FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Verification etiquette
Verification etiquette
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Hey fellow fabsters, we have a question for you. We see two couples regularly and plan to continue doing so until we all drop dead. How many times do you verify the same couple? What if there are not a lot of others outside those two couples? If we stop verifying, will it make it look like we have quit swinging? Why is everything so hard (so to speak?) Thanks in advance for the advice! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to only verify people once, but that’s just so people know they are genuine. That’s not a reflection of my activities or how many times I’ve met them but seems to be an unwritten rule with people I meet. If I was asked to verify every meet up, I wouldn’t have a problem with that
I don’t write graphic details on my verifications and don’t display the very detailed ones, I like to leave some things to the imagination and between all parties involved but that’s my personal preference
Im pretty sure there’s no hard and fast rule here around the number of verifications but sometimes some users can be put off by a load of verifications and others where there’s no recent verifications so can be a difficult one to judge |
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I tend to only verify people once, but that’s just so people know they are genuine. That’s not a reflection of my activities or how many times I’ve met them but seems to be an unwritten rule with people I meet. If I was asked to verify every meet up, I wouldn’t have a problem with that
I don’t write graphic details on my verifications and don’t display the very detailed ones, I like to leave some things to the imagination and between all parties involved but that’s my personal preference
Im pretty sure there’s no hard and fast rule here around the number of verifications but sometimes some users can be put off by a load of verifications and others where there’s no recent verifications so can be a difficult one to judge "
Thanks! Lots to think about. Wish we had discussed this at the last meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to veri once, unless there is a specific memory that I want to leave a record of, that would normally be something comical that happened on the meet. |
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I think two is enough. A social meet and a play meet verification. "
Sounds good to me... to bad I’d already written a verification before I asked questions on here... hindsight and all that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does vary dependant upon the person the, a couple I know who host a big social annually ask for a veri after each social, so others can see how well attended it was etc. I always oblige because I can see the reasoning behind it. |
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Entirely up to you, not all veris need to be displayed and I like to read mine as a reminder of the meet or party as a sort of diary entry."
Hmmm that is sort of what we’re been doing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I verify once. You know from what I say in it if I want to meet again.
I don't write or display explicit ones, they put me off.
The ones that have a veri for every meet put me off too, it looks like they have been 'claimed'. |
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"I think two is enough. A social meet and a play meet verification. "
I agree. I think when you see a line of veris from the same person it screams 'lamp post pissing'.
I see veris as 'yes this person is real' or 'yes we played'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree verification is meant to show that you are genuine.
So one for sure, maybe 2 its ok if is a contiuous situation...
Verification are good of course but can bring some problem too, for example I had no success to met in more than one situation here because I'm not verified by meeting... but it can't be done if I not meet... how you broke the circle? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't veri
You would not put on Facebook everyone you've had fun with
Or tell everyone down the pub
Just send them a message to there inbox after each meet saying thanks for a sexy evening bla bla bla
It's no one else's business |
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I'd potentially verify twice, once for the social and again for a meet. I think it's reasonable to do the second because realistically who writes or displays a bad veri? the meet veri proves they were worth meeting and the first wasn't just politeness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have numerous repeat veris and most of our regulars verify us when we meet, it’s become a running joke at the amount of veris we have, shows we are active and those we want to meet again we do, shows even with loads of veris we are not just looking for notches
I guess the conclusion is just do what you want to do, people interpret verifications in different ways anyway, just look st the varying answers in this thread x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once or twice is ok more is just odd if its in the same year if its over a number of years then that's not so bad but when you see 6 plus from the same person can look excessive. |
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Ok. We covered how often to verify the same couple. Now, tell us all what you like to see in a verification. If you are reading verifications on a prospective profile, what makes you think, “I’m going to message these folks”? |
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"Ok. We covered how often to verify the same couple. Now, tell us all what you like to see in a verification. If you are reading verifications on a prospective profile, what makes you think, “I’m going to message these folks”?"
