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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago
somewhere |
Genuine question for those on here with more experience than me
If you meet someone and have sex,how do you stop yourself from having feelings for that person afterwards
Do you find it easy to forget them afterwards or is there always something imprinted inside your head
About them
Do you find it easy to just think of it as sex
Not very sure I'm describing this very well as I'm fairly confused to be honest
But sure maybe let me know how you felt afterwards when you first started |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's important to not get caught up in the idea that feelings are somehow weak, or wrong. It's utterly normal and natural that if you like someone and enjoy having sex with them, you will feel something. It doesn't mean that it has to be anything more. I also think people can mistake ego gratification for feelings for another, or become addicted to a high of meeting them, when this is really about oneself and what may be lacking in other areas of life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you have to keep it straight in your head, sex is sex and nothing more.
The problems happen when the lines get blurred, unfortunately there can be some game playing as well, but you are just unlucky if you meet one of them.
R and I met through here so it does happened sometimes.
Not much use am I?
 |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
I found it was basically a learning curve. I struggled when I was first here. But I've learned that it's ok to care about the person as a genuine friend but you know that it won't go any further than that.
It also might help that I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship myself. So it's easier for me to keep the lines clear. |
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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I found it was basically a learning curve. I struggled when I was first here. But I've learned that it's ok to care about the person as a genuine friend but you know that it won't go any further than that.
It also might help that I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship myself. So it's easier for me to keep the lines clear. "
Thanks ...this has explained it better than I did with my stupid head on me today
We've had a conversation about being friends with benefits to be honest but I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found it was basically a learning curve. I struggled when I was first here. But I've learned that it's ok to care about the person as a genuine friend but you know that it won't go any further than that.
It also might help that I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship myself. So it's easier for me to keep the lines clear.
Thanks ...this has explained it better than I did with my stupid head on me today
We've had a conversation about being friends with benefits to be honest but I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what ...."
Nothing wrong with enjoying someone's company, but you absolutely have to be on the same page.. Because its a dangerous wee game |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found it was basically a learning curve. I struggled when I was first here. But I've learned that it's ok to care about the person as a genuine friend but you know that it won't go any further than that.
It also might help that I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship myself. So it's easier for me to keep the lines clear.
Thanks ...this has explained it better than I did with my stupid head on me today
We've had a conversation about being friends with benefits to be honest but I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what ...."
I'm not much of a believer in fwb to be honest. People are deluding themselves that it's not a relationship and it's almost inevitable that someone will get hurt. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I found it was basically a learning curve. I struggled when I was first here. But I've learned that it's ok to care about the person as a genuine friend but you know that it won't go any further than that.
It also might help that I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship myself. So it's easier for me to keep the lines clear.
Thanks ...this has explained it better than I did with my stupid head on me today
We've had a conversation about being friends with benefits to be honest but I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what ...."
I think you have to like the person you are meeting and getbon with them. For me it's not about just the sex with anyone. But you also have to be on the same page with each other and know where the lines are. If you are both on the same page it's fine. It's only if the line gets crossed that it becomes an issue.
|
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
"I found it was basically a learning curve. I struggled when I was first here. But I've learned that it's ok to care about the person as a genuine friend but you know that it won't go any further than that.
It also might help that I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship myself. So it's easier for me to keep the lines clear.
Thanks ...this has explained it better than I did with my stupid head on me today
We've had a conversation about being friends with benefits to be honest but I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what ...."
Only you can know if you're on dangerous ground and none of us can tell you whats right for you.
I think it might depend on how often you're meeting up. I have friends that I can do all that stuff with but we don't meet regular enough for it to get too serious. |
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"I found it was basically a learning curve. I struggled when I was first here. But I've learned that it's ok to care about the person as a genuine friend but you know that it won't go any further than that.
It also might help that I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship myself. So it's easier for me to keep the lines clear.
Thanks ...this has explained it better than I did with my stupid head on me today
We've had a conversation about being friends with benefits to be honest but I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what ....
I think you have to like the person you are meeting and getbon with them. For me it's not about just the sex with anyone. But you also have to be on the same page with each other and know where the lines are. If you are both on the same page it's fine. It's only if the line gets crossed that it becomes an issue.
"
And being upfront and honest about what you both want also helps but there's no specific blueprint as everyone is different. |
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Fwb definitely leads to feelings. Been there and dont want to repeat
In my opinion the site is about meeting new people and enjoying the swinging side. I notice a lot of profiles dont like that, but we are all here to enjoy the sex. Ofherwise just sign up to tinder |
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"We're only human at the end of the day. Even I have feelings lol. I've lost a good friend over feelings 
Just one? You are doing well so"
aww ive lost a few friends on my time on here. This lady was a real close friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what ...."
