FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > 1 week and no replies.

1 week and no replies.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi guys I've been on the site for a week now and I've only had a few replies to any of my messages and I've sent out a fair few just because I knew they would get inundated with single males.

But I didn't realize it would take this long to find someone that's up for even meeting up for a drink or coffee.

Is anyone else struggling or is it just me this is how I am opening up my messages I usually read the whole bio and look at pics then decide if they suit what I'm looking for then write a message based on what I've seen and read so it's not like I'm copy pasting to each one I message.

I understand I might not be what they're after and competition for single males is ridiculous but a week with no real response is quite annoying should I just keep on and message people and eventually get a reply?

Anyone in the same boat?

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's very normal, and I'm afraid a week is nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks I guess there's just too many men about so they increase their standards too lol

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman over a year ago

Club Meets Only

A week.... Did you expect instant replies or results? A lot are on here for a while before getting somewhere

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Really what women too or just men?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a swingers site:

Pecking order:

DESPERADO Men seeking ANYTHING parading as anything.

Ideally:

Couples seeking women

Couples seeking couples

Single women seeking men

Single women

Interracial

20 more options, then:

Single men expecting a BJ within a week.

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By *ylonSlutTV/TS over a year ago

Durham

"Really what women too or just men?"

Things are hard on here for anyone that wants to meet single women be they single men couples or even tvs. Its a numbers game. A lot of women get so many messages they just have to a mass delete every so often. A lot of ladies will check a profile out before even reading a message so make sure your profile and pics stand out from the crowd.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Single men expecting a BJ within a week.

[/quote

I dunno where you got that from mate but I was only expecting a chat and maybe go grab a coffee for a little social meet up..

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By *moothCriminal_xMan over a year ago

Redditch

Ive been here a year and had 3 or 4 women interested out of hundreds of messages! Be patient and get to know the site. Lurk in the forums and read profiles carefully. There will be opportunities if you have a decent profile

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By *ylonSlutTV/TS over a year ago

Durham

Single men expecting a BJ within a week.

[/quote

I dunno where you got that from mate but I was only expecting a chat and maybe go grab a coffee for a little social meet up.."

A normal dating site is probably better if that is what want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ive been here a year and had 3 or 4 women interested out of hundreds of messages! Be patient and get to know the site. Lurk in the forums and read profiles carefully. There will be opportunities if you have a decent profile"

Thanks man that sucks man I was expecting to atleast get to know a few local girls and go out for a few drinks

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By *ainyDaySunshineMan over a year ago

Ayrshire

Lots of people have their own private lives out with fab to enjoy.

Life comes with all it's good and bad, making it so much more important to enjoy the free time you do have..

Personal choice whether people want more fab or more private

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Cheers I've tried a few apps and haven't really got no where met one girl and just didn't connect at all I don't want to date either most on them sites expect a relationship right?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks man that sucks man I was expecting to atleast get to know a few local girls and go out for a few drinks "

Try POF?

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

OP.

Errr, did you believe it would be Instant Shag?

Seriously, you have to allow time to achieve success, along with masses of Patience and Perseverance.

It certainly doesn't take a week but far, far longer. Yes, you are up against so many other guys, but as ladies are often so overwhelmed with messages, they can afford to be choosy.

Look at the similar threads in the Forum Index for ideas on how to improve things for you.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP.

Errr, did you believe it would be Instant Shag?

Seriously, you have to allow time to achieve success, along with masses of Patience and Perseverance.

It certainly doesn't take a week but far, far longer. Yes, you are up against so many other guys, but as ladies are often so overwhelmed with messages, they can afford to be choosy.

Look at the similar threads in the Forum Index for ideas on how to improve things for you.

Good luck.

Cheers dude yeah I kinda noticed there was shit loads of women online and assumed my unlimited messages would atleast tickle ones fancey to be honest but wasn't counting on it and hoped more to spark some sort of convo nevermind I'll just stick at it atleast some are actually reading them lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Haha I'll do the same mate I don't think they even read them anyway just straight to the pictures but I'm gonna stick at it anyway so many of them are proper picky about what they're after too it's ridiculous they'll have about 10 rules what they need before they can even message

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I read messages before I look at pictures.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Welcome to the forum. Do ignore the people telling you to go elsewhere, there's nothing wrong with wanting to meet for a social to start with. A week isn't long, keep at it and good luck.

