FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > The curiously of being bi-(curious)
The curiously of being bi-(curious)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a relatively new couple here, we’ve noticed that amongst a high proportion of couples (and even singles), that there is a substantially higher number of women than men who are bi or even bi curious. Now I’m sure this has been chatted about multiple times here so apologies in advance for asking again haha!!
I wonder what causes this phenomenon as on average it shouldn’t be surprising that a similar amount of men and women would be interested in the same sex as themselves.
Is it:
- that more women on this site are bi and this is just a skewed sample?
- that men aren’t admitting to be bi or curious in their profiles but in private messages are - and if this is the case why do they do this? Fear of being seen as bi? Fear or lots of women or couples rejecting them?
- is there a stigma still on men being bi and not on women? Is it seen as sexy to be a bi woman but strange or not sexy or something to be seen as a bi guy?
- that some women are being pressured into being bi by their guys in the relationship and being pressured into MFF threesomes etc?
Or is it that I am wrong and that women are potentially more bi in general than men?
M is bi curious in our relationship in that he has only briefly and mildly played with one guy before but is interested in seeing how far his urges could take him. At the same time he would be perfectly happy and respectful to any guy in a couple we would potentially play with who was completely straight.
Be great to hear all your thoughts on it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Okay , it's a weird one for me. I'm into traps if your familiar with the term? Very feminine guys basically. Often dress so too.
I don't like masc guys or guy guys, not for me at all. But I don't mind if a woman's involved, and the focus is on her.
I wouldn't rule anything out either, I'm young and why should I? I have had mfm experiences and enjoyed it so don't see why I'd rule it out.
So by having bicurious on my profile would be the safest bet. Not exactly gay, or straight. Just a little in between till I find out for sure. Probably the most honest answer I can give right now till I explore and have more experiences, which I'm always open to trying.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Okay , it's a weird one for me. I'm into traps if your familiar with the term? Very feminine guys basically. Often dress so too.
I don't like masc guys or guy guys, not for me at all. But I don't mind if a woman's involved, and the focus is on her.
I wouldn't rule anything out either, I'm young and why should I? I have had mfm experiences and enjoyed it so don't see why I'd rule it out.
So by having bicurious on my profile would be the safest bet. Not exactly gay, or straight. Just a little in between till I find out for sure. Probably the most honest answer I can give right now till I explore and have more experiences, which I'm always open to trying. "
Great honest in depth answer thanks. Never heard that term before so it’s a new one for me (M)!
A friend who is gay and went through a bi phase is of the notion that no one is all straight or all gay and that it’s a continuum. I think that idea carries a lot of merit. A lot of things in this world are on a continuous rather than a binary scale and maybe making stuff binary makes things more relatable for lots of people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks for that
Ya, I'd definitely agree. I never had the thought till I stumbled across some stuff and thought "Hey, this ain't bad" lol
Then through a few mfms and being with some cute trans gals I realised I'd be willing to try alot more. So I definitely agree, never know till you try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a tv i like to meet fellow femine xdressers smooth fully dressed and makeup that is just me i would class myself as bi now some people would say if you're bi you must like men as i said only people who xdress that i will meet for now lol |
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By *ol_ieMan
over a year ago
Dublin west |
When you have to put wide sweeping terms onto people there will always be a lot of grey areas.
Labels should be left for jars and not put on people.
I think generally people are more experimental in here or have opportunity that they may not have outside the scene.
Behind the label everyone is unique and there are not enough labels to sum them all up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you have to put wide sweeping terms onto people there will always be a lot of grey areas.
Labels should be left for jars and not put on people.
I think generally people are more experimental in here or have opportunity that they may not have outside the scene.
Behind the label everyone is unique and there are not enough labels to sum them all up. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally agree with above poster. Labelling yourself puts you in a position where you feel stuck to certain rules and really what being a swinger is is all about freedom to try and do whatever comes to your own mind and at the time when you feel like you want to do it |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
In a world where people can happily self identify as whatever they want, why is there such doubt about the adult straight men self identifying as straight.
There are straight men who never had an urge to play or have a sexual experience with another man and there are straight men who have experimented sexually with other men only to confirm their sexual preference.
Surely we can trust the grown men, on an anonymous website covering a taboo subject, when they express their sexual identity/ preference. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"In a world where people can happily self identify as whatever they want, why is there such doubt about the adult straight men self identifying as straight.
There are straight men who never had an urge to play or have a sexual experience with another man and there are straight men who have experimented sexually with other men only to confirm their sexual preference.
Surely we can trust the grown men, on an anonymous website covering a taboo subject, when they express their sexual identity/ preference."
Except for the little thing called fab straight.
I'm bi curious on my profile...every day without fail I get men who identify as straight asking me to meet.
Some of them have on their profiles " guys fuck off and stop asking me for sex " and then ask me for a blow job.
A few months ago a thread blew up with the same subject....a few men got thick with someone for suggesting there's such a thing as fab straight
....they came back to 2 of the men asking why they has asked to meet for sex so .....
Bottom line for me there are men who like women...there's men that like men and there's men that like both
Who really cares as long as respect is shown to everyone |
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By *1CorkCouple
over a year ago
Cork |
"In a world where people can happily self identify as whatever they want, why is there such doubt about the adult straight men self identifying as straight.
There are straight men who never had an urge to play or have a sexual experience with another man and there are straight men who have experimented sexually with other men only to confirm their sexual preference.
Surely we can trust the grown men, on an anonymous website covering a taboo subject, when they express their sexual identity/ preference.
Except for the little thing called fab straight.
I'm bi curious on my profile...every day without fail I get men who identify as straight asking me to meet.
Some of them have on their profiles " guys fuck off and stop asking me for sex " and then ask me for a blow job.
