FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > I don't get it?
I don't get it?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the socials say, no single males. Then what?"
Ask a woman for a social just the two of you! It's really not difficult.
You only need to meet for 30-60 mins during the day and just for a coffee etc. Doesn't need to go on longer then that. Just enough time to establish mutual attraction and whether you're comfortable alone with that person.
If all goes wrong, all you've wasted is up to an hour of your time and the price of a coffee! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women can be selective about whom they meet. Maybe it's how you message them? Also most women judge you on your messages, and what you are seeking. They look at your profile before replying most of the time. I have had no problem with social meets. |
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Just because it’s a site for swingers... doesn’t mean people will just jump into bed. It’s like going to a bar... people will take their time, get to chat and have a connection with the person they ‘may’ take home x |
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"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
We will just leave you be with your ego and flat stomach
Meanwhile this beer belly owning man is off to another meet..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
You’re doing this swinging thing wrong....
Stop messaging women and couples to meet for sex...
Start messaging them for coffee and club meets.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look
We will just leave you be with your ego and flat stomach
Meanwhile this beer belly owning man is off to another meet..
"
Love it.. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"If the socials say, no single males. Then what?
Most socials allow single men, but limit the numbers"
Crowalnd social is my nearest, but they have filtered single men out.
Filters are the one hurdle that I can't get around, no matter how much positive thinking, decent photos/profile and messages are involved. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"If the socials say, no single males. Then what?
Ask a woman for a social just the two of you! It's really not difficult.
You only need to meet for 30-60 mins during the day and just for a coffee etc. Doesn't need to go on longer then that. Just enough time to establish mutual attraction and whether you're comfortable alone with that person.
If all goes wrong, all you've wasted is up to an hour of your time and the price of a coffee! "
Is that an offer for a coffee then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look
You’re doing this swinging thing wrong....
Stop messaging women and couples to meet for sex...
Start messaging them for coffee and club meets...."
Which leads to sex!!! Long as mutual attraction is there, obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello everyone,
A lot of assumptions being made by a number of you.
1. My messages are nice, chatty, have no direct reference to sex
2. I’m certainly in the ilk of going for coffee, tea and a simple get to know you chat
3. I’m not and nor ever expected someone to simply jump into bed with me, I’m 37 and not 17
4. I message but never get a reply, it’s really weird ( messages are polite, chatty and what I consider friendly tinder chat )
Just having a reply to a message would be a start, actually having a coffee at this stage would probably blow my mind.
I think the ‘gods’ have decided my fate does not lie in the world of meeting women  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A bigger guy would say that they don’t get a chance because of guys like you but Rome wasn’t built in a day I’m focusing on social meets and hopefully fitting one in soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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4 weeks is nothing. There are approximately 7 squillion (to the nearest half bajillion) men on here bombarding every woman with roughly 140,000 messages every minute. (These are accurate figures)
With those volumes, the notion of meeting is not viewed as the treasure at the end of a great quest by most women, they can take their time and know that if they want one at any time it is there.
If you want to meet I would advise going to clubs instead of focusing too much on here. |
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
As people have said 4 weeks isn't long and your messages you think are acceptable but you are not getting a reply to them so maybe what you are sending isn't getting you anywhere so rethink them. |
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"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
yeah a month is nothing you have to be patient and there are more men than women on here so that's why they are selective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
Guess women just fall down at your feet in non fab world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello everyone,
A lot of assumptions being made by a number of you.
1. My messages are nice, chatty, have no direct reference to sex
2. I’m certainly in the ilk of going for coffee, tea and a simple get to know you chat
3. I’m not and nor ever expected someone to simply jump into bed with me, I’m 37 and not 17
4. I message but never get a reply, it’s really weird ( messages are polite, chatty and what I consider friendly tinder chat )
Just having a reply to a message would be a start, actually having a coffee at this stage would probably blow my mind.
I think the ‘gods’ have decided my fate does not lie in the world of meeting women "
Not helpful at all but I think you seem really nice and if I was local to you would definitely meet for a coffee. I’d say on the strength of your profile, and if the content of your mesgs are as you state, keep going and you’ll get there xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look
We will just leave you be with your ego and flat stomach
Meanwhile this beer belly owning man is off to another meet..
