FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > does Fab give you confidence
does Fab give you confidence
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I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just me |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It's probably given me some confidence in being able to take some pictures and to not be quite as shy as I was. But no I don't think fab is a place to build confidence unless you had a fair bit to start with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just me
You absolutely are compared to a random single male."
Really I don't think so but fair enough. |
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Since joining fab I have found confidence that I never had before.
Like most people I've had knockbacks but in general it has been very beneficial.
The tagline on my previous profile used to be " I'm the invisible Man" because I genuinely thought I was and not just on fab.
I'm no longer invisible so I'm thankful for that. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just me"
Ye I agree with you DD I don't think I'm more prized either. I'm just an normal woman on here.
I do agree tho that it is tougher for guys on here to get chatting and to get meets and some must lose confidence over time. |
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By *ubeMan
over a year ago
Drogheda |
"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
Your not far wrong, the ladys have there pick for sure. But why let a place like here knock your confidence, just take life as it comes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just me
Ye I agree with you DD I don't think I'm more prized either. I'm just an normal woman on here.
I do agree tho that it is tougher for guys on here to get chatting and to get meets and some must lose confidence over time. "
Maybe but I have to say I'm finding it tough and at this rate just here for the forums and to post my stories. So guess it's done my confidence no good. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
Agree with you on this mostly but then I see some of the men and women on here who are absolutely stunning and not getting anywhere either
If you thought too much about that you'd just leave the site to be honest
I think the covid restrictions have a lot to do with it...lockdown not easy on anyones mental health and most people sticking to the no meets rule is not knocking anyone back intentionally
I know 99.99 % of the site would never be interested in me but my confidence is sky high after being on here this long and I'm getting out of it exactly what I was looking for in the first place.
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By *issme39Woman
over a year ago
kildare |
"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just me
Ye I agree with you DD I don't think I'm more prized either. I'm just an normal woman on here.
I do agree tho that it is tougher for guys on here to get chatting and to get meets and some must lose confidence over time. "
Agree completely ladies x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Agree with you on this mostly but then I see some of the men and women on here who are absolutely stunning and not getting anywhere either
If you thought too much about that you'd just leave the site to be honest
I think the covid restrictions have a lot to do with it...lockdown not easy on anyones mental health and most people sticking to the no meets rule is not knocking anyone back intentionally
I know 99.99 % of the site would never be interested in me but my confidence is sky high after being on here this long and I'm getting out of it exactly what I was looking for in the first place.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I imagine it could go either way for people.
In therapist-speak I had already done a lot of work on myself so it hasn't impacted positively or negatively on my self-image, I know my worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab only reiterates what Kaizer has known since birth 
That he is hairy  "
That was an alarmingly swift retort 
Kaizer is much than a ridiculously good looking mass of hair!  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Fab only reiterates what Kaizer has known since birth
That he is hairy
That was an alarmingly swift retort
Kaizer is much than a ridiculously good looking mass of hair! "
What can I say I'm quick off the mark at times and just happened to be on line at the right time
And I am sure you are just a big cute cuddly beast  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
Couldn't agree more I'd say 1 out of 10 wb to my mails. I don't know if its coz im not verified of what but it does kick the aul confidence  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does fab give people a sense of confidence which otherwise in person wouldn’t be there? What’s your thoughts?"
Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (your self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and experience.not what someone says on fab... but it can give a bit of boost alright |
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This is a brill question.
Ummm for me it can at times give me confidence when you get chatting and flirting its great.
But also it can knock it down too, with a lot of rejection and no replys.
But thats the risk you take i guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I'm more the invisibe type here but look it is what it is I can accept it for what it is but I think it's a ratio thing n not gonna break my confidence but do say honestly sometimes makes u question ur appeal to others but won't phase me I'll just get back up brush it off n try again |
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"Does fab give people a sense of confidence which otherwise in person wouldn’t be there? What’s your thoughts?"
Ive saw many posts where women have commented on how much of a confidence boost they get from being on here however I'm not one who needs compliments from guys to make me feel good and let's face it half the compliments mean nothing because they are giving the same compliments to hundreds of women on here.
only compliments I accept truely are from the people I've met |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
I agree re a lot of the single women. They often get more attention that they are used to in real life. Some wouldnt get a second look in a bar in real life.
