FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Struggling to find couples to meet
Struggling to find couples to meet
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Any suggestions on how to find couples to meet? We have been to a few clubs but it's difficult to go out on those nights as I have children (also the reason we don't accommodate). Is something on our profile putting people off? Perhaps it's the fact that we are mostly looking for soft swap. Any advice gratefully received x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of women object to the idea of maybe being there just to provide entertainment for the man...best to just look at meeting couples and work up to other things...lots of couples soft swing...though personally we dont |
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In case this helps, we would pass on your profile because it is overly sexual. We look to meet people we get on well with. Your profile doesn't contain much about what you are like aside from your sex life and desires.
I suggest you add some more photos with you dressed and include some text about your interests. That would give a better indication of what somebody could expect if they met you socially. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We love the sexual things you talk about.
We don't intentionally meet to have soft swaps though because we don't often get chances to meet. So we'd only look for couples with full swap fun and ideally where everyone is bi. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In case this helps, we would pass on your profile because it is overly sexual. We look to meet people we get on well with. Your profile doesn't contain much about what you are like aside from your sex life and desires.
I suggest you add some more photos with you dressed and include some text about your interests. That would give a better indication of what somebody could expect if they met you socially. "
We aren't looking for the social aspect. Obviously we want to get on with whoever we meet but this site is for sex not friends. We aren't looking to date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile gives off a whiff of being a single guy pretending to be a couple, overly graphic and of course you can make a women squirt 
Maybe change the text, actually make clear what sort of play you would mutually engage in, if you are soft swap what’s your definition of soft swap as to us it means everything apart from penetration.
Get out to clubs etc within 30 miles of you both Jaydees and chunky muffins have events tonight, bite the bullet and go xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In case this helps, we would pass on your profile because it is overly sexual. We look to meet people we get on well with. Your profile doesn't contain much about what you are like aside from your sex life and desires.
I suggest you add some more photos with you dressed and include some text about your interests. That would give a better indication of what somebody could expect if they met you socially.
We aren't looking for the social aspect. Obviously we want to get on with whoever we meet but this site is for sex not friends. We aren't looking to date. "
Maybe this is why you are failing? Swinging isn’t just about play... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In case this helps, we would pass on your profile because it is overly sexual. We look to meet people we get on well with. Your profile doesn't contain much about what you are like aside from your sex life and desires.
I suggest you add some more photos with you dressed and include some text about your interests. That would give a better indication of what somebody could expect if they met you socially.
We aren't looking for the social aspect. Obviously we want to get on with whoever we meet but this site is for sex not friends. We aren't looking to date.
Maybe this is why you are failing? Swinging isn’t just about play..."
Ah well, happy fail in that case |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile gives off a whiff of being a single guy pretending to be a couple, overly graphic and of course you can make a women squirt
Maybe change the text, actually make clear what sort of play you would mutually engage in, if you are soft swap what’s your definition of soft swap as to us it means everything apart from penetration.
Get out to clubs etc within 30 miles of you both Jaydees and chunky muffins have events tonight, bite the bullet and go xx"
Don't ever become a detective. Duke doesn't even come on here unless I show him a profile. Our profile quite clearly states what we will engage in. Also as my original post states, club nights are difficult for us as we can't usually do those nights due to family. He makes me squirt and no other guy ever has but I think good sex all down to compatibility as everyone likes different things. Thanks for your input x
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"In case this helps, we would pass on your profile because it is overly sexual. We look to meet people we get on well with. Your profile doesn't contain much about what you are like aside from your sex life and desires.
I suggest you add some more photos with you dressed and include some text about your interests. That would give a better indication of what somebody could expect if they met you socially.
We aren't looking for the social aspect. Obviously we want to get on with whoever we meet but this site is for sex not friends. We aren't looking to date. "
That's absolutely fine and you won't get any criticism from us for what you are looking for.
It's just worth knowing in light of your post that the social side is very important to a lot of Fabbers so you would be ruling out most of them and reducing your options. A lot of people do use this site to find friends and not just for sex. |
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" Our profile quite clearly states what we will engage in
Your profile says "just penetrative sex" but not with who. I think you have left a couple of words out.
Also as my original post states, club nights are difficult for us as we can't usually do those nights due to family.
Lots of clubs have daytime sessions.