A few months ago a thread blew up with the same subject....a few men got thick with someone for suggesting there's such a thing as fab straight
....they came back to 2 of the men asking why they has asked to meet for sex so .....
Bottom line for me there are men who like women...there's men that like men and there's men that like both
Who really cares as long as respect is shown to everyone "
A double life to their double life. I believe coward, idiot or a psychic deficiency (Freudian school) is the only label for those engaged in such needless duplicity, particularly when accompanied by the aggression you’ve experienced. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a world where people can happily self identify as whatever they want, why is there such doubt about the adult straight men self identifying as straight.
There are straight men who never had an urge to play or have a sexual experience with another man and there are straight men who have experimented sexually with other men only to confirm their sexual preference.
Surely we can trust the grown men, on an anonymous website covering a taboo subject, when they express their sexual identity/ preference.
Except for the little thing called fab straight.
I'm bi curious on my profile...every day without fail I get men who identify as straight asking me to meet.
Some of them have on their profiles " guys fuck off and stop asking me for sex " and then ask me for a blow job.
A few months ago a thread blew up with the same subject....a few men got thick with someone for suggesting there's such a thing as fab straight
....they came back to 2 of the men asking why they has asked to meet for sex so .....
Bottom line for me there are men who like women...there's men that like men and there's men that like both
Who really cares as long as respect is shown to everyone "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I joined Fab I was very much straight but like a lot of girls here I was like spaghetti straight until wet. Fab changed me to bisexual. I think it was looking at all the smoking hot strong confident ladies that turned me or maybe it was because it gave me a outlet to explore where I never had before. Anyway I am very grateful I get to explore all the different sides of my sexuality. |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
Fab isn't just an anonymous sex site though. Its a site where for most the goal is to meet others for sexual encounters. With a lot of cpls, a bi fem is a plus or at the very least no big deal as in others have no issue meeting if fem is bi.
It doesn't impact negatively on their chances of meeting.
Unfortunately, even in this day and age the same doesn't apply if the male of the cpl or single is bi, fact is for a lot of cpls they choose not to meet bi males. I think thats why guys dont display it on their profile |
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By *iver80Man
over a year ago
south side , |
Alot of interesting points made by all , i posted i was bi curious , i wouldnt call myself gay or to much straight , i enjoy meeting couples who are open minded i thinks why we are here to explore and its alot easier to be yourself on this site , i enjoy the whole focus on the woman and seen what limits and fantasies id like to full fill . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The op post and all the replies above are brilliant. So heart lifting to read such open-minded, sensible thoughts.
Couldn't agree more about sexuality as a continuum. The question has a different feel to it if you say 'can you' instead of 'are you'. So not are you bi, straight etc, but 'can you' enjoy being with women and men? |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"Alot of interesting points made by all , i posted i was bi curious , i wouldnt call myself gay or to much straight , i enjoy meeting couples who are open minded i thinks why we are here to explore and its alot easier to be yourself on this site , i enjoy the whole focus on the woman and seen what limits and fantasies id like to full fill ."
I dont think open minded equals is the same as sexually open to other genders. We're a very open minded cpl, love all the different aspects of swinging that exist along side us in the lifestyle but Mr is a straight man, that doesn't mean he is not open minded, more understands his attractions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for that
Ya, I'd definitely agree. I never had the thought till I stumbled across some stuff and thought "Hey, this ain't bad" lol
Then through a few mfms and being with some cute trans gals I realised I'd be willing to try alot more. So I definitely agree, never know till you try "
Reminds me of another related topic....it seems MFF is more common than MFM/MMF. I wonder are the reasons similar or is some of it insecurity on guy’s parts/jealousy? |
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By *NawtyCplCouple
over a year ago
Around and about |
"Thanks for that
Ya, I'd definitely agree. I never had the thought till I stumbled across some stuff and thought "Hey, this ain't bad" lol
Then through a few mfms and being with some cute trans gals I realised I'd be willing to try alot more. So I definitely agree, never know till you try
Reminds me of another related topic....it seems MFF is more common than MFM/MMF. I wonder are the reasons similar or is some of it insecurity on guy’s parts/jealousy? "
A mfm dosnt require either m to be bi. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Labels should be left for jars and not put on people.
"
Ha that’s a good one and I agree. Ye people are more daring here than “real life” which is why I wonder why lots of guys have straight on their profiles but message privately about playing with the Male half of us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Labels should be left for jars and not put on people.
Ha that’s a good one and I agree. Ye people are more daring here than “real life” which is why I wonder why lots of guys have straight on their profiles but message privately about playing with the Male half of us "
Haha! Just this minute had a message from a guy saying he is curious, but his profile expressly says "no interest in guys"
Labels for jars totally! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In a world where people can happily self identify as whatever they want, why is there such doubt about the adult straight men self identifying as straight.
There are straight men who never had an urge to play or have a sexual experience with another man and there are straight men who have experimented sexually with other men only to confirm their sexual preference.
Surely we can trust the grown men, on an anonymous website covering a taboo subject, when they express their sexual identity/ preference."
I agree it would be great if we could trust grown men to put down the label closely representing their sexual identity hahaha ... seems quite a few can’t manage it unfortunately lol
But I do agree that a lot of straight men here are being “straight up” about their leanings which is great. I guess I wish men didn’t feel the need to conform (especially on a liberating website ha)
Beautiful profile by the way ... very nice photos x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In a world where people can happily self identify as whatever they want, why is there such doubt about the adult straight men self identifying as straight.
There are straight men who never had an urge to play or have a sexual experience with another man and there are straight men who have experimented sexually with other men only to confirm their sexual preference.
Surely we can trust the grown men, on an anonymous website covering a taboo subject, when they express their sexual identity/ preference.
Except for the little thing called fab straight.
I'm bi curious on my profile...every day without fail I get men who identify as straight asking me to meet.
