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Long distance relationships
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Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
That's a long time to put your sex life on hold for someone you haven't met in person yet. Especially as you are only chatting a few weeks.
It's up to you and you have to go with your own feelings but personally if anyone would ask me that before we even met it will set off alarm bells. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! "
Is he the guy that learned how to sign |
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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago
North West, Outer Letterkenny area |
I think OP that it is probably a bit unfair to ask you to be monogamous and in a relationship with someone you haven't met in person. 10 months is quite a long time for you to put your sex life on hold. And it may not work out at all. When you do meet. If things are going well then you can make that choice. I think its unfair to ask you to wait. Thats just my thoughts OP. |
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Just want to add some extra information. He hasn't asked me to be monogamous. It came up naturally in conversation and absolutely no pressure was applied. We also discussed not being monogamous and it was made clear that the choice was mine.
His suggestion just got me thinking...
Also he is from a more conservative culture and has much less sexual experience than me, so it's not an issue for him to wait.
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please!
Is he the guy that learned how to sign "
Haha no. He just has all the patience in the world. He speaks slowly and clearly and will repeat endlessly if I need him to. Which is just as good in my opinion haha |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please!
Is he the guy that learned how to sign
Haha no. He just has all the patience in the world. He speaks slowly and clearly and will repeat endlessly if I need him to. Which is just as good in my opinion haha"
It would have been too much like a rom com if he was really
Just my tuppence worth ....if he's waiting fine
Youll only know whether hes worth it when you realise you haven't had sex in a while and you don't mind..sure in the lockdown what difference did it make
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please!
Is he the guy that learned how to sign
Haha no. He just has all the patience in the world. He speaks slowly and clearly and will repeat endlessly if I need him to. Which is just as good in my opinion haha
It would have been too much like a rom com if he was really
Just my tuppence worth ....if he's waiting fine
Youll only know whether hes worth it when you realise you haven't had sex in a while and you don't mind..sure in the lockdown what difference did it make
"
Hahaha definitely.
The only issue I have with waiting is that I'm worried about being lonely. I go without sex for months regularly by choice but every now and again I just feel quite physically lonely and I get sad if I don't have physical contact with someone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be very wary of someone I barely knew wanting to put conditions on how I live my life before I'd even met him. "
Agree..I would wait till you can actually spend some time together in real time before making any decisions x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be very wary of someone I barely knew wanting to put conditions on how I live my life before I'd even met him.
As you should be. I did however make it clear that that's not the case here "
Then why did you say it in your opening post "he has suggested not sleeping with anyone else"?
Anyway, my answer is still the same about someone you really don't know at all and have only been speaking to for a month. |
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"I'd be very wary of someone I barely knew wanting to put conditions on how I live my life before I'd even met him.
As you should be. I did however make it clear that that's not the case here
Then why did you say it in your opening post "he has suggested not sleeping with anyone else"?
Anyway, my answer is still the same about someone you really don't know at all and have only been speaking to for a month. "
Suggesting something as an idea is very different from wanting to put restrictions on my life.
Also I commented again to reclarify what I meant, I assumed people read the comments before making one themselves since I usually do. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please!
Is he the guy that learned how to sign
Haha no. He just has all the patience in the world. He speaks slowly and clearly and will repeat endlessly if I need him to. Which is just as good in my opinion haha
It would have been too much like a rom com if he was really
Just my tuppence worth ....if he's waiting fine
Youll only know whether hes worth it when you realise you haven't had sex in a while and you don't mind..sure in the lockdown what difference did it make
Hahaha definitely.
The only issue I have with waiting is that I'm worried about being lonely. I go without sex for months regularly by choice but every now and again I just feel quite physically lonely and I get sad if I don't have physical contact with someone.
"
Read my profile and welcome to my world  |
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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago
North West, Outer Letterkenny area |
"Just want to add some extra information. He hasn't asked me to be monogamous. It came up naturally in conversation and absolutely no pressure was applied. We also discussed not being monogamous and it was made clear that the choice was mine.