I suggest moving your action shot to friends only as I feel it is too graphic for people wanting soft swing.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Our profile quite clearly states what we will engage in
Your profile says "just penetrative sex" but not with who. I think you have left a couple of words out.
Also as my original post states, club nights are difficult for us as we can't usually do those nights due to family.
Lots of clubs have daytime sessions.
I suggest moving your action shot to friends only as I feel it is too graphic for people wanting soft swing.
"
Thanks for the proof read. I have now changed that. Compared to lots of photos on here I wouldn't deem it graphic. Regarding clubs, we both work full time so can't do daytime sessions. We have 3 or 4 night free a week and these don't include Wednesday, Friday or Saturday which seem to be the nights that most clubs are open.
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Basically all profile carry barriers to contact. Some are overt others are down to personal preferences.
The more barriers the more difficult it will be to find meets and that is before any sexual attraction is taken into account.
Not being able to accommodate and preference not to do clubs leaves you with only couples who will host.
Soft swap is limiting, but more importantly soft swap with a bi-curious lady will potentially also be off-putting to some. If the ladies are going to be doing most of the playing then we would prefer them both to be bisexual.
Lack of verifications is also a barrier for some (but too many can also be a barrier for others).
That then leaves you with a potential pool of contacts. In our experience it would be a fairly small pool, but not impossible to find meets. It may help to say how far you are willing to travel to meet.
Interests are important too, some people don't like photos or videos so will avoid profiles that indicate this as privacy is highly important to them.
On a personal preference S&M would put us off.
After that it's all down to physical attraction. But you can see that there is alot to consider before people make contact.
Good luck
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Basically all profile carry barriers to contact. Some are overt others are down to personal preferences.
The more barriers the more difficult it will be to find meets and that is before any sexual attraction is taken into account.
Not being able to accommodate and preference not to do clubs leaves you with only couples who will host.
Soft swap is limiting, but more importantly soft swap with a bi-curious lady will potentially also be off-putting to some. If the ladies are going to be doing most of the playing then we would prefer them both to be bisexual.
Lack of verifications is also a barrier for some (but too many can also be a barrier for others).
That then leaves you with a potential pool of contacts. In our experience it would be a fairly small pool, but not impossible to find meets. It may help to say how far you are willing to travel to meet.
Interests are important too, some people don't like photos or videos so will avoid profiles that indicate this as privacy is highly important to them.
On a personal preference S&M would put us off.
After that it's all down to physical attraction. But you can see that there is alot to consider before people make contact.
Good luck
"
Never thought about that before how interests could put people off!! Good point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically all profile carry barriers to contact. Some are overt others are down to personal preferences.
The more barriers the more difficult it will be to find meets and that is before any sexual attraction is taken into account.
Not being able to accommodate and preference not to do clubs leaves you with only couples who will host.
Soft swap is limiting, but more importantly soft swap with a bi-curious lady will potentially also be off-putting to some. If the ladies are going to be doing most of the playing then we would prefer them both to be bisexual.
Lack of verifications is also a barrier for some (but too many can also be a barrier for others).
That then leaves you with a potential pool of contacts. In our experience it would be a fairly small pool, but not impossible to find meets. It may help to say how far you are willing to travel to meet.
Interests are important too, some people don't like photos or videos so will avoid profiles that indicate this as privacy is highly important to them.
On a personal preference S&M would put us off.
After that it's all down to physical attraction. But you can see that there is alot to consider before people make contact.
Good luck
Never thought about that before how interests could put people off!! Good point."
People not willing to do the social side first would put me off too. (W) |
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
"In case this helps, we would pass on your profile because it is overly sexual. We look to meet people we get on well with. Your profile doesn't contain much about what you are like aside from your sex life and desires.
I suggest you add some more photos with you dressed and include some text about your interests. That would give a better indication of what somebody could expect if they met you socially.
We aren't looking for the social aspect. Obviously we want to get on with whoever we meet but this site is for sex not friends. We aren't looking to date.
Maybe this is why you are failing? Swinging isn’t just about play...
Ah well, happy fail in that case "
when we have been to a club we used to play if we liked someone. That was it though, fun on that night at the time. Not looking for social hook ups outside of that. My wife has took more of a back seat now and if we do clubs we tend to just entertain for others. Think more of a watch and watching others couple. |
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
"In case this helps, we would pass on your profile because it is overly sexual. We look to meet people we get on well with. Your profile doesn't contain much about what you are like aside from your sex life and desires.