Nothing I’ve ever seen in a profile would encourage me to message someone, they may be a few things that put me off though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We covered how often to verify the same couple. Now, tell us all what you like to see in a verification. If you are reading verifications on a prospective profile, what makes you think, “I’m going to message these folks”?"
for me its all about are they fun or not, i dont need graphic details about the meet just would you go back, if it was fun i assume you would if you would then why wouldnt i |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Were they fun? Were they as they put themselves forward in their profile? As I’m into the more dominant types, I look for hints of this: ‘knew how to take charge of the situation’ etc. Nothing too crude - loads of those and I reckon they’re attracted to a different kind of person to me. The ones that say ‘lovely guy, had a nice time’ put me off as I reckon that it was a pretty boring meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey fellow fabsters, we have a question for you. We see two couples regularly and plan to continue doing so until we all drop dead. How many times do you verify the same couple? What if there are not a lot of others outside those two couples? If we stop verifying, will it make it look like we have quit swinging? Why is everything so hard (so to speak?) Thanks in advance for the advice!"
once is enough, I mean how many times can you say " don't mess them around " or " they turned up when they said they would " or " she's paying what you having? "
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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago
Cap d’Agde, France |
Verification’s are an important tool for sorting out players from fantasists.
We don’t meet with those who don’t have recent play Veri’s
We mainly display our play verification’s not our social meets (which we rarely write one for) and one veri per couple is enough. |
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Hi folks... If you're repeatedly meeting someone over a long period of time, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't write each other an additional veri every year or two, just to show that you're still active and enjoying the lifestyle. I can't see anyone having any issues with couples meeting regularly. It's only singles who get grief for that 
I have multiple repeat veris from my fwb from when we started meeting first.... They caused untold problems! We got lots of nasty messages from strangers telling us that we should be on a dating site rather than a swinging site and I was repeatedly told to 'fuck off to PoF' and stop wasting genuine swingers time. It wasn't confined to messages either... Our local feed would be peppered with childish status updates speculating about when we were going to get married and even asking some of our previous/other meets how they felt about being 'cast aside'. We never cast anyone aside. We both kept meeting others during the first year, but the depth of our connection obviously rankled with lots of people. Almost 3 years later we're still enjoying that connection and having amazing sex (he's no longer active on Fab), while most of those bitter people seem to be gone. It did cause problems though... Both of us experienced jealousy from others we were meeting (it eventually lead to him leaving the site) and we stopped verifying each other. I wrote him 1 veri after a long period, just saying that we were still enjoying each other's company, giggles and bodies after a long time... He displayed it briefly and the abuse started again, both from strangers and another woman he had met... That's when he left Fab.
Delighted you have found regular playmates that you enjoy so much! I think that's what most people desire... Long may it last!  |
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Hi folks... If you're repeatedly meeting someone over a long period of time, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't write each other an additional veri every year or two, just to show that you're still active and enjoying the lifestyle. I can't see anyone having any issues with couples meeting regularly. It's only singles who get grief for that
I have multiple repeat veris from my fwb from when we started meeting first.... They caused untold problems! We got lots of nasty messages from strangers telling us that we should be on a dating site rather than a swinging site and I was repeatedly told to 'fuck off to PoF' and stop wasting genuine swingers time. It wasn't confined to messages either... Our local feed would be peppered with childish status updates speculating about when we were going to get married and even asking some of our previous/other meets how they felt about being 'cast aside'. We never cast anyone aside. We both kept meeting others during the first year, but the depth of our connection obviously rankled with lots of people. Almost 3 years later we're still enjoying that connection and having amazing sex (he's no longer active on Fab), while most of those bitter people seem to be gone. It did cause problems though... Both of us experienced jealousy from others we were meeting (it eventually lead to him leaving the site) and we stopped verifying each other. I wrote him 1 veri after a long period, just saying that we were still enjoying each other's company, giggles and bodies after a long time... He displayed it briefly and the abuse started again, both from strangers and another woman he had met... That's when he left Fab.