His suggestion just got me thinking...
Also he is from a more conservative culture and has much less sexual experience than me, so it's not an issue for him to wait.
"
still quite a long time OP. Maybe keep it casual and it gives you options until you meet. You may not be talking in 6 months time but it could work out eventually. Just leave yourself options |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be very wary of someone I barely knew wanting to put conditions on how I live my life before I'd even met him.
As you should be. I did however make it clear that that's not the case here
Then why did you say it in your opening post "he has suggested not sleeping with anyone else"?
Anyway, my answer is still the same about someone you really don't know at all and have only been speaking to for a month.
Suggesting something as an idea is very different from wanting to put restrictions on my life.
Also I commented again to reclarify what I meant, I assumed people read the comments before making one themselves since I usually do. "
Suggesting an idea can in fact be synonymous with wanting to put restrictions on someone. And I've also reclarified based on your own reclarification. Why limit your own comforts in what are difficult times for everyone, for the sake of a relationship that may never happen at all.
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"Still quite a long time OP. Maybe keep it casual and it gives you options until you meet. You may not be talking in 6 months time but it could work out eventually. Just leave yourself options "
I'm inclined to agree. The mere 'suggestion' before you've even met does rings alarm bells, sorry  . It suggests that he might want to exert control over you, so early on  . Just be careful op - Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go with your gut feeling.listen sure it is a long time to wait to get physical with someone you know but surely enough if the feelings are strong enough it wont really matter if you wait but if you are open to him and let him know the lonelyness gets you down he might understand and if he wants you to be happy he might even agree to let you see people on the occasion that you are down on the other hand if hes on a swingers site here which maybe hes now but if he is im sure he will understand thw workings of a seingers site or even get turned on by the thought of you getting the company you require to make you feel good and loved. Either way ideally be great if you met him a few tines before ya dont se him for the 10 months but if in regular contact talking and maybe the odd bit sexting might just be key to building up an explosive relationship in 10 months time. Best of luck anyway everyone deserves happiness |
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"Go with your gut feeling.listen sure it is a long time to wait to get physical with someone you know but surely enough if the feelings are strong enough it wont really matter if you wait but if you are open to him and let him know the lonelyness gets you down he might understand and if he wants you to be happy he might even agree to let you see people on the occasion that you are down on the other hand if hes on a swingers site here which maybe hes now but if he is im sure he will understand thw workings of a seingers site or even get turned on by the thought of you getting the company you require to make you feel good and loved. Either way ideally be great if you met him a few tines before ya dont se him for the 10 months but if in regular contact talking and maybe the odd bit sexting might just be key to building up an explosive relationship in 10 months time. Best of luck anyway everyone deserves happiness"
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"Go with your gut feeling.listen sure it is a long time to wait to get physical with someone you know but surely enough if the feelings are strong enough it wont really matter if you wait but if you are open to him and let him know the lonelyness gets you down he might understand and if he wants you to be happy he might even agree to let you see people on the occasion that you are down on the other hand if hes on a swingers site here which maybe hes now but if he is im sure he will understand thw workings of a seingers site or even get turned on by the thought of you getting the company you require to make you feel good and loved. Either way ideally be great if you met him a few tines before ya dont se him for the 10 months but if in regular contact talking and maybe the odd bit sexting might just be key to building up an explosive relationship in 10 months time. Best of luck anyway everyone deserves happiness"
And there lies the problem
A guy she has never even met might 'let' her see others
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! "
Goodness that is not for me and think a guy has a cheek to dictate your life for you. Be different if you had met up before but i would never do that for a stranger. |
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By *oc1998Man
over a year ago
Dundalk |
As a young man myself, i know what men my age are like. Im assuming the guy you are talking to is similar to my age. All we think about is how we are going to get a ride. Most of the time. You want to be careful and think is he willing to do the same for you. The rest is up to you. Hope it works out! |
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! "
How much is the distance between you? If you wait 10 months will you be able to see him regularly after that?x |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
If it gets you through covid-19 loneliness respectively to flower it up with some romantic fluffy thoughts why not, but often imagination surpasses reality when the latter finally kicks in especially when you've never met him, plus it sounds like a culture clash on top of it. Na, not gonna work for many reasons. Sorry....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! "
Talking from experience where it was long distance and I followed all rules we agreed on and he was a swinger to only to find out he was cheating.