Some of them have on their profiles " guys fuck off and stop asking me for sex " and then ask me for a blow job.
A few months ago a thread blew up with the same subject....a few men got thick with someone for suggesting there's such a thing as fab straight
....they came back to 2 of the men asking why they has asked to meet for sex so .....
Bottom line for me there are men who like women...there's men that like men and there's men that like both
Who really cares as long as respect is shown to everyone "
Completely agree and I would add that there are men who are looking to test out if they like men - either simply to play with or for more deeper reasons.
We prefer people who are more transparent about their desires. It speaks to a more trustworthy profile. People messaging us showing different leanings to their bio will get zero respect or attention from us as they have given none themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's one of my long time riddles and still without clear answer, neither I think you will find one) Although it's nice and entertaining idea for discussion ( not fighting over and blocking) ))
The main reason in my opinion( again....calm down people it's just an opinion,that means,down the road I may change it. Happened before will happen again)
Big part because of society and living environment, surrounding,media etc. We want that or not it affects us,makes us who we are and how we behave and act. We are all tribal in nature.
For ages that's how we all lived. After while things become new normal and vice versa.
Back in a day for Greek philosophers and scholars was normal to have young boys as "friends" aka "interims". Can you imagine same scenario today....WTF!
Can you imagine Catholic child in Muslim family or vice versa. You or me had no chance to choose what god to believe, because of influence and environment around us. Nothing wrong with that, it's just how we all grow up ,what we learn etc. Later in life you may like to change. Look at Sinead O'Connor. Once again nothing wrong with that ...well done.
In fairness I grow up in environment where "man with man" was unimaginable act to think about. Not my proudest moment ,but myself personally call them fagots and freaks and I was homophobic.( In a stupid teenage way slagging and making fun of )
Note: not going to apologise for that.That was me then and that was my reality. Now days I enjoy bi MMF a lot. If you wish you can take that as my an apology.
Even then back in school without any sexual experience I "knew" that two girls kissing is something "cool".How did I come up to that conclusion???) Girl with girl "cool" Guy with guy "disgusting".Was 14-15ish at that time. Any idea who draw that picture in my mind....The answer is My growing environment, friends, behavior of society etc.
It's another, one of thousands, just more complex social rule.
Lots females love oral and anal.Yes?
I don't have medical degree but pretty much sure that female and male mouth or hand or anus more less are the same. So....what part of the body makes all that different in receiving pleasure for male and female if using the same "channels".(for lack of better word)
On top of that if you would do double blind Placebo trials the result would be staggering accurate.Guys will have no clue to female or male they puting dicks in.
Imagine wife gives bj for me at the begining of the evening. What happens if straight husband and his Mrs start passionately kising after that? He is kissing "area" where my cock was moment ago .Will she have to wash her mouth and lips or wait certain amount of time or will he suddenly become someone different or bi or gay...and husband is not straight anymore? In away he is now kissing my cock. Just the act itself and intention behind that looks different.
Once again it maybe stupid comparison,but that's just my thoughts of ex homophobic)
I didn't have life changing injury or dramatic event that change my view .Didn't happen overnight either. 10 years ago all start slowly shifting....
I have no any attraction to the guys what's so ever, never look at the guy and start dreaming of me and him in action. At most would be: He is handsome or similar.....that's it end of thought.
It's another of my stupid examples but here we go:
I love driving and occasionally on the motorway I brake the road traffic rule and push over the speed limit.That doesn't make me a racing driver and nothing changes about me. Same way I love sex and sometimes I push over the limit of society rules and like to enjoy bi MMF. It doesn't make me become atractive to guys.Not even slightly, the same way I didn't become racing drive. Done it... had fun ...get over it...move on.
That's my weird thought.
Another big factor, once again partly comes from society approval or disapproval. Ask any girl and probably majority will say that guys biggest dream is to have MFF. So over the years, down the line, not forcefully,but slowly, that idea eventually getting into girls mind))
Can't be that 70% females on fab is Bi because of genetic. Have to be some other factors too. Yes, the purpose of website is kink so you may say it's what attracts such users. But I think in general, outside swingers dating websites still way more common to hear Bi females. It may sound insane but
I think it's could be as much as 50/50.)) Just because females more open and society accepts them more positively especially guys. Where guys is majority are "undercover".So if all would go on plain open field it coukd be 50/50. KEEP IN MIND It's Not a fact just an opinion.
Oh boy I signed my crucification contract...
Please don't PM me with rage. Even if you find my opinion stupid or you think you smarter then me .I'm not arguing ,yes you maybe smarter. I'm not scholar or writing paper on this matter))
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I joined Fab I was very much straight but like a lot of girls here I was like spaghetti straight until wet. Fab changed me to bisexual. I think it was looking at all the smoking hot strong confident ladies that turned me or maybe it was because it gave me a outlet to explore where I never had before. Anyway I am very grateful I get to explore all the different sides of my sexuality. "
Thanks for that. That’s another interesting angle to hear and a new one for me. Fair play. It’s interesting you never felt like that before joining. Do you think you’re bisexual only in terms of play or also possibly in terms of deeper attraction for possible relationships- ie not simply to play?
M here - for me it’s more figuring out what turns me on in play time. I’m not attracted to men in the relationship/conventional sense |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fab isn't just an anonymous sex site though. Its a site where for most the goal is to meet others for sexual encounters. With a lot of cpls, a bi fem is a plus or at the very least no big deal as in others have no issue meeting if fem is bi.
It doesn't impact negatively on their chances of meeting.
Unfortunately, even in this day and age the same doesn't apply if the male of the cpl or single is bi, fact is for a lot of cpls they choose not to meet bi males. I think thats why guys dont display it on their profile "
Why do you think couple choose not to meet bi guys or couples with bi guys though? For me this is the deeper question?
