FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Am I wasting my time?

Am I wasting my time?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi all.

I have been a member of this site for maybe a couple of months now. I have sent out messages to women who have caught my eye but hardly any of them actually get read, they don't even look at my profile and I never get any sort of reply.

I messages are always polite and respectful but they are not even being read. I cannot work out why people are asking for this and that and then when someone messages them they don't even bother to read it. And all of them have been back online on the site since I sent the messages. Some of my messages are over a month old. So I'm beginning to ask myself why I'm bothering. Am I just wasting my time here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only you can answer that question

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Only you can answer that question "

But lots of others will have a go

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What you need to remember is that loads of women get hundreds and hundreds of messages a day. They don't usually have time to read every single one. It's the long wait as a single bloke on here pal.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

A lot of women view on stealth mode (I just looked at your profile. All being well, you won't be able to tell). So maybe they did look (and didn't like what they saw).

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By *andEmCouple over a year ago

wigan

Your status won't help

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your like a blade of grass in a field on here single guys will never be in demand

Only you can choose the answer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Status update doesn’t help OP

And maybe a nice profile pic!

You get what you put into fab. What sort of messages do you send?

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

On your profile is states that you are not happy if you send a message and don't get a reply.

Fab rules state " no answer not interested".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your profile pic looks like Donald trump on a bike!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

lol...I had changed my status regularly as well as my profile pic. Makes no difference whatsoever.

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By *iscean MaleMan over a year ago

Darlaston

1 key thing to remember fella... no one owes you anything on here.. just because you send a pleasant email, does not mean the receiver has to respond.

Good luck mucka

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"On your profile is states that you are not happy if you send a message and don't get a reply.

Fab rules state " no answer not interested".

Agreed. From a woman's perspective, I can get hundreds of messages a day depending on what I'm doing and my filters. That's way too much admin for something that's supposed to be fun. And when I did try to be conventionally polite and say thanks but no thanks, I'd often get whining/ abuse/ threats/ attempts to negotiate in return. If I had to reply to all my messages, I'd leave.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple over a year ago

leeds

I too looked in stealth mode, your profile pic looks a little odd to be honest think it's the filter you've chosen.

These women timewasters ...are they actually arranging to meet you then not turning up ?

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By *est Wales WifeCouple over a year ago

Near Carmarthen

Perhaps most of them read your profile ( with no real photos etc.) and decided that having read your thoughts on having a social first

'If you want to meet for coffee first then no offence but scroll on by.'

did indeed do just that and scrolled on by.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Read your profile to yourself in full and consider what conclusions people might draw from it and if you think it would entice people in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I do think that not responding is rude but I can live with it...but not to respond and not even to check out my profile is just ridiculous. Especially after a month or more...lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Doms looking for submissives put some off so does being a smoker.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do think that not responding is rude but I can live with it...but not to respond and not even to check out my profile is just ridiculous. Especially after a month or more...lol"

I checked you out does it show on looked at me?

No, because I’m in stealth mode.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

You're wasting your time whinging about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have to admit that I knew nothing about this stealth mode thing.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple over a year ago

leeds

If a question is asked here OP it's best to reply here.

Going by your reply you sent to me ,you consider women who don't read/reply to your unsolicited messages time wasters?

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'll also never meet someone without a social first. Am I judging? Sure. But I'm judging if the person is psycho and wants to hurt me, not anything else. Sorry not sorry for wasting a man's time/ protecting myself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lose the whiney status and last bit of your profile as they will do nothing but out people off even more.

Then just keep trying and be patient. Good luck : )

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If a question is asked here OP it's best to reply here.

Going by your reply you sent to me ,you consider women who don't read/reply to your unsolicited messages time wasters?

Oh dear. That word (phrase) does not mean what he thinks it means.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’ve changed the profile pic-good

Now remove your status update

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By *eorge n DragonCouple over a year ago

Cheshire

[Removed by poster at 20/09/18 11:38:03]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're wasting your time whinging about it."