Dont put your life on hold. If he likes you he can go for it in 10 months. Dont give up on your life for something that might never happen.
I am skeptic that he can go so long as well |
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He sounds very controlling to me and i would never let a man control my life again no matter how much i liked him. In fact if i were you i would tell him where to go for even making such a suggestion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you been on the wacky backy? .....you can’t meet for 10 months? where does this bell end live, the moon? There is not one single place on this earth, in this day and age, that isn’t accessible within a week.
You head the post “long distance relationships”, you ask in your first sentence do they work then you continue on by saying you’ve been chatting and video calling him. Sorry to burst your bubble but that is not a relationship by any stretch of the imagination. You then inform the me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you been on the wacky backy? .....you can’t meet for 10 months? where does this bell end live, the moon? There is not one single place on this earth, in this day and age, that isn’t accessible within a week.
You head the post “long distance relationships”, you ask in your first sentence do they work then you continue on by saying you’ve been chatting and video calling him. Sorry to burst your bubble but that is not a relationship by any stretch of the imagination. You then inform the merry popcorn crunchers that he has suggested you don’t sleep with anyone until you meet in 10 months time and when you are challenged you get defensive. I have to say, if a guy had have written this shambollox he would have been laughed out of the FAB courtroom, taken to the gallows and hung by the left testicle.
Sometimes I get a little anxious that I’m turning 50 very soon but after reading this post I am glad I’m not one of the younger ones of today I’d this is the sort of tripe that constitutes a relationship  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you haven't met him yet and its just talking I think its a very long time to wait and the what if comes into play. If your looking to keep busy in the next 10 months
Id gladly be happy to help  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus some people here are so aggressively cynical and vicious. There are ways to reply without lambasting the OP as a fool, trivialising her relationship to this guy or making assumptions that someone you know nothing about is 'controlling'. Don't be so bitter. |
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long distance can be a tricky one. I can get quite needy in a relationship at certain times so it can be difficult if my OH is at the other end of the island. They're not without work but can be maintained.
I have to agree with some of the others with the waiting until ye meet thing. I appreciate you've clarified his suggestion and that the choice is entirely with you. But for me, it does set off alarm bells. If I were you, I'd proceed with caution OP. And good luck with the connection building guuurl |
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! "
I may be alone in this opinion but I don’t think 10 months is that long
I mean I’ve definitely gone that long without sex before and these days with video calling and phone/video sex it is definitely workable.
But how does this fit in with a swinging lifestyle? Are you considering giving up swinging to be in a committed monogamous relationship? An ideal would be if you both accepted the lifestyle and you were able to talk about your experiences that you were having with other men until you get to meet face to face |
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"Have you been on the wacky backy? .....you can’t meet for 10 months? where does this bell end live, the moon? There is not one single place on this earth, in this day and age, that isn’t accessible within a week.
You head the post “long distance relationships”, you ask in your first sentence do they work then you continue on by saying you’ve been chatting and video calling him. Sorry to burst your bubble but that is not a relationship by any stretch of the imagination. You then inform the me "
He has moved back to Taiwan because of the virus and he is waiting to start his mandatory military service before moving back. That's why we have to wait so long. After that we will be seeing each other frequently. |
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please!
I may be alone in this opinion but I don’t think 10 months is that long
I mean I’ve definitely gone that long without sex before and these days with video calling and phone/video sex it is definitely workable.
