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What do you look for in a first message?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I honestly have no idea what to put sometimes and curious what you look for. Makes it hard when they don’t put much in their bio. Do I just message a cheesy pickline or a joke or what I’m looking for? |
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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago
Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk |
Personally I look for something more than just hi or how are you, something polite, try saying why you've chosen to message that profile and don't go in all guns blazing it can feel intimating for the recipient
But that's just me hope it helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi mate
I struggle too
What gets u the most replies ?? "
Obviously somthin that makes them laugh is best but as u say if theres not much to go on i dont even usually bother |
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"Makes it hard when they don’t put much in their bio. "
Then don’t message them. It smacks of desperation. I spend half my time in the forums suggesting that two lines of profile text on a guy’s profile doesn’t cut the mustard. Why should it be different for women? |
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I’ll be honest I think I probably only reply to about 10% of my messages if that. If I can tell the message has been written personally for me. Mentions some profile details or even some pic detail then it’s more likely to get a reply. I don’t bother to reply to “hi” “what you up to” yadda yadda. I also won’t reply to an obvious copy and paste message. The first line of my profile says that I mass delete all friend requests and winks also so I delete them too. My profile mentions I’m tattooed in the headline bit but explains in the profile that I remove them for public photos so I also don’t reply to “I love your tattoos” cos well clearly they can’t see them ha. I may sound harsh but give me personal and I’ll give you my time. X |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Read their profile and message something that shows you have and that you are interested in them and not just messaging everyone in a 30 mile radius. We reply to all messages but our reply depends on the message received, there isn’t many that capture our attention that much that it peaks an interest in carrying on the conversation that much.
It’s nice to get something original and maybe add humour to your message if they come across as fun, everyone’s different but I would say just a how’s you doesn’t cut it with anyone. Best of luck. |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
Respectful, articulate, non-text speak, from someone who has read my profile - and if they don't fit it and are messaging me, they at least acknowledge that.
I like a funny, or engaging non-sexual comment, or question, to get a conversation going. Pics help too.
This will all lead me to look at your profile before replying. If there are only dick pics on display, or barely any bio, it tends to put me off a bit.
I will however always reply to these types of messages.
They form only about 5% of the messages I receive, so if you crack this, you're already ahead.
Good luck. |
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"I honestly have no idea what to put sometimes and curious what you look for. Makes it hard when they don’t put much in their bio. Do I just message a cheesy pickline or a joke or what I’m looking for? "
Why ask? Does it have to be one, or could it be all three?
Every individual here is different, and each has their own individual triggers. You are also an individual and have yours. If you think there is a magic message that makes knickers drop off then you are sadly mistaken.
Make your message as individual as you and the recipient are. Show genuine interest in them. Include a face pic, not a dick pic and hope for the best. |
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We like a first message to show that someone has actually read our profile and written a friendly fun message based on that. We’ll always reply to a message that has been well written and interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be good for all guys to read this thread!
I try and make all my messages personal and polite - try and inject a bit of humour. And send a face pic ... cock shots are on the profile but face pic in the messages  |
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"Be good for all guys to read this thread!
I try and make all my messages personal and polite - try and inject a bit of humour. And send a face pic ... cock shots are on the profile but face pic in the messages "
Why, a lot of us know how to write a good message already. |
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"I’ll be honest I think I probably only reply to about 10% of my messages if that. If I can tell the message has been written personally for me. Mentions some profile details or even some pic detail then it’s more likely to get a reply. I don’t bother to reply to “hi” “what you up to” yadda yadda. I also won’t reply to an obvious copy and paste message. The first line of my profile says that I mass delete all friend requests and winks also so I delete them too. My profile mentions I’m tattooed in the headline bit but explains in the profile that I remove them for public photos so I also don’t reply to “I love your tattoos” cos well clearly they can’t see them ha. I may sound harsh but give me personal and I’ll give you my time. X"
I got told once that commenting on her pictures was creepy.
This was from someone with about a dozen pictures of her feet and I'd said something along the lines of "you clearly like shoes".... |
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"Makes it hard when they don’t put much in their bio.
Then don’t message them. It smacks of desperation. I spend half my time in the forums suggesting that two lines of profile text on a guy’s profile doesn’t cut the mustard. Why should it be different for women? "
Spot on. Detailed rules only seem to generally apply to single guys quite often - unless we exercise our own standards too.
I'll always look for the single females and couples who seem to have a single playing field type approach. While appreciating they often get a lot of awful messages there are those of us who do make a lot of effort too, but too often find ourselves treated in the same way. As a result I'm often amused when a profile states a woman or couple will reply if sent a polite and respectful message with face photos attached, as many still fail to do even that. It's undoubtedly true they get total disrespect from some - and a ridiculous amount of messages which are impossible to respond to, but they should make good on what they say or not say it at all. It's a minefield for all when trying to tiptoe through this thing, so we have to apply our own set of standards and be true to them, or say sod everybody, which isn't a good approach in my book.
I'll ALWAYS be totally genuine as its the only way to build a worthy reputation, as without it we're going nowhere fast. |
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We look for a message from someone that seems to have been enthusiastic about contacting us. 'hey how's use' or similar just goes straight in the bin. Copy/paste messages are also easy to spot and get binned off.
Something that says we've sparked the imagination of the sender gets our attention. Of course it also depends on the sender. If we don't fancy them back or their profile is a negative swamp or is a stream of cock or stretchy fanny pics then we probably won't reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be difficult.
On one hand it's a sex site, I know the women on it want sex.
I'm here for sex, but I'm not enough of a twat I suppose to just go
Hi, your gorgeous, I would love to lick up your leg sometime
As I feel a bit pervy.
But then some women want that.
Some women dont.
Some women want you to be respectful, interesting, want to know about you
Some just want filth.
The problem is differentiating between which woman wants what before messaging.
So, I try and mostly keep it non sexual if I can, try and be witty.
I'm no Captain popular, but I do ok. |
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. Great comment, reflects a clever mind.