Are some women in relationships being put under pressure to fuck other women while the guy won’t let her have her merry way with adding another guy? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Alot of interesting points made by all , i posted i was bi curious , i wouldnt call myself gay or to much straight , i enjoy meeting couples who are open minded i thinks why we are here to explore and its alot easier to be yourself on this site , i enjoy the whole focus on the woman and seen what limits and fantasies id like to full fill ."
Thanks for your honesty - both here and on your profile! |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
If have to agree with the insecurity of some men for a few reasons
I've never seen a profile telling bi women to feck off or say I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole as couples say to bi men.
I've never seen a woman make a big fuss on their profile about not accepting messages from bi women
I'm a bloke....we're not meant to be insecure (I am) we're meant to be macho (I'm not )so admitting to being bi goes against everything that you learn growing up.
Lastly as far as I can see most women and couples are not interested in bi men but it took me till last week to realise that 99.99 % of the people on here are not interested in me no matter what I indentify as but there's always the .01% that will.(keeps me going thinking that )
Bi doesn't define me but being a decent person does
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The op post and all the replies above are brilliant. So heart lifting to read such open-minded, sensible thoughts.
Couldn't agree more about sexuality as a continuum. The question has a different feel to it if you say 'can you' instead of 'are you'. So not are you bi, straight etc, but 'can you' enjoy being with women and men? "
Thanks for the vote of appreciation.
Also maybe an even better phrase would be “in certain scenarios, MIGHT you enjoy some sexual/sensual interactions with another man/woman”
They’re only bodies after all - not trying to shake straight men here just in case you wonder. If you have figured out you have zero interest then all the more power to you.
I think lots of men wouldn’t mind trying stuff if they allowed themselves to fully think about it with no fear of judgement attached. Society can judge men harshly too (although this is poss still due to men judging ha) |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
There's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious, not with bisexual. I think peeps who are considering themselves as bisexual are happy in their skin and with their sexuality.
Imo it's mainly two issues that are reflected in the much higher percentage of bi-curious women to bi-curious men:
A lot of 'couple'-women are pretend bi-curious because it's sexy and trendy/do it for their partner
There's a stigma to bi men, it's considered as un-manly and there's the prejudice that all gay and bi men are std riddled.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Haha! Just this minute had a message from a guy saying he is curious, but his profile expressly says "no interest in guys"
Labels for jars totally!"
Haha the perfect irony in the timing of it. “No interest” except when he’s horny and wanking lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"That's one of my long time riddles and still without clear answer, neither I think you will find one) Although it's nice and entertaining idea for discussion ( not fighting over and blocking) ))
The main reason in my opinion( again....calm down people it's just an opinion,that means,down the road I may change it. Happened before will happen again)
Big part because of society and living environment, surrounding,media etc. We want that or not it affects us,makes us who we are and how we behave and act. We are all tribal in nature.
For ages that's how we all lived. After while things become new normal and vice versa.
Back in a day for Greek philosophers and scholars was normal to have young boys as "friends" aka "interims". Can you imagine same scenario today....WTF!
Can you imagine Catholic child in Muslim family or vice versa. You or me had no chance to choose what god to believe, because of influence and environment around us. Nothing wrong with that, it's just how we all grow up ,what we learn etc. Later in life you may like to change. Look at Sinead O'Connor. Once again nothing wrong with that ...well done.
In fairness I grow up in environment where "man with man" was unimaginable act to think about. Not my proudest moment ,but myself personally call them fagots and freaks and I was homophobic.( In a stupid teenage way slagging and making fun of )
Note: not going to apologise for that.That was me then and that was my reality. Now days I enjoy bi MMF a lot. If you wish you can take that as my an apology.
Even then back in school without any sexual experience I "knew" that two girls kissing is something "cool".How did I come up to that conclusion???) Girl with girl "cool" Guy with guy "disgusting".Was 14-15ish at that time. Any idea who draw that picture in my mind....The answer is My growing environment, friends, behavior of society etc.
It's another, one of thousands, just more complex social rule.
Lots females love oral and anal.Yes?
I don't have medical degree but pretty much sure that female and male mouth or hand or anus more less are the same. So....what part of the body makes all that different in receiving pleasure for male and female if using the same "channels".(for lack of better word)
On top of that if you would do double blind Placebo trials the result would be staggering accurate.Guys will have no clue to female or male they puting dicks in.
Imagine wife gives bj for me at the begining of the evening. What happens if straight husband and his Mrs start passionately kising after that? He is kissing "area" where my cock was moment ago .Will she have to wash her mouth and lips or wait certain amount of time or will he suddenly become someone different or bi or gay...and husband is not straight anymore? In away he is now kissing my cock. Just the act itself and intention behind that looks different.
Once again it maybe stupid comparison,but that's just my thoughts of ex homophobic)
I didn't have life changing injury or dramatic event that change my view .Didn't happen overnight either. 10 years ago all start slowly shifting....
I have no any attraction to the guys what's so ever, never look at the guy and start dreaming of me and him in action. At most would be: He is handsome or similar.....that's it end of thought.
It's another of my stupid examples but here we go:
I love driving and occasionally on the motorway I brake the road traffic rule and push over the speed limit.That doesn't make me a racing driver and nothing changes about me. Same way I love sex and sometimes I push over the limit of society rules and like to enjoy bi MMF. It doesn't make me become atractive to guys.Not even slightly, the same way I didn't become racing drive. Done it... had fun ...get over it...move on.
That's my weird thought.
