 |
By *ohnFK OP Man
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually .
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end ( ..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?  |
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By *uanpacMan
over a year ago
Cork/Limerick/Dublin |
I have a top tip..you may not go for it..but my man garden is spotless from it..  basically you have to lose one of your balls ..its much easier to work monoball..I shove it to the left, I shave the right and vice versa..still requires some decent hand eye co ordination but never fails..my gooch cooper is smooth as fuck now..hope this finds you well..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dunno if this helps in anyway-
But what I find works for me is using the 1 blade instead of the 0 blade on the shaver.
Now it's awkward and leaves the slightest bit of stubble, but you dont risk cutting the balls off yourself |
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"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions? "
If you need a spare pair of hands you only gotta ask  |
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By *ohnFK OP Man
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"I have a top tip..you may not go for it..but my man garden is spotless from it.. basically you have to lose one of your balls ..its much easier to work monoball..I shove it to the left, I shave the right and vice versa..still requires some decent hand eye co ordination but never fails..my gooch cooper is smooth as fuck now..hope this finds you well.. "
Not only is this a useful suggestion, I roared laughing at your 'gooch cooper' description.
That has made my day!!! Brilliant. |
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By *ohnFK OP Man
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions? If you need a spare pair of hands you only gotta ask "
Well, this has all gone better than expected  |
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"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions? If you need a spare pair of hands you only gotta ask
Well, this has all gone better than expected "
 |
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By *ohnFK OP Man
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions? If you need a spare pair of hands you only gotta ask
Well, this has all gone better than expected "
I would just need a quick peek at your 'level 3 ball shaving' certificate & the gig is yours! |
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"Anyone ever tried immac?
I don't have balls but I have used Nair / hair removal cream on my undercarriage and it's been fine HOWEVER not everyone I know has been as lucky  "
Cheers, good to know. I'll tell my friend! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions? "
Wax it off |
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"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off "
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth) 
That might help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions? "
I feel ya, it is life & death situation everytime i manscape. Got a few nicks in the same place u mentioned & nothing stings more than a cut down there!
There is a new shaving tool on the market, havent used it but seen it advertised on a few websites now. I’ll drop the link below
https://eu.balls.co/products/balls-electric-trimmer
|
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By *ohnFK OP Man
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth)
That might help "
I am both alarmed and excited |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth)
That might help "
I enjoy the response from hearing them waxed more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This has given me enormous entertainment. OP I have never a will never shave a ball sack, but if its any consolation to you I find shaving my pussy absolutely terrifying and it never gets easier or less scary. I usually have a little j beforehand to calm myself. Not sure if it helps but any excuse really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth)
That might help
I am both alarmed and excited "
Nothing to be alarmed about at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone ever tried immac? "
Possibly read my favourite ever Amazon review before putting hair removal cream on your balls.....
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "
Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...
So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :- |
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"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth)
That might help
I enjoy the response from hearing them waxed more. "
Yeowch!!
You’re just pure evil!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth)
That might help
I enjoy the response from hearing them waxed more.
Yeowch!!
You’re just pure evil!! "
Only when I put my heart into it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone ever tried immac?
Possibly read my favourite ever Amazon review before putting hair removal cream on your balls.....
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "
Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...
So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-"
Shiver me timbers
That brings a tear to Kaizer's eye |
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By *ohnFK OP Man
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth)
That might help
I enjoy the response from hearing them waxed more. "
To be honest I don't think I would have 'the balls' for this 
Especially after!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions?
Wax it off
Maybe some helpful lady could volunteer to pluck them pubes out (with her teeth)
That might help
I enjoy the response from hearing them waxed more.
To be honest I don't think I would have 'the balls' for this
Especially after!!"
You never know till you try it..  |
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By *ffit101Man
over a year ago
Cork and West Cork |
"So I was doing my regular tidy-up 'down there' Today, and I was just thinking how annoyingly awkward this is!?
It is really tricky to shave one's balls.
Especially that saggy bit underneath close to the shaft - That bit could never be a complete hair free zone, could it?
Maybe the beard trimmer is not the appropriate tool for the job?- don't think I could risk the shaving gel with a mach 3 turbo
Maybe it's better to be...(ahem)..'excited'..so there's less saggy skin hanging round - just thought of that as I write this actually.
Ok, I do secretly like applying the nivea moisturiser at the end (..feels nice and cool) , but by in large I have to admit I find the whole task precarious & difficult!!
Would anyone any top tips or suggestions? "
I shave mine with my mach 3 and shaving gel. It was the best advice I ever got after explaining to a friend about the burn from hair removal cream (very very uncomfortable).
I make sure there is always a layer of shaving gel before dragging the blade over the skin, and as it's a safety blade it won't cut the skin unless you drag it sideways.
Lather - shave - lather - shave, until smooth - Rinse - pat dry - apply coconut oil. |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
Pre-shower. Hunker down. Adjust to the 1 blade rather than 0.