But the bit about the higher quality single male being more frequently "chosen"??? Who choses who?? It's certainly not like that as far as I'm concerned. Can only speak for myself, but I chose who I decide to speak to and its very much a two way process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very very few men have a very full mailbox with a large number of options of fems wanting to fuck them for them to choose from. "
I've only ever got one message the rest from men n I'm straight odd that
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who chooses who? Generally the fems choose the men. Of course the men can turn them down and wait to be chosen again."
Like I said I disagree with that bit. But if that's the general mindset it would go a long way to explaining why some horrendous females profiles have such delusions of grandure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very very few men have a very full mailbox with a large number of options of fems wanting to fuck them for them to choose from. "
Well that's probably more a sad reflection on the calibre of desperate man on here. |
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"Does fab give people a sense of confidence which otherwise in person wouldn’t be there? What’s your thoughts?"
For some it does,which is a good thing. Its when you get knocked back and how you deal with it that's important. Personally,I'm very comfortable in who I am so I don't need to feel liked to feel good or confident. I couldn't tell you the amount of threads I've commented on that have died right then...but I don't take it personally as nobody here knows me! But I can see how some people might feel slightly deflated after a message or messages havn't been read or replied to! If someone gets a confidence boost from interaction on the forums or from their pics being fabbed then happy days. Confidence is a good thing as long as it doesn't turn into cocky or arrogance! And if it carries over into "real life" that's even better! Just my opinion |
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"Very very few men have a very full mailbox with a large number of options of fems wanting to fuck them for them to choose from.
Well that's probably more a sad reflection on the calibre of desperate man on here. "
What qualifies a man as desperate? |
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I did say it's different for the exceptional male. An average female profile has hundreds of offers of sex from men. The average male profile has very few/none. It's the number of offers that governs the ability to choose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess I'm an average invisible female than lol
Do you honestly not get loads of offers of sex in your mails? "
Nope I don't. I've had 4 messages today and one was to give me abuse |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Very very few men have a very full mailbox with a large number of options of fems wanting to fuck them for them to choose from.
Well that's probably more a sad reflection on the calibre of desperate man on here. "
And most women can spot them a mile off and avoid. Just like they spot the so called alpha males and fake doms etc. But I definitely wouldn't say that most guys are desperate on here. |
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"I guess I'm an average invisible female than lol
Do you honestly not get loads of offers of sex in your mails?
Nope I don't. I've had 4 messages today and one was to give me abuse"
Goddamn if I were a single male I would be all over you like a rash. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess I'm an average invisible female than lol
Do you honestly not get loads of offers of sex in your mails?
Nope I don't. I've had 4 messages today and one was to give me abuse
Goddamn if I were a single male I would be all over you like a rash. "
Ah thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab most definitely hasn't boosted my confidence neither when I was single, not now. I'd go even as far as it had knocked it down a good few times.
I don't class random half assed passer's-by lazy comments on my body parts as compliments or paying attention. If given a chance to message privately every single half naked woman they see online- they probably would. Without any intention of meeting them. Which they also do on fab.
What knocked my confidence a few times was the no shows. Grown adults can't meet another adult for a drink. Am I not good enough?
I can see how some women may get a "confidence boost" by having their inbox full - Oh so many fabs and so much attention. But it reality that attention is cheap and temporary.
I'll take one genuine compliment about my real achievements over 1000 "you have a good ass" lines. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab most definitely hasn't boosted my confidence neither when I was single, not now. I'd go even as far as it had knocked it down a good few times.
I don't class random half assed passer's-by lazy comments on my body parts as compliments or paying attention. If given a chance to message privately every single half naked woman they see online- they probably would. Without any intention of meeting them. Which they also do on fab.
What knocked my confidence a few times was the no shows. Grown adults can't meet another adult for a drink. Am I not good enough?
I can see how some women may get a "confidence boost" by having their inbox full - Oh so many fabs and so much attention. But it reality that attention is cheap and temporary.
I'll take one genuine compliment about my real achievements over 1000 "you have a good ass" lines. "
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"Fab most definitely hasn't boosted my confidence neither when I was single, not now. I'd go even as far as it had knocked it down a good few times.
