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Women say it as it is
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"May be they need to change the way they think"
No. We are all different and do things differently. I have been known to block people mid-conversation if 1) they are rude and creepy and 2) if all they can do is small talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
it's life, suppose it depends a lot on what you say or whether conversation is interesting etc  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get put off people or they fail to hold my attention very long. Take it as a no and they aren't right for you then move on "
I'm a hyp#otist  look into my thighs |
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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago
Shropshire/Midlands |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
They also could be men, masquerading as women or couples. Getting into explicit sex chat is usually an indicator. |
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"May be they need to change the way they think"
Why? Maybe they are running their profile the way they want. Maybe you said something they didn't like. Maybe they found you boring. Maybe something came up in real life. Who knows, apart from the lady who stopped chatting. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"May be they need to change the way they think
Why? Maybe they are running their profile the way they want. Maybe you said something they didn't like. Maybe they found you boring. Maybe something came up in real life. Who knows, apart from the lady who stopped chatting."
Lol this old chestnut again, the women need to change because they don't act how i want so I'm throwing my toys out of the pram. |
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"May be they need to change the way they think
Why? Maybe they are running their profile the way they want. Maybe you said something they didn't like. Maybe they found you boring. Maybe something came up in real life. Who knows, apart from the lady who stopped chatting.
Lol this old chestnut again, the women need to change because they don't act how i want so I'm throwing my toys out of the pram. "
Yep that's what it feels like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All is it they are just excited with hundreds of messages and can't just chat to one guy at a time"
Why would we chat to one guy at a time?
That’s a huge waste of time! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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9 out 10 times, the reason is that he's simply bored he to the point that I can't be arsed to keep a 'conversation' going.
The other 1 time, he's said something to put off. |
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"May be they need to change the way they think
Why? Maybe they are running their profile the way they want. Maybe you said something they didn't like. Maybe they found you boring. Maybe something came up in real life. Who knows, apart from the lady who stopped chatting.
Lol this old chestnut again, the women need to change because they don't act how i want so I'm throwing my toys out of the pram. "
Yup. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can anyone please give me some tips about going about making friends. I’ve been on a while but I see , no friend request I would appreciate different company as not much happening over here. Sorry if I’ve interrupted a conversation but as I said, I feel a bit of a clown. Thank you all for your patience with me |
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"Can anyone please give me some tips about going about making friends. I’ve been on a while but I see , no friend request I would appreciate different company as not much happening over here. Sorry if I’ve interrupted a conversation but as I said, I feel a bit of a clown. Thank you all for your patience with me "
Best to start your own thread under the meets or advice section rather than hijacking someones thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes i am just being polite and having a chat if they have a bit of chat to begin with... Esp if their profile says looking for friends and not looking to shag all of fab lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
I did it to someone the other day as we chatted nicely but then he got sexually graphic and it wasn’t what I was comfortable with. I don’t know if I read it wrong or he did, but it was too early in conversation and felt like an attempt at cyber sex which isn’t what I’m about. I keep meaning to answer but just haven’t.
Sometimes it’s because someone is intense, or annoying or pushy or you just realise you’re not on the same page. -Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first message may be witty,but maybe the woman's attention isn't getting held. Most women are getting multiple messages a day, so if she's not getting anything from the messages, she'll move on. Savage but true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
Its usually something you have said that makes a woman think what a pratt and give up messaging. |
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Its usually something you have said that makes a woman think what a pratt and give up messaging. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it tends to be if someone just messages relentlessly because i dont answer quickly enough which tends to be because real life has taken over or they just become really pushy |
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"May be they need to change the way they think
No. We are all different and do things differently. I have been known to block people mid-conversation if 1) they are rude and creepy and 2) if all they can do is small talk."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All is it they are just excited with hundreds of messages and can't just chat to one guy at a time"
No that's not it at all. some might think conversation gone dead or you have nothing in common or your penis is too small..... in others don't worry about those who don't reply back
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It just means I don't want to chat anymore. I only chat where there's interest. I don't explain my actions to anyone on fab. It's wasted energy leading to pointless conversations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it’s because I bore easily. I like interesting and intriguing conversation. 8/10 ones on here it’s the same B/S asking if I’m horny, what am I wearing now.......yawn yawn |
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Guy gets no replies.
