FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Swinging for real men/females ?
Swinging for real men/females ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ?? |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ?? "
Do you look at other people's profiles and read what the couple's are doing and looking to do.
Do you know what the different terms are that are used on their profiles
Or do you think a real man wouldnt share his partner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ??
Do you look at other people's profiles and read what the couple's are doing and looking to do.
Do you know what the different terms are that are used on their profiles
Or do you think a real man wouldnt share his partner
"
So in ur opinion it takes a real man to share his partner ???? And no I’ll be honest i don’t read a lot of couples profiles
I’m only going by my experience on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ?? "
That's a lot of question marks, op  which indicates to me that you're puzzled by something, so let me try to help demystify
Your questions all seem to be "how many" so are you asking what proportion of couples go through with it? Or do you want to know specific examples of where they have or haven't gone through with it?
I have no idea about proportions, but we've gone through with it and had a really great time  I think you need to have a lot of trust and be able to talk honestly about it before and after. If you can do that, it's an amazing experience, let's you learn so much about your partner and brings you closer together 
Just our experience, bear in mind everyone will be different. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ??
That's a lot of question marks, op which indicates to me that you're puzzled by something, so let me try to help demystify
Your questions all seem to be "how many" so are you asking what proportion of couples go through with it? Or do you want to know specific examples of where they have or haven't gone through with it?
I have no idea about proportions, but we've gone through with it and had a really great time I think you need to have a lot of trust and be able to talk honestly about it before and after. If you can do that, it's an amazing experience, let's you learn so much about your partner and brings you closer together
Just our experience, bear in mind everyone will be different."
Exactly how many would talk about it but truly go through with it ! I’m going by my own experience here ! But you explained it brilliantly! I just think you must have an amazing relationship for jealousy to not creep in that’s really the only reason why I brought the question up !
Cause as a man I’d find it difficult but as you said it opens the doors to new things !? This site tends to open your eyes to a lot of new things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it 
Hahaha Seasoned pros I take it "
No, we're only occasional swingers, it's an addition to our sex life, not a fundamental part. Trust, and open and honest communication are the basis of success, just as in any relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it
Hahaha Seasoned pros I take it
No, we're only occasional swingers, it's an addition to our sex life, not a fundamental part. Trust, and open and honest communication are the basis of success, just as in any relationship."
Likewise, this is just the cherry on the icing on the cake
I (Seb) thought I would be a little bit jealous, but it was actually just really hot. I don't think I had any relationship before that was secure enough to try it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it
Hahaha Seasoned pros I take it
No, we're only occasional swingers, it's an addition to our sex life, not a fundamental part. Trust, and open and honest communication are the basis of success, just as in any relationship."
All very intriguing to be honest definitely looking at this in a very different perspective
but thinking about me doing it and following through are two completely different things but it’s interesting to hear from couples that do and make it work |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At the start I was the jelous one. We'd 9nly meet couples, or me alone.
Now she spends more nights with her bf, "
For real ? You good with that ? Honestly? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It didn't just happen over night.
And it works well, I stay with his wife lol "
Ah I’ve a lot to learn mate !!! Not sure it would be for me but never say never right ! |
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"It didn't just happen over night.
And it works well, I stay with his wife lol
Ah I’ve a lot to learn mate !!! Not sure it would be for me but never say never right ! "
That's the thing. At the start I would have said the same. Wouldn't believe half of it woulda BN my thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it doesn't happen over night and takes alot of trust and talking and more talking 
We spoke about swinging for so long before we took the plunge and we went into our first meet thinking this will either work or it won't but we won't know until we try....That was about 12 years ago now.
Since then we have tried lots of new things and what works for us. What works for us may not work for anyone else. It's all about being open, honest & trust |
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Something inpostant there was hinted at but deserves teasing out a bit.