I don't class random half assed passer's-by lazy comments on my body parts as compliments or paying attention. If given a chance to message privately every single half naked woman they see online- they probably would. Without any intention of meeting them. Which they also do on fab.
What knocked my confidence a few times was the no shows. Grown adults can't meet another adult for a drink. Am I not good enough?
I can see how some women may get a "confidence boost" by having their inbox full - Oh so many fabs and so much attention. But it reality that attention is cheap and temporary.
I'll take one genuine compliment about my real achievements over 1000 "you have a good ass" lines.
"
you have tho   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think If women Were to listen to all the shite they hear from men Who are just trying to get their leg over they would end up with over inflated egos
This is coming from the female here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab most definitely hasn't boosted my confidence neither when I was single, not now. I'd go even as far as it had knocked it down a good few times.
I don't class random half assed passer's-by lazy comments on my body parts as compliments or paying attention. If given a chance to message privately every single half naked woman they see online- they probably would. Without any intention of meeting them. Which they also do on fab.
What knocked my confidence a few times was the no shows. Grown adults can't meet another adult for a drink. Am I not good enough?
I can see how some women may get a "confidence boost" by having their inbox full - Oh so many fabs and so much attention. But it reality that attention is cheap and temporary.
I'll take one genuine compliment about my real achievements over 1000 "you have a good ass" lines. "
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I definitely gained confidence when I used to attend the 'Curvy' meet and greets. Was nice to be in a room where the men appreciated the fuller figure women.
Tbh I don't feel I'm any better than the next person, just find it hard to find someone on here who's on the same page. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. Alot of guys on here would get up on a cracked plate so really....fabs/messages dont mean an awful lot.
Hahaha and you wouldn't do the same? Such an angel haha"
Well ...no I wouldn't |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I definitely gained confidence when I used to attend the 'Curvy' meet and greets. Was nice to be in a room where the men appreciated the fuller figure women.
Tbh I don't feel I'm any better than the next person, just find it hard to find someone on here who's on the same page."
You're just being picky trying to find someone on the same page
Some of us can't even find someone reading the same book |
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
Since joining fab,my confidence has grown,but not because of the forums,its all down to meeting people,realising more about myself,what I like,dislike,ticked alot of boxes of what I wanted to do.
Met amazing people,made friends.
I've come out of my shell yes.
I also have gotten to know more how men think and act when genuine and not genuine.
Not clueless anymore like Carrie Bradshaw used to be.
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"I guess I'm an average invisible female than lol
Do you honestly not get loads of offers of sex in your mails?
Nope I don't. I've had 4 messages today and one was to give me abuse"
We sorted that one out  |
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Fab itself, messages and the rest, haven’t made any difference to my confidence. What being on Fab has led to has. I think we’ve been very lucky in that the people we have met at socials and parties have been pretty much amazing. Being around like minded, open minded, sexy people has meant that we’re more confident about knowing and expressing what we’re looking for x Jessy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Agree with you on this mostly but then I see some of the men and women on here who are absolutely stunning and not getting anywhere either
If you thought too much about that you'd just leave the site to be honest
I think the covid restrictions have a lot to do with it...lockdown not easy on anyones mental health and most people sticking to the no meets rule is not knocking anyone back intentionally
I know 99.99 % of the site would never be interested in me but my confidence is sky high after being on here this long and I'm getting out of it exactly what I was looking for in the first place.
"
Good for you dude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would say it has given me more confidence but I'm not that shy to start with. It has helped yes. I like it fab tbh. Some will like you, some will not, thats life.. sorry thats fab..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab most definitely hasn't boosted my confidence neither when I was single, not now. I'd go even as far as it had knocked it down a good few times.
I don't class random half assed passer's-by lazy comments on my body parts as compliments or paying attention. If given a chance to message privately every single half naked woman they see online- they probably would. Without any intention of meeting them. Which they also do on fab.
What knocked my confidence a few times was the no shows. Grown adults can't meet another adult for a drink. Am I not good enough?
I can see how some women may get a "confidence boost" by having their inbox full - Oh so many fabs and so much attention. But it reality that attention is cheap and temporary.
