK.

As for Covid, with reduced and restricted employee numbers, what are production numbers like?

This is really troubling the Manbeast!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Pinky, once I take over the world, remind me to publicly snub you.""

PINKY

Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?

THE BRAIN

The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world

They're Pinky and The Brain

Yes, Pinky and The Brain

One is a genius

The other's insane.

They're laboratory mice

Their genes have been spliced

They're dinky

They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Brain.

Before each night is done

Their plan will be unfurled

By the dawning of the sun

They'll take over the world.

They're Pinky and The Brain…

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Once you have tasted posh ground coffee instant taste like shit...

What does it taste like compared to the ones you buy in a shop or garage...love latte "

The ones in the garage are shocking BP

Watered down scutter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I close my eyes

And see you before me

Think I would die

If you were to ignore me

A fool could see

Just how much I adore you

I'd get down on my knees

I'd do anything for you

Practising for St. Valentines one month beforehand?

Not quiet.. but i do enjoy valentines day

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Studies suggest that those who drink their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.

Those who order a quad shot non fat vanilla soy extra foam light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

""Pinky, once I take over the world, remind me to publicly snub you.""

Brain would never say that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eralt80Man over a year ago

cork

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team"

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"tHis is A VEry seriouS tEXt WIth ouT Hidden MEaning

If you insist madam

You got it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

A player is in an offside position if:

any part of the head, body or feet is in the opponents’ half (excluding the halfway line) and

any part of the head, body or feet is nearer to the opponents’ goal line than both the ball and the second-last opponent

The hands and arms of all players, including the goalkeepers, are not considered.

A player is not in an offside position if level with the:

second-last opponent or

last two opponents

Offside offence

A player in an offside position at the moment the ball is played or touched* by a team-mate is only penalised on becoming involved in active play by:

interfering with play by playing or touching a ball passed or touched by a team-mate or

interfering with an opponent by:

preventing an opponent from playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s line of vision or

challenging an opponent for the ball or

clearly attempting to play a ball which is close when this action impacts on an opponent or

making an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball

*The first point of contact of the 'play' or 'touch' of the ball should be used

gaining an advantage by playing the ball or interfering with an opponent when it has:

rebounded or been deflected off the goalpost, crossbar or an opponent

been deliberately saved by any opponent

A player in an offside position receiving the ball from an opponent who deliberately plays the ball, including by deliberate handball, is not considered to have gained an advantage, unless it was a deliberate save by any opponent.

A ‘save’ is when a player stops, or attempts to stop, a ball which is going into or very close to the goal with any part of the body except the hands/arms (unless the goalkeeper within the penalty area).

In situations where:

a player moving from, or standing in, an offside position is in the way of an opponent and interferes with the movement of the opponent towards the ball this is an offside offence if it impacts on the ability of the opponent to play or challenge for the ball; if the player moves into the way of an opponent and impedes the opponent's progress (e.g blocks the opponent) the offence should be penalised under Law 12

a player in an offisde position is moving towards the ball with the intention of playing the ball and is fouled before playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the foul is penalised as it has occurred before the offside offence

an offence is committed against a player in an offside position who is already playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the offside offence is penalised as it has occurred before the foul challenge

No offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

a goal kick

a throw-in

a corner kick

Offences and sanctions

If an offside offence occurs, the referee awards an indirect free kick where the offence occurred, including if it is in the player’s own half of the field of play.

A defending player who leaves the field of play without the referee’s permission shall be considered to be on the goal line or touchline for the purposes of offside until the next stoppage in play or until the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area. If the player left the field of play deliberately, the player must be cautioned when the ball is next out of play.

An attacking player may step or stay off the field of play not to be involved in active play. If the player re-enters from the goal line and becomes involved in play before the next stoppage in play, or the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area, the player shall be considered to be positioned on the goal line for the purposes of offside. A player who deliberately leaves the field of play and re-enters without the referee’s permission and is not penalised for offside and gains an advantage, must be cautioned.

If an attacking player remains stationary between the goalposts and inside the goal as the ball enters the goal, a goal must be awarded unless the player commits an offside offence or Law 12 offence in which case play is restarted with an indirect or direct free kick

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Try singing along to that one!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Once you have tasted posh ground coffee instant taste like shit...

What does it taste like compared to the ones you buy in a shop or garage...love latte

The ones in the garage are shocking BP

Watered down scutter

Love frank and honest latte...do the machines do latte

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Try singing along to that one!"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Try singing along to that one!"

We need VAR

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Try singing along to that one!"