She has a point. It's a fact of Fab life. Do your self a favour and don't look at your sent messages. That way leads to madness (for a bloke anyway).

I understand your frustrations I really do.

Also, ladies, any of you ever want to stealth view my profile feel free. Used to get annoyed by lack of views, but I'm over it now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not prepared to meet socially first, your putting people off. It's not about being judged. Attraction can't be found in a pic or message only that you might like the person.

Everyone of our meets starts as a social and we will say if we're not feeling the spark and leave it at that.

No it's not about dating but there still has to be attraction to the person your potentially going to sleep with.

And as said, the negativity will put many off. No one has to reply to anyone if they don't want to regardless of how nice a message you send. No reply is a polite no thanks. Don't let it bother you, move on.

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By *lan157Man over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

You are wasting your time. You are unlikely to meet anybody through messaging as a single man on this site.The odds are stacked against you. Find out where the social events are and go to one of them and socialise . Or find a regular girl friend and ask her to go swinging with you as a couple.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your status won't help "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do think that not responding is rude but I can live with it...but not to respond and not even to check out my profile is just ridiculous. Especially after a month or more...lol"

It’s in the forum rules, no reply means not interested. Some women get 100s of messages. I sometimes reply and sometimes don’t, depending on the message. I haven’t got time to spend a chunk of my day saying no thanks. I seem to do that more than anything due to guys not reading my profile and only looking at pics.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

To be Frank, OP, yes with your current profile you're wasting your time.

There's around twenty men to every woman here. So when you send a message, on average you're competing against 19 other men. You are 49 and "curvy", which already puts you up against it. You then have no public pictures and a whiney profile. . There's a snowballs chance in hell that a woman is going to pick you out.

Obviously, there's some things, like your age, you can't do anything about, but the basics are putting up some public pics and making your profile words friendly and approachable. Even then it's going to be a slog, but at least you'd have more than a zero chance.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I do think that not responding is rude but I can live with it...but not to respond and not even to check out my profile is just ridiculous. Especially after a month or more...lol

Yeah, when my filters are less strict, I'd say 80% of my messages, they clearly haven't read my profile. I can lead the horse to water, but I'm certainly not going to reward it for being stupid.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be Frank, OP, yes with your current profile you're wasting your time.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

OP, check out the profiles of successful men, such as those who've verified the women here. Take a chapter out of their books.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Only you can answer that question

But lots of others will have a go"

I'm sure they will haha

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Only you can decide if you're wasting your time or not OP - and I'd take heed of a lot of the very good advice given above if I were you.

Often when people aren't finding the site is meeting their expectations, they make the mistake of looking for something to blame it on (in your case it's people not reading your messages) rather than looking at what they can change themselves to improve their experience of the site - so perhaps you should take that approach.

You've not asked for profile advice so I shan't give any, other than to say I got to the last four paragraphs thinking it was fairly well written and then the last four paragraphs undid that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Only you can decide if you're wasting your time or not OP - and I'd take heed of a lot of the very good advice given above if I were you.

You've not asked for profile advice so I shan't give any, other than to say I got to the last four paragraphs thinking it was fairly well written and then the last four paragraphs undid that. "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've been here 9 weeks !!!

Not asked for profile advice but IMO the bit at the end will not go down well with the majority on here that don't reply to messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Then it seems I am indeed wasting my time. Just because its in the rules that you don't have to reply doesn't make it morally right. If you've got the time to read a message you've got time to reply to it. Respect goes both ways. As I say in my profile, I'm old school. To all those who suggested I change my status and profile pic, I have done that regularly and makes no difference whatsoever. I do also clearly state in my profile that I do have other pics I am willing to send to anyone that is genuinely interested. So to blame my profile pics, or lack of them, means you didn't read my profile lol. It goes both ways. I joined this site because I thought it looked a bit different and a bit more real than most of them. I became a site supporter because I thought that would help prove I am a genuine chap. Anyway no worries. I shall stay here for the duration of my paid membership but no longer than that. Have fun everyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Then it seems I am indeed wasting my time. Just because its in the rules that you don't have to reply doesn't make it morally right. If you've got the time to read a message you've got time to reply to it. Respect goes both ways. As I say in my profile, I'm old school. To all those who suggested I change my status and profile pic, I have done that regularly and makes no difference whatsoever. I do also clearly state in my profile that I do have other pics I am willing to send to anyone that is genuinely interested. So to blame my profile pics, or lack of them, means you didn't read my profile lol. It goes both ways. I joined this site because I thought it looked a bit different and a bit more real than most of them. I became a site supporter because I thought that would help prove I am a genuine chap. Anyway no worries. I shall stay here for the duration of my paid membership but no longer than that. Have fun everyone