I'll take one genuine compliment about my real achievements over 1000 "you have a good ass" lines. "
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt."
Well I'll give you a genuine compliment you have absolutely amazing eyes...don't throw the salt they'll sting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt."
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having |
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having "
jaysus i dont think ive had tequila since i was about 19 lol. ill be on me bum after one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having
jaysus i dont think ive had tequila since i was about 19 lol. ill be on me bum after one"
Me too we can be on our bums together  |
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having "
Mmmmm Tequila!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having
Mmmmm Tequila!! "
Who's got the lemons |
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having
jaysus i dont think ive had tequila since i was about 19 lol. ill be on me bum after one
Me too we can be on our bums together "
excellent. Ill bring cake. cake goes with everything. unless after drinking and you want a curry chip or something |
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Well I'll give you a genuine compliment you have absolutely amazing eyes...don't throw the salt they'll sting "
ahh thank you BM x its the one feature i dont have a problem with lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having
jaysus i dont think ive had tequila since i was about 19 lol. ill be on me bum after one
Me too we can be on our bums together
excellent. Ill bring cake. cake goes with everything. unless after drinking and you want a curry chip or something"
We can start with the cake |
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having
jaysus i dont think ive had tequila since i was about 19 lol. ill be on me bum after one
Me too we can be on our bums together
excellent. Ill bring cake. cake goes with everything. unless after drinking and you want a curry chip or something
We can start with the cake "
excellent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does fab give people a sense of confidence which otherwise in person wouldn’t be there? What’s your thoughts?"
Absolutely..am fierce shy and would never have the confidence to approach a lady in the real world as l'd be wayyyyyyyyyy too nervous and go all mumbo jumbo but l find l can be more respectfully relaxed here and find l can be my true self ..when l first joined l was way too conscious of not getting replies and can't lie my confidence was shot to crap BUT then there comes a time of " not every shoe fits " and it's no bother if no replies are returned... rejection is part and parcel of this joint and it doesn't bother me one bit now but it's great that l can say hi to ladies here with the confidence l wish l had in real life . |
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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago
North West, Outer Letterkenny area |
"Does fab give people a sense of confidence which otherwise in person wouldn’t be there? What’s your thoughts?"
I would say increased confidence to post more, when usually I can be quite quiet.
No negative impact, feel more positive even if its just enjoying the forums. Not overtly worried about messages or lack there of , or other people looking better or having a better body etc. I'm happy with myself. |
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Hi,
I personally would say yes and no...why? I've learned a lot about myself, psychologically, emotionally and sexually speaking in my journey on Fab, through chats and socials and meets through my singles female profile saint_or_sinner.
As a woman I was very popular for chat with men mostly. The attention, which I believe has definitely a lot to do with the ratio of men to women here, was flattering and confidence boosting on one hand...though I have been shot down too, which is perfectly acceptable and normal as none of us can be everyone's type. But on the other hand can lead to very mixed emotions in the sense that the only reason I am being messaged is for sex - more often than not, a quick fuck, which brings about the feeling of "am I not worth more than that"? Particularly when my profile clearly indicates I'm not one for a "quick fuck" if anyone ever actually cared to read my profile! Now I am aware we are on a swinger/sex site, so please don't knock the comment. I would very much be someone who prefers an emotional connection even if it is for NSA sex. This for me means I prefer to get to know someone on a more personal and intimate level than just knowing sexual preferences, as I believe that knowing a certain amount about a person, where they're from, what they're about and the path they're on, makes for better sex, especially when kinks and fetishes come into play where trust is of utmost importance! Sex starts with the mind! And the amount of meaningless opening messages coming in from people don't give much faith in that someone is interested in more than just a quick fuck, be that right or wrong with regards to the people sending these messages.
I do wonder how women would fare if the ratio were reversed!?
So, in other words, I've had my confidence boosted at times, I've also had my confidence knocked on occasion, particularly at the beginning of my journey here. I've very quickly learned to not take Fab too seriously but as a fun addition to my life... and usually make every effort to be as honest and open with and in my replies to incoming messages without being one of those to want to knock anyone else's confidence here!