Guy goes on forum asking how to message people.
Guy sends messages that aren't natural to him
After a couple of these the other person realises he is faking it.
This is why it's important to be yourself from the start, not just say what you think the other person wants to hear. |
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
Cos you naffed her off my friend.......or she found someone more interesting. Women are in charge on Fab because of the numbers..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We love to flirt/be seduced.So many times after chatting to someone they get too impatient and demanding and it's an instant turn off."
Thats exactly it in my experience. I love the flirting. If a guy can talk me into bed they are half way there. That will never come with endless repeated messages saying i want to fuck you. No imagination at all. |
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"Guy gets no replies.
Guy goes on forum asking how to message people.
Guy sends messages that aren't natural to him
After a couple of these the other person realises he is faking it.
This is why it's important to be yourself from the start, not just say what you think the other person wants to hear."
Exactly this. |
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"For me it tends to be if someone just messages relentlessly because i dont answer quickly enough which tends to be because real life has taken over or they just become really pushy "
Exactly this!
Real life has a habit of taking over. If I don't answer straight away it means I'm busy.
The constant bombardment is a definite turn off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes there is no answer to what's said and silence means try a different more interesting question or saying something about yourself. If you're boring and unimaginative with msg then likely to be in person too |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well...."
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it"
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense."
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
Because woman can do what they want without explaining to anyone.
If you need to analyse what someone does says or doesnt.. then thats your issue.
Good luck finding a true answer
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes. "
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women. "
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind "
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
"
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it "
Women refers to more than one women and it was a very broad, sweeping statement. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it
Women refers to more than one women and it was a very broad, sweeping statement. "
Not sure it referred to all women
I’m sure you’re very nice to any of your potential beaus from this site |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it
Women refers to more than one women and it was a very broad, sweeping statement.
Not sure it referred to all women
I’m sure you’re very nice to any of your potential beaus from this site "
Oh I'm not, I'm horrible all the time  |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it
Women refers to more than one women and it was a very broad, sweeping statement.
Not sure it referred to all women
I’m sure you’re very nice to any of your potential beaus from this site
Oh I'm not, I'm horrible all the time "
Surely not |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it
Women refers to more than one women and it was a very broad, sweeping statement.
Not sure it referred to all women
I’m sure you’re very nice to any of your potential beaus from this site
Oh I'm not, I'm horrible all the time
Surely not "
Yep  |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it
Women refers to more than one women and it was a very broad, sweeping statement.
Not sure it referred to all women
I’m sure you’re very nice to any of your potential beaus from this site
Oh I'm not, I'm horrible all the time
Surely not
Yep "
Well, colour me shocked...not |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
Men do that as well....
Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it
And men seek to blame women for their own lack of respect, social skills and common sense.
This man doesn’t - I blame no one else for my own failings. And I give no one else credit for my own successes.
Oh really? You do seem to have alot blame to throw at women.
Do I really? I have issues with individuals not the whole of womankind
I beg to differ, did you or did you not say
'Women do it all the time - and then seek to blame men for it'
Methinks that isn't a statement about an individual
Ok...if that makes you feel better, then go ahead and think it
Women refers to more than one women and it was a very broad, sweeping statement.