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By *izadoCouple over a year ago

Keighley

I think you may have done what a lot of the single males on here have done and confused a swingers site with a free for all fuck it site.

Swinging is about more than just shagging everyone and anyone, maybe find out more about the lifestyle. Also our time is precious we have families, jobs, a social life outside of swinging so if we want to be picky about who we meet and when then that’s our right!

As for saying there are too many rules to abide by before you send a message, they’re there to out the idiots who’ve come before you and feel entitled to get their end away immediately as well.

Swinging doesn’t mean you’re entitled to anything from anyone, we have as much right to consent, pick and choose as anyone else. So grow a pair and stop whinging.

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By *edVelveteenCouple over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

"It's very normal, and I'm afraid a week is nothing."

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks hun I'll keep at it. I did expect a few of those comments from others too making out like I'm expecting to get my nuts in within the week of joining

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks but I wasn't winging and know it's a swinging site but there is plenty of single ladies that are looking for single men too love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't believe no on has told you to visit a swingers club. Good way to meet people in a social environment then dress down and maybe have some naughty fun. Chat at the bar or in the jacuzzi. It's a relaxed atmosphere for the most part and I think you would like it. Good luck.

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By *reeman76Man over a year ago

oldbury

Clubs are your best bet.

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By *elnkazCouple over a year ago

cheshire

Would also suggest best option for you OP, is to start going to clubs and getting to know people but rem_mber just because you've paid to go in dont expect any fun. It's not guaranteed. Its swingers clubs not brothels..

Del

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks guys I was actually looking into clubs and was going to look on the forum for local suggestions too my friend was telling me about a few he's been to and sounds really good

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman over a year ago

Pontypridd

"Haha I'll do the same mate I don't think they even read them anyway just straight to the pictures but I'm gonna stick at it anyway so many of them are proper picky about what they're after too it's ridiculous they'll have about 10 rules what they need before they can even message"

Ever wondered why we have rules? We can get over 100 messages a day. The rules are a quick filter. Didn’t include a face pic, delete message unread. Hadnt written an original message? Delete. My point of view is that if you can’t take 3 minutes to get the approach right, you’re probably going to be a poor lover.

As for being picky - why shouldn’t we be?

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

I'm in the same boat as you OP after months of messaging. Makes no difference if you spend time writing a thoughtful message, attach pics etc-instant delete or left unread.

I think only very limited number of guys have any response that way.

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond."

This is perfect

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By *ihimbiherCouple over a year ago

lightwater

Unfortunately most men on this site assume that because we are all on this site, that all women close there eyes and just take any cock on offer!

This is not the case and we get these kind of treads often!

One week is a small drop in the ocean I’m afraid as some men go a whole yr , even more without a bite! Good luck but unfortunately your in for a bumpy ride.xxxxxx

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Thanks guys I was actually looking into clubs and was going to look on the forum for local suggestions too my friend was telling me about a few he's been to and sounds really good "

Perhaps you could go with your friend? Clubs and organised socials are great for meeting people OP. Good luck. There's advice on my profile for newbies should you need it. If you use the reply and quote button we will also know who your are talking to on this thread. X

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

Took us about 6 months in the beginning to get something sorted out so a week is nothing.

Don't get disheartened, look for local socials or clubs in your area. These will also help you get verified.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Took us about 6 months in the beginning to get something sorted out so a week is nothing.

Don't get disheartened, look for local socials or clubs in your area. These will also help you get verified.

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I appreciate everyone's input on this thread thank you everyone it has reassured me that it's not just me being rejected 100x a day gets a bit annoying but atleast I'm not the only one I'll try the clubs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond."

