I've always adopted a live and let live approach to kink. Once it's safe, sane, and consensual I don't care.
But when does kink shaming become an appropriate response? Or does it ever?
For context, I got asked if it was weird that me being deaf was a turn on. I responded honestly and said I did feel a bit weird about it.
I do feel a little odd having something I consider a disability be a turn on for someone else but I also feel that my reply was at odds with my usual tolerance for others kinks and preferences.
I'm not self conscious about my hearing, I'm very honest and open and I'll answer any questions I'm asked. So it got me wondering why I'm feeling so unusual about this.
I'd love to know others thoughts on this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've always adopted a live and let live approach to kink. Once it's safe, sane, and consensual I don't care.
But when does kink shaming become an appropriate response? Or does it ever?
For context, I got asked if it was weird that me being deaf was a turn on. I responded honestly and said I did feel a bit weird about it.
I do feel a little odd having something I consider a disability be a turn on for someone else but I also feel that my reply was at odds with my usual tolerance for others kinks and preferences.
I'm not self conscious about my hearing, I'm very honest and open and I'll answer any questions I'm asked. So it got me wondering why I'm feeling so unusual about this.
I'd love to know others thoughts on this. "
. I think you’ve answered your own question to a degree in what you said about someone’s disability.
Don’t beat yourself up. Only you know how you feel and just because you questioned such a strange request doesn’t mean you’re in any way weird. You’re only human and you have feelings... have a great day. Be safe.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
I think you were both honest in fairness
They told you that a part of you was kinky to them up front and didnt hide it
Would it be worse if they told you after a meet which i think would be wrong on their behalf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How one feels about specific kinks is down to the individual. Most sane people will have limits or boundaries which dictate their openness to new suggestions. Just becuase you're uncomfortable with something that previously was not on your radar doesnt contradict you in anyway. Nor is it either right or wrong for the person who finds it a turn on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Manipulative people often pick on something that they think a girl might be insecure about and then say they REALLY like that, because they think you would look favourably on them. This is just a guy trying to convince you that he is the one you want to fuck. Men will happily make up preferences that suit their target. It's ironic that this attitude doesn't often work. All you need is something a little different about you for them to try it. BBW/kinky/hairy/older etc etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Manipulative people often pick on something that they think a girl might be insecure about and then say they REALLY like that, because they think you would look favourably on them. This is just a guy trying to convince you that he is the one you want to fuck. Men will happily make up preferences that suit their target. It's ironic that this attitude doesn't often work. All you need is something a little different about you for them to try it. BBW/kinky/hairy/older etc etc. "
Oh my god I never even thought about that. I just took it as a genuine kink. But to be totally honest I started to think about why someone would be turned on by the fact that I can't hear which led me to imagine scenarios where I would be left to feel quite vulnerable.
I thought I was just being a bit paro but you've definitely uncovered a darker element that I definitely would have never considered. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Manipulative people often pick on something that they think a girl might be insecure about and then say they REALLY like that, because they think you would look favourably on them. This is just a guy trying to convince you that he is the one you want to fuck. Men will happily make up preferences that suit their target. It's ironic that this attitude doesn't often work. All you need is something a little different about you for them to try it. BBW/kinky/hairy/older etc etc.
Oh my god I never even thought about that. I just took it as a genuine kink. But to be totally honest I started to think about why someone would be turned on by the fact that I can't hear which led me to imagine scenarios where I would be left to feel quite vulnerable.
I thought I was just being a bit paro but you've definitely uncovered a darker element that I definitely would have never considered. "
To be fair this could not be the case as well. Could be a guy expressing himself. If you don’t like it tell it to him and move on.
There are some really strange kinks. Let’s think everyone is good until we know for sure. The way you responded is completely okay. And is not a problem all at.
Don’t worry and be happy  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Manipulative people often pick on something that they think a girl might be insecure about and then say they REALLY like that, because they think you would look favourably on them. This is just a guy trying to convince you that he is the one you want to fuck. Men will happily make up preferences that suit their target. It's ironic that this attitude doesn't often work. All you need is something a little different about you for them to try it. BBW/kinky/hairy/older etc etc.
Oh my god I never even thought about that. I just took it as a genuine kink. But to be totally honest I started to think about why someone would be turned on by the fact that I can't hear which led me to imagine scenarios where I would be left to feel quite vulnerable.
I thought I was just being a bit paro but you've definitely uncovered a darker element that I definitely would have never considered. "
That aside, I think it's ok to say you're not here to fulfill anyone's kinks, but rather to be appreciated for who you are. And also it's an immediate block from us any time someone makes us feel creeped out  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *erwinMan
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
It can be a turn on that you might have a more sensitive sens or people are creeps lol anyway for me it's a common courtesy to respect anybody without playing dumb or looking for a freaky perverted thing. You are too nice to be honest but gameplay to you as you seems to be a really good and nice pretty girl |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Theres definitely always "someone" out there that wants to manipulate you OP. But then theres also others who might genuinely find it a turn on. Who knows or can explain how we all wired... I know I had my eyes opened on here with what some folk like to get up to
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This person might be genuine, they might not, how you feel about it is how you feel, it doesn't mean you are shaming anyone by not being enthusiastic about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Manipulative people often pick on something that they think a girl might be insecure about and then say they REALLY like that, because they think you would look favourably on them. This is just a guy trying to convince you that he is the one you want to fuck. Men will happily make up preferences that suit their target. It's ironic that this attitude doesn't often work. All you need is something a little different about you for them to try it. BBW/kinky/hairy/older etc etc. "
wow!! Never thought about that. That's a very very interesting perspective..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This person could be genuinely turned on by you in particular and she's the deafness as something unique to you and find's it a turn on. But if it is just because you are deaf and he has never tried that or whatever way he worded it then I would not feel comfortable with that either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