Another big factor, once again partly comes from society approval or disapproval. Ask any girl and probably majority will say that guys biggest dream is to have MFF. So over the years, down the line, not forcefully,but slowly, that idea eventually getting into girls mind))
Can't be that 70% females on fab is Bi because of genetic. Have to be some other factors too. Yes, the purpose of website is kink so you may say it's what attracts such users. But I think in general, outside swingers dating websites still way more common to hear Bi females. It may sound insane but
I think it's could be as much as 50/50.)) Just because females more open and society accepts them more positively especially guys. Where guys is majority are "undercover".So if all would go on plain open field it coukd be 50/50. KEEP IN MIND It's Not a fact just an opinion.
Oh boy I signed my crucification contract...
Please don't PM me with rage. Even if you find my opinion stupid or you think you smarter then me .I'm not arguing ,yes you maybe smarter. I'm not scholar or writing paper on this matter))
"
Thanks for the massive response! There’s a lot of stuff in there that I agree with. Just stay away from possible pedo talk haha!!
Yes it looks like you e given this a great deal of thought too. And there really should be no discernible reason you should get angry DMs about your thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If have to agree with the insecurity of some men for a few reasons
I've never seen a profile telling bi women to feck off or say I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole as couples say to bi men.
I've never seen a woman make a big fuss on their profile about not accepting messages from bi women
I'm a bloke....we're not meant to be insecure (I am) we're meant to be macho (I'm not )so admitting to being bi goes against everything that you learn growing up.
Lastly as far as I can see most women and couples are not interested in bi men but it took me till last week to realise that 99.99 % of the people on here are not interested in me no matter what I indentify as but there's always the .01% that will.(keeps me going thinking that )
Bi doesn't define me but being a decent person does
"
Great stuff. Lots of male insecurities here yes.
The reason I guess I started the thread was wondering would some couples be turned off us because I’m stating I’m bi curious. And are afraid I’ll try to cross boundaries with a straight Male in a couple?
As if there wouldn’t be an ability on my part to control myself ha?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious, not with bisexual. I think peeps who are considering themselves as bisexual are happy in their skin and with their sexuality.
Imo it's mainly two issues that are reflected in the much higher percentage of bi-curious women to bi-curious men:
A lot of 'couple'-women are pretend bi-curious because it's sexy and trendy/do it for their partner
There's a stigma to bi men, it's considered as un-manly and there's the prejudice that all gay and bi men are std riddled.
"
Perfect answer and well thought out in terms of distinguishing between bi and bi curious. Fair play for that. So basically women pleasing their other half and men being afraid to admit to certain sexual desires could possibly account for a lot of the perceived imbalance on profiles |
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I joined fab's a couple of years ago when I immigrated to Ireland. Bored with the traditional,
I started my path of reading about swinger, , D / s, Dogging, seeking to open my mind. I also did a bdsm test whose result was switch.
In this exploratory stage, I would like to look at diversity to see what I dare to do.
I have also attended a Tranny club where I have met beautiful trans and very good people, until now I have only dared to receive oral, I enjoy when they play with their fingers inside me, while they do it.
Investigating the confusion of the pleasure I received when my butt was stimulated, I read that men's g-spot is there.
I'm curious to be with a woman with a strapon first, then I don't know if I would dare to do something else with a shemale, men don't attract me.
Although in my profile I do not place it since I have not played with my rear part yet.
With regard to labels, we are in the 21st century, respect is paramount.
This website is to express and share with like-minded people.
Have a fabulous day |
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"There's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious, not with bisexual. I think peeps who are considering themselves as bisexual are happy in their skin and with their sexuality.
Imo it's mainly two issues that are reflected in the much higher percentage of bi-curious women to bi-curious men:
A lot of 'couple'-women are pretend bi-curious because it's sexy and trendy/do it for their partner
There's a stigma to bi men, it's considered as un-manly and there's the prejudice that all gay and bi men are std riddled.
"
This message from a "bi-curious" woman: I'm not sure what you mean when you say there's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious. I term myself bi-curious as I have no experience with interacting with women in a sexual manner. Yet I find the female form attractive and sexually appealing. As with men, I would find myself sexually drawn to and interested in some but not others. I have not had the opportunity to engage with a woman in a sexual manner so cannot say for definite that I am bi-sexual. That can only come with experiencing and trying it. But this certainly does not mean that I am not happy in my own skin or with my sexuality, quite on the contrary!
As for men, I have my partner labelled here as bi-curious. I only changed this recently from straight! The reason I had down straight was because of the amount of judgement out there against bi men by both men and women here, who refuse to engage with a bi man. Just because a man identifies as bi doesn't mean that any play with potential partners has to include the males playing together, nor does it mean that if both men are in fact bi that they would even want to.
At the end of the day, even bi men may be into some men but not others!
It definitely is about the people, men and women, who you meet, some you may click and want to interact sexually with, some you may click with but not want to interact sexually with and some are not who you want to deal with at all.
I have decided to put our curiosities on our profile because all I can say is f**k the judgemental opinion of others...he/she/they wouldn't be for us in the first place!
Open mind only, please!!!
Kinky temptress |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
The reason I had down straight was because of the amount of judgement out there against bi men by both men and women here, who refuse to engage with a bi man. Just because a man identifies as bi doesn't mean that any play with potential partners has to include the males playing together, nor does it mean that if both men are in fact bi that they would even want to.
At the end of the day, even bi men may be into some men but not others!
It definitely is about the people, men and women, who you meet, some you may click and want to interact sexually with, some you may click with but not want to interact sexually with and some are not who you want to deal with at all.
I have decided to put our curiosities on our profile because all I can say is f**k the judgemental opinion of others...he/she/they wouldn't be for us in the first place!
Open mind only, please!!!
Kinky temptress"
Thanks for your very in-depth response Kinky!
