FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Ghosting...what's your thoughts
Ghosting...what's your thoughts
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So after being away from fab a while I came back recently. One of the reasons among the many that I took place was the amount of ghosting that goes on. Since returning it's happened to me at least six times so far including this morning, I'm finding it very off putting to be honest. Why can't people just be straight up and honest and be up front about what they want or don't want rather than digging for info and or pictures and then "ghosting". What are other people's thoughts on this? |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I always believed ghosting happens when someone you arrange a meet with doesn't show. Just stopping talking isn't ghosting unless ye have met previously.
The talk running dry sometimes happens on here no matter if you are male or female.
There's no need to send pics or info unless you are comfortable it. If someone is insisting on it and you're not happy move on. I refuse to send pics or info on demand to anyone who I am newly chatting to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to ghost but not intentionally. I would be messaging someone and then someone else who I would be more interested in pops up and you just move on I don’t think it’s meant to be hurtful it’s just the online chatting makes it too easy to ignore someone as they’re not seen as real people only avatars. |
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It depends on the timeframe of your message I suppose...
People can have busy lives away from here, even more so at this present time.
There are no schools operating so maybe they just aren’t in the right mindset as you at that particular time? |
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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
I probably do it all the time id be chatting with someone in pm then id pop on the forum page get lost in time and there message might get lost or id see there message few hrs later or in a day or two time... |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
Genuinely didnt know what this was and had to look it up.
I chat to various women on here just random conversations that start in the forums and continue with private messages.
They stop and then continue every couple of days and I just assume thats a normal way it works on here since there are no meets
Didn't think anything of it to be honest and don't think its Ghosting through
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"I probably do it all the time id be chatting with someone in pm then id pop on the forum page get lost in time and there message might get lost or id see there message few hrs later or in a day or two time..."
This 
Dont mean to do it.....it just happens  |
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Is ghosting not more when you actually have a relationship of sorts and just vanish on someone, cutting off all means of communication? I wouldn't necessarily say that stopping chat with people on Fab is the same thing.
As has been said, people stop chatting for various reasons - boredom, a better offer, losing interest, chat not going anywhere, other priorities in life. Unless you're actually looking for the love of your life here, I think it's just one of these things which happens. |
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"Is ghosting not more when you actually have a relationship of sorts and just vanish on someone, cutting off all means of communication? I wouldn't necessarily say that stopping chat with people on Fab is the same thing.
As has been said, people stop chatting for various reasons - boredom, a better offer, losing interest, chat not going anywhere, other priorities in life. Unless you're actually looking for the love of your life here, I think it's just one of these things which happens."
That’s my assumption too |
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By *ateniteCouple
over a year ago
Youghal |
Also, when a couple receives a message and they reply saying "thanks but we're not interested" but then they receive subsequent messages saying "but we used to chat before" or "can you give me a reason why" and the couple ignores and deletes the repeated messages, that's not ghosting, that's ignoring someone who cant take no for an answer....just saying OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I ghost from the first message if not interested. If I engage even once I'll give reasons why I changed my mind. Forgetting about messages can happen though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also, when a couple receives a message and they reply saying "thanks but we're not interested" but then they receive subsequent messages saying "but we used to chat before" or "can you give me a reason why" and the couple ignores and deletes the repeated messages, that's not ghosting, that's ignoring someone who cant take no for an answer....just saying OP."
Totally agree with this - we despise the “Good morning” & “How are you” messages as after the 3rd or 4th they become monotonous and show that the person can’t hold a conversation.
This is the point we stop responding and especially during the current climate.
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"Also, when a couple receives a message and they reply saying "thanks but we're not interested" but then they receive subsequent messages saying "but we used to chat before" or "can you give me a reason why" and the couple ignores and deletes the repeated messages, that's not ghosting, that's ignoring someone who cant take no for an answer....just saying OP.
Totally agree with this - we despise the “Good morning” & “How are you” messages as after the 3rd or 4th they become monotonous and show that the person can’t hold a conversation.
This is the point we stop responding and especially during the current climate.
"
Exactly this  |
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"...someone else who I would be more interested in pops up and you just move on I don’t think it’s meant to be hurtful. "
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My sensibilities would dictate that it WOULD be hurtful. Whilst no one owes anyone anything on here picture this scenario: I'm talking to you in some corridor and it's all going swimmingly between us. Just then a better looking woman walks past and I immediately do a 180° turn and follow her, leaving you hanging in mid conversation.
°
My backbone is rigid enough for me to say "no thank you" and move on.
°
However if you're going to be gutless then hitting the block button is better than radio silence.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication."
I personally thought ghosting occurred when you knew the person a bit more than just a few chats online. As a few have said above couple of texts and basic conversations the chat naturally fades away and you stop texting that's just the way it is. Or something better , more shiny comes along.
Ghosting to me is more where you have spent some time in that person's company, had fun , met a few times and whoosh they just disappear. It's nasty and not nice but I've come to realise says more about the other person that they don't have the balls to say, 'this isn't what I'm looking for".
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""the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication."
I personally thought ghosting occurred when you knew the person a bit more than just a few chats online. As a few have said above couple of texts and basic conversations the chat naturally fades away and you stop texting that's just the way it is. Or something better , more shiny comes along.
Ghosting to me is more where you have spent some time in that person's company, had fun , met a few times and whoosh they just disappear. It's nasty and not nice but I've come to realise says more about the other person that they don't have the balls to say, 'this isn't what I'm looking for".
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That's more or less what I was referring to: where there is significant maturity in the conversation and it's been going on for a while, significant amount of photographs exchanged and even moved onto Kik and so forth.
However, if the chat is nascent and less than a few days old then of course it's not hurtful. Reasonable in fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I enjoy my own space and I'm allergic to bullshit and drama, so if a woman I've recently started seeing is texting me constantly or calls to see me without first making an appointment, I ghost em- I go no contact, just drop off the radar.
Some people have absolutely no idea of boundaries.  |
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By *askia_1TV/TS
over a year ago
From Dublin living in Amsterdam |
"I enjoy my own space and I'm allergic to bullshit and drama, so if a woman I've recently started seeing is texting me constantly or calls to see me without first making an appointment, I ghost em- I go no contact, just drop off the radar.
Some people have absolutely no idea of boundaries. "
Some people have no idea of respect.
Just drop off the radar? How hard is it to say, thank you but I don't think this is going anywhere |
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