FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > The elephant in the room
The elephant in the room
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OK folks September 1st marks the start of mental health month and id just like to address the elephant in the room that is mental health. Can I just say if any of you are struggling with mental health depression suicidal thoughts please reach out to a Dr a close friend or sometimes a total stranger is easier to talk to so regardless of your profile couple female male trans or sexual orientation if u ever want to chat at a time your struggling please reach out to me in fab kik or whatsapp or snapchat. Online, fab in particular you will see people posting the hot pics and the status not sure whether to renew or not these people are probably not short of interest and probably most definitely sniff their own farts and the after aroma of their own sense of entitlement. Trust me these people are caught up in the online craving of acceptance want to stay relevant and want everyone to think that they have their shit together truthfully they don't. And are nowhere near as happy as they proclaim to be online. Everything is all for likes acceptance acknowledgement and they operate in their little cliques of entitlement or "friends" lunch with this one. Yawn its fake its false and its the underlying craving of wanting to be liked wanting to be accepted and acknowledged by peers. Does a gambler ever tell you what they lose ? Does the person who left your work tell you their new job is terrible when it is? In fab or whatever realm. People get cocky after a few meets and verifications and all the attention goes to their head like power. They become over familiar. But what can often be overseen is the impact your behaviour can have on another person. Yes it takes balls to send a message sometimes and balls again to send a face pic. Rejection is not nice in any walk of life. But whilst fab is an overwhelming sausage fest no doubt for couples and females. Its not really difficult to be kind. Remove yourself from the ego that precedes you and just be kind but more importantly don't forget that person made an effort to approach you regardless if your type or not. What you do in fab you wouldn't do face to face. Copy and paste a dear John let them down gently but just be kind and more importantly be yourself dance like nobodys watching we are all unique and different in looks shape and size etc but our attitude towards others is something we can all influence. Rant over. Its ok not to be ok |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"telling people to be kind and mind their attitudes while simultaneously shitting on other people. yep positive message right there"
care to elaborate or just summarising today ? Didnt shit on anyone certainly wasn't my attention to take away from the message intended
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" Online, fab in particular you will see people posting the hot pics and the status not sure whether to renew or not these people are probably not short of interest and probably most definitely sniff their own farts and the after aroma of their own sense of entitlement. Trust me these people are caught up in the online craving of acceptance want to stay relevant and want everyone to think that they have their shit together truthfully they don't. And are nowhere near as happy as they proclaim to be online. Everything is all for likes acceptance acknowledgement and they operate in their little cliques of entitlement or "friends" lunch with this one. Yawn its fake its false and its the underlying craving of wanting to be liked wanting to be accepted and acknowledged by peers. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nice of you to elaborate only giving my experiences are you telling me these people don't exist ? Id beg to differ but your missing the point that why they are like that but thanks for your input your entitled to it just like me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Online, fab in particular you will see people posting the hot pics and the status not sure whether to renew or not these people are probably not short of interest and probably most definitely sniff their own farts and the after aroma of their own sense of entitlement. Trust me these people are caught up in the online craving of acceptance want to stay relevant and want everyone to think that they have their shit together truthfully they don't. And are nowhere near as happy as they proclaim to be online. Everything is all for likes acceptance acknowledgement and they operate in their little cliques of entitlement or "friends" lunch with this one. Yawn its fake its false and its the underlying craving of wanting to be liked wanting to be accepted and acknowledged by peers.
"
wouldnt say its shitting on people though |
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By *ashy85Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
" Online, fab in particular you will see people posting the hot pics and the status not sure whether to renew or not these people are probably not short of interest and probably most definitely sniff their own farts and the after aroma of their own sense of entitlement. Trust me these people are caught up in the online craving of acceptance want to stay relevant and want everyone to think that they have their shit together truthfully they don't. And are nowhere near as happy as they proclaim to be online. Everything is all for likes acceptance acknowledgement and they operate in their little cliques of entitlement or "friends" lunch with this one. Yawn its fake its false and its the underlying craving of wanting to be liked wanting to be accepted and acknowledged by peers.
wouldnt say its shitting on people though"
I'd like to read what they think instead of copy and paste |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"telling people to be kind and mind their attitudes while simultaneously shitting on other people. yep positive message right there"
Yeah... Bit of an odd one... 
Am sure your message was meant to be a positive one OP, maybe try and maintain a positive slant throughout?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never said they dont exist and more often than not these people often have underlying self esteem issues and/or mental health issues themselves"
your totally right nothing wrong with a confidence or self esteem boost
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"telling people to be kind and mind their attitudes while simultaneously shitting on other people. yep positive message right there
Yeah... Bit of an odd one...
Am sure your message was meant to be a positive one OP, maybe try and maintain a positive slant throughout? "
was certainly intended as a positive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never said they dont exist and more often than not these people often have underlying self esteem issues and/or mental health issues themselves
Isn't that what the man was saying? "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"telling people to be kind and mind their attitudes while simultaneously shitting on other people. yep positive message right there "
again certainly wasn't intended that way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up. "
not putting anyone down pointing out behaviours or people masking or pretending they are something or feeling something when they are far from it. Coming out and admitting your suffering is deemed as a weakness especially in men. Im just pointing out the traits
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"not putting anyone down pointing out behaviours or people masking or pretending they are something or feeling something when they are far from it. Coming out and admitting your suffering is deemed as a weakness especially in men. Im just pointing out the traits"
Hi OP,
Once again let me start by saying I'm sure your intentions were pure and without malice... That said, it's not your place to intimate that someone is using a "mask" or that in your view that somone is "suffering", nor is it up to you to comment on anyone's traits as you see them.