I had my suspicions of this too and yes it’s sad and disappointing that people judge curious or bi men. As if they have no ability to control themselves. I don’t have any much real experience with a guy so I can’t really say either but I know that with a comfortable and erotic scenario and with some couple I really clicked with I might just say fuck it and go for it if the guy was up for it too (pun intended ha)
I’ve put bi-curious on mine as it’s completely true and the most accurate and I hate to ever portray myself as something I’m not just to be accepted by some unknown majority
Happy to chat to you both as a couple privately if you’d ever like xx |
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Don't know if this has been addressed above or not, but a straight couple like ourselves is in the minority here. Most couples seem to want a couple with a bi-lady, making us not very desirable to many.
But you have hit on something else that we have noticed - some couples have the lady down as bi because he wants to see her play with another lady, but when you ask her about it, she's not bothered at all. |
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"
The reason I had down straight was because of the amount of judgement out there against bi men by both men and women here, who refuse to engage with a bi man. Just because a man identifies as bi doesn't mean that any play with potential partners has to include the males playing together, nor does it mean that if both men are in fact bi that they would even want to.
At the end of the day, even bi men may be into some men but not others!
It definitely is about the people, men and women, who you meet, some you may click and want to interact sexually with, some you may click with but not want to interact sexually with and some are not who you want to deal with at all.
I have decided to put our curiosities on our profile because all I can say is f**k the judgemental opinion of others...he/she/they wouldn't be for us in the first place!
Open mind only, please!!!
Kinky temptress
Thanks for your very in-depth response Kinky!
I had my suspicions of this too and yes it’s sad and disappointing that people judge curious or bi men. As if they have no ability to control themselves. I don’t have any much real experience with a guy so I can’t really say either but I know that with a comfortable and erotic scenario and with some couple I really clicked with I might just say fuck it and go for it if the guy was up for it too (pun intended ha)
I’ve put bi-curious on mine as it’s completely true and the most accurate and I hate to ever portray myself as something I’m not just to be accepted by some unknown majority
Happy to chat to you both as a couple privately if you’d ever like xx "
Always happy to chat ... we're a very sociable couple and it's as much about the chat and banter as it is about potentially meeting for a social with a view to possibly more   ...I'd probably be more chatty on here than himself, more due to time constraints than anything else. And for socials time is unfortunately tighter than we'd like but always happy to connect with like minded people for who knows what and when an opportunity might present itself
Kinky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would be one on the ones that put down straight, but would be somewhat bi curious.
If the opportunity came up I would probably try it and see.
But do believe a lot of women are put of if they see bi curious for a guy compared to a lady.
But that's my perception and I could be way off.
Maybe it's time to update to bi curious |
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"Don't know if this has been addressed above or not, but a straight couple like ourselves is in the minority here. Most couples seem to want a couple with a bi-lady, making us not very desirable to many.
But you have hit on something else that we have noticed - some couples have the lady down as bi because he wants to see her play with another lady, but when you ask her about it, she's not bothered at all."
Interesting observation, and sad too really because that would really mean that those women are in fact pressured or coaxed into something they're actually not really interested in... for the sake of pleasing their other half! 
As for your perceived desirability...I suppose where we are concerned, being bi or curious isn't a requirement as such but a preference as I'd like to explore and experiment due to my own curiosity... ideally we look for open mindedness but if there's a click after a social, we'd be happy to play with a straight couple too... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Don't know if this has been addressed above or not, but a straight couple like ourselves is in the minority here. Most couples seem to want a couple with a bi-lady, making us not very desirable to many.
But you have hit on something else that we have noticed - some couples have the lady down as bi because he wants to see her play with another lady, but when you ask her about it, she's not bothered at all."
I’d well believe it!
It’d be so much more straightforward if people could be more upfront hahah! And we’re not here to give out. In fact we’ve been chatting to various lovely couples and single women and men.
It’s all down to the occasion and connection isn’t it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't know if this has been addressed above or not, but a straight couple like ourselves is in the minority here. Most couples seem to want a couple with a bi-lady, making us not very desirable to many.
"
One of the most annoying things about fab for us is the couples trying to talk me (C) into bi-action with the female half. It's not just single males who are pushy and disrespectful of boundaries |
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"Don't know if this has been addressed above or not, but a straight couple like ourselves is in the minority here. Most couples seem to want a couple with a bi-lady, making us not very desirable to many.
But you have hit on something else that we have noticed - some couples have the lady down as bi because he wants to see her play with another lady, but when you ask her about it, she's not bothered at all.
Interesting observation, and sad too really because that would really mean that those women are in fact pressured or coaxed into something they're actually not really interested in... for the sake of pleasing their other half!
As for your perceived desirability...I suppose where we are concerned, being bi or curious isn't a requirement as such but a preference as I'd like to explore and experiment due to my own curiosity... ideally we look for open mindedness but if there's a click after a social, we'd be happy to play with a straight couple too... "
As another poster above noted, you can be straight as well as open-minded. Maybe you mean open to bi-activity as opposed to open-mindedness? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Always happy to chat ... we're a very sociable couple and it's as much about the chat and banter as it is about potentially meeting for a social with a view to possibly more ...I'd probably be more chatty on here than himself, more due to time constraints than anything else. And for socials time is unfortunately tighter than we'd like but always happy to connect with like minded people for who knows what and when an opportunity might present itself
Kinky"
Great I’ll pm you then sure |
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"Don't know if this has been addressed above or not, but a straight couple like ourselves is in the minority here. Most couples seem to want a couple with a bi-lady, making us not very desirable to many.
But you have hit on something else that we have noticed - some couples have the lady down as bi because he wants to see her play with another lady, but when you ask her about it, she's not bothered at all.
I’d well believe it!
It’d be so much more straightforward if people could be more upfront hahah! And we’re not here to give out. In fact we’ve been chatting to various lovely couples and single women and men.
It’s all down to the occasion and connection isn’t it? "
Yep and why the social meet is so important |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It so god be really disappointing if lots of women in couples were being pressured to be bi or curious to satisfy the urges of their other half.