Love it.."
|
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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Hello everyone,
A lot of assumptions being made by a number of you.
1. My messages are nice, chatty, have no direct reference to sex
2. I’m certainly in the ilk of going for coffee, tea and a simple get to know you chat
3. I’m not and nor ever expected someone to simply jump into bed with me, I’m 37 and not 17
4. I message but never get a reply, it’s really weird ( messages are polite, chatty and what I consider friendly tinder chat )
Just having a reply to a message would be a start, actually having a coffee at this stage would probably blow my mind.
I think the ‘gods’ have decided my fate does not lie in the world of meeting women "
OP we get quite a few well thought out messages. From polite males and some offer socials and no reference to sex etc. etc.
It's not always about those things on here, their goalposts and requirements will change with every person you could contact on here.
All you can do is read very carefully every profile before you make contact, when you've read it, read it again and look for what they are specifically looking for, when you've done that look at what about you and your profile fulfills that. Then reference it in a message.
As is also always said go to socials and clubs, no excuses, if you aren't seen to be prepared to do this the assumption may be you won't attend a meet, it's as much about proving you are willing and able to meet. |
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Profile looks fine but remember the 50-1 ratio of men to women. A couple of successful socials will help and as they say "it's swinging not instashag" some guys are close to a year before an actual meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look
Guess women just fall down at your feet in non fab world "
Yep. It’s so frustrating |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
Consider the fact that some women can be put off by the "gym" in the username and your references to fitness. It's great, but ladies after having kids with the mummy belly may feel intimidated.
When you send a message are you sure that you fit their preferences, so don't waste your time or theirs by writing to people who are not suitable.
Do your messages demonstrate that you have read the person's profile and have found something in common.
Finally go to an organised social in your area , or go along to a club. Getting a few verifications and seeing people face to face can be a great start. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
Can't understand why you can't get meets . With your six pack . Pecs . Body of a Adonis . And your modesty . They must be all lesbians  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look Can't understand why you can't get meets . With your six pack . Pecs . Body of a Adonis . And your modesty . They must be all lesbians "
I've been told I must be a lesbian when I said I wasn't interested.. Quite a few times  |
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Wow.. only a month.. it took me about 3 months just to get someone to go on cam with me, and about half a year to get someone to meet me.. lucky tho as they keep coming back but it dose take time so just be paitiet... hope it helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look Can't understand why you can't get meets . With your six pack . Pecs . Body of a Adonis . And your modesty . They must be all lesbians
I've been told I must be a lesbian when I said I wasn't interested.. Quite a few times "
it's us mens way of coping with rejection |
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For the op .
The fact is this , and it’s a simple fact .
Fab has way more single guys than women or couples . Some say up to twenty guys to every single woman !
So as you say in your first post , they can be really selective , and it’s easy to be passed by .
If you went into a regular club or busy larger fun pub you would find a much more equal male to female mix , and you would no doubt pull .
So you end up here , and suffer like so many single guys simply because you are just another guy for the women to ignore .
Best advice from us is to only contact local women and couples who are actually looking for a meet . Check out meets and events in your vicinity . And try your luck with that , or get to a social and get that first meet veri .
Good luck . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
Had to look up 'weezie' and you appear to have used it wrongly as it pertains to a certain type of woman. Might be a clue there if you are using incorrect vocabulary in your messages... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
How far are you willing to travel? |
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"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
Out of Shape?
Weezie?
You've just insulted half the parents on this site with that comment??
D'you think us guys be it single or as a couple hit the gym 8 hours a day 6 days a week??
Grow up my uneducated friend, when guys aren't pruning their garden, creasing their shirts and crop spraying KC onto every bare inch of skin we work, get home tired then pick up slack with kids and regular family life.
We have personality, patience and perseverance.