Not sure it referred to all women
I’m sure you’re very nice to any of your potential beaus from this site
Oh I'm not, I'm horrible all the time
Surely not
Yep
Well, colour me shocked...not "
Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have this happen to me all the time with men. It's not just women, people in general can just be really shit. It's generally easier to just ignore someone rather than have the courage to tell them you've changed your mind. People treat each other very disposably these days. Just this weekend alone I've had 5 men start ghosting me after arranging to meet. It's very frustrating; sometimes I understand why men fly off the rails when they don't get replies etc. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"I have this happen to me all the time with men. It's not just women, people in general can just be really shit. It's generally easier to just ignore someone rather than have the courage to tell them you've changed your mind. People treat each other very disposably these days. Just this weekend alone I've had 5 men start ghosting me after arranging to meet. It's very frustrating; sometimes I understand why men fly off the rails when they don't get replies etc. "
I thought we were all idiots etc when we react badly to rejection? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not our place to ask just take it as they ain't interested and move on as what's the point do you think they will change their mind and come back and start chatting again |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"It's not our place to ask just take it as they ain't interested and move on as what's the point do you think they will change their mind and come back and start chatting again "
It’s anyone’s place to ask and demand an answer. You may not get one but you have every right to ask |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have this happen to me all the time with men. It's not just women, people in general can just be really shit. It's generally easier to just ignore someone rather than have the courage to tell them you've changed your mind. People treat each other very disposably these days. Just this weekend alone I've had 5 men start ghosting me after arranging to meet. It's very frustrating; sometimes I understand why men fly off the rails when they don't get replies etc.
I thought we were all idiots etc when we react badly to rejection? "
There's a difference between acting badly to rejection and being ghosted. If someone rejects you and you answer with anything other than "that's okay, thanks for letting me know" then you're a twat tbh. At least the person took the time to let you know. If someone has been talking to you for a while and you've set up a meet etc only for them to start blanking you that's not rejection, that's straight up rudeness and I'd say you're justified to pick a bone with them about wasting your time like that. People on here and dating apps in general seem to forget that people have lives and feelings that they're disrupting. It takes about 10 seconds and the tiniest bit of courtesy to not let them hang on to something that isn't happening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not our place to ask just take it as they ain't interested and move on as what's the point do you think they will change their mind and come back and start chatting again
It’s anyone’s place to ask and demand an answer. You may not get one but you have every right to ask "
.. I play by my own rules on here so wouldn’t engage with anyone if they demanded an answer. I just delete  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have this happen to me all the time with men. It's not just women, people in general can just be really shit. It's generally easier to just ignore someone rather than have the courage to tell them you've changed your mind. People treat each other very disposably these days. Just this weekend alone I've had 5 men start ghosting me after arranging to meet. It's very frustrating; sometimes I understand why men fly off the rails when they don't get replies etc.
I thought we were all idiots etc when we react badly to rejection?
There's a difference between acting badly to rejection and being ghosted. If someone rejects you and you answer with anything other than "that's okay, thanks for letting me know" then you're a twat tbh. At least the person took the time to let you know. If someone has been talking to you for a while and you've set up a meet etc only for them to start blanking you that's not rejection, that's straight up rudeness and I'd say you're justified to pick a bone with them about wasting your time like that. People on here and dating apps in general seem to forget that people have lives and feelings that they're disrupting. It takes about 10 seconds and the tiniest bit of courtesy to not let them hang on to something that isn't happening. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
We find it the most rude thing for communication in here. No courage to say "Sorry you are not the one I am looking for" or " won't be wasting more of your time" and just leaving big question mark behind! |
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Probably the same reasons most female men and couples do it...!!
For Their own personal reasons s. Not always to do with you.
No one is a mind reader and everyone has their own freedom of choice.
Personally
Im a busy person and have a life. So I flit in and out of conversations on and off fabs..
Because I can and I want to...
That's how it works for me and suits my lifestyle.
If someone seems insecure about that. I'll pick up on the vibe.
There are so many reasons we cant assume some are standard as listed above and some not so.
But it all boils down to the other persons preference for choice how they spend their precious time and doing what with whom !! Xxx |
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"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?
We find it the most rude thing for communication in here. No courage to say "Sorry you are not the one I am looking for" or " won't be wasting more of your time" and just leaving big question mark behind! "
Not ways about rejection it's time.
As fabs says a no reply is a no at that time .. Accept it and make fab friends in real life.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From what I’ve seen with H, it can be you’re demanding why she hasn’t messaged back immediately, she’s a mother and runs a business from home, sometimes things take precedence, if they do don’t turn little bitch about it, it will not get a reply.
The sheer number of messages we (in reality she) gets bumps replies down, yours may get missed, often found days later in a deleting session.