Also sad that men are pressured by women and men to not leave it clear what their tendencies are. It’s not like for example a gay man wants to hump every straight guy so I don’t see how a guy being curious is gonna hop on top of every lad as part of a couple he interacts with haha!
People with brains and intuition aren’t simply ruled by the dicks!
It’s enjoyable to have this chat tho. Thanks to all who’ve given their thoughts so far |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yep and why the social meet is so important "
Yea I’d say they’re great for getting a feel for people you click with. Would love to get to one
Novice couple here |
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"Don't know if this has been addressed above or not, but a straight couple like ourselves is in the minority here. Most couples seem to want a couple with a bi-lady, making us not very desirable to many.
But you have hit on something else that we have noticed - some couples have the lady down as bi because he wants to see her play with another lady, but when you ask her about it, she's not bothered at all.
Interesting observation, and sad too really because that would really mean that those women are in fact pressured or coaxed into something they're actually not really interested in... for the sake of pleasing their other half!
As for your perceived desirability...I suppose where we are concerned, being bi or curious isn't a requirement as such but a preference as I'd like to explore and experiment due to my own curiosity... ideally we look for open mindedness but if there's a click after a social, we'd be happy to play with a straight couple too...
As another poster above noted, you can be straight as well as open-minded. Maybe you mean open to bi-activity as opposed to open-mindedness?"
Open to bi activity for us would be preferable but not a necessary requirement if a connection can be made through a social...of course I agree that you can have an open mind and be straight! One doesn't exclude the other, it just means that you have your preference and fully identify with it and that deserves and needs to be respected! And I wouldn't see the point in putting anyone in an awkward position if they are not comfortable with sexually interacting with the same gender
Kinky temptress |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aloha people. Kev here. Very interesting and informative post. I think we all are probally in the minority here with our profiles regarding the guy been bi. Most profiles have the female been bi. Look we totally enjoy meeting genuine bi guys for fun. Not the ones that pretend they are, with the promise of the quick fumble with me in order to get down to buisness with fiona. Lol. Suppose we have been lucky that the few guys we met shared us equally.. From looking at other forums it seems some females just love watching their guys getting it on. It should never be frowned upon.. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
when I first joined I hadn't a clue what I was up to being honest
But one thing I decided was to be as honest about myself as possible
I put down bi curious and a few women told me to change it or I would never get anywhere.
To my shame I changed it for a while,I realised that I dont want to have sex with everyone on the site and if I was straight,Bi,bi curious or gay that wouldn'tchange ...After a long time in the winderness with my life in general I just wanted to make some friends and to sorta fit in somewhere I could be comfortable with myself.
I changed it back to bi curious for me and me along and would never ask anyone to be something they are not
You are what you are and either accept me as that and if not move on...your loss
PS it also helps to have amazing role models on here not ashamed of their sexuality |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Really enjoying the open interactions here
Totally about respecting everyone’s boundaries and being non judgemental really isn’t it? And not feeling pressured to do something you don’t want to do or aren’t in the mood to do on any particular occasion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"when I first joined I hadn't a clue what I was up to being honest
But one thing I decided was to be as honest about myself as possible
I put down bi curious and a few women told me to change it or I would never get anywhere.
To my shame I changed it for a while,I realised that I dont want to have sex with everyone on the site and if I was straight,Bi,bi curious or gay that wouldn'tchange ...After a long time in the winderness with my life in general I just wanted to make some friends and to sorta fit in somewhere I could be comfortable with myself.
I changed it back to bi curious for me and me along and would never ask anyone to be something they are not
You are what you are and either accept me as that and if not move on...your loss
PS it also helps to have amazing role models on here not ashamed of their sexuality"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lot of great comments on here. - I also found the courage to be honest on Fab and I’m glad I did. Not all couples like a bi guy but that’s fine - some do |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"when I first joined I hadn't a clue what I was up to being honest
But one thing I decided was to be as honest about myself as possible
I put down bi curious and a few women told me to change it or I would never get anywhere.
To my shame I changed it for a while,I realised that I dont want to have sex with everyone on the site and if I was straight,Bi,bi curious or gay that wouldn'tchange ...After a long time in the winderness with my life in general I just wanted to make some friends and to sorta fit in somewhere I could be comfortable with myself.
I changed it back to bi curious for me and me along and would never ask anyone to be something they are not
You are what you are and either accept me as that and if not move on...your loss
PS it also helps to have amazing role models on here not ashamed of their sexuality"
That’s terrible that those women said that to you really. You’d wonder what motivates them to say it?? What do they get out of advising you to be misrepresenting yourself. As you say, putting yourself down as straight just to get with people who wouldn’t be with you if you were bi or curious wouldn’t be really rewarding anyway. As you’d be with people who essentially don’t like the true you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"when I first joined I hadn't a clue what I was up to being honest
But one thing I decided was to be as honest about myself as possible
I put down bi curious and a few women told me to change it or I would never get anywhere.
To my shame I changed it for a while,I realised that I dont want to have sex with everyone on the site and if I was straight,Bi,bi curious or gay that wouldn'tchange ...After a long time in the winderness with my life in general I just wanted to make some friends and to sorta fit in somewhere I could be comfortable with myself.