I'm afraid that won't help either

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP I’ve taken time to give you advise via a PM you sent me.

Your status still goes on about time wasters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Oh and if the last part of my profile doesn't go down well with people then so be it...the truth often hurts. Not replying is just ignorant regardless of what the 'rules' say. The unwritten rule of talking to people on the net used to be that you treat them as if they were standing in front of you. How sad it is that philosophy seems to have died out.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

I don't understand why its not "morally right" if someone that has no interest in chatting or meeting you needs to reply to your messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP I’ve taken time to give you advise via a PM you sent me.

Your status still goes on about time wasters. "

I messaged you privately so you could see what the messages I send messages are like.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh and if the last part of my profile doesn't go down well with people then so be it...the truth often hurts. Not replying is just ignorant regardless of what the 'rules' say. The unwritten rule of talking to people on the net used to be that you treat them as if they were standing in front of you. How sad it is that philosophy seems to have died out."

It's the rules of the site

I don't actually agree with them but that's how it goes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't understand why its not "morally right" if someone that has no interest in chatting or meeting you needs to reply to your messages.

You don't have to be interested in chatting to someone to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

It doesn't "go both ways". You want to meet women. As I say there are twenty men to every woman. That means you have to provide what women want more than the nineteen other guys. If you think that's unfair, it is indeed pointless you being here.

It's frankly hilarious that you blame the women for not abiding by your profile. Why on earth would they go to the trouble of asking you for pics when there are loads of men who's pics are readily available?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

As you say...I am indeed wasting my time. And its all cool.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't understand why its not "morally right" if someone that has no interest in chatting or meeting you needs to reply to your messages.

You don't have to be interested in chatting to someone to say 'thanks but no thanks'."

Thing is some people are too nice to say no for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

The other side is some women get loads of a abuse when they tell a guy no. I see it as status updates once every few days, a woman give grief just for saying "no thank you."

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Look at it another way - do you read every piece of junk mail you receive, and then reply to it politely telling the pizza restaurant, double glazing company or Nigerian prince that you're not interested thank you?

Same principle applies here.

Add to that that a lot of the women here have responded with no thanks messages to receive a torrent of abuse back for rejecting the person - the same person who was (up until that polite no thank you) telling them they were "gorgeous" and "stunning" and "easily the best looking woman on here", but now becomes a "fat ugly old trout who was only going to be a sympathy shag anyway" - and you start to see why they don't reply if they're not interested.

Then there's the fact that once they have replied to a message it overrides any filters then may later put in place.

Either way, as I said in my last post, if you want to improve your experience of the site then look at what you can change rather than expecting others to change to match your expectations

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think some men have to spend a day in the shoes of a woman on here and then report back.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been a member of this site for maybe a couple of months now.

Am I just wasting my time here?

To respond to your first point, a couple of months is nothing in terms of establishing yourself, starting to get to know people and arranging a meet

To respond to your question, I don't look on my time here as a waste. I sit back, enjoy it, take in the sights, play in the forums and respond to messages worthy of a response

If you make your time here a conquest and, at that, a conquest with a timescale, you are going to find yourself running the site (and its members) down pretty quickly

Make your time here fun, take your foot off the pedal, lower your expectation a little, explore other avenues (socials, clubs etc) and just enjoy it

It is a fun place : If you allow it to be

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP I’ve taken time to give you advise via a PM you sent me.