I fell asleep after 2 lines

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whats the story with that Trump fella?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

There was a young man known as Mick

Who had quite a beautiful dick

If it ever fell off the lads would just scoff

But the ladies would surely be sick.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"tHis is A VEry seriouS tEXt WIth ouT Hidden MEaning

If you insist madam

You got it

You bet your sweet ass Kaizer got it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness NothingnessNothingnessNothingness

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whats the story with that Trump fella?"

Never heard of him

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Once you have tasted posh ground coffee instant taste like shit...

What does it taste like compared to the ones you buy in a shop or garage...love latte

The ones in the garage are shocking BP

Watered down scutter

Love frank and honest latte...do the machines do latte"

Which machines?

Like Terminator?

Imagine the T1000 serving you a nice hazelnut latte

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At what age do men truly enjoy being annoying?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Whats the story with that Trump fella?

Never heard of him

According to a wise man in Laaaaish the J stands for Genius

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"At what age do men truly enjoy being annoying?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Whiteboards are remarkable

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

I'd be pissed if I were a kidney stone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Whiteboards are remarkable"

Blackboards matter too RB

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

What do trolls eat and why does everyone keep feeding them?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Enter sandman moscow 91..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"Enter sandman moscow 91.. "

Enter sandman, Toyahs kitchen 21.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Enter sandman moscow 91.. "

No Metallica references please!

They are shite

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do trolls eat and why does everyone keep feeding them? "

Trolls like to eat tyres and hate Christians

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

KDB just won a pen

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Raheen Sterling missed it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex"

Sounds like the roadrunner finally got some

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Sounds like the roadrunner finally got some

Are the beeps covering up expletive words?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal. "

Is that because you got lost on the way

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Did you know Carlo Ancelotti is also a highly regarded Professor of infectious diseases?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sexual Chocolate

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain "

Sterling blazed it over

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Did you know Carlo Ancelotti is also a highly regarded Professor of infectious diseases?

As are some of the people in the virus thread

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Did you know Carlo Ancelotti is also a highly regarded Professor of infectious diseases?

As are some of the people in the virus thread "

Maybe one of them is actually Carlo!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Say what you want about decimals but they do have a point.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

Is that because you got lost on the way

I do not get lost

That often

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A player is in an offside position if:

any part of the head, body or feet is in the opponents’ half (excluding the halfway line) and

any part of the head, body or feet is nearer to the opponents’ goal line than both the ball and the second-last opponent

The hands and arms of all players, including the goalkeepers, are not considered.

A player is not in an offside position if level with the:

second-last opponent or

last two opponents

Offside offence

A player in an offside position at the moment the ball is played or touched* by a team-mate is only penalised on becoming involved in active play by:

interfering with play by playing or touching a ball passed or touched by a team-mate or

interfering with an opponent by:

preventing an opponent from playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s line of vision or

challenging an opponent for the ball or

clearly attempting to play a ball which is close when this action impacts on an opponent or

making an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball

*The first point of contact of the 'play' or 'touch' of the ball should be used

gaining an advantage by playing the ball or interfering with an opponent when it has:

rebounded or been deflected off the goalpost, crossbar or an opponent

been deliberately saved by any opponent

In situations where:

No offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

a goal kick

a throw-in

a corner kick

Offences and sanctions

If an offside offence occurs, the referee awards an indirect free kick where the offence occurred, including if it is in the player’s own half of the field of play.

Excellent im adding this to my random book of things i have no interest in but might need to pretend I know about for the right fella

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain

Sterling blazed it over

The ball kicked by Raheem Sterling for the penalty has been fined for breaking COVID travel restrictions, having just landed in Birmingham.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

Is that because you got lost on the way

I do not get lost

That often

I'd say

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain

Sterling blazed it over

The ball kicked by Raheem Sterling for the penalty has been fined for breaking COVID travel restrictions, having just landed in Birmingham."

Ugh football is such shit. Overpaid drama queen "players"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain

Sterling blazed it over

The ball kicked by Raheem Sterling for the penalty has been fined for breaking COVID travel restrictions, having just landed in Birmingham."

Why did Kevin not take it?

Sterling is a shite finisher

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain

Sterling blazed it over

The ball kicked by Raheem Sterling for the penalty has been fined for breaking COVID travel restrictions, having just landed in Birmingham.

Ugh football is such shit. Overpaid drama queen "players""

Shut your goddam mouth

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eralt80Man over a year ago

cork

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain

Sterling blazed it over

The ball kicked by Raheem Sterling for the penalty has been fined for breaking COVID travel restrictions, having just landed in Birmingham.