I changed it back to bi curious for me and me along and would never ask anyone to be something they are not
You are what you are and either accept me as that and if not move on...your loss
PS it also helps to have amazing role models on here not ashamed of their sexuality"
totally agree there with you bog. It's not easy for us guys to admit what we like.. But so what. It's our desire/choice. I openly admit it and have seen the shock on peeps face. I just add to this. And men may recoil at this. But what is the difference who plays with your cock. Male or female. Very little. Most men would give anything for anal with a woman but would recoil with the thought of it with a man. At the end of the day it's our bodies.. Our choices. Our kinks. And why should anyone judge what is right and what is wrong..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lot of great comments on here. - I also found the courage to be honest on Fab and I’m glad I did. Not all couples like a bi guy but that’s fine - some do "
Most of our friends are bi couples. Im bisexual, my hubby is straight
Exactly, they are just labels and in my opinion if people want to experiment they should have try at least twice
I like bi guys personally and my hubby knew it since beginning that if we decide to meet a single guy he must be bi
Its my preference and my hubby agreed.
|
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"when I first joined I hadn't a clue what I was up to being honest
But one thing I decided was to be as honest about myself as possible
I put down bi curious and a few women told me to change it or I would never get anywhere.
To my shame I changed it for a while,I realised that I dont want to have sex with everyone on the site and if I was straight,Bi,bi curious or gay that wouldn'tchange ...After a long time in the winderness with my life in general I just wanted to make some friends and to sorta fit in somewhere I could be comfortable with myself.
I changed it back to bi curious for me and me along and would never ask anyone to be something they are not
You are what you are and either accept me as that and if not move on...your loss
PS it also helps to have amazing role models on here not ashamed of their sexualitytotally agree there with you bog. It's not easy for us guys to admit what we like.. But so what. It's our desire/choice. I openly admit it and have seen the shock on peeps face. I just add to this. And men may recoil at this. But what is the difference who plays with your cock. Male or female. Very little. Most men would give anything for anal with a woman but would recoil with the thought of it with a man. At the end of the day it's our bodies.. Our choices. Our kinks. And why should anyone judge what is right and what is wrong..
"
Glad you said that....you two are some of the role models I mentioned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well done every body I really enjoyed reading all the posts
For us as a couple it's the kink of it all that we have bi on our profile ,if it turns you on and adds to the spice your only been honest with yourselves
I'm a straight male till one night a mate of ours joined us both let's just say Pandora's box was opened what I had never thought about before blew my mind call it bi , bi curious kink pleasure what ever it was straight fun at its best . hope that kinda makes sense there are genuine people here and then they are not. be safe and hunt slow . No more wine off ta bed |
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"I am curious about pegging, I am not sorry to say it, could this be called curious?
It depends on who's doing the pegging Carlos "
Pegging is done by women, I wouldn't mind if more people watching
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll admit when I joined if a bit guy messaged me I told him I wasn't interested, not sure why. But I guess since joining here I've become more open to who I'd meet, ive chatted with people I never thought I would and I guess realised we all have our kinks, our likes our desires, I never would have looked at bi porn but now think mmf porn is hot as hell. Before I joined here I didn't know what pegging was where now it's on my fantasy list to peg a guy.
Even from my stories I have discovered more about myself.
I guess at end of day there is a person behind the "label" and it's better to get to know them than write them off because of what's on their profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say everyone loves boobies hence more women are open to the idea.....not everyone likes ball bags
Total Bullshit
I’ve no interest in tits or vaginas . Female here
"
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"There's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious, not with bisexual. I think peeps who are considering themselves as bisexual are happy in their skin and with their sexuality.
Imo it's mainly two issues that are reflected in the much higher percentage of bi-curious women to bi-curious men:
A lot of 'couple'-women are pretend bi-curious because it's sexy and trendy/do it for their partner
There's a stigma to bi men, it's considered as un-manly and there's the prejudice that all gay and bi men are std riddled.
This message from a "bi-curious" woman: I'm not sure what you mean when you say there's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious. I term myself bi-curious as I have no experience with interacting with women in a sexual manner. Yet I find the female form attractive and sexually appealing. As with men, I would find myself sexually drawn to and interested in some but not others. I have not had the opportunity to engage with a woman in a sexual manner so cannot say for definite that I am bi-sexual. That can only come with experiencing and trying it. But this certainly does not mean that I am not happy in my own skin or with my sexuality, quite on the contrary!
"
Nowhere did I say that all bi-curious women are unhappy in their skin and with their sexuality. That's just twisting my words. Also there's nothing wrong with being bi-curious, I just doubt the motivation of some labelling themselves bi-curious. That's all. |
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"There's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious, not with bisexual. I think peeps who are considering themselves as bisexual are happy in their skin and with their sexuality.
Imo it's mainly two issues that are reflected in the much higher percentage of bi-curious women to bi-curious men:
A lot of 'couple'-women are pretend bi-curious because it's sexy and trendy/do it for their partner
There's a stigma to bi men, it's considered as un-manly and there's the prejudice that all gay and bi men are std riddled.
This message from a "bi-curious" woman: I'm not sure what you mean when you say there's only a gender imbalance with the label bi-curious. I term myself bi-curious as I have no experience with interacting with women in a sexual manner. Yet I find the female form attractive and sexually appealing. As with men, I would find myself sexually drawn to and interested in some but not others. I have not had the opportunity to engage with a woman in a sexual manner so cannot say for definite that I am bi-sexual. That can only come with experiencing and trying it. But this certainly does not mean that I am not happy in my own skin or with my sexuality, quite on the contrary!
Nowhere did I say that all bi-curious women are unhappy in their skin and with their sexuality. That's just twisting my words. Also there's nothing wrong with being bi-curious, I just doubt the motivation of some labelling themselves bi-curious. That's all. "
I don't believe I was twisting your words as I was speaking about myself only and saying that I personally as someone with a curiosity is happy in her own skin . I can't and try not to speak for others. And I definitely get your point on either certain pressures being exerted or trends being followed by some women.
If I came across as taking your comment as an attack, then my apologies as that is certainly not my intention!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you have to put wide sweeping terms onto people there will always be a lot of grey areas.
Labels should be left for jars and not put on people.
I think generally people are more experimental in here or have opportunity that they may not have outside the scene.
Behind the label everyone is unique and there are not enough labels to sum them all up. "
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