That is disgusting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

This is perfect

No it isn't, and it's people like that why women are on their guard

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi guys I've been on the site for a week now and I've only had a few replies to any of my messages and I've sent out a fair few just because I knew they would get inundated with single males.

But I didn't realize it would take this long to find someone that's up for even meeting up for a drink or coffee.

Anyone in the same boat?"

Get yourself to a local social

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I appreciate everyone's input on this thread thank you everyone it has reassured me that it's not just me being rejected 100x a day gets a bit annoying but atleast I'm not the only one I'll try the clubs "

I love your attitude despite being told to bugger off somewhere else and people assuming you think it is instashag on here

Stick around , you may get noticed on the forum too, good luck

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

It's actually pretty hard as a woman too to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Took about 2 months before anyone dropped me a message. Had messages since then obviously, not a lot but at least folks do get in contact if they want to. Don't go bombarding people with messages, send an initial contact message and wait for response. If they don't respond, then just move on. Pointless getting wound up and repeatedly messaging the same people, that just pisses them off and probably get you blocked by them. Nil Desperandum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

This is perfect

No it isn't, and it's people like that why women are on their guard "

I think (or at least hope) that he was being sarcastic....

x Niki

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple over a year ago

bedford

It's just the same for couples looking for a meet. Don't put all your energy on the site. You may find more success in either a club or social, we do get a lot of interest but alas, loads of time wasters and fantasists on here. We use site for chat only now and tell anyone who are interested what club we use. So much better meeting people in person

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond."

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It's actually pretty hard as a woman too to be honest. "

Really depends what you are after though what are you not getting any messages?

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"It's actually pretty hard as a woman too to be honest.

Really depends what you are after though what are you not getting any messages? "

Not lacking in messages, but lacking in quality messages- yes.

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By *oul BrothaMan over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

OP you need to temper your expectations. Just because of the nature of the site and community, it does not mean things will be easy.

To be honest, things are much easier in the vanilla world than fab.

Work on your profile, pictures and messages and I'm sure you'll do great

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi guys I've been on the site for a week now and I've only had a few replies to any of my messages and I've sent out a fair few just because I knew they would get inundated with single males.

But I didn't realize it would take this long to find someone that's up for even meeting up for a drink or coffee.

Anyone in the same boat?"

You have basically answered your own question. Fab is overrun with males who - for the most part - don't even understand the lifestyle. Fems and couples can afford to be very picky when it comes down to it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi guys I've been on the site for a week now and I've only had a few replies to any of my messages and I've sent out a fair few just because I knew they would get inundated with single males.

But I didn't realize it would take this long to find someone that's up for even meeting up for a drink or coffee.

Anyone in the same boat?"

Im in that boat mate. But my boat has a hole in it. Sunk a long time ago. Currently waiting for assistance. Im on a desert island waiting for a response

Its tough out there.

Been on and off fab for years and it gets harder and harder. I think where there have been so many fakers over time. People are reluctant to give single guys a chance. I get it. But when you are genuine its frustrating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm in the same boat as you OP after months of messaging. Makes no difference if you spend time writing a thoughtful message, attach pics etc-instant delete or left unread.

I think only very limited number of guys have any response that way. "

This gets me the most. You spend aaaages writing a response for it not to even be read.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yep it's so annoying even some of the women I message are not what I'm looking for I'm just messaging to see if I'd even get a reply and nope the read it and move on to the next. Think there's way too many men on here so the women can pick guys that are way above there usual standard just because they are struggling to find girls that's up for meeting them straight off the bat imo

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"so the women can pick guys that are way above there usual standard"

It's a good job that the women of fab are to busy cooking and cleaning to be allowed on the forums or your comment above will put you back about 5 years in your quest to get laid

Oh sh.t that was in 1905 not 2019 so you're metaphorically fuc.ed now

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Cooking and cleaning haha is that a sexist comment mate be careful before they come and put you in your place too mate

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

This is perfect

No it isn't, and it's people like that why women are on their guard "

That awkward moment when an obvious joke makes a whoooooshing sound....

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman over a year ago

Victoria, London

I've not been on Tinder, but I would suspect you have a Tinder-mindset. Instant hook up, fuck n go.

