FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Equally shy and confident??
Equally shy and confident??
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hey everyone. Just realised I've been here for a week and can post so thought I'd start here and say hello. Hello!
Got my name down to go to my first club experience at jaydees on the 8th Feb. Really excited but also brickin' it!
I'm a bit of a shy lad in every day life, hoping the experiences I have in this lifestyle brings out the hidden confident side in me 
Yet to post any decent pics. My selfie game has always been a bit poor. Requests welcome though x
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello, welcome.
Hope you enjoy your first club "
Thank you! I do too. I've managed to chat to a couple of woman that are going. So it won't be so scary haha x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello, welcome.
Hope you enjoy your first club
Thank you! I do too. I've managed to chat to a couple of woman that are going. So it won't be so scary haha x "
We found it scary the first time and there are two of us  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello, welcome.
Hope you enjoy your first club
Thank you! I do too. I've managed to chat to a couple of woman that are going. So it won't be so scary haha x
We found it scary the first time and there are two of us "
Always good to step out your comfort zone every once in a while. So I'll put my brave socks on and just get myself there haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Take down your fabswingers confirmation pic. Add two or three more in various states of undress but without your cock out. Make your personality come across in your profile and posts and youll be beating them off with a stick.
Provided you carry on with that attitude  You'll do well, I think most established Swingers are quite confident people and will rub off on you... or over you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hello and welcome to Fab. I can imagine going to a club for the first time can be a scary experience. I still remember my first trip, even though it was almost 1.5 years ago.
Jaydees is a very friendly club, with loads of different areas, both to play and socialise. And the hot tub is to die for . Make sure you remember your towel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Take down your fabswingers confirmation pic. Add two or three more in various states of undress but without your cock out. Make your personality come across in your profile and posts and youll be beating them off with a stick.
Provided you carry on with that attitude You'll do well, I think most established Swingers are quite confident people and will rub off on you... or over you "
Thankyou for this. Much appreciated. Like I say I've never been one for taking pics of myself but I'll get round to it for the purpose of fab
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello and welcome to Fab. I can imagine going to a club for the first time can be a scary experience. I still remember my first trip, even though it was almost 1.5 years ago.
Jaydees is a very friendly club, with loads of different areas, both to play and socialise. And the hot tub is to die for . Make sure you remember your towel. "
Thankyou
And yeah I've been told about the hot tub. Think that's where I'll be going for sure! I'm gonna have to have a checklist or something because forgetting a towel sounds exactly like something I'd do haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm gonna have to have a checklist or something because forgetting a towel sounds exactly like something I'd do haha "
It's a problem, as they have towels for hire in the club . Just bring yourself (and money, as well as ID). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You’re jumping straight in. You have my respect. Good luck to you genuinely"
Thankyou fingers crossed I won't be as socially inept as i imagine myself being haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You’re jumping straight in. You have my respect. Good luck to you genuinely
Thankyou fingers crossed I won't be as socially inept as i imagine myself being haha"
You’re not sitting back and moaning like most men on here because women aren’t falling at your feet to fuck you. Not gonna happen. Even if you go and you’re socially inept (as you put it) just go and talk to people, get yourself verified. It’ll go a long way. And then the next time you go, you won’t be as nervous. What you’re doing shows confidence in itself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey everyone. Just realised I've been here for a week and can post so thought I'd start here and say hello. Hello!
Got my name down to go to my first club experience at jaydees on the 8th Feb. Really excited but also brickin' it!
I'm a bit of a shy lad in every day life, hoping the experiences I have in this lifestyle brings out the hidden confident side in me
Yet to post any decent pics. My selfie game has always been a bit poor. Requests welcome though x
"
if your shy have a few drinks it may help because shyness is a hard thing to brake due to me being shy... anyway good luck at the club wish u all the best from a shy guy bit fun after a few drinks but seeing is believing if anything happens good luck once again  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"if your shy have a few drinks it may help because shyness is a hard thing to brake due to me being shy... anyway good luck at the club wish u all the best from a shy guy bit fun after a few drinks but seeing is believing if anything happens good luck once again "
Thanks mate. Yeah I keep changing my mind about the drink situation. As it's my first time I think I'm just going to stick to 2 drinks and be able to drive home at the end of the night. But 2 drinks probably won't be enough to calm myself lol. And ive got no expectations at all really, just to meet people really and see what it's all about .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if your shy have a few drinks it may help because shyness is a hard thing to brake due to me being shy... anyway good luck at the club wish u all the best from a shy guy bit fun after a few drinks but seeing is believing if anything happens good luck once again
Thanks mate. Yeah I keep changing my mind about the drink situation. As it's my first time I think I'm just going to stick to 2 drinks and be able to drive home at the end of the night. But 2 drinks probably won't be enough to calm myself lol. And ive got no expectations at all really, just to meet people really and see what it's all about .