Kinky temptress
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,
I personally would say yes and no...why? I've learned a lot about myself, psychologically, emotionally and sexually speaking in my journey on Fab, through chats and socials and meets through my singles female profile saint_or_sinner.
As a woman I was very popular for chat with men mostly. The attention, which I believe has definitely a lot to do with the ratio of men to women here, was flattering and confidence boosting on one hand...though I have been shot down too, which is perfectly acceptable and normal as none of us can be everyone's type. But on the other hand can lead to very mixed emotions in the sense that the only reason I am being messaged is for sex - more often than not, a quick fuck, which brings about the feeling of "am I not worth more than that"? Particularly when my profile clearly indicates I'm not one for a "quick fuck" if anyone ever actually cared to read my profile! Now I am aware we are on a swinger/sex site, so please don't knock the comment. I would very much be someone who prefers an emotional connection even if it is for NSA sex. This for me means I prefer to get to know someone on a more personal and intimate level than just knowing sexual preferences, as I believe that knowing a certain amount about a person, where they're from, what they're about and the path they're on, makes for better sex, especially when kinks and fetishes come into play where trust is of utmost importance! Sex starts with the mind! And the amount of meaningless opening messages coming in from people don't give much faith in that someone is interested in more than just a quick fuck, be that right or wrong with regards to the people sending these messages.
I do wonder how women would fare if the ratio were reversed!?
So, in other words, I've had my confidence boosted at times, I've also had my confidence knocked on occasion, particularly at the beginning of my journey here. I've very quickly learned to not take Fab too seriously but as a fun addition to my life... and usually make every effort to be as honest and open with and in my replies to incoming messages without being one of those to want to knock anyone else's confidence here!
Kinky temptress
"
100% |
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"Hi,
I personally would say yes and no...why? I've learned a lot about myself, psychologically, emotionally and sexually speaking in my journey on Fab, through chats and socials and meets through my singles female profile saint_or_sinner.
As a woman I was very popular for chat with men mostly. The attention, which I believe has definitely a lot to do with the ratio of men to women here, was flattering and confidence boosting on one hand...though I have been shot down too, which is perfectly acceptable and normal as none of us can be everyone's type. But on the other hand can lead to very mixed emotions in the sense that the only reason I am being messaged is for sex - more often than not, a quick fuck, which brings about the feeling of "am I not worth more than that"? Particularly when my profile clearly indicates I'm not one for a "quick fuck" if anyone ever actually cared to read my profile! Now I am aware we are on a swinger/sex site, so please don't knock the comment. I would very much be someone who prefers an emotional connection even if it is for NSA sex. This for me means I prefer to get to know someone on a more personal and intimate level than just knowing sexual preferences, as I believe that knowing a certain amount about a person, where they're from, what they're about and the path they're on, makes for better sex, especially when kinks and fetishes come into play where trust is of utmost importance! Sex starts with the mind! And the amount of meaningless opening messages coming in from people don't give much faith in that someone is interested in more than just a quick fuck, be that right or wrong with regards to the people sending these messages.
I do wonder how women would fare if the ratio were reversed!?
So, in other words, I've had my confidence boosted at times, I've also had my confidence knocked on occasion, particularly at the beginning of my journey here. I've very quickly learned to not take Fab too seriously but as a fun addition to my life... and usually make every effort to be as honest and open with and in my replies to incoming messages without being one of those to want to knock anyone else's confidence here!
Kinky temptress
"
You have put into words what alot of us are thinking. Thank you x |
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For me where I got confidence was on my first trip to a nudist swinger resort in Jamaica few yrs ago
There's a sign that says nude from here on nailed to a tree
I was abousetly bricking it
My partner turned to me and said right get them off you
I was self conscious of my body but after 10 mins I loved being naked
Left there a week late a totally different person
In a good way
I would walk into any room now and never feel inaducte in any way
The people I have met trough fab and the places I visited because I found out about them trough fab have been brilliant
Fab as a site doesn't do much for me but the people do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just me"
im sure you don’t !
but from experience a lot of women do !
You obviously would getting hit up 50 times a day |
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Personally I would say I've more confidence through fab on being bi. I now don't give a fiddlers what anyone thinks, it's who I am and my partner is in full agreement with not hiding what we want, so there na na ne naa naaa lol.