Swinging I would hope is a little more subtle, a lifestyle rather than a sex site. People putting effort into friendships leading to better and more varied sex, where trust needs to be earned.

Are swingers generally older than the Tinder users?

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By *mberWoman over a year ago

Preston

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond."

Foolproof

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By *yesgreenMan over a year ago

north and south

"I've not been on Tinder, but I would suspect you have a Tinder-mindset. Instant hook up, fuck n go.

Swinging I would hope is a little more subtle, a lifestyle rather than a sex site. People putting effort into friendships leading to better and more varied sex, where trust needs to be earned.

Are swingers generally older than the Tinder users?

"
Miss slow cum has hit the nail on the head no pun intended and lovely pictures too

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman over a year ago

Victoria, London

Well thank you. Normally I get a 48 hr ban!!!

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By *mberWoman over a year ago

Preston

"Yep it's so annoying even some of the women I message are not what I'm looking for I'm just messaging to see if I'd even get a reply and nope the read it and move on to the next. Think there's way too many men on here so the women can pick guys that are way above there usual standard just because they are struggling to find girls that's up for meeting them straight off the bat imo"

Hot men....you should depart with immediate effect to give women chance to lower their standards and meet people they don't click with.

In fact I'm going to suggest that any man with more than 5 veris hides for a week to give the others a chance!

Women....how very dare you have an opinion on who you fancy! You wouldn't be so fussy if there was a war on and pickings were slim!

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By *yesgreenMan over a year ago

north and south

"Well thank you. Normally I get a 48 hr ban!!!"
Ha ha 48 hour pass to Ireland would be better,Picked up at airport and champagne on arrival to hotel mmmm

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Stop with all the ‘picky’ and ‘choosy’ comments. I may be on Fab but I will NOT fuck anybody just because we are on the same bloody site.

I’m so sick of my gender being blamed for the reason men don’t get their dick wet within 30 seconds of setting up a profile.

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman over a year ago

Pontypridd

Just because you don’t make the cut it doesn’t mean we are too picky. Try lowering your standards and being less choosy, you know like you think women should so that they will meet you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi guys I've been on the site for a week now and I've only had a few replies to any of my messages and I've sent out a fair few just because I knew they would get inundated with single males.

But I didn't realize it would take this long to find someone that's up for even meeting up for a drink or coffee.

Been here a few years now and at first was okay for messages but not so much now one or two a year for me is the most I get.

Anyone in the same boat?"

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

Why on earth would you message people you're not looking for? This kind of thing gets obvious to the people you are looking for btw.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple over a year ago

west london

With couple we meet its here. With a single female we've met a good handful of vanilla site....compared to here..nada

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

To see if they would respond?

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"To see if they would respond? "

But why would you want them to, if you're not interested? To test them?

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By *mberWoman over a year ago

Preston

"To see if they would respond? "

Why so that you can then not reply to them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I always respond in happy to go for a social with anybody so I wouldn't just ignore someone based on their looks. I might not fuck them but I'll be happy to go out.

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By *elvet_OrchidWoman over a year ago

Banbury

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

This is perfect

Perfect???? Shocking more like !!!

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By *y3942Man over a year ago

hastings

its just hard for all genuines on here i think. male, female, ts or couples.

at least you have a face pic for women to look at, but yeah. a week is nothing. several months i guess could be standard for single guys.

btw, that legal disclaimer means/does nothing, which is why i dont have face pics

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get used to it bud

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By *r_G_SPMan over a year ago

Nice shoes

This thread is hilarious

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By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

Define picky

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By *rimtonMan over a year ago

Bromley

OP, stick a photo of cake on your profile.

You’ll be knee deep in poonani before the kettle boils

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

This is perfect

Perfect???? Shocking more like !!!

That awkward moment when an obvious joke makes a whoooooshing sound....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh dear....

x N

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By *Man1263Man over a year ago

Stockport

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

This is perfect

Perfect???? Shocking more like !!!

That awkward moment when an obvious joke makes a whoooooshing sound....