"
your welcome i sure you will meet people at the club just go out there and give it a go which i can not do as i am to nice and upfront which turn people away plus i not sexy looking loll.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
your welcome i sure you will meet people at the club just go out there and give it a go which i can not do as i am to nice and upfront which turn people away plus i not sexy looking loll.. "
Dont be too harsh on yourself. I'd have a pint with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We've been on here a few weeks & have finally plucked up the courage to arrange our first club visit this weekend so we know how you feel! We're excited, nervous & everything in between. There's 2 of us & we've arranged to meet another couple beforehand who've been before & we're still bricking it so fair play to you for doing it on your own. Mr is pretty shy but once he gets settled he's fine, I'm sure you'll be the same. Just remember everyone in there was a first timer once so will understand how you feel (that's what I keep reminding myself anyway). Have a fab time! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We've been on here a few weeks & have finally plucked up the courage to arrange our first club visit this weekend so we know how you feel! We're excited, nervous & everything in between. There's 2 of us & we've arranged to meet another couple beforehand who've been before & we're still bricking it so fair play to you for doing it on your own. Mr is pretty shy but once he gets settled he's fine, I'm sure you'll be the same. Just remember everyone in there was a first timer once so will understand how you feel (that's what I keep reminding myself anyway). Have a fab time! "
They will. I've only been to one, but everyone treated me with kindness, staff included. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if your shy have a few drinks it may help because shyness is a hard thing to brake due to me being shy... anyway good luck at the club wish u all the best from a shy guy bit fun after a few drinks but seeing is believing if anything happens good luck once again
Thanks mate. Yeah I keep changing my mind about the drink situation. As it's my first time I think I'm just going to stick to 2 drinks and be able to drive home at the end of the night. But 2 drinks probably won't be enough to calm myself lol. And ive got no expectations at all really, just to meet people really and see what it's all about .
"
That's what I did, went with no expectations.. stayed on two beers then switched to 0%. Gave me option to leave if it was shit and not commit to more spending for a hotel.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That's what I did, went with no expectations.. stayed on two beers then switched to 0%. Gave me option to leave if it was shit and not commit to more spending for a hotel.
"
Wise move...now you've mentioned it definitely gonna take some 0% beer. Hopefully it will work a little like a placebo |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
High 5 OP!
More men should take a leaf out of your book.
Sure your first visit will be scary, trying to remember rules, where things are and trying to make friends, but go with no expectations to play and just think of it as a good night out socialising, with less clothes!
The more you go the easier it will get, you will recognise people and find it easier to approach to chat.
If you don't step out of your comfort zone it will never expand.
Having social anxiety myself, going to organised socials and then the clubs was the best thing I ever did, I'm much improved, when before I'd sit in a corner waiting to leave.
I wish you all the best, and would be lovely to read here how it went afterwards. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"High 5 OP!
More men should take a leaf out of your book.
Sure your first visit will be scary, trying to remember rules, where things are and trying to make friends, but go with no expectations to play and just think of it as a good night out socialising, with less clothes!
The more you go the easier it will get, you will recognise people and find it easier to approach to chat.
If you don't step out of your comfort zone it will never expand.
Having social anxiety myself, going to organised socials and then the clubs was the best thing I ever did, I'm much improved, when before I'd sit in a corner waiting to leave.
I wish you all the best, and would be lovely to read here how it went afterwards. "
*High 5 back*
Yeah I definitely don't have any expectations to play.
Happy to hear how your social anxiety has improved. I have similar issues and Tryna stop myself from being an insecure little fanny lol.
Thankyou so much. I will definitely keep you updated with how it goes for me xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve only been to Cupid’s once with an ex fb, I was bricking it even though I had company. Just be friendly without leering a smile goes along way."
Cheers man. Got it. Smile. Don't leer. Be friendly. I got this haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Good on you for biting the bullet and going to a club. Enjoy your time there. The social aspect is what brings it all to life. "
Thankyou!yeah the social aspect of this whole thing is the reason I decided to join this site x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
your welcome i sure you will meet people at the club just go out there and give it a go which i can not do as i am to nice and upfront which turn people away plus i not sexy looking loll..
Dont be too harsh on yourself. I'd have a pint with you "
i am not being harsh on my self just being honest in the end i got to joke now and then as for the women they skip me in the end like one of the women here told u the women here will fall at your feet because you a nice guy.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
your welcome i sure you will meet people at the club just go out there and give it a go which i can not do as i am to nice and upfront which turn people away plus i not sexy looking loll..