Sometimes you taken sex talk too far, too soon
Sometimes you’ve sent a dick pic after been told she doesn’t want then. This speaks volumes about your respect for boundaries.
If I were female, I wouldn’t give half the attention/chances she does.
There’s a ton of reasons. Most of the time you never get a reply, it is your fault, ask yourself why
G (Mr) |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Lack of reply means that they feel they can do better than you. It’s so easy to find someone, why settle for second, forth or even ten thousandth best. "
I'm sure you've said this before, it might mean that sometimes but not always. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me it’s because I bore easily. I like interesting and intriguing conversation. 8/10 ones on here it’s the same B/S asking if I’m horny, what am I wearing now.......yawn yawn "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a subject I've seen on here a number of times.
The female position is that, for whatever reason (and they are plainly entitled to do so) they change their minds, decide you're not worth pursuing etc etc.
This I quite understand.
What I don't understand is that it seems acceptable here to just blank someone mid-chat. It's a bit cowardly and just plain rude.
It's hiding behind the anonymity afforded by the site like all manner of internet trolls elsewhere.
Time plainly isn't the issue, as we're talking about termination of ongoing conversations which otherwise might have continued.
I know I'll get it in the neck for this, but the fact that it is the way people behave doesn't mean it's the way they should behave.
A little politeness is free, and goes a long way. |
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On here I've found that if I'm polite people will take liberties. I don't know where the next bout of abuse, threats, or trying to negotiate past my clearly stated boundaries will come from. In terms of trolling, I suggest that's the real problem.
Conversations can stop and start for any reason. There generally isn't any urgency to them. Expect nothing and you'll be pleasantly surprised sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here."
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps. Or perhaps you don't understand the coping mechanisms people put into place. "
Quite possibly not.
But surely someone, male or female, who's actively exploring the possibility of meeting a virtually total stranger for sex can't be so fragile that a couple of words - "sorry, not for me" or even just "bye" could be that much of a stretch, surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it."
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it.
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response?"
As i just said. The negative responses i received were as a response to me saying im really sorry but youre not for me. I hadnt blanked these people at all. I had engaged in long polite discussions leading to that point and if you think a correct response to my saying a polite no which i believe i am within my rights to say is to tell me to fuck my dead mother 4 days after she had passed or that they will find me and come round and take my ugly fat arse anyway i am seriously concerned for human nature |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps. Or perhaps you don't understand the coping mechanisms people put into place.
Quite possibly not.
But surely someone, male or female, who's actively exploring the possibility of meeting a virtually total stranger for sex can't be so fragile that a couple of words - "sorry, not for me" or even just "bye" could be that much of a stretch, surely?"
It means the mail filters won't work if they put the filters on in the future. If they reply - even if it's a "no thank you" - the site software assumes they want more mail from that person in the future because they mailed each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps. Or perhaps you don't understand the coping mechanisms people put into place.
Quite possibly not.
But surely someone, male or female, who's actively exploring the possibility of meeting a virtually total stranger for sex can't be so fragile that a couple of words - "sorry, not for me" or even just "bye" could be that much of a stretch, surely?"
Thats just my point though. If i say a polite sorry youre not for me that should be the end of it. Not a chance for them to come back and be abusive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it.
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response?
As i just said. The negative responses i received were as a response to me saying im really sorry but youre not for me. I hadnt blanked these people at all. I had engaged in long polite discussions leading to that point and if you think a correct response to my saying a polite no which i believe i am within my rights to say is to tell me to fuck my dead mother 4 days after she had passed or that they will find me and come round and take my ugly fat arse anyway i am seriously concerned for human nature"
Don't be daft. Of course I don't. I was taught to treat everyone else with politeness and respect.
The only response you, or anyone else, would ever get from me as a result of politely terminating a conversation would be a polite one.
Has blanking folk when you want to end a conversation reduced the level of abuse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps. Or perhaps you don't understand the coping mechanisms people put into place.
Quite possibly not.
But surely someone, male or female, who's actively exploring the possibility of meeting a virtually total stranger for sex can't be so fragile that a couple of words - "sorry, not for me" or even just "bye" could be that much of a stretch, surely?