Some couples will deal with jealousy and insecurity that they feel when their partner has sex with someone else.. because they then get to do the same. Over time this can build into doing things that can be damaging to their original relationship.. in order to do something they REALLY want to do with someone else. This can be damaging to a couple. It can creep up on you and is something that couples should be on the lookout for. Speaking from experience. Don't put up with your partner doing stuff simply because you get to have your fun later on too. It can end in tears. |
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But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back |
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back "
Thats totally understandable. That DOES happen. You need a very very high level of trust. Either that or a willingness to be wreckless with your relationship in order to have your fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back
Thats totally understandable. That DOES happen. You need a very very high level of trust. Either that or a willingness to be wreckless with your relationship in order to have your fun. "
Each point sends you in a different direction! Look it ain’t my thing ( I don’t think ) but to hear the different views and perspectives is wat this is all about !!!! |
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back "
It's not sure it's something that any couple can do, it really depends on the dynamic between the couple. We both get off on experiencing things together as a couple, not individually |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back
It's not sure it's something that any couple can do, it really depends on the dynamic between the couple. We both get off on experiencing things together as a couple, not individually "
As cheesy as it sounds it really is each to there own and it’s been great listening to the different perspectives! It’s been interesting for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have being so fortunate to play with some amazing couples from Fab. No jealousy or drama just a great experience for all of us. I am always in awe of the love and respect they have for each other. I always feel privileged to be lucky enough to to share a intimate moment with them. I was married a long time and there's no way my ex hubby would have entertained that idea. |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"I have being so fortunate to play with some amazing couples from Fab. No jealousy or drama just a great experience for all of us. I am always in awe of the love and respect they have for each other. I always feel privileged to be lucky enough to to share a intimate moment with them. I was married a long time and there's no way my ex hubby would have entertained that idea. "
Spot on!
It doesnt work for a lot of people though, it takes a special relationship to do this. Most couples with Jealousy issues find this out fairly soon. |
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"I have being so fortunate to play with some amazing couples from Fab. No jealousy or drama just a great experience for all of us. I am always in awe of the love and respect they have for each other. I always feel privileged to be lucky enough to to share a intimate moment with them. I was married a long time and there's no way my ex hubby would have entertained that idea.
Spot on!
It doesnt work for a lot of people though, it takes a special relationship to do this. Most couples with Jealousy issues find this out fairly soon. "
Exactly this, you have to be a team, if one half is in it for themselves then disaster is inevitable. We are very lucky, we feed of each others turn ons. We respect our play partners greatly, but they are simply walk on parts on the movie of our fantasies.. |
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back "
Men are more easily able to seperate love from sex. Its in our genes. Its natural. Women are wired differently, probably as a result of conditioning and socialisation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have being so fortunate to play with some amazing couples from Fab. No jealousy or drama just a great experience for all of us. I am always in awe of the love and respect they have for each other. I always feel privileged to be lucky enough to to share a intimate moment with them. I was married a long time and there's no way my ex hubby would have entertained that idea.
Spot on!
It doesnt work for a lot of people though, it takes a special relationship to do this. Most couples with Jealousy issues find this out fairly soon. "
That's what put me off meeting couples for so long. I didn't want to be the cause of jealousy issues or upset the female as I have too much respect for other ladies. But when you find the right couple and there's mutual respect on both sides it's just a hot as f*ck experience. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Men are more easily able to seperate love from sex. Its in our genes. Its natural. Women are wired differently, probably as a result of conditioning and socialisation. "
I don't agree with that. Sex can be just sex for women too. Ye I have to like the person I have sex with doesn't mean I'm going to fall in love with them.
Once boundaries are set lines shouldn't be crossed if you think you are crossing them it's time to stop.
Meeting with couples can be great but it can also be a disaster if everyone isn't on the same page.
I know if I ever decided to have a 'proper' relationship again I'd hope to be able to swing with a partner as being on fab has opened my eyes a lot and I think monogamy doesn't really work for a lot of people. And as long as sex with others is just sex then it shouldn't cause an issue.