Frank |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just meim sure you don’t !
but from experience a lot of women do !
You obviously would getting hit up 50 times a day "
Nah I don't think I would because it does t happen in real life why would it happen here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides)
Well I don't think I'm more prized on here but than that's just meim sure you don’t !
but from experience a lot of women do !
You obviously would getting hit up 50 times a day
Nah I don't think I would because it does t happen in real life why would it happen here."
Exactly! But that’s a rare out look on here !
But it isn’t real life your totally correct and your obviously smart enough to realize that ! And no matter how many times I get knocked back on here it would do nothing to my confidence ! |
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Well for me it has to some degree I won't lie I'm not completely oozing confidence like there would be something in the back of my mind keep telling me not to mess things up when I meet new people I am a bit on the quiet side but that's simply down to not wanting to say something completely idiotic but I do warm to those I really like fairly quick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well for me it has to some degree I won't lie I'm not completely oozing confidence like there would be something in the back of my mind keep telling me not to mess things up when I meet new people I am a bit on the quiet side but that's simply down to not wanting to say something completely idiotic but I do warm to those I really like fairly quick "
I think the less you over think and stress the more genuine you will come across |
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Easier said than done I'm afraid especially throughout your life you have been put down at every turn keep being told you wouldn't amount to anything you kinda start believing it so when someone do give me their time have to say I do be a bit surprised but I guess that's life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Easier said than done I'm afraid especially throughout your life you have been put down at every turn keep being told you wouldn't amount to anything you kinda start believing it so when someone do give me their time have to say I do be a bit surprised but I guess that's life "
Yeah I get you mate it is easier said then done by the sounds of things ! I wouldn’t of classes myself as confident years ago and tried to be a people pleaser !
But hit my age mate and peoples options mean absolutely nothing !
On here wats the very worst that can happen if you put ur self out there ? They say no ? It happens to us all.....! but your confident enough to write how you feel on a thread
That ain’t easy ! Your always gonna get people that hate and wanna put you down but really there the real insecure sad acts that can only feel less of a loser by knocking others !!! Don’t listen to that your wasting energy on nonsense ! My advice take everything from the smallest of positives that come your way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Easier said than done I'm afraid especially throughout your life you have been put down at every turn keep being told you wouldn't amount to anything you kinda start believing it so when someone do give me their time have to say I do be a bit surprised but I guess that's life "
meant peoples opinions mean nothing ha
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its definitely not somewhere that will boost your confidence.
I've found its been great to find friends that have spilled out into real life. After a while for alot of people the longer you're here the play becomes secondary and the friendships you form become valuable to you.
For me at times, my confidence has been dashed as some of the messages you'd receive after you say no politely are ruthless and disgusting. That would chip away at you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had no confidence joining and I still struggle with having any, but have met and made friends with some really lovely people..And had some really fun times..Its a win win for me..x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab has made me more confident I have learnt to embrace my imperfections. When I was married I wouldn't let my husband see me naked. But last Sunday afternoon I was parading around scantily clad in my knickers hanging off a sex swing in The Chamber Playroom for a kink photo shoot. I never thought I would be enough of a bad ass to strip off in front of the camera. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was lucky enough to have dealt with my insecurities and made peace with my body long before I joined fab.
I see alot of people talk about how fab has helped them with theirs. However, I'd be very skeptical of this new found confidence because if its based on the validation of other people, then it's not real, is it?
I think true confidence comes from yourself and has no link whatsoever to how other people see or treat you. So, if the attention of men or women on fab has given you confidence - you're kind of kidding yourself.
Definitely don't mean this as a criticism. I know how difficult it is to accept yourself and be confident in who you are. I just worry for people who think they've found that here. |
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
I agree with this. Totally built up my confidence when I first joined. My pictures built me up too, I know in real life I'm not that sexy confident person in my pics. The last year or so my confidence has dropped because of fab too....men don't realise what they say and how it comes across to a woman sometimes. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
I also think there's 2 type of confidence at issue here
The first one is mental..and maybe just as important is body confidence
I know in my case I have the first but not the second and that can cause problems with the mental confidence to be honest.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab has made me more confident I have learnt to embrace my imperfections. When I was married I wouldn't let my husband see me naked. But last Sunday afternoon I was parading around scantily clad in my knickers hanging off a sex swing in The Chamber Playroom for a kink photo shoot. I never thought I would be enough of a bad ass to strip off in front of the camera."
