FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Are there many others like us?
Are there many others like us?
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Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves? |
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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago
Stafford |
Theres loads after more than just a fuck and go. Me and hubs included. We have no problems just meeting like minded folk for drinks and conversation never leading anywhere. Because it can be difficult to talk about this with friends. |
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"Theres loads after more than just a fuck and go. Me and hubs included. We have no problems just meeting like minded folk for drinks and conversation never leading anywhere. Because it can be difficult to talk about this with friends. "
I don't know about you guys, but for me personally there's just not much fun from a random one-off encounter where there's no connection? It tends to feel pretty transactional and flat.
Can't beat good conversation and a few laughs. The fact that it might lead to sex is just a liberating bonus! |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We like to chat and hang out with our meets before and after play. We will meet just for socials but we do like to play.
Mostly because we get very little free time to meet. But we will meet socially. In fact we have some friends we met via fab which we hang out with a lot.
We also like BDSM play. |
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"We like to chat and hang out with our meets before and after play. We will meet just for socials but we do like to play.
Mostly because we get very little free time to meet. But we will meet socially. In fact we have some friends we met via fab which we hang out with a lot.
We also like BDSM play."
That's understandable - we're both child-free and mostly have weekends to ourselves, so we're fortunate in that respect.
We had a meet not too long ago with a single gent for our first ever bi mmf which - whilst a great experience - felt a bit empty since we met on the night, and had perhaps 15 minutes either side of the play and then off he went.
Having had a few different experiences now, we've talked about a swinger's weekend where we're free to play as and when the mood strikes. Have you ever tried anything like that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience there’s very few that prefer the “fuck n go” side of swinging except single guys...for us/me that’s not swinging...that’s just getting your end away, swinging is much more than that |
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By *eefdoddusCouple
over a year ago
Scottish Borders |
No you're not alone. We'd suggest, in our minds anyway, you are probably describing more a "swinging" lifestyle rather than the "find a fuck" type of experience.
There's been lots of conversations on here over the years about whether this is a sex site or a swinging site..?
We've had lots of fun on here and elsewhere without actually having to play with others.
Have fun ..x |
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"Whenever a thread like this comes up quite a few people reply saying they want similar. We'd like it too but it's very elusive"
Yes definitely! In an ideal world we'd love to have a little interesting back and forth, either here or at a club, invite he / she / them round for a social with absolutely no intention or plan to play, but with no qualms about it happening were the evening to go that way.
Conversation on Fab seems to tail off after the first message (assuming that's anything more than copy / pasta to begin with) for the most part. I guess that suggests that the person or couple was really just looking for something to materialise immediately.
That's not to say there aren't similar people on Fab of course, but as you say they're elusive (or perhaps the others are just more forward in their quest for a quick poke). |
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"No you're not alone. We'd suggest, in our minds anyway, you are probably describing more a "swinging" lifestyle rather than the "find a fuck" type of experience.
There's been lots of conversations on here over the years about whether this is a sex site or a swinging site..?
We've had lots of fun on here and elsewhere without actually having to play with others.
Have fun ..x"
That's an interesting perspective actually. As far as it goes I'd happily class myself as a newbie insofar as that I've had a half dozen swinging experiences over the past couple of years so I can't claim to be an expert. In that case yes, we're definitely not after the sex site aspect. Plus being kinksters a lot of our meets revolve around fulfilling fantasies for all involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves? "
Do you have a couples profile? |
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"I’m in for swinging friends, just that I can’t find any  "
Yeah I've spent a little time on Fab as a single guy and it's ridiculously hard work. I'd never even contemplate a copy / pasta message or one-liner, and actually enjoy reading profiles but even then it's tough going. I guess because most single blokes say the same whether it's true or not. That and I'm no George Clooney so with 300 messages from willing blokes to choose from, it's like winning the lottery  |
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"Whenever a thread like this comes up quite a few people reply saying they want similar. We'd like it too but it's very elusive
Yes definitely! In an ideal world we'd love to have a little interesting back and forth, either here or at a club, invite he / she / them round for a social with absolutely no intention or plan to play, but with no qualms about it happening were the evening to go that way.