I absolutely acknowledge your good intentions but perhaps you could be more open to some friendly and constructive criticism. As has been pointed out, your choice of language and tone comes across as belittling and sour and it has the effect of running contrary to the positive message you seem keen to promote.
If I might make an observation myself? Try and focus on the positive aspects of your message and ignore any language which could be viewed as negative or bitter.
I am certain your post was intended to be an uplifting one, sometimes though our method of communication can use a little refinement.  
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP started out well and I think hopefully he has genuine good intentions - but he did kind of completely fuck it up with the majority of the post sniping at those who are perceived to be hot and arrogant.
I think it’s only himself who can really truly tell what his motivations are. But yes, a post telling people to look after their mental health has no place in it for lashing out at people he perceives to be narcissistic and may hint at underlying grievances of his own.
I’d say he’s correct that there are people who are very self centred and attention seeking in this site much like anywhere in life. And as some other poster pointed out, there’s a good chance that lots of these types do have underlying confidence or other mental health issues. So it would be counter productive to single them out as being the people that are causing others to have mental health struggles.
In summary, I think if we want to be positive about encouraging people to talk about their difficulties we shouldn’t in the same message be inflammatory to others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP started out well and I think hopefully he has genuine good intentions - but he did kind of completely fuck it up with the majority of the post sniping at those who are perceived to be hot and arrogant.
I think it’s only himself who can really truly tell what his motivations are. But yes, a post telling people to look after their mental health has no place in it for lashing out at people he perceives to be narcissistic and may hint at underlying grievances of his own.
I’d say he’s correct that there are people who are very self centred and attention seeking in this site much like anywhere in life. And as some other poster pointed out, there’s a good chance that lots of these types do have underlying confidence or other mental health issues. So it would be counter productive to single them out as being the people that are causing others to have mental health struggles.
In summary, I think if we want to be positive about encouraging people to talk about their difficulties we shouldn’t in the same message be inflammatory to others "
Put far more eloquently than I ever could! |
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By *andytownMan
over a year ago
Gods Own Country |
"I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up. "
This is spot on... Terrible use of language for a mental health post.
Being shouting detracts from the message... Anyway...
It's good to talk and many of us are here to chat anytime folks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up.
This is spot on... Terrible use of language for a mental health post.
Being shouting detracts from the message... Anyway...
It's good to talk and many of us are here to chat anytime folks "
in other news _andytown disagrees with me again. Message was simple and still is if your having issues its best to talk about it |
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By *andytownMan
over a year ago
Gods Own Country |
"I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up.
This is spot on... Terrible use of language for a mental health post.
Being shouting detracts from the message... Anyway...
It's good to talk and many of us are here to chat anytime folks in other news _andytown disagrees with me again. Message was simple and still is if your having issues its best to talk about it "
Please try and not get personal, especially in a post of this nature, stay positive lad |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up.
This is spot on... Terrible use of language for a mental health post.
Being shouting detracts from the message... Anyway...
It's good to talk and many of us are here to chat anytime folks in other news _andytown disagrees with me again. Message was simple and still is if your having issues its best to talk about it
Please try and not get personal, especially in a post of this nature, stay positive lad "
wouldnt be the 1st we have disagreed on here but your right stay positive wee son |
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By *andytownMan
over a year ago
Gods Own Country |
"I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up.
This is spot on... Terrible use of language for a mental health post.
Being shouting detracts from the message... Anyway...
It's good to talk and many of us are here to chat anytime folks in other news _andytown disagrees with me again. Message was simple and still is if your having issues its best to talk about it
Please try and not get personal, especially in a post of this nature, stay positive lad wouldnt be the 1st we have disagreed on here but your right stay positive wee son"
  wee son
Another put down on an issue like this, deary me hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think OP, whilst the intentions of your post may be good, the tone and language used comes across as less than kind and does give the impression of putting some down in order to lift others up.
This is spot on... Terrible use of language for a mental health post.
Being shouting detracts from the message... Anyway...
It's good to talk and many of us are here to chat anytime folks in other news _andytown disagrees with me again. Message was simple and still is if your having issues its best to talk about it
Please try and not get personal, especially in a post of this nature, stay positive lad wouldnt be the 1st we have disagreed on here but your right stay positive wee son
wee son
Another put down on an issue like this, deary me hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. "
hows that a put down total belfastism if u wanna talk in dm feel free as I said here for anyone who's struggling x |
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Randytown and hughheff I know both of you and you may disagree with each other but have known you both for a few yrs and both are very kind caring and thoughtful gentlemen and very alike so be kind to each other lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Randytown and hughheff I know both of you and you may disagree with each other but have known you both for a few yrs and both are very kind caring and thoughtful gentlemen and very alike so be kind to each other lol "
sorry mum lol zxxxxx |
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By *andytownMan
over a year ago
Gods Own Country |
"Randytown and hughheff I know both of you and you may disagree with each other but have known you both for a few yrs and both are very kind caring and thoughtful gentlemen and very alike so be kind to each other lol "
Bite me  |
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"Randytown and hughheff I know both of you and you may disagree with each other but have known you both for a few yrs and both are very kind caring and thoughtful gentlemen and very alike so be kind to each other lol
Bite me "
Anytime |
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"Randytown and hughheff I know both of you and you may disagree with each other but have known you both for a few yrs and both are very kind caring and thoughtful gentlemen and very alike so be kind to each other lol sorry mum lol zxxxxx"
Less of the mum I'm not that old |
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