But how does this fit in with a swinging lifestyle? Are you considering giving up swinging to be in a committed monogamous relationship? An ideal would be if you both accepted the lifestyle and you were able to talk about your experiences that you were having with other men until you get to meet face to face"
Yeah, I don't think it sounds like that long. The reason I am asking here is because I am considering it. I regularly wait a long time between having sex so it's not a huge sacrifice to me.
It was mentioned once during a conversation and then was never brought up again. The choice is 100% mine to make.
Video calling has been working really well for us. We spend most of our time talking. I'm intending to leave this lifestyle for a monogamous relationship with him.
I'm not going to spread his business on the Internet but I'm absolutely confident that no matter what I decide he will be fine with it, regardless of the lifestyle. |
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I could do longer distance. Person doesn't have to live where I live but there will come a point if your feelings grow stronger for one another, something will have to give. I could do longer but within reason. No point me dating somebody 2hrs or more away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! "
if you trust them 100% they can work. from my own experience they aren't great especially if the other person is untrustworthy. if it works for you more power to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he isn't already very sexually active its kind of like someone who doesn't drink askibg their partner to give up drinking for 10months.
But honestly its not that big a deal unless you think it is.
I wouldnt buy into the whole possessive alarm bells unless you have seen other warning signs. Not everyone has the same perspective on sex and you are going to get alot more people on here with ssx as a high priority.
If you think it's a relationship worth the sacrifice then you should go for it |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
So after his military service is finished he can move (back) to Ireland
Hopefully it works out for you.
I do think its none of his business if you have sex with someone before he gets a chance to come to Ireland or you visit him
If you feel you are in a relationship at the moment well then you are....simple as.
Its a completely different relationship to what I had when I was younger but everything is different now so enjoy it but also enjoy life now
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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago
North West, Outer Letterkenny area |
"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please!
I may be alone in this opinion but I don’t think 10 months is that long
I mean I’ve definitely gone that long without sex before and these days with video calling and phone/video sex it is definitely workable.
But how does this fit in with a swinging lifestyle? Are you considering giving up swinging to be in a committed monogamous relationship? An ideal would be if you both accepted the lifestyle and you were able to talk about your experiences that you were having with other men until you get to meet face to face
Yeah, I don't think it sounds like that long. The reason I am asking here is because I am considering it. I regularly wait a long time between having sex so it's not a huge sacrifice to me.
It was mentioned once during a conversation and then was never brought up again. The choice is 100% mine to make.
Video calling has been working really well for us. We spend most of our time talking. I'm intending to leave this lifestyle for a monogamous relationship with him.
I'm not going to spread his business on the Internet but I'm absolutely confident that no matter what I decide he will be fine with it, regardless of the lifestyle. "
Best of luck whatever you choose OP  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anybody in one?
I've been talking and video calling a guy for the past month or so and I'm starting to really catch feelings for him.
He has suggested not sleeping with anyone else until we can meet up. At least 10 months from now.
I'm confident that I really want to stay with him but I'm worried about being physically lonely.
Thoughts, advice, and opinions please! "
Do what makes you happy DG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be worried he has a micropenis. Unless your sure ve hasn't. Taiwanese people aren't really known to be sexually repressed... They are however known to be controlling and they imagine women should be subservient. One word.... Run! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be worried he has a micropenis. Unless your sure ve hasn't. Taiwanese people aren't really known to be sexually repressed... They are however known to be controlling and they imagine women should be subservient. One word.... Run! "
Ya 100% judge the guy by his ethnicity.... great advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in a LDR now dublin to belfast and it is hard, we would try meet up ever month minimum, but 10 months without sex, ye you could do it but why would you do it without being sure your very serious, just my 2 cents |
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"I'd be worried he has a micropenis. Unless your sure ve hasn't. Taiwanese people aren't really known to be sexually repressed... They are however known to be controlling and they imagine women should be subservient. One word.... Run! "
I'm laughing imagining a man making that comment on here.
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.no sexism intended 