Thats just my point though. If i say a polite sorry youre not for me that should be the end of it. Not a chance for them to come back and be abusive "
Absolutely agree. Any reasonable person would respond reasonably to that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it.
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response?
As i just said. The negative responses i received were as a response to me saying im really sorry but youre not for me. I hadnt blanked these people at all. I had engaged in long polite discussions leading to that point and if you think a correct response to my saying a polite no which i believe i am within my rights to say is to tell me to fuck my dead mother 4 days after she had passed or that they will find me and come round and take my ugly fat arse anyway i am seriously concerned for human nature
Don't be daft. Of course I don't. I was taught to treat everyone else with politeness and respect.
The only response you, or anyone else, would ever get from me as a result of politely terminating a conversation would be a polite one.
Has blanking folk when you want to end a conversation reduced the level of abuse?"
Yes because if they become abusive i block and report them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it.
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response?
As i just said. The negative responses i received were as a response to me saying im really sorry but youre not for me. I hadnt blanked these people at all. I had engaged in long polite discussions leading to that point and if you think a correct response to my saying a polite no which i believe i am within my rights to say is to tell me to fuck my dead mother 4 days after she had passed or that they will find me and come round and take my ugly fat arse anyway i am seriously concerned for human nature
Don't be daft. Of course I don't. I was taught to treat everyone else with politeness and respect.
The only response you, or anyone else, would ever get from me as a result of politely terminating a conversation would be a polite one.
Has blanking folk when you want to end a conversation reduced the level of abuse?
Yes because if they become abusive i block and report them"
Not really answering the question. If you got abuse after actively ending a convo I presume you blocked and reported the offender then too. Has the abuse reduced when you blank people, or is there maybe more? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it.
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response?
As i just said. The negative responses i received were as a response to me saying im really sorry but youre not for me. I hadnt blanked these people at all. I had engaged in long polite discussions leading to that point and if you think a correct response to my saying a polite no which i believe i am within my rights to say is to tell me to fuck my dead mother 4 days after she had passed or that they will find me and come round and take my ugly fat arse anyway i am seriously concerned for human nature
Don't be daft. Of course I don't. I was taught to treat everyone else with politeness and respect.
The only response you, or anyone else, would ever get from me as a result of politely terminating a conversation would be a polite one.
Has blanking folk when you want to end a conversation reduced the level of abuse?
Yes because if they become abusive i block and report them
Not really answering the question. If you got abuse after actively ending a convo I presume you blocked and reported the offender then too. Has the abuse reduced when you blank people, or is there maybe more?"
Not a valid question really as i dont tend to blank people so i wouldnt know the answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it.
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response?
As i just said. The negative responses i received were as a response to me saying im really sorry but youre not for me. I hadnt blanked these people at all. I had engaged in long polite discussions leading to that point and if you think a correct response to my saying a polite no which i believe i am within my rights to say is to tell me to fuck my dead mother 4 days after she had passed or that they will find me and come round and take my ugly fat arse anyway i am seriously concerned for human nature
Don't be daft. Of course I don't. I was taught to treat everyone else with politeness and respect.
The only response you, or anyone else, would ever get from me as a result of politely terminating a conversation would be a polite one.
Has blanking folk when you want to end a conversation reduced the level of abuse?
Yes because if they become abusive i block and report them
Not really answering the question. If you got abuse after actively ending a convo I presume you blocked and reported the offender then too. Has the abuse reduced when you blank people, or is there maybe more?
Not a valid question really as i dont tend to blank people so i wouldnt know the answer"
Not necessarily a question just for you. What have others found? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The abuse, for me, reduced dramatically when I stopped being "polite". Like in the order of 75%."
Then I can't argue with that. Sounds kind of counterintuitive but facts is facts.
Gotta be a lot of weird nasty peeps hereabouts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do women chat with u for a few hours or days then suddenly they go quiet on you can the lovely ladies educate me on this?"
From my perspective I chat with most, do not judge or discriminate, but often guys after chatting a little assume a green light and they become pushy and then belligerent. So if they start to go that way I stop talking to them. They seem forget that a hello is simply being polite and not a green light. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a subject I've seen on here a number of times.
