FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > The lost art of conversation.
The lost art of conversation.
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hi all, don't know if any others here have found this but when we chat to potential ladies the conversation is very stilted, we could compose the next great sonet or something (probably not lol) just to get a one word response. Is it to much to ask for a conversation? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I tend to make no effort if the message I've received makes no effort or gives me nothing to respond to. For example, if I get a message that simply states "how are you?", I'll reply "fine, thanks. You?" Or if I get "nice profile, love your pics", I'll reply "thanks."
If I'm messaging someone, I read their profile, look closely at their pics, and start a conversation based on something I've read or seen that I'm interested in. It could be anything at all- an object in the background of a photo, an offhand quip about an interest or even something they've said that I relate to in the forums. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lets fuck now is hardly a conversation. Thats what some on here play.
Love a proper conversation to get a feel for someone, before feeling them in person  
Or if they “ speeeeeek lk dis & i cnt mke out wt they are sayin” then its unlikely to go anywhere!
Talk to me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its strange how people seem to think brevity is saving time but it just means , everyone is poorer for knowing less about the people they are contacting, "
Totally agree, conversation isn't hard, answer and ask questions, throw in the odd joke and yiure off. Your personality comes through in messages and if you cant put effort into them we question whether you will between the sheets |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always try to craft a long email (humble brag  ) and it appears to get a decent response.
Even if it's a thank you & polite 'No' I still appreciate the effort in the response! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always try to craft a long email (humble brag ) and it appears to get a decent response.
Even if it's a thank you & polite 'No' I still appreciate the effort in the response!"
If someone has put effort into a message then we think it deserves a reply, even if it is a no thank you. We appreciate the effort gone into writing a message of quality and reply accordingly. If you send a message with no effort or "wanna suck my cock" either get a reply of similar standard or no reply at all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It seems that with all the modern technology everyone is loosing the art of conversation and the use of words themselves. This is not a friends site so you’ll get two types of people.
Those who think everyone want is gagging for sex.
Those who need a connection to have fun and no I don’t just mean fun as in sex.
With the disconnect somethings conversations get disjointed and the flow falls apart. A real conversation is not talk, await an answer. It’s fluid, just flows.
Sorry little heavy for a Monday morning forgive me. Or just steal my soapbox. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Totally agree. Years ago long before the internet, snowflakes and "we invented the world youth", swinging (lifestyle as it was called) was conducted solely through the mail, and the quickest lesson we all learnt, was that if you couldn't write an interesting letter, you were never getting a meet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t think my profile is too bad and I do have verifications from couples I have met, but it is becoming annoying when you write a decent length message (not one liners) to couples and you don’t even get a reply.
Hopefully I will get some decent responses soon, well I live in hope anyway lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, don't know if any others here have found this but when we chat to potential ladies the conversation is very stilted, we could compose the next great sonet or something (probably not lol) just to get a one word response. Is it to much to ask for a conversation?"
The one word responses are very difficult to work with! Tbh I give it two or three and then think, well if they can't be bothered then nether can I end of conversation, we like to get to know people before we arrange to meet, that will be likes and dislikes for example, so another conversation killer is "I go with the flow" what are we supposed to take from that? So let's say we like to lather each other in goose fat and dance round a bonfire in the back garden before sex  would they be up for a bit of that lol mind you it's fab so probably yes hahaha but you get the point? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi all, don't know if any others here have found this but when we chat to potential ladies the conversation is very stilted, we could compose the next great sonet or something (probably not lol) just to get a one word response. Is it to much to ask for a conversation?
The one word responses are very difficult to work with! Tbh I give it two or three and then think, well if they can't be bothered then nether can I end of conversation, we like to get to know people before we arrange to meet, that will be likes and dislikes for example, so another conversation killer is "I go with the flow" what are we supposed to take from that? So let's say we like to lather each other in goose fat and dance round a bonfire in the back garden before sex would they be up for a bit of that lol mind you it's fab so probably yes hahaha but you get the point? "
Do you know that’s my fetish too, please do invite me next time you open a new tube of goose fat ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, don't know if any others here have found this but when we chat to potential ladies the conversation is very stilted, we could compose the next great sonet or something (probably not lol) just to get a one word response. Is it to much to ask for a conversation?
The one word responses are very difficult to work with! Tbh I give it two or three and then think, well if they can't be bothered then nether can I end of conversation, we like to get to know people before we arrange to meet, that will be likes and dislikes for example, so another conversation killer is "I go with the flow" what are we supposed to take from that? So let's say we like to lather each other in goose fat and dance round a bonfire in the back garden before sex would they be up for a bit of that lol mind you it's fab so probably yes hahaha but you get the point?
Do you know that’s my fetish too, please do invite me next time you open a new tube of goose fat !"
Well played sir  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its strange how people seem to think brevity is saving time but it just means , everyone is poorer for knowing less about the people they are contacting, "
So true.I was chatting yesterday with a new person any they got ratty with me for asking questions like, what do u like ! Etc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its strange how people seem to think brevity is saving time but it just means , everyone is poorer for knowing less about the people they are contacting,
So true.I was chatting yesterday with a new person any they got ratty with me for asking questions like, what do u like ! Etc"
No problem with me, you can ask what ever you want.....!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The best conversations I have on here tend to be with the people I'm least likely to meet.