Delighted you have found regular playmates that you enjoy so much! I think that's what most people desire... Long may it last! "
Interesting story. Surprised at the grief you’ve received on here over multiple verifications. We’ve received a bit of grief too for not being British. |
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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago
Cap d’Agde, France |
"Hi folks... If you're repeatedly meeting someone over a long period of time, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't write each other an additional veri every year or two, just to show that you're still active and enjoying the lifestyle. I can't see anyone having any issues with couples meeting regularly. It's only singles who get grief for that
I have multiple repeat veris from my fwb from when we started meeting first.... They caused untold problems! We got lots of nasty messages from strangers telling us that we should be on a dating site rather than a swinging site and I was repeatedly told to 'fuck off to PoF' and stop wasting genuine swingers time. It wasn't confined to messages either... Our local feed would be peppered with childish status updates speculating about when we were going to get married and even asking some of our previous/other meets how they felt about being 'cast aside'. We never cast anyone aside. We both kept meeting others during the first year, but the depth of our connection obviously rankled with lots of people. Almost 3 years later we're still enjoying that connection and having amazing sex (he's no longer active on Fab), while most of those bitter people seem to be gone. It did cause problems though... Both of us experienced jealousy from others we were meeting (it eventually lead to him leaving the site) and we stopped verifying each other. I wrote him 1 veri after a long period, just saying that we were still enjoying each other's company, giggles and bodies after a long time... He displayed it briefly and the abuse started again, both from strangers and another woman he had met... That's when he left Fab.
Delighted you have found regular playmates that you enjoy so much! I think that's what most people desire... Long may it last!
Interesting story. Surprised at the grief you’ve received on here over multiple verifications. We’ve received a bit of grief too for not being British. "
Hmmmm...
Perhaps we should ask Fab to have a new category in their forum,
“ I’m really pissed off about.... “
it’ll be fun reading... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok I'm not an expert but I can say that I like the verif that let you see a bit the spirit and the sensation of the meeting, just tell if you felt good and, if they are friendly, if it was a good time.
Definitelly not the kind like "butcher shopping list" like:
"We met she bent over 43,46degrees and I fuck her and she say bla bla...her pussy was tot cm open.."
(I really have read some similar) bad.
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We tend to verify after a first . And the if it's the same fabulous friends every so often .thought being one they are on the scene.
Two it was still awesome
Three a complement to give them credibility and profidence for further fun on the world of fab . |
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For a single woman I've seen multiple veris by the same guy. He's obviously cock blocking.
If I see someone's 20+ one every couple of weeks then I'm not interested in becoming Mr every 3rd Wednesday afternoon.
More people on here don't bother with veris. |
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Thanks all! It appears we got off on the wrong foot a bit with verifications as our first couple gave verifications every time we met and we responded in kind assuming that verifications after every meet was the norm. We are still super low in numbers as we are still relatively new and I don’t think we did too much harm to ourselves or our friends by over verifying. If you think we should display fewer verifications let us know. |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
We see this regularly. A group of friends head out on a social or to a club together and everytime they verify each other. Very strange we think. We normally verify twice. But like you say it's a nightmare not verifying people back as some think it's rude and get the hump. Suppose it shows character in a way. We don't show verifications from same people time after time if they keep verifying us. At the most we'll put it up for a couple of days then remove it. Everyone on fab has their way so each to their own we would say. If it works for you as they say. |
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I think it's up to the people in question, but I tend to verify twice for an ongoing situation (maybe again after a long time period). This person/ couple is genuine fun, then, this person is worth seeing again and I do. (and maybe, although I've not done it yet, yes I still see this person and I stand by my comments, although I'm not sure where the line is between "yes this is still ongoing" and "he's mine hands off", the latter not being something I'd want to say)
For more occasional meets I'm more inclined to verify every time as it shows we're both still active. |
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Like being in a sweetshop and not quite finding the ones you want. With veris, often less is more. It's a double-edged sword.
Do any of us like reading about what someone else did with a prospective partner?
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"Like being in a sweetshop and not quite finding the ones you want. With veris, often less is more. It's a double-edged sword.
Do any of us like reading about what someone else did with a prospective partner?
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Sometimes yes, it's hot. Sometimes I want to read between the lines: is this person/ couple safe, respectful, fun to be around, etc? (I try to address those questions when I verify people) |
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Im happy to write veris for people, but only if they request one.I always check with them first. Im very glad to receive them. I like to be discreet, as our meetings are private, as far as Im concerned, so I dont describe any intimate details. |
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Two of the five ladies I've met, I've met twice. I verified all of them but only three posted my message which is ALWAYS the recipient's choice, and in turn verified me on here. It's always about choice to comply and list if you want to. Surely you would make it clear at the time of meeting whether you would like to see them again. A PM saying thank you, and hope you like my verification is surely the only polite way to go. Explicit details isn't necessary. Knowing people are genuine is. |
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Once, twice, thrice? Who cares so long as you all had fun. Personally, I try to hold at two but have been known to leave extras after a particularly good night. Never the ‘don't miss out’ or ‘treat with respect’ variety.