Plus reclaim sex would be hot as hell after as well |
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back
Men are more easily able to seperate love from sex. Its in our genes. Its natural. Women are wired differently, probably as a result of conditioning and socialisation. "
Sweeping generalisation there. Or maybe I missed the conditioning and socialisation classes. Probably out playing football with the boys |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back
Men are more easily able to seperate love from sex. Its in our genes. Its natural. Women are wired differently, probably as a result of conditioning and socialisation. "
Don’t agree bro I’d find it seriously difficult to see my misses walk off with another dude I wouldn’t find that easy at all !!!!
Look different people handle shit in there own way but not all men have that out look you have for sure |
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"But thats the thing how do you seperate love from sex i love the idea of my partner if i had one playing with another woman but not sure i coukd go through with it what if they ended up fallinv for the other person or they began seeing eacb other behind your back
Men are more easily able to seperate love from sex. Its in our genes. Its natural. Women are wired differently, probably as a result of conditioning and socialisation. "
I don't agree with this but the strange thing is that I've never once heard a man say that or use it as an excuse but I've been told it by 3 different women.
It was only aimed at me once as I wasn't in a relationship with the other two but although I know it's a sweeping generalisation it can be used as a stick to beat people with. |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
I'd like to think I'd be ok with my partner taking part in a sexual act with someone else if it was something I either don't want to take part in, or, if it's something I can't give her.
But I've never been in that situation so I don't know for sure.
In theory I'd be ok with it but I've never been in that situation.
Most on here are talking about trust, and yes, I'd imagine trust is a huge thing in this lifestyle, but how can you really trust that your partner won't develop feelings for someone else. No one can control who they fall for.
I think it's a great thing to see couples who have such a strong relationship that they can indulge in this lifestyle and still be committed to each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd like to think I'd be ok with my partner taking part in a sexual act with someone else if it was something I either don't want to take part in, or, if it's something I can't give her.
But I've never been in that situation so I don't know for sure.
In theory I'd be ok with it but I've never been in that situation.
Most on here are talking about trust, and yes, I'd imagine trust is a huge thing in this lifestyle, but how can you really trust that your partner won't develop feelings for someone else. No one can control who they fall for.
I think it's a great thing to see couples who have such a strong relationship that they can indulge in this lifestyle and still be committed to each other."
I agree with you that trust doesn't extend to thinking your partner could never get attached to or develop "feelings" for someone else, to me it's naive to dismiss this risk, we are only human, but in an open, trusting relationship, this is something that can be acknowledged, discussed, dealt with and moved beyond, so long as the primary relationship remains the priority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Just reading through the comments here has basically been every conversation I have brought up with my other half since i discovered this website.
But i still have a few questions:
Separating sex from love is a big stumbling block for my other half.
Jealousy is another one and the question neither of us can answer is what if we go through with it and just cant look at each other afterwards?
Have any of ye ever heard of an arrangement been made and the couple pulling out last minute (ie. in the hotel) or just as things start to get going? .....does this happen?
or have ye ever heard of a relationship that crumbled because of it?
As someone already said here "you have to be prepared to be wreckless" , Is there any way around this?
What is the normal steps to take to get into it? Is MMF/FFM best or MFMF to avoid the jealousy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMO, swinging doesn't cause the problems in a relationship, it just exposes them. Lots of talking before, during and after meets can help, but ultimately if one party is feeling pressured or coerced, it can't be a good thing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Just reading through the comments here has basically been every conversation I have brought up with my other half since i discovered this website.
But i still have a few questions:
Separating sex from love is a big stumbling block for my other half.
Jealousy is another one and the question neither of us can answer is what if we go through with it and just cant look at each other afterwards?
Have any of ye ever heard of an arrangement been made and the couple pulling out last minute (ie. in the hotel) or just as things start to get going? .....does this happen?
or have ye ever heard of a relationship that crumbled because of it?
As someone already said here "you have to be prepared to be wreckless" , Is there any way around this?
What is the normal steps to take to get into it? Is MMF/FFM best or MFMF to avoid the jealousy?"