Conversation on Fab seems to tail off after the first message (assuming that's anything more than copy / pasta to begin with) for the most part. I guess that suggests that the person or couple was really just looking for something to materialise immediately.
That's not to say there aren't similar people on Fab of course, but as you say they're elusive (or perhaps the others are just more forward in their quest for a quick poke). "
Let me say firstly that neither of us has any problem with people who want "a quick poke"  . There's room for us all.
I think one of the main difficulties is that within the bounds of what you describe there are so many possible variables. |
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves?
Do you have a couples profile? "
We do yes - I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention it on the forums? Also I think we've been the the same club a few times, but we haven't spoken as yet (we're usually messing about outside as she's a smoker). |
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"In my experience there’s very few that prefer the “fuck n go” side of swinging except single guys...for us/me that’s not swinging...that’s just getting your end away, swinging is much more than that "
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If you're localish and would like a purely social drink or coffee just to chat in a relaxed atmosphere get in touch.
The above is a line from our profile. So far in over a year of having it there one person has taken us up on it. |
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This is exactly the direction we've taken. So many of our closest friends are from the swinging world, some we still play with and some we don't but we have the greatest of open conversations, so many laughs and fantastic times. It lends itself to a degree of intimacy and trust we're comfortable with while not encroaching on our own level of connection. We didn't go looking for it initially and still have the odd one off in clubs and at parties and that has it's place within the lifestyle but we like the level of comfort with a few others we have... |
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"If you're localish and would like a purely social drink or coffee just to chat in a relaxed atmosphere get in touch.
The above is a line from our profile. So far in over a year of having it there one person has taken us up on it."
In all honesty if I were a single bloke I'd worry about coming across as being fake asking for just a social, as daft as it sounds. I'd be more than happy for a social meet, but wouldn't be surprised if most couples felt there was an ulterior motive |
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"This is exactly the direction we've taken. So many of our closest friends are from the swinging world, some we still play with and some we don't but we have the greatest of open conversations, so many laughs and fantastic times. It lends itself to a degree of intimacy and trust we're comfortable with while not encroaching on our own level of connection. We didn't go looking for it initially and still have the odd one off in clubs and at parties and that has it's place within the lifestyle but we like the level of comfort with a few others we have..."
Absolutely - we've made a few friends through the lifestyle as well. You're right it's great to have that openness without the expectation of play. |
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"If you're localish and would like a purely social drink or coffee just to chat in a relaxed atmosphere get in touch.
The above is a line from our profile. So far in over a year of having it there one person has taken us up on it.
In all honesty if I were a single bloke I'd worry about coming across as being fake asking for just a social, as daft as it sounds. I'd be more than happy for a social meet, but wouldn't be surprised if most couples felt there was an ulterior motive "
Our experience has been that there usually is. That is just one line from our profile, the rest is dedicated to play meets.
We've accepted that most people don't want just social meets from here, which is fine there's no reason why they should. We have been to organised socials which are mostly great. Clubs are few and far between in this neck of the woods so it's knitting club for us 
|
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"We class ourselves as primarily naturists who swing if we meet people we get on with and found a connection with. We have met people and swapped but like to socialise and get to know people too."
Oh wow, that's intriguing! I'm quite the exhibitionist, and have flirted with the idea of giving naturism a try. Is it true that it's usually not geared towards swinging / sexualisation in general? |
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"If you're localish and would like a purely social drink or coffee just to chat in a relaxed atmosphere get in touch.
The above is a line from our profile. So far in over a year of having it there one person has taken us up on it.
In all honesty if I were a single bloke I'd worry about coming across as being fake asking for just a social, as daft as it sounds. I'd be more than happy for a social meet, but wouldn't be surprised if most couples felt there was an ulterior motive
Our experience has been that there usually is. That is just one line from our profile, the rest is dedicated to play meets.