Around the balls first. Up the shaft next, very carefully. Then to finish, up over the cock and gradually out away from the skin so it blends into the 'oul treasure trail.
That's my tried a trusted routine anyway and this is also a reminder I'm due a tidy up soon... |
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"Pre-shower. Hunker down. Adjust to the 1 blade rather than 0.
Around the balls first. Up the shaft next, very carefully. Then to finish, up over the cock and gradually out away from the skin so it blends into the 'oul treasure trail.
That's my tried a trusted routine anyway and this is also a reminder I'm due a tidy up soon..."
Blending is V important |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"Pre-shower. Hunker down. Adjust to the 1 blade rather than 0.
Around the balls first. Up the shaft next, very carefully. Then to finish, up over the cock and gradually out away from the skin so it blends into the 'oul treasure trail.
That's my tried a trusted routine anyway and this is also a reminder I'm due a tidy up soon..."
Up over the cock |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
"Pre-shower. Hunker down. Adjust to the 1 blade rather than 0.
Around the balls first. Up the shaft next, very carefully. Then to finish, up over the cock and gradually out away from the skin so it blends into the 'oul treasure trail.
That's my tried a trusted routine anyway and this is also a reminder I'm due a tidy up soon...
Up over the cock "
I'm not very good with words - above is what I meant! Your pubes, heading up bellybutton direction  |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
"Pre-shower. Hunker down. Adjust to the 1 blade rather than 0.
Around the balls first. Up the shaft next, very carefully. Then to finish, up over the cock and gradually out away from the skin so it blends into the 'oul treasure trail.
That's my tried a trusted routine anyway and this is also a reminder I'm due a tidy up soon...
Blending is V important "
It did take me several goes of stubble to immediate clump of hair to realise |
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By *oserMan
over a year ago
where the wild roses grow |
"Question - do ye get all lovely and hard when you're in the shower lathering yourselves up? "
Yes, intentionally as it helps with the process by stretching the skin a tad more.
Still fooking scary stuff tho, nothing worse than lather changing colour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Question - do ye get all lovely and hard when you're in the shower lathering yourselves up?
Yes, intentionally as it helps with the process by stretching the skin a tad more.
Still fooking scary stuff tho, nothing worse than lather changing colour "
I mean... That is an image I could happily sit and envisage alllllllll day long. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Question - do ye get all lovely and hard when you're in the shower lathering yourselves up?
Yes, intentionally as it helps with the process by stretching the skin a tad more.
Still fooking scary stuff tho, nothing worse than lather changing colour
I mean... That is an image I could happily sit and envisage alllllllll day long. "
Not the lather changing colour!!!
The man in the shower stroking a big hard susdy dick  |
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By *ohnFK OP Man
over a year ago
Where the Streets Have No Name |
"Anyone ever tried immac?
Possibly read my favourite ever Amazon review before putting hair removal cream on your balls.....
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "
Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...
So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-"
Just reading this now (Much too long to read earlier when I was moisturising)
This
is
wonderful. Olé Rosé xx
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
Yep, the hard-on thing definitely does happen when you lather up and wash off afterwards. It does here anyways. You stand there and admire it for a bit yourself and then get on with the rest of the shower |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, the hard-on thing definitely does happen when you lather up and wash off afterwards. It does here anyways. You stand there and admire it for a bit yourself and then get on with the rest of the shower "
Hahahaha
Christ I wish I was a man! |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
That's premium content now, I'll come back to you when I settle on pricing
(Ah now stop it.. I got a weird mental image of me streaming to the public singing gleefully in the shower freshly manscaped...) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's premium content now, I'll come back to you when I settle on pricing
(Ah now stop it.. I got a weird mental image of me streaming to the public singing gleefully in the shower freshly manscaped...)"
Bog Man will be paying for me. Talk to him! |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
"That's premium content now, I'll come back to you when I settle on pricing
(Ah now stop it.. I got a weird mental image of me streaming to the public singing gleefully in the shower freshly manscaped...)
Bog Man will be paying for me. Talk to him! "
My people will call your people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's premium content now, I'll come back to you when I settle on pricing
(Ah now stop it.. I got a weird mental image of me streaming to the public singing gleefully in the shower freshly manscaped...)
Bog Man will be paying for me. Talk to him!
My people will call your people "
*snort |
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I use a combination of an electric body groomer around the pubes below the belly button and then I use shaving foam and a razor.You need to be careful doing the balls and often need to stretch the skin a little to get a smooth shave.Sometimes depending on the shaving gel,you may get hard when doing it and that actually does help too as it makes it easier to shave the bottom of the shaft. Apply abit of moisturiser afterwards and you will feel fresh and smooth! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use shaving soap, old fashioned shaving brush and this is the important bit - a used razor blade. I use the 5 blade jobby but NOT straight out of the box as that is asking for trouble as yes it is difficult.
On the other hand, there are ladies who take a delight in manscaping |
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