Dont be too harsh on yourself. I'd have a pint with you i am not being harsh on my self just being honest in the end i got to joke now and then as for the women they skip me in the end like one of the women here told u the women here will fall at your feet because you a nice guy.. "
From what I can gather from being here in the short time I have, going to a club is your best option to meet some cool people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You have a beautiful face and seem warm and friendly . I'd definitely talk to you if you approached me."
Well that's definitely reassuring. Especially from someone that's in my hotlist haha. Was gonna wait until I hit 30 so I could message you lmao! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Hey everyone. Just realised I've been here for a week and can post so thought I'd start here and say hello. Hello!
Got my name down to go to my first club experience at jaydees on the 8th Feb. Really excited but also brickin' it!
I'm a bit of a shy lad in every day life, hoping the experiences I have in this lifestyle brings out the hidden confident side in me
Yet to post any decent pics. My selfie game has always been a bit poor. Requests welcome though x
"
I felt to how you did on the train thinking is this really going to happen, I was lucky I had a friend advice me what it was like and what to expect before going.
My advice is to talk to people when you ate at the club both men and women, develop a network, don't expect to get laid and most importantly have fun. It's ok to be nervous and not know what you are doing, that's fun part about it.
Good luck man |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have a beautiful face and seem warm and friendly . I'd definitely talk to you if you approached me.
Well that's definitely reassuring. Especially from someone that's in my hotlist haha. Was gonna wait until I hit 30 so I could message you lmao! "
SMOOTH! You don't need our help!
Enjoy the night mate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
your welcome i sure you will meet people at the club just go out there and give it a go which i can not do as i am to nice and upfront which turn people away plus i not sexy looking loll..
Dont be too harsh on yourself. I'd have a pint with you i am not being harsh on my self just being honest in the end i got to joke now and then as for the women they skip me in the end like one of the women here told u the women here will fall at your feet because you a nice guy..
From what I can gather from being here in the short time I have, going to a club is your best option to meet some cool people "
ya your 100% right which why it hard on here to meet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I felt to how you did on the train thinking is this really going to happen, I was lucky I had a friend advice me what it was like and what to expect before going.
My advice is to talk to people when you ate at the club both men and women, develop a network, don't expect to get laid and most importantly have fun. It's ok to be nervous and not know what you are doing, that's fun part about it.
Good luck man"
Cheers dude, really appreciate it! Yeah I'm just looking forward to hopefully a decent night out and something a little different to my usual scene |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I'm extremely shy in real life. Clubs can be brilliant for that, if you go in with working on your shyness as a goal. But you have to make the effort. It can be really hard, but I promise it's worth it. The club has been great therapy for me
Don't sit quietly in a corner waiting for people to approach you. Most of the time they won't (although looking like you do, maybe they will. I know a few women who would be all over you).
It will be hard at first, but force yourself to approach people. Talk. Join in conversations. Be friendly. Be respectful. Don't dive straight in with invitations to play. Be the sort of person that people want to spend time with.
Go in with zero expectations. If your first night is disappointing, go back with a positive attitude and try again. Your experience will depend not only on the attitude you bring, but also the mix of people who happen to be there. Every night is different. I've been to the club one night and just not felt it, then gone back the next and had a brilliant time.
I have some friends at the club I go to that I'm never going to play with (except in my dreams). But I'm always delighted to see them, because they're always great company. It isn't all about sex. Making new friends is worthwhile in itself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well you know what I think of your pictures gorgeous and I'll hold you to our conversation about Pleasures being your second club trip!!! Good luck...you'll be fine
Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well you know what I think of your pictures gorgeous and I'll hold you to our conversation about Pleasures being your second club trip!!! Good luck...you'll be fine
Xx"
Pleasures definitely next on my list for sure!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's natural for people to be excited/nervous in a new social environment - the distinction between nervousness and excitement is what we each personally define.That nervous energy can influence how we behave,are perceived by others etc but is also true in reverse: if we relax, that state of mind influences different behaviour and perceptions from others. So develop your habits of relaxation - it'll help in all walks of life.When something is a habit, it becomes easier and often done without thinking about it It's probably going to be easier to sustain confidence when you're more relaxed. And also if you ensure that you're not pressuring yourself. Spend time with staff, who will want to ensure you're feeling welome and will give good vibes for you they'll probably show you around and explain things - get your membership application sorted early, according to their requirements, often in advance.
Make small talk with anyone who appears inviting and also sense when they're ready to move on etc. Smile a lot - it helps others to relax as well as yourself.
Consider just setting a fixed time limit to be there, on your first visit, so that your energies aren't drained. If you perceive it as a fact finding visit and necessary first step, then you'll be fine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
seem you getting lot of nice replies to you forum seem the females and couples like you even said they would help you with taking photos.. anyway have great fun on the day you go to the club. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