Ugh football is such shit. Overpaid drama queen "players"

Shut your goddam mouth

Feckin make me Kaizer. Truth and all that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

You were moved into the friends list obvs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eralt80Man over a year ago

cork

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

You were moved into the friends list obvs

Well there you go then

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

You were moved into the friends list obvs

Well there you go then

My ring tone is the a team

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

Is that because you got lost on the way

I do not get lost

That often

I'd say"

I have only been lost once

That I know of

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eralt80Man over a year ago

cork

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

You were moved into the friends list obvs

Well there you go then

My ring tone is the a team"

That explains a lot

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"KDB just won a pen

Captain ...my captain

Sterling blazed it over

The ball kicked by Raheem Sterling for the penalty has been fined for breaking COVID travel restrictions, having just landed in Birmingham.

Ugh football is such shit. Overpaid drama queen "players"

Shut your goddam mouth

Feckin make me Kaizer. Truth and all that "

Football is amazing

You're opinion is of little consequence iko

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

You were moved into the friends list obvs

Well there you go then

My ring tone is the a team

That explains a lot "

You've got the makings of a Templeton Peck about you Ger

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eralt80Man over a year ago

cork

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

You were moved into the friends list obvs

Well there you go then

My ring tone is the a team

That explains a lot

You've got the makings of a Templeton Peck about you Ger

At least I’m not a Murdock

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison

by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire the A Team

Ye might have to go back on my hotlist after this comment

You mean you took me off it

I’m not on yours either

You were moved into the friends list obvs

Well there you go then

My ring tone is the a team

That explains a lot

You've got the makings of a Templeton Peck about you Ger

At least I’m not a Murdock "

You'd need a helicopter

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why did Kevin not take it?

Sterling is a shite finisher

One of these days Pep's gonna owe me a new TV

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Random rant thread, yep. OK I see a thread ranting on and is just killing me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why did Kevin not take it?

Sterling is a shite finisher

One of these days Pep's gonna owe me a new TV

At least they got the W but Raheem is a disaster

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Why did Kevin not take it?

Sterling is a shite finisher

One of these days Pep's gonna owe me a new TV

At least they got the W but Raheem is a disaster

Leeds v Southampton cancelled next gameweek

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal. "

First and third counties are advised. Middle one is avoid

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why did Kevin not take it?

Sterling is a shite finisher

One of these days Pep's gonna owe me a new TV

At least they got the W but Raheem is a disaster

Leeds v Southampton cancelled next gameweek "

Why?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

First and third counties are advised. Middle one is avoid

Leitrim isn't a real place!

It's like Mordor or Oz... Its made up man!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"Why did Kevin not take it?

Sterling is a shite finisher

One of these days Pep's gonna owe me a new TV

At least they got the W but Raheem is a disaster

Leeds v Southampton cancelled next gameweek

Why?

Clashes with Southampton's game with Shrewsbury

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

First and third counties are advised. Middle one is avoid

Leitrim isn't a real place!

It's like Mordor or Oz... Its made up man!

Shut your goddam mouth, beast!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why did Kevin not take it?

Sterling is a shite finisher

One of these days Pep's gonna owe me a new TV

At least they got the W but Raheem is a disaster

Leeds v Southampton cancelled next gameweek

Why?

Clashes with Southampton's game with Shrewsbury"

Well fuck Kaizer's face and call him baby!!

Completely messes up the plans

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

First and third counties are advised. Middle one is avoid

Leitrim isn't a real place!

It's like Mordor or Oz... Its made up man!

Shut your goddam mouth, beast!

Speak of an ass and he's sure to pass.... Wind!

You shut your goddam mouth Micky Mac

Leitrim isn't a place.... It's a state of mind

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done. "

Is that not a haiku?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done. "

It's a blunderbuss

And looks very suss

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done.

Is that not a haiku? "

That is most definitely not a haiku

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never been to Leitrim Tyrone or Donegal.

First and third counties are advised. Middle one is avoid

Leitrim isn't a real place!

It's like Mordor or Oz... Its made up man!

It is. It’s where all the grants are hidden away

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done.

Is that not a haiku?

That is most definitely not a haiku

Is that the dance the all blacks do

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rmrs1234Couple over a year ago

Waterford

"Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done.

Is that not a haiku?