On the numbers thing, when is too many, too many?
I don’t show all mine, nor my friends list. I display my summary as I want people to see I’ve met couples alongside guys, TV/TS and ladies. The majority of meets are straight but lots aren’t. For me, the number on show is not a record of how many bedroom notches, but what they thought of our time together.
My patented double checking verifications method has led to some interesting finds, regular use of the report button and private note nirvana. So much material I could write a book rather than feature in one |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
As I attend clubs and socials you tend to bump into the same crowd most of the time. So to avoid a continuous round Robin of verifications I just do the one and only ever display one from a person if they have done me a verification more than once (when I do display verifications). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A couple at the most I guess or it looks like you are a bit clingy as for social meets at events they are a total waste of time just people who don't really meet and play just slapping each others backs nothing more. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Hey fellow fabsters, we have a question for you. We see two couples regularly and plan to continue doing so until we all drop dead. How many times do you verify the same couple? What if there are not a lot of others outside those two couples? If we stop verifying, will it make it look like we have quit swinging? Why is everything so hard (so to speak?) Thanks in advance for the advice!"
I think verifying once a year would be fine, shows you are loyal, and commited to swinging. |
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"A couple at the most I guess or it looks like you are a bit clingy as for social meets at events they are a total waste of time just people who don't really meet and play just slapping each others backs nothing more. "
For some it's a damn site better than nothing. "Knows how to behave in public" might be the difference between getting meets and not. |
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"Why is it that when 2 un-verified people meet neither can verify the other , although both are obviously genuine , seems a bit chicken and egg scenario , I wonder how the first ever person on fab was ever verified , just a thought . !-   "
I've read that the first people on Fab were verified by the owners.
Two unverified people can't verify each other because there's no way of telling if either of them actually exist or are who they say they are. |
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"Why is it that when 2 un-verified people meet neither can verify the other , although both are obviously genuine , seems a bit chicken and egg scenario , I wonder how the first ever person on fab was ever verified , just a thought . !-
I've read that the first people on Fab were verified by the owners.
Two unverified people can't verify each other because there's no way of telling if either of them actually exist or are who they say they are. "
They surely must exist if they have met one another , and even then they cannot verify one another .
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"Why is it that when 2 un-verified people meet neither can verify the other , although both are obviously genuine , seems a bit chicken and egg scenario , I wonder how the first ever person on fab was ever verified , just a thought . !-
I've read that the first people on Fab were verified by the owners.
Two unverified people can't verify each other because there's no way of telling if either of them actually exist or are who they say they are.
They surely must exist if they have met one another , and even then they cannot verify one another .
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Yes, but it's only their word that they've met each other. "They" might be two phones in the left hand and the right hand of the same person who's making it all up. |
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"Why is it that when 2 un-verified people meet neither can verify the other , although both are obviously genuine , seems a bit chicken and egg scenario , I wonder how the first ever person on fab was ever verified , just a thought . !-
I've read that the first people on Fab were verified by the owners.
Two unverified people can't verify each other because there's no way of telling if either of them actually exist or are who they say they are.
They surely must exist if they have met one another , and even then they cannot verify one another .
Yes, but it's only their word that they've met each other. "They" might be two phones in the left hand and the right hand of the same person who's making it all up. "
Yes I get that , never thought of it that way , fair enough and thank you for the explanation . |
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No worries. I've certainly seen (although can't prove it) profiles which have verified each other where the writing style, down to unusual spelling mistakes, was identical. It's not a foolproof system, unfortunately, but it's better than nothing. |
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By *dquest OP Couple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"No worries. I've certainly seen (although can't prove it) profiles which have verified each other where the writing style, down to unusual spelling mistakes, was identical. It's not a foolproof system, unfortunately, but it's better than nothing. "
We’ve seen several of those as well. Typically the profile lacks a profile picture and the reviews are two to three lines long.  |
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