I suggest you add some more photos with you dressed and include some text about your interests. That would give a better indication of what somebody could expect if they met you socially.
We aren't looking for the social aspect. Obviously we want to get on with whoever we meet but this site is for sex not friends. We aren't looking to date.
Maybe this is why you are failing? Swinging isn’t just about play...
Ah well, happy fail in that case "
when we have been to a club we used to play if we liked someone. That was it though, fun on that night at the time. Not looking for social hook ups outside of that. My wife has took more of a back seat now and if we do clubs we tend to just entertain for others. Think more of a watch and watching others couple. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Basically all profile carry barriers to contact. Some are overt others are down to personal preferences.
The more barriers the more difficult it will be to find meets and that is before any sexual attraction is taken into account.
Not being able to accommodate and preference not to do clubs leaves you with only couples who will host.
Soft swap is limiting, but more importantly soft swap with a bi-curious lady will potentially also be off-putting to some. If the ladies are going to be doing most of the playing then we would prefer them both to be bisexual.
Lack of verifications is also a barrier for some (but too many can also be a barrier for others).
That then leaves you with a potential pool of contacts. In our experience it would be a fairly small pool, but not impossible to find meets. It may help to say how far you are willing to travel to meet.
Interests are important too, some people don't like photos or videos so will avoid profiles that indicate this as privacy is highly important to them.
On a personal preference S&M would put us off.
After that it's all down to physical attraction. But you can see that there is alot to consider before people make contact.
Good luck
Never thought about that before how interests could put people off!! Good point.
People not willing to do the social side first would put me off too. (W)"
We do like a social first it's nice to get to know people. In fact sometimes when we know someone we do meet socially often.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically all profile carry barriers to contact. Some are overt others are down to personal preferences.
The more barriers the more difficult it will be to find meets and that is before any sexual attraction is taken into account.
Not being able to accommodate and preference not to do clubs leaves you with only couples who will host.
Soft swap is limiting, but more importantly soft swap with a bi-curious lady will potentially also be off-putting to some. If the ladies are going to be doing most of the playing then we would prefer them both to be bisexual.
Lack of verifications is also a barrier for some (but too many can also be a barrier for others).
That then leaves you with a potential pool of contacts. In our experience it would be a fairly small pool, but not impossible to find meets. It may help to say how far you are willing to travel to meet.
Interests are important too, some people don't like photos or videos so will avoid profiles that indicate this as privacy is highly important to them.
On a personal preference S&M would put us off.
After that it's all down to physical attraction. But you can see that there is alot to consider before people make contact.
Good luck
Never thought about that before how interests could put people off!! Good point.
People not willing to do the social side first would put me off too. (W)
We do like a social first it's nice to get to know people. In fact sometimes when we know someone we do meet socially often.
"
Probably the best way.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have updated our profile now and feel it reflects us well. I realise that to most people swinging is a lifestyle but to us it's really just an added extra and although we have had fun we can quite happily not bother as we have an amazing sex life together anyway and also have our own friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But like yourselves. Couples don’t need other people it’s just nice when they can. But as you are both so limited with when and where you can play, it’s just easier to deal with another couple who doesn’t have the restrictions. You have to be ready to make arrangements for things if you want them. Like everyone else does. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If it's a choice between being with my kids or swinging then swinging doesn't stand a chance. Coming to the conclusion that we just really aren't as bothered with it as others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s your answer then. No point moaning. Just move away from it. People have tried offering help and you’re out and out reject every time. This life isn’t going to be for everyone and some just won’t be successful within it. It’s not just looks but personality that’s important. Think about how others are going to view it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've taken people's advice and updated our profile due to it so it was worthwhile. I'm not here to criticise anyone else's lifestyle but know what we want and if we aren't able to find others then sod it because we aren't willing to compromise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your bearded man is killing it for you haha take it from one Very very fluffy faced guy
Beards are in fashion just not fab fashion lol
Maybe change your profile pic every now and then gives the appearance of a maintained profile
Best of luck
And take a few pointers from the guys on here even if it's just ideas from each aspect of advice |
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