My advice is keep talking!!! We genuinely talked for months and months before we even joined a site to talk to anyone.Its completely natural to have all those questions and worries, but first look at your relationship and how strong it is. If this is something you both genuinely want to try together and you have a strong relationship, it will survive trying swinging I'm sure. Our first 3sum we went into with the attitude of... We will either both love it or hate it and if it doesn't work for either of us we wouldn't do it again. We both went through every emotion under the sun after the meet and for days that followed but we did alot of talking and lots of reclaim sex 
Mrs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Just reading through the comments here has basically been every conversation I have brought up with my other half since i discovered this website.
But i still have a few questions:
Separating sex from love is a big stumbling block for my other half.
Jealousy is another one and the question neither of us can answer is what if we go through with it and just cant look at each other afterwards?
Have any of ye ever heard of an arrangement been made and the couple pulling out last minute (ie. in the hotel) or just as things start to get going? .....does this happen?
or have ye ever heard of a relationship that crumbled because of it?
As someone already said here "you have to be prepared to be wreckless" , Is there any way around this?
What is the normal steps to take to get into it? Is MMF/FFM best or MFMF to avoid the jealousy?
My advice is keep talking!!! We genuinely talked for months and months before we even joined a site to talk to anyone.Its completely natural to have all those questions and worries, but first look at your relationship and how strong it is. If this is something you both genuinely want to try together and you have a strong relationship, it will survive trying swinging I'm sure. Our first 3sum we went into with the attitude of... We will either both love it or hate it and if it doesn't work for either of us we wouldn't do it again. We both went through every emotion under the sun after the meet and for days that followed but we did alot of talking and lots of reclaim sex
Mrs "
I love the sound of the reclaim sex,slightly envious being single lol. |
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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago
and surrounding areas |
"How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ?? "
I've no problem sharing Mrs crazy in fact I find it very easy, caus when she out on a meet with a guy there that thing in the house that every man enjoys called peace and quite ,
I also find it easier if the woman is better looking than ur partner/wife when were playing together .
Btw I'm only joking on both fronts before the fab police come in with there battons and handcuffs lol
Mr crazy |
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"How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ??
I've no problem sharing Mrs crazy in fact I find it very easy, caus when she out on a meet with a guy there that thing in the house that every man enjoys called peace and quite ,
I also find it easier if the woman is better looking than ur partner/wife when were playing together .
Btw I'm only joking on both fronts before the fab police come in with there battons and handcuffs lol
Mr crazy "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How many men or women would honestly feel comfortable letting there partner or wife / husband go with a different man / women for sex ? Yes I know it’s called fabswingers but how many could go through with it ???or how many since joining are considering it ??
I've no problem sharing Mrs crazy in fact I find it very easy, caus when she out on a meet with a guy there that thing in the house that every man enjoys called peace and quite ,
I also find it easier if the woman is better looking than ur partner/wife when were playing together .
Btw I'm only joking on both fronts before the fab police come in with there battons and handcuffs lol
Mr crazy
"
Pith forks out haha na I’m joking mate !!!! That was a well thought out interesting answer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Just reading through the comments here has basically been every conversation I have brought up with my other half since i discovered this website.
But i still have a few questions:
Separating sex from love is a big stumbling block for my other half.
Jealousy is another one and the question neither of us can answer is what if we go through with it and just cant look at each other afterwards?
Have any of ye ever heard of an arrangement been made and the couple pulling out last minute (ie. in the hotel) or just as things start to get going? .....does this happen?
or have ye ever heard of a relationship that crumbled because of it?
As someone already said here "you have to be prepared to be wreckless" , Is there any way around this?
What is the normal steps to take to get into it? Is MMF/FFM best or MFMF to avoid the jealousy?
My advice is keep talking!!! We genuinely talked for months and months before we even joined a site to talk to anyone.Its completely natural to have all those questions and worries, but first look at your relationship and how strong it is. If this is something you both genuinely want to try together and you have a strong relationship, it will survive trying swinging I'm sure. Our first 3sum we went into with the attitude of... We will either both love it or hate it and if it doesn't work for either of us we wouldn't do it again. We both went through every emotion under the sun after the meet and for days that followed but we did alot of talking and lots of reclaim sex
Mrs "
After reading his message I had a better understanding cause I’ve had certain conversations about topics just like that on here |
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