We've accepted that most people don't want just social meets from here, which is fine there's no reason why they should. We have been to organised socials which are mostly great. Clubs are few and far between in this neck of the woods so it's knitting club for us
"
Ahh well in that case the challenge is corrupting the neighbours and knitting club  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Quite like a flirty, seductive social with a hot couple, especially a bit of touching or under table play , okay with clubs for a laugh with friends but definitely don’t want to have sex without anyone there, primarily looking for adventurous sex with new or existing friends though not just acquiring new friends, a little wary when I hear the social side is “as important” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves?
Do you have a couples profile?
We do yes - I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention it on the forums? Also I think we've been the the same club a few times, but we haven't spoken as yet (we're usually messing about outside as she's a smoker). "
Maybe add the name of it to your single profile too? A lot of guys say they have a fb/gf on their profile but no one believes it...adding the name gives credence that your not just another single guy pretending....it may help...and good luck in your search x |
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By *nicecplCouple
over a year ago
TELFORD |
"We class ourselves as primarily naturists who swing if we meet people we get on with and found a connection with. We have met people and swapped but like to socialise and get to know people too.
Oh wow, that's intriguing! I'm quite the exhibitionist, and have flirted with the idea of giving naturism a try. Is it true that it's usually not geared towards swinging / sexualisation in general? "
Yes naturism is purely about being naked amongst others and anything sexual is frowned upon,however there seems to be lots of swingers who are also naturists. |
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves?
Do you have a couples profile?
We do yes - I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention it on the forums? Also I think we've been the the same club a few times, but we haven't spoken as yet (we're usually messing about outside as she's a smoker).
Maybe add the name of it to your single profile too? A lot of guys say they have a fb/gf on their profile but no one believes it...adding the name gives credence that your not just another single guy pretending....it may help...and good luck in your search x"
You mean to say I don't look trustworthy!? 
You're right though - we see quite a lot of that ourselves. The good old "Mrs isn't well at the minute" stuff. I only updated the profile yesterday, but I shall add it in there
I'll drag the other half over when I see you at a club next - I'm usually wearing a ridiculous suit so not easily missed. |
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"We class ourselves as primarily naturists who swing if we meet people we get on with and found a connection with. We have met people and swapped but like to socialise and get to know people too.
Oh wow, that's intriguing! I'm quite the exhibitionist, and have flirted with the idea of giving naturism a try. Is it true that it's usually not geared towards swinging / sexualisation in general? Yes naturism is purely about being naked amongst others and anything sexual is frowned upon,however there seems to be lots of swingers who are also naturists."
Thanks for your reply - I find it so interesting. Being 29 I dare say seeing people naked still often evokes sexual thoughts, even though being fairly experienced in the kink scene it's commonplace. If swingers do head to these sorts of places, is it all fairly platonic throughout the day but changes at night? |
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By *ixen500Couple
over a year ago
some where near shropshire |
"Theres loads after more than just a fuck and go. Me and hubs included. We have no problems just meeting like minded folk for drinks and conversation never leading anywhere. Because it can be difficult to talk about this with friends.
I don't know about you guys, but for me personally there's just not much fun from a random one-off encounter where there's no connection? It tends to feel pretty transactional and flat.
Can't beat good conversation and a few laughs. The fact that it might lead to sex is just a liberating bonus! "
Quite agree ... |
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Hiya! I’m the other half of the CuriousKinkster...think he has got my profile name on his profile. We need to combine really!
Nice to read that there are others like us! Personally I get a little worried if we meet someone as I’m not able to comfortable play with someone that I’m just not attracted too, so prefer things to begin as social so that there’s no pressure either way! |
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves? "
Not at all this is me too .... Often attend things and don't play, I'm still happy and have had fun. Made a lot if friends too.
You aren't too far away from me so drop me a message sometime and I'll let you know what events and parties I'll be at and perhaps we can say hi x |
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves?
Not at all this is me too .... Often attend things and don't play, I'm still happy and have had fun. Made a lot if friends too.
You aren't too far away from me so drop me a message sometime and I'll let you know what events and parties I'll be at and perhaps we can say hi x"
Absolutely - we're regulars at Attic party nights, and are trying out Libs for the first time this month (for a swinger's event anyway). Had a peek at your profile - perhaps you could show us some rope work? It's something I'm yet to venture into but would love to explore! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves? "
This is me too completely. I enjoy the social side of swinging very much and have made some wonderful friends yet play very little. I, like you, am into bdsm so find vanilla play doesn’t do it for me or if it was vanilla it would have to be with a very special man. |
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"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves?