I mean tbh..... thats pretty much a relationship no matter what tag you put on it (or avoid putting on it).
You can be a couple without losing fab from your wold.. plenty couples here.
As for what is or isn't normal you nailed it....WHO GIVES A FUCK |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're only human at the end of the day. Even I have feelings lol. I've lost a good friend over feelings
Just one? You are doing well soaww ive lost a few friends on my time on here. This lady was a real close friend "
Ah well, you win some, you lose some I guess.
Of course it always depends on how it was handled at the end doesn't it really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I'm enjoying the bits outside the bed just as much as inside the bed
I mean we've gone to pubs,restaurants,Hotels walks on beaches and that's the bit that I'm confused about
Whats normal or not normal or who gives a fuck whats what ....
I mean tbh..... thats pretty much a relationship no matter what tag you put on it (or avoid putting on it).
You can be a couple without losing fab from your wold.. plenty couples here.
As for what is or isn't normal you nailed it....WHO GIVES A FUCK"
Bingo, whatever works for you, as long as nobody gets hurt.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very much so as I say we're only human even I get things wrong.
Lol.. That's a first I know!! I'm in as big a shock as you are "
Ahh well if you set the ego aside, get on your knees and beg forgiveness she made decide life is too short to fight.
Who knows |
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"Very much so as I say we're only human even I get things wrong.
Lol.. That's a first I know!! I'm in as big a shock as you are
Ahh well if you set the ego aside, get on your knees and beg forgiveness she made decide life is too short to fight.
Who knows "
lol I'm on my knees feckin dropped a pound |
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"Genuine question for those on here with more experience than me
If you meet someone and have sex,how do you stop yourself from having feelings for that person afterwards
Do you find it easy to forget them afterwards or is there always something imprinted inside your head
About them
Do you find it easy to just think of it as sex
Not very sure I'm describing this very well as I'm fairly confused to be honest
But sure maybe let me know how you felt afterwards when you first started "
Just tell yourself this is only a bit of fun nothing else.. No feelings needed.. It works  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very much so as I say we're only human even I get things wrong.
Lol.. That's a first I know!! I'm in as big a shock as you are
Ahh well if you set the ego aside, get on your knees and beg forgiveness she made decide life is too short to fight.
Who knows lol I'm on my knees feckin dropped a pound "
Bahahaha, sure you never know what you might find |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
"More of an issue for singles then couples i think...
Couples have more to lose from developing weelings for people outside their relationship/marriage"
Absolutely true a lot more to lose ..but less likely to happen |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
No interest in relationships so I'm good at keeping it no strings. Having said that, I do like the intimate moments around the sex, ie. being able to just lie there after it all holding each other and talking, laughing or maybe even just laying in silence basking in the joy of sharing time with someone.
Just because it's no strings doesn't mean there can't be affection.
Well that's my experience anyway. |
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By *og-Man OP Man
over a year ago
somewhere |
"No interest in relationships so I'm good at keeping it no strings. Having said that, I do like the intimate moments around the sex, ie. being able to just lie there after it all holding each other and talking, laughing or maybe even just laying in silence basking in the joy of sharing time with someone.
Just because it's no strings doesn't mean there can't be affection.
Well that's my experience anyway."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No interest in relationships so I'm good at keeping it no strings. Having said that, I do like the intimate moments around the sex, ie. being able to just lie there after it all holding each other and talking, laughing or maybe even just laying in silence basking in the joy of sharing time with someone.
Just because it's no strings doesn't mean there can't be affection.
Well that's my experience anyway."
Can only echo this!
I was crazy lucky to find a couple who I'd consider two of my best friends on here and that level of connection always led to incredibly intimate encounters as well as just being comfortable laying there after! |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
"No interest in relationships so I'm good at keeping it no strings. Having said that, I do like the intimate moments around the sex, ie. being able to just lie there after it all holding each other and talking, laughing or maybe even just laying in silence basking in the joy of sharing time with someone.
Just because it's no strings doesn't mean there can't be affection.
Well that's my experience anyway."
Totally agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No interest in relationships so I'm good at keeping it no strings. Having said that, I do like the intimate moments around the sex, ie. being able to just lie there after it all holding each other and talking, laughing or maybe even just laying in silence basking in the joy of sharing time with someone.
Just because it's no strings doesn't mean there can't be affection.
Well that's my experience anyway.
Can only echo this!
I was crazy lucky to find a couple who I'd consider two of my best friends on here and that level of connection always led to incredibly intimate encounters as well as just being comfortable laying there after! "
That's not the same though as going on "dates" with people. We enjoy this type of intimacy too, doesn't mean we're going to the cinema or out for dinner with them every couple of weeks. |
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