I think taking sex off the table sometimes opens up other conversational avenues; there isn't that drive towards the FAF.
It would be lovely to find someone to meet where the conversation doesn't feel like I'm interrogating them, asking a million questions to receive one-word non-committal responses.
Sadly I receive a lot of messages that don't give me any conversational hooks. If there's nothing to comment on in a profile and nothing to respond to in a message then that's that, the conversation is dead and I concentrate my time and effort on the chats that still hold my interest.
It's a harsh reality that most women on here are inundated with messages; few have time to spend trying to resuscitate a dead conversation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tend to make no effort if the message I've received makes no effort or gives me nothing to respond to. For example, if I get a message that simply states "how are you?", I'll reply "fine, thanks. You?" Or if I get "nice profile, love your pics", I'll reply "thanks."
Same here read digest understand, Reply.
If I'm messaging someone, I read their profile, look closely at their pics, and start a conversation based on something I've read or seen that I'm interested in. It could be anything at all- an object in the background of a photo, an offhand quip about an interest or even something they've said that I relate to in the forums. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its strange how people seem to think brevity is saving time but it just means , everyone is poorer for knowing less about the people they are contacting,
So true.I was chatting yesterday with a new person any they got ratty with me for asking questions like, what do u like ! Etc"
We've had that sort of response for asking questions as well  which is a completely stupid attitude to adopt, I mean the idea is to hopefully find common ground have some naughty banter, ultimately leading up to meeting and all enjoying sex |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
no way! seems almost like a trick question. arta conversation dead? thats one of those meta-topics...it caaannnnt be dead not until the last tongue clicks its last click against the teeth, until the last vocal chord vibrates, until the last finger taps a keyboard or the last smoke signal rises or the last sound is made so on and so forth splitting that atom infinitesimally right down through the various levelsa nature and no...not dead. hey the very fact you raise the question means its not dead at all so thats all good. shoot it off into the aether now... what is conversation anyway?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
ironically so ironically single-handedly killed your conversation thread about conversation there thats pretty impressive in itself yknow, prouda that one. bad luck not skilled indifference.
and the year is off to a good start.
most nonsense aside...good conversation = sex brain chemistry |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tend to make no effort if the message I've received makes no effort or gives me nothing to respond to. For example, if I get a message that simply states "how are you?", I'll reply "fine, thanks. You?" Or if I get "nice profile, love your pics", I'll reply "thanks."
Same here read digest understand, Reply.
If I'm messaging someone, I read their profile, look closely at their pics, and start a conversation based on something I've read or seen that I'm interested in. It could be anything at all- an object in the background of a photo, an offhand quip about an interest or even something they've said that I relate to in the forums. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi all, don't know if any others here have found this but when we chat to potential ladies the conversation is very stilted, we could compose the next great sonet or something (probably not lol) just to get a one word response. Is it to much to ask for a conversation?"
Rule of Life, number 12; Conversations are made, not asked for.
Tell me about how you open those conversations. What do you do that provides space for the other person to tell you about themselves?
Mr Icebreaker |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I get asked a question.. I find 1 word answers is enough.. Put any detail or context into it then you end up having to explain the meaning of next door neighbours cats best friends sunday shopping habits of a 1 legged horses owner.. If you get my drift
Less is more sometimes
Plus I could be chatting to 4 or 5 people. I'm not writing essays |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like to be punctual and find one word answers just do nothing for me at all!! Massive turn off, how do you expect to click with someone with just a few word answers, for me it’s the equivalent of an awkward silence haha
While we are in the subject text speak is just a massive no no too!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When we first started swinging we would, despite our reservations, meet couples for socials whose messages on Fab were boring, non-descript, generic ... And soon learned that if you are boring when messaging, chances are things will be even worse in real life! Socials with fellow swingers should be exciting but those meetings ranked as some of our most boring evenings out ... Ever! So we just delete/ignore the one-liners now, there will be the odd exception to the rule, but why put yourself through countless wasted evenings for that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Depends on whether they've read my profile before sending a long or articulate message. If they have, I'll respond, if they've ignored it, I won't. "
Couldn't agree more ... We get some long, articulate messages but they are only about the sender, nothing that alludes to us ... Conclusion: copy and paste job and just a slightly more sophisticated version of the scatter-gun approach. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, don't know if any others here have found this but when we chat to potential ladies the conversation is very stilted, we could compose the next great sonet or something (probably not lol) just to get a one word response. Is it to much to ask for a conversation?"
It happens a lot I tend to ask a few questions either profile related or just in general with each message and I've had single words back. I will try one more time but if I can very short or single word responses a second time I generally loose interest as a conversation shouldn't feel like hard work and I assume they aren't that interested.
I think it's pretty common on here from all profile types but I wouldn't let it bother you, it's just another way of realising someone isn't for you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Depends on whether they've read my profile before sending a long or articulate message. If they have, I'll respond, if they've ignored it, I won't.
Couldn't agree more ... We get some long, articulate messages but they are only about the sender, nothing that alludes to us ... Conclusion: copy and paste job and just a slightly more sophisticated version of the scatter-gun approach."
Totally agree, I've had several already today, the words MY and I featured very heavily. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