This is me too completely. I enjoy the social side of swinging very much and have made some wonderful friends yet play very little. I, like you, am into bdsm so find vanilla play doesn’t do it for me or if it was vanilla it would have to be with a very special man. "
Yeah absolutely. Inside of a relationship I'm more then happy with more vanilla stuff day to day since that's just how life goes, but if I'm going to go out of my way to find a meet of some description, it's much more appealing to me if it's got that kinky / fantasy aspect to it.
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By *S93Couple
over a year ago
Preston |
Were also like you, I would even go as far as saying we like the social side more than the play, if the connection is there and the sexual tension the play can be incredible, we have some friends we have met on here and havent played with, and some we have and still meet for coffees and hang with or families, it's great plus as others have mentioned you can also talk about this life style as it's hard to with other friends who arent into this.
Were new to the whole BDSM world but were slowly exploring it with eachother and loving it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are plenty of folks such as yourselves, frustratingly difficult to find, and then you have to factor in the 4 way compatibility. It's a wonder any of us get quality meets ! |
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Definitely yes.
I love kink and bdsm even have an attic dungeon playroom with hand made furniture.
All done by me.
The trouble with Norfolk is that on the most part they are all talk.
So i spend more time dusting it and covering it up.
Hey ho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is exactly what we prefer..making good friends who we can take our time with if/when we choose to go further.
We've had some really good social and completely vanilla nights out with friends we've made off here
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm a single guy and just seem to be classed as 'some guy after a quick fuck'
It does my suede in. I'm looking to make friends, enjoy their company and to have a bit of excitement in my life that seems to be just routine, routine, routine.
I dont take the site too seriously, I never expect a reply, never expect anything really. I'm just myself.
I've met a couple of awesome people so far who I talk to outside of the site, mainly as friends and not at all always sexual.
Just because we are openminded, or filthpots, it doesnt mean we have to be 24/7.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In our opinion and experience swingers are generally not about the "smash and dash"
Go to any club or party and there's generally plenty of social interaction going on and plenty of people don't necessarily play every time
For some going to these events its just about networking and being social with the view to finding playmates for the future.
We believe that this should be celebrated and definitely not shameful |
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"Were also like you, I would even go as far as saying we like the social side more than the play, if the connection is there and the sexual tension the play can be incredible, we have some friends we have met on here and havent played with, and some we have and still meet for coffees and hang with or families, it's great plus as others have mentioned you can also talk about this life style as it's hard to with other friends who arent into this.
Were new to the whole BDSM world but were slowly exploring it with eachother and loving it
"
It's such good fub isn't it? I remember when I first got into it that it all seemed so daunting, and there's a lot of people with a strong opinion on what they believe constitutes 'proper' bdsm, but the truth is that it's whatever you make it. Fast forward a few years and I barely have room to store the toys under my bed! |
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"Definitely yes.
I love kink and bdsm even have an attic dungeon playroom with hand made furniture.
All done by me.
The trouble with Norfolk is that on the most part they are all talk.
So i spend more time dusting it and covering it up.
Hey ho"
Very nice! I'm not nearly DIY-minded enough for that unfortunately. It's always great to see what people have managed to put together themselves though. |
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"I'm a single guy and just seem to be classed as 'some guy after a quick fuck'
It does my suede in. I'm looking to make friends, enjoy their company and to have a bit of excitement in my life that seems to be just routine, routine, routine.
I dont take the site too seriously, I never expect a reply, never expect anything really. I'm just myself.
I've met a couple of awesome people so far who I talk to outside of the site, mainly as friends and not at all always sexual.
Just because we are openminded, or filthpots, it doesnt mean we have to be 24/7.
"
For sure - the handful of decent single blokes have such a hard time of it thanks to the more in-your-face thirsty guys. Its a shame because you wind up being tarred with the same brush but it's easy to see why it happens.