The female position is that, for whatever reason (and they are plainly entitled to do so) they change their minds, decide you're not worth pursuing etc etc.
This I quite understand.
What I don't understand is that it seems acceptable here to just blank someone mid-chat. It's a bit cowardly and just plain rude.
It's hiding behind the anonymity afforded by the site like all manner of internet trolls elsewhere.
Time plainly isn't the issue, as we're talking about termination of ongoing conversations which otherwise might have continued.
I know I'll get it in the neck for this, but the fact that it is the way people behave doesn't mean it's the way they should behave.
A little politeness is free, and goes a long way."
When I try to be polite it often backfires. Some don’t take rejection well and abuse follows or they get pushy and think they can coerce me. It’s uncomfortable. No one owes you an explanation for not wanting to message. A few messages doesn’t mean they have to explain or break up, they have decided so if they aren’t answering it means they don’t want to. Just move on to someone who answers and try to figure out what you’ve done that maybe has ended the chat. - Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Your repeated comments really do smack of entitlement to an answer or an explanation. In a pub sometimes people exchange a few words and just go their separate ways, it’s not rude. Demanding the emotional energy of others isn’t fair. Sometimes I just don’t feel like saying no, don’t feel like hearing abuse, don’t feel like setting myself up for it. I send many polite messages but some days I don’t give a damn and shouldn’t be told that it makes me ill mannered. The expectation that women owe a polite response to the inundation of utter bullshit, is ridiculous. Even if you’ve exchanged some chats, maybe for them it wasn’t going anywhere and they’ve simply walked away. Stop telling us we have to answer and do things the way others want us to or we are rude. That’s rude. I don’t tell a man in a pub “sorry that was nice but now I’m done talking” I owe nothing to anyone.
I have nice manners on here and am usually too nice and take a lot of shit on messages, but it’s up to me what I do . Maybe you’re coming off as pushy and you’re unaware. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it."
When I've chatted politely and ended the conversation with a thanks but not for me this has led to a string of why nots, trying to persuade me otherwise or abuse. These kind of attitudes put me off continuing or even entering into a conversation. I can normally tell as the polite part starts to gradually decline. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Make no mistake, I expect nothing, and I've not been surprised yet.
But it isn't the reason for stopping that's the issue for me. Of course there are as many reasons as there are conversations. Folk keep returning to this but it's a red herring.
The issue is the impolite way of ending the conversation. Or, more to the point, no ending it properly at all.
I guess I was brought up in a different time than most here.
The problem is sometimes that ending the conversation politely just doesn't work. The number of times ive said sorry youre not for me then been bombarded with either let me convince you otherwise or the much more sinister go fuck your dead mother or youre ugpy and i wouldnt fuck you anyway. Sometimes being polite just doesn't cut it.
But surely being polite must work most of the time, if you give it a chance. Surely just blanking someone is more likely to generate a negative response?
As i just said. The negative responses i received were as a response to me saying im really sorry but youre not for me. I hadnt blanked these people at all. I had engaged in long polite discussions leading to that point and if you think a correct response to my saying a polite no which i believe i am within my rights to say is to tell me to fuck my dead mother 4 days after she had passed or that they will find me and come round and take my ugly fat arse anyway i am seriously concerned for human nature
Don't be daft. Of course I don't. I was taught to treat everyone else with politeness and respect.
The only response you, or anyone else, would ever get from me as a result of politely terminating a conversation would be a polite one.
Has blanking folk when you want to end a conversation reduced the level of abuse?
Yes because if they become abusive i block and report them
Not really answering the question. If you got abuse after actively ending a convo I presume you blocked and reported the offender then too. Has the abuse reduced when you blank people, or is there maybe more?
Not a valid question really as i dont tend to blank people so i wouldnt know the answer
Not necessarily a question just for you. What have others found?"
Abuse has reduced dramatically since I stopped allowing people to dictate how I used fab, I no longer respond to people I have no interest in, I still get very occasional hissy fits and feet stamping but I just ignore it, as I would a toddler. |
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