And just how amazing were you Rosy?? Was so much fun shooting you, the giggles and all and looked absolutely fabulous! Xoxo
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
I would agree with you on this..... a single male can be a lonely place on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As for my own experience...
Yeah fab defo gave me loads more confidence...and age I suppose..
I never wore figure hugging clothes till my 40s and walked around with a jumper around my waist most of my life hiding my then size 12 bum..
Its probably not fab as a website more so the experiences I had from here that gave the confidence boost.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As for my own experience...
Yeah fab defo gave me loads more confidence...and age I suppose..
I never wore figure hugging clothes till my 40s and walked around with a jumper around my waist most of my life hiding my then size 12 bum..
Its probably not fab as a website more so the experiences I had from here that gave the confidence boost.. "
Self confidence is a funny old thing, and not at all linked to looks necessarily. There are some sensational looking folks on this thread, yourself included, but lacking in confidence. I say anyone who puts up a profile on here and goes and meets people deserves a pat on the back because this is not easy |
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We'd be very simular to a lot of you sexy peeps here with our own body image. It's surprising to see some profiles say how they lack body confidence but we'd view their profile as hot..Hot...HOT.
Our own worst critics are ourselves. We should learn to take a compliment when given and flaunt what we got, not hide it. Enjoy life and our bodies while we got them instead of putting ourselves down.
EireCpl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might take some flack for this post but here goes. Most single women gain confidence from this site because they are in the minority and are therefore prized more on here than in the real world, because they are the gatekeepers. Most single men lose confidence because they are very common. The much higher quality single males are more frequently chosen, and so their confidence improves. There are many exceptions to this but I'm talking generally. (runs and hides) "
Yep agree with you on this.
In real life I'm confident single person but find on Fab it's swings ( pun ) and roundabouts on the confidence thing. |
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"Easier said than done I'm afraid especially throughout your life you have been put down at every turn keep being told you wouldn't amount to anything you kinda start believing it so when someone do give me their time have to say I do be a bit surprised but I guess that's life
Yeah I get you mate it is easier said then done by the sounds of things ! I wouldn’t of classes myself as confident years ago and tried to be a people pleaser !
But hit my age mate and peoples options mean absolutely nothing !
On here wats the very worst that can happen if you put ur self out there ? They say no ? It happens to us all.....! but your confident enough to write how you feel on a thread
That ain’t easy ! Your always gonna get people that hate and wanna put you down but really there the real insecure sad acts that can only feel less of a loser by knocking others !!! Don’t listen to that your wasting energy on nonsense ! My advice take everything from the smallest of positives that come your way "
Of course its very simple here someone is either interested in you or not and when they are that's when you step up and accept the word no which tends to be hard to understand here to some it means rage mode but people with sense will accept it and move on |
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I suspect a lot of guys get disheartened on fab, they join thinking it's a sexual smorgasbord free for all. Ultimately they're disappointed at lack of attention. If singles want to improve their chances, go to as many m&g's and display your real character and personality, something that doesn't show on your profile or pics. If you're the sort of person who gets shy and awkward then your chances of a meet diminish rapidly. Looks can be beaten by charm, wit and style, so get yourselves out there. Once you get an invite to a party and you mix and perform well, you'll get more invites. Result is more confidence and more party invites, as parties always need some singles. Frank |
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having
Mmmmm Tequila!!
Who's got the lemons "
Ahhhh, lemon and salt ruin it, just drink it straight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope hasnt. If anything its made me even more body conscious and i was bad enough to start with. I take any "compliment" messages i get with a pinch of salt.
Keep the salt for the tequila shots we having
Mmmmm Tequila!!
Who's got the lemons
Ahhhh, lemon and salt ruin it, just drink it straight "
Don't remind me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thought me to give less fucks about my body. To be more free and happy as I am. To embrace my inner minx which shines through in general life more than ever. |
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