Seems like you approach it the right way though. Stick to being genuine and go from there I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We're not into the BDSM part (well, not with others......yet) but we certainly have to know people a little first, if we can't talk/relate to them then we most likely wouldn't want to go further with them.
We've found there's a lot of couples on here who will say they are interested and will play along to get a quick shag so we now tend towards looking to meet people in clubs first.
That's not to say we have to be best friends, just some level of connection, friendship, mutual respect and manners are required first. |
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"We're not into the BDSM part (well, not with others......yet) but we certainly have to know people a little first, if we can't talk/relate to them then we most likely wouldn't want to go further with them.
We've found there's a lot of couples on here who will say they are interested and will play along to get a quick shag so we now tend towards looking to meet people in clubs first.
That's not to say we have to be best friends, just some level of connection, friendship, mutual respect and manners are required first. "
Yeah, we actually said the same this morning. I get why some single blokes will say anything to get a meet out of it, but couples doing it is a little more difficult to understand. There's plenty of other couples who are happy to meet and play immediately, so there's no real need for the charade and it subsequently just makes it harder for everyone else.
A good gauge for the small number of meets we've had is whether or not the other person / couple put any effort into a bit of back and forth on Fab. If we've met at a club it's much easier because you get a feel for whether you're getting along or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A good gauge for the small number of meets we've had is whether or not the other person / couple put any effort into a bit of back and forth on Fab. If we've met at a club it's much easier because you get a feel for whether you're getting along or not. "
Our method is that if things all seem to match on preferences and after a few messages suggesting we got on then we'll suggest a social meet in a bar or pub. That seems to put off a lot of people who we figure are either fantasists, men pretending to be couples or people who just want to rack up numbers.
We've had a fair few couples say that there's no need for us to meet for a social first as we can do a social at theirs and decide if we want to play at the same time with "no pressure", they are the ones we are suspicious of as the reason we want to do a social meet first is so we can both discuss if we're happy to take things further as a couple rather than have one of us be reluctant and the other keen and end up with someone being unhappy. |
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"In my experience there’s very few that prefer the “fuck n go” side of swinging except single guys...for us/me that’s not swinging...that’s just getting your end away, swinging is much more than that "
Bit of a generalisation about single guys miss go1den...... |
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"Whenever a thread like this comes up quite a few people reply saying they want similar. We'd like it too but it's very elusive"
When threads like this come up the amount of men who say they want this just to get a shag lol tbh I don't believe anything anyone says action speaks louder than words especially with guys with no verification to back it up x ps this is not meant as a dig it's just my general opinion only |
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By *uto564Man
over a year ago
Widnes |
"Afternoon all!
Been on Fab for a few years, and as part of a couple for the past year or so, and I wondered whether there were many people in a similar boat to us.
Basically, we're kinksters who enjoy a good deal of bdsm play, and enjoy the social side of swinging. We very rarely play, and never for the sake of a quick shag. For us, we really want to meet awesome new people, make friends, and maybe even bang a few of 'em. I guess that makes us fake swingers, but we're quite happy going to a club, having a few drinks and giggles with people we meet there.
Even before meeting as a couple I never fancied the smash and dash part of swinging. There must be others similar to ourselves? "
we are the same like going to clubs and connecting with like minded people... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest we go to clubs and don’t expect anything from it . If anyone asks what we’re looking for the answer is always the same , we’re there for time away from normal life , adult conversation.we won’t play with just anyone just because we’re at a swingers club , We spend most of our evenings in the smoking area because that’s where we seem to socialise the most.
Mrs will literally start a conversation with anyone and some of our best nights so far have been on occasions where we didn’t play (not even with each other). |
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By *andy2123Couple
over a year ago
Portsmouth |
We love all the banter you get from meeting people, having a few drinks, then if it happens, that's great, if not there is no problem at all with us, we just like to go with the flow, we never expect anything more from people. The only trouble we are having with meeting people is our age now, but that's no problem. Xx |
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"Whenever a thread like this comes up quite a few people reply saying they want similar. We'd like it too but it's very elusive
When threads like this come up the amount of men who say they want this just to get a shag lol tbh I don't believe anything anyone says action speaks louder than words especially with guys with no verification to back it up x ps this is not meant as a dig it's just my general opinion only "
I've absolutely no doubt you've got your reasons for feeling that way, and it sucks that it's a thing that happens. We've encountered a bit of it, but nothing too major. It's a detriment to those who do genuinely just want to find good friends, great socials and - when it feels right for all involved - a bit of play as well.
