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By *iwie!Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Agree that FLIFE is a good shout however, a lot in the BDSM scene is non sexual. You have to be up front with what you want/want to do. It isn't easy being Dominant (it's more than Just telling someone what to do)and you'll get nowhere if you don't start, slowly but surely and learn your craft. I've been active since June 2013. |
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"I'm looking to get into the BDSM scene. As a Dom for female subs. NOTHING HARD OR EXTREME new looking to explore
Any advice? Tips hints etc.
Cheers all. "
advice? Work on how you explain to someone else what being a dom means to you, and what it means for them if they say yes. DOM is too small a word to do all the heavy lifting people ask it to...
Mr icebreaker |
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By *iwie!Woman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
" We’ve enjoyed the cross over from the bdsm scene as we find swing fun more sexual based ,,,where as the purists for want of a better word in the bdsm scene totally frown upon the merest hint of sexual element in any bdsm play ... ,,,, there’s a place for both genres in our various lifestyles  "
Hey it isn't that sex is bad, is just sometimes the sex isn't the sole focus and a lot of people forget the seriousness of BDSM, and that learning how to play safely gets put on the back burner and I've seen people use the scene as a meat market to get laid. I mix sex and BDSM but I also know the power dynamics and respect in the scene.
I think there's a huge cultural divide too. When I tried to attend swinging events years ago I found it boozy and that people blurred the lines between consent whereas as BDSM scenes tend to be sober, because what we do can cause harm less likely if you're sober and if it happens you're response time is better. As well as when I attended cross over events at my local club again people from the swinging side didn't seem interested in learning skills just how to get off in a kinky manner, nothing wrong with that but it's MORE than that x |
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" We’ve enjoyed the cross over from the bdsm scene as we find swing fun more sexual based ,,,where as the purists for want of a better word in the bdsm scene totally frown upon the merest hint of sexual element in any bdsm play ... ,,,, there’s a place for both genres in our various lifestyles
Hey it isn't that sex is bad, is just sometimes the sex isn't the sole focus and a lot of people forget the seriousness of BDSM, and that learning how to play safely gets put on the back burner and I've seen people use the scene as a meat market to get laid. I mix sex and BDSM but I also know the power dynamics and respect in the scene.
I think there's a huge cultural divide too. When I tried to attend swinging events years ago I found it boozy and that people blurred the lines between consent whereas as BDSM scenes tend to be sober, because what we do can cause harm less likely if you're sober and if it happens you're response time is better. As well as when I attended cross over events at my local club again people from the swinging side didn't seem interested in learning skills just how to get off in a kinky manner, nothing wrong with that but it's MORE than that x"
BDSM is an awful lot more than that. I've crossed over from that scene to the swinging scene.. I enjoy both scenes v much and you can mix it up a little but bdsm is a very serious scene and you do need to research and learn techniques properly. Attend munches, workshops and events, And Bdsm and alcohol do not work well together. Too much drink and the safety aspect goes right out of the window. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being serious about what one does ( BDSM ) does not mean it cannot also be lighthearted in its implementation . My partner and i have some of the funniest moments ever during play and fondly reminisce when the cuffs are off .
Yes because of what we do , risks are present and one should always respect those risks . However there is also so much within our kink which is not risky at all , and can be enjoyed like any other .
Ive always classed myself as a fetishist who partakes in BDSM . My partner and i have clearly defined roles Dominatrix /subnissive . This never goes away , its a mindset . So even if we just laid at night enjoying each others bodys ( as many couples do ) the protocol is still observed . We both enjoy , breath play , My partner likes to exeriance it too , it intensifies her orgasm .. To us thats part of our " sex " And there is much much more . Theres plenty of " sex " between us .. and a whole heap of intamacy . The mental connection is amazing ! .. There can be a crossover between BDSM and Swinging i believe , its just slightly more difficult to define .
Its not like Kinksters dont enjoy the company of others , they/ we do imensly . Its just finding a happy medium between the two .. And no we have not found it yet .. |
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