That is most definitely not a haiku

Is that the dance the all blacks do "

Hakaaaaaaaa

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

Do BMW drivers not get shown how to use the indicators when they buy the car

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do BMW drivers not get shown how to use the indicators when they buy the car "

You pay extra for them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was checking my handbag for painkillers and just noticed the sneaky condoms I've hidden in my bag have a use by date of June 21 wth

Oh and I've no painkillers fml

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex"

“Stand clear. Luggage doors operate”.

Risky public transport hanky panky is it?

Masks to be worn at all times

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"I was checking my handbag for painkillers and just noticed the sneaky condoms I've hidden in my bag have a use by date of June 21 wth

Oh and I've no painkillers fml"

Oh go on then, you've twisted my arm ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I was checking my handbag for painkillers and just noticed the sneaky condoms I've hidden in my bag have a use by date of June 21 wth

Oh and I've no painkillers fml

Oh go on then, you've twisted my arm ??"

Now I need more painkillers as I just fell of my chair

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Fore da next aff our or so, Kaizer is gonna reed and rite every fink in a Cockney accent

Awight gezza

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done.

Is that not a haiku?

That is most definitely not a haiku

Is that the dance the all blacks do "

Oi don't be racist you fackin wanka

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"tHis is A VEry seriouS tEXt WIth ouT Hidden MEaning

Yes please!!!

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Our Michael writes poetry for fun

And his penis is shaped like a gun

The barrel gets hot

And it measures a lot

Then it fires a big load when it's done.

Is that not a haiku?

That is most definitely not a haiku

Is that the dance the all blacks do

Oi don't be racist you fackin wanka

GET OUT OF MY PUB

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Impeachment it is then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ermmm I forgot what I was going to say.....

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Using the claim that you have the covid vaccine to try and get meets is pretty sad and lies mostly as well

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"Using the claim that you have the covid vaccine to try and get meets is pretty sad and lies mostly as well

Did you get a card to prove you got it Bo

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Using the claim that you have the covid vaccine to try and get meets is pretty sad and lies mostly as well

Did you get a card to prove you got it Bo "

Just one saying what type the batch and the date and my name. We were told to keep it safe.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"I was checking my handbag for painkillers and just noticed the sneaky condoms I've hidden in my bag have a use by date of June 21 wth

Oh and I've no painkillers fml

Oh go on then, you've twisted my arm ??

Now I need more painkillers as I just fell of my chair

An ould rub of the relic and you'll be grand!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Beep sex Beep sex Beep sex

Sounds like the roadrunner finally got some

Are the beeps covering up expletive words? "

something else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift away from each other 3

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are we there yet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are we there yet "

Nearly

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"Are we there yet "

Do you still require a rub of the relic?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift away from each other 3"

my favourite derailment so far...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are we there yet

Do you still require a rub of the relic?

That's an awful way to talk about yourself, your not that old

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"Are we there yet

Do you still require a rub of the relic?

That's an awful way to talk about yourself, your not that old

G'wan ya divil ya and stop playing hard to get!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are we there yet

Do you still require a rub of the relic?

I have my mask and gloves ready

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are we there yet

Do you still require a rub of the relic?

That's an awful way to talk about yourself, your not that old

G'wan ya divil ya and stop playing hard to get!

Who, me? Never

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"Are we there yet

Do you still require a rub of the relic?

That's an awful way to talk about yourself, your not that old

G'wan ya divil ya and stop playing hard to get!

Who, me? Never

Jaysus, me mammy was right after all. I am going blind!

Good to hear that you're not playing hard to get though!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cats have 5 toes on the front but only 4 on their back legs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The middle of the rose on a box of Cadbury 'Roses' has the Cadbury "C"

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

What's white and could kill you if it fell out if a tree on you?

A fridge.

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By *antra MassageMan over a year ago

South Side.

"I think if they legalised prostitution in Ireland the government should have a public program for sexual education on the flesh, available in colleges and public health services.

I'd like to volunteer as the male model.

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

If a couple and a single person have a hotel meet and the bill is €120

Should it be split €60 / €60 or €80 / €40

Just trying to finish this out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a couple and a single person have a hotel meet and the bill is €120

Should it be split €60 / €60 or €80 / €40

Just trying to finish this out

Half and half

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By *og-ManMan over a year ago

somewhere

"If a couple and a single person have a hotel meet and the bill is €120

Should it be split €60 / €60 or €80 / €40

Just trying to finish this out

Half and half "

Sure you might as well go last

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a couple and a single person have a hotel meet and the bill is €120

Should it be split €60 / €60 or €80 / €40

Just trying to finish this out

Half and half

Sure you might as well go last "

Woohoo even though my thunder was stolen last time

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Are we done yet?

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