On the plus side (and I don't mean to sound too offensive here) a lot of the people who try it on like that are muppets anyway so it's reasonably easy to tell them apart from the genuine ones in my experience. Still though, it's a waste of time and a huge pain in the ass! |
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"To be honest we go to clubs and don’t expect anything from it . If anyone asks what we’re looking for the answer is always the same , we’re there for time away from normal life , adult conversation.we won’t play with just anyone just because we’re at a swingers club , We spend most of our evenings in the smoking area because that’s where we seem to socialise the most.
Mrs will literally start a conversation with anyone and some of our best nights so far have been on occasions where we didn’t play (not even with each other)."
Are you... Our Welsh counterparts!?
Sounds like almost the exact same scenario as with us. I don't smoke but C does, and that tends to be where we have the most laughs. It's a shame because I've no intention of taking up smoking, but it really is the most social place in a club I've found.
To be fair, even your profile sounds pretty close to what we enjoy. Always nice to bump into fellow perverts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahhh we’re not welsh , actually from near Birmingham haha . Although we of course love to play (otherwise we wouldn’t be classed as swingers) we love getting away from the kids , work and bills and just enjoying conversation with likeminded adults ! When you go to chilled out clubs like chameleons you realise that there’s a lot of people out there who just want the same . No pressure chilled out evenings where it doesn’t matter if you play or not. We’re not ones for sitting in the bar area , find it difficult to socialise in those situations but put us on a deck chair in a smoking area , half or even fully naked and we come to life ! |
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"Ahhh we’re not welsh , actually from near Birmingham haha . Although we of course love to play (otherwise we wouldn’t be classed as swingers) we love getting away from the kids , work and bills and just enjoying conversation with likeminded adults ! When you go to chilled out clubs like chameleons you realise that there’s a lot of people out there who just want the same . No pressure chilled out evenings where it doesn’t matter if you play or not. We’re not ones for sitting in the bar area , find it difficult to socialise in those situations but put us on a deck chair in a smoking area , half or even fully naked and we come to life ! "
Ahh okay - we were over your way for NYE actually. Tried Xtasia for the first time. Same story there actually - no intention of playing (C wasn't well anyway) but had a great time chatting to a few people we met on the night.
We're yet to make it to Chams, although a friend very much enjoys it and sings it's praises so we're hoping to head over soon and see what all the fuss is about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A good gauge for the small number of meets we've had is whether or not the other person / couple put any effort into a bit of back and forth on Fab. If we've met at a club it's much easier because you get a feel for whether you're getting along or not.
Our method is that if things all seem to match on preferences and after a few messages suggesting we got on then we'll suggest a social meet in a bar or pub. That seems to put off a lot of people who we figure are either fantasists, men pretending to be couples or people who just want to rack up numbers.
We've had a fair few couples say that there's no need for us to meet for a social first as we can do a social at theirs and decide if we want to play at the same time with "no pressure", they are the ones we are suspicious of as the reason we want to do a social meet first is so we can both discuss if we're happy to take things further as a couple rather than have one of us be reluctant and the other keen and end up with someone being unhappy. "
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The social side of swinging is really important to us. We have a large circle of swinging friends but haven't played with many of them. We love their company and have weekends away together in large groups. There's nothing like being in the company of like minded non-judgemental people. We don't arrange meets outside of a club environment and if we go to a club and don't play it isn't an issue. We just enjoy the vibe and go with the flow x |
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By *aznlouCouple
over a year ago
co durham |
We would quite like friends with benefits, who we can do general socialising with regardless of whether that night you play or not. Obviously if both bi then that’s a bonus. We’ve only had 1 private meet with a single man & usually meet at our local club but we know that doesn’t suit everyone. |
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