And 4 weeks in with a bee in your bonnet is a guaranteed way to get you absolutely nowhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am one of those incredibly selective. Now boo me lol"
And so you should be! No one in their right mind would be given a choice of hundreds and select something that doesn’t appeal to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look "
To be honest, I’d get rid of the ‘gym’ bit in your username. Remember this place is full of 30 year old gym fanatics with ridiculously sculpted bodies. If women see or look for ‘gym’ they are probably going to expect that ultra perfect personal trainer look and they can find it easily enough too. |
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"Hello everyone,
A lot of assumptions being made by a number of you.
1. My messages are nice, chatty, have no direct reference to sex
2. I’m certainly in the ilk of going for coffee, tea and a simple get to know you chat
3. I’m not and nor ever expected someone to simply jump into bed with me, I’m 37 and not 17
4. I message but never get a reply, it’s really weird ( messages are polite, chatty and what I consider friendly tinder chat )
Just having a reply to a message would be a start, actually having a coffee at this stage would probably blow my mind.
I think the ‘gods’ have decided my fate does not lie in the world of meeting women "
Expectations management is all.
Fab rules and standard practice means you generally won't get a reply when there's no interest. This holds even if someone has model looks or wasn't far from requirements.
Take it to 40 weeks as new users generally find little happens. |
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Oddly enough my beer belly doesn't seem to get in my way 
Maybe since you have those physical attributes so clearly sorted you maybe need to look at other areas of yourself? Would appear that women maybe looking beyond your model looks and fitness in this free market economy of men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So what if they go for the “out of shape, beer belly” look? Maybe that guy has far more personality and has more about him than you do.
This forum post won’t do you any favours at all. |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
"So what if they go for the “out of shape, beer belly” look? Maybe that guy has far more personality and has more about him than you do.
This forum post won’t do you any favours at all. "
I have to agree with this totally its not purely about looks and you don't put yourself in a good light OP. |
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A pointer for the future: if they say they will meet someone in the age range 18-99 they most certainly won’t. Check their verifications to see the actual age range of people they meet. Saves time and possible grief.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look Can't understand why you can't get meets . With your six pack . Pecs . Body of a Adonis . And your modesty . They must be all lesbians
I've been told I must be a lesbian when I said I wasn't interested.. Quite a few times it's us mens way of coping with rejection "
I gathered that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am one of those incredibly selective. Now boo me lol
And so you should be! No one in their right mind would be given a choice of hundreds and select something that doesn’t appeal to them."
God bless your cotton socks finally someone who understands me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what if they go for the “out of shape, beer belly” look? Maybe that guy has far more personality and has more about him than you do.
This forum post won’t do you any favours at all. "
I almost get that some people have pre conceived ideas about anyone who hits the gym. The assumption being you're automatically vain dick with no personality.
You can actually have a balance, go out and socialise and still be in good shape. I drink most weekends and still do normal things but still manage to look after myself. I appreciate as a young man with little responsibility that's easier for me. |
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"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look
We will just leave you be with your ego and flat stomach
Meanwhile this beer belly owning man is off to another meet..
"
. |
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"Hello All,
So 4 weeks in, taken all the feedback and advice from everyone regarding my profile, pics and still I'm a fab virgin, nothing, not even close to anything.
If I were out of shape, weezie and had a beer belly I would say yep I get it, i understand.
But wow women on here are obviously incredibly selective or may be they really do go for the out of shape, weezie, beer belly look
Out of Shape?
Weezie?
You've just insulted half the parents on this site with that comment??
D'you think us guys be it single or as a couple hit the gym 8 hours a day 6 days a week??
Grow up my uneducated friend, when guys aren't pruning their garden, creasing their shirts and crop spraying KC onto every bare inch of skin we work, get home tired then pick up slack with kids and regular family life.
We have personality, patience and perseverance.
And 4 weeks in with a bee in your bonnet is a guaranteed way to get you absolutely nowhere. "
absolute class love your reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awww man
Not just the men, also alot of woman to.. fab is a hard world which takes alot of paitients and if people don't have the paitients then maybe fab is not for them. X"
I was meaning ‘aww man’ because he had left |
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"Awww man
Not just the men, also alot of woman to.. fab is a hard world which takes alot of paitients and if people don't have the paitients then maybe fab is not for them. X
I was meaning ‘aww man’ because he had left "
Oh well in that case "AWW MEN"
Anyway! How are you? X |
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