Even the parrot noticed it.......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Men just aren’t in demand. Sad but true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've not been on here long but to be honest, I've had some good response and I've spoken with some lovely people and I really am jo oil painting and a bit chunky, so yeah it's really lifted me.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"Men just aren’t in demand. Sad but true. "

Maybe not by you but alot of people want single men.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

Oh lovely, another man who thinks women should fuck men they aren't attracted to just so we don't hurt their fragile male egos.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi guys I've been on the site for a week now and I've only had a few replies to any of my messages and I've sent out a fair few just because I knew they would get inundated with single males.

But I didn't realize it would take this long to find someone that's up for even meeting up for a drink or coffee.

Anyone in the same boat?"

I'm in the same boat mate,and from what I hear it's just one of those things on here,what with the male ratio against the rest.

But just rem_mber if it doesnt work on here,outside of here you'll still do ok,even if you have to revert back to vanilla.

I tell you what is disheartening though,a couple for example state in they profile that they looking for mature people with manners,and then you notice the profile on one of they verifications states " looking to pound pussy"....so that kind of throws you off,but never mind lol.

Good luck fella.

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I message everyone the same message, eventually someone with low self esteem will respond.

This is perfect

No it isn't, and it's people like that why women are on their guard

I think (or at least hope) that he was being sarcastic....

x Niki"

I was being sarcastic. It was written so seriously, the absurdity made me chuckle.

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By *etite HandfulWoman over a year ago

Chester

The good looking interesting articulate interesting men don't have a problem getting a meet it tends to be the fugly guys and those who can't communicate like adults are the ones who struggle.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The good looking interesting articulate interesting men don't have a problem getting a meet it tends to be the fugly guys and those who can't communicate like adults are the ones who struggle."

Not true this statement.

I'm a mature man who communicates very well with people,and I get plenty of attention away from here so not fugly at all,and I dont mean that in an arrogant manner,just making the point for the case.

Not much intellect there when a word like fugly is being used,the kind of thing you here in bad Adam sandler movies.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey buddy this is very normal, so don't stress it

Involve yourself in the forum's more. This is a community so you have to get yourself known and get involved. It's not all about hook ups here I believe, people make friends and get to know eachother, so don't expect to get laid instantly when you sign up

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By *ADY VOLUPTUOUS OF KENTWoman over a year ago

TONBRIDGE ROUNDABOUTS

I'm wanting a single man

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Head to the clubs as been suggested, people will see you as you are and have a chance to get to know you a little bit, you are much more likely to have a positive experience and it's great for verifications as well.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

"I'm wanting a single man

Shane you're so far away, and that I'm too young for you

(Too young is an odd concept to deal with on here....

)

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By *etite HandfulWoman over a year ago

Chester

The good looking interesting articulate interesting men don't have a problem getting a meet it tends to be the fugly guys and those who can't communicate like adults are the ones who struggle.

Not true this statement.

I'm a mature man who communicates very well with people,and I get plenty of attention away from here so not fugly at all,and I dont mean that in an arrogant manner,just making the point for the case.

Not much intellect there when a word like fugly is being used,the kind of thing you here in bad Adam sandler movies."

Wow you really need to learn to read you say not true then agree with the statement so maybe you should rename your profile Tim nice but ..... it would be far more original than the current one (not a lot of intellect to come up with that). On the plus side no you are not arrogant it takes someone with some intellect to be arrogant.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The good looking interesting articulate interesting men don't have a problem getting a meet it tends to be the fugly guys and those who can't communicate like adults are the ones who struggle.

Not true this statement.

I'm a mature man who communicates very well with people,and I get plenty of attention away from here so not fugly at all,and I dont mean that in an arrogant manner,just making the point for the case.

Not much intellect there when a word like fugly is being used,the kind of thing you here in bad Adam sandler movies.

I don't believe I did agree with what you stated,my point was I do ok away from here,but I can't get a meet on here,you stated that the men on here who don't get meets,are fugly and can't communicate,and thats not me at all.

Yes my profile name is basic,but does it matter,it's only a name.

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