Your status still goes on about time wasters.

I messaged you privately so you could see what the messages I send messages are like."

And your messages were lovely and I’d reply back because it was a nice message even if it was a no thanks.

Everyone uses Fab differently so some will message back others won’t.

Women also have hundreds of messages a day so going through them can be a job.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Same principle applies here.

Then there's the fact that once they have replied to a message it overrides any filters then may later put in place.

Either way, as I said in my last post, if you want to improve your experience of the site then look at what you can change rather than expecting others to change to match your expectations

I replied politely no to a guy the other day to then have a further 6 messages trying to convince me that I should. I had to block him in the end.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

As you say...I am indeed wasting my time. And its all cool."

With all due respect, I really don't understand this attitude. If you want to use your profile to make points about morality and how unfair things are, fine, but it's going to stop you getting meets.

If you want to get meets, you have to think about what women on here are going to find attractive, write that and leave out the negative stuff.

No one ever in the history of the world found a bloke saying "why wont any of those rude cows talk to me" attractive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't understand why its not "morally right" if someone that has no interest in chatting or meeting you needs to reply to your messages.

You don't have to be interested in chatting to someone to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

Thing is some people are too nice to say no for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

The other side is some women get loads of a abuse when they tell a guy no. I see it as status updates once every few days, a woman give grief just for saying "no thank you.""

This is right! The odd one will hurl abuse back and say it’s your loss!

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Pretty much all your posts and profile show you are clueless in how women experience casual sex and the sites they use to obtain that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

your putting far to much effort in , how dare they not reply lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Same principle applies here.

Then there's the fact that once they have replied to a message it overrides any filters then may later put in place.

Either way, as I said in my last post, if you want to improve your experience of the site then look at what you can change rather than expecting others to change to match your expectations

I replied politely no to a guy the other day to then have a further 6 messages trying to convince me that I should. I had to block him in the end. "

was it me ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Similarly, if people choosing not to respond doesn’t go down well then so be it.

If something as teeny tiny as that causes anyone to get significantly annoyed, irked, frustrated or angry; then this is possibly not the best platform to achieve their aims and objectives.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Same principle applies here.

Then there's the fact that once they have replied to a message it overrides any filters then may later put in place.

Either way, as I said in my last post, if you want to improve your experience of the site then look at what you can change rather than expecting others to change to match your expectations

I replied politely no to a guy the other day to then have a further 6 messages trying to convince me that I should. I had to block him in the end.

was it me ?

No! Ha. He had the cheek to ask if I would verify him after me saying no to meeting him. That’s when I blocked. I’m not just a ticket to getting verified. I feel some on here are only after that.

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By *aling69Man over a year ago

London

Your status will turn most women away!

As kind folk have advised, yes it's difficult for single men on here but you have to appreciate that women receive many contacts from guys on here, that's just the way it is and they do not have to reply, it's their choice.

There are also a lot of fake profiles on here especially when it comes to couples, it seems that the female within the couple is never available. Having said that, there are lots of lovely genuine couples and single folk on here, you just need to find them.

I've been told you might be better off going to clubs to make contacts or/and spend some time on forums so women can get a feel of you and your personality, you might make some friends here.... just saying

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By *aling69Man over a year ago

London

Same principle applies here.

Then there's the fact that once they have replied to a message it overrides any filters then may later put in place.

Either way, as I said in my last post, if you want to improve your experience of the site then look at what you can change rather than expecting others to change to match your expectations

I replied politely no to a guy the other day to then have a further 6 messages trying to convince me that I should. I had to block him in the end.

was it me ?

No! Ha. He had the cheek to ask if I would verify him after me saying no to meeting him. That’s when I blocked. I’m not just a ticket to getting verified. I feel some on here are only after that. "

100% agree, well said

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

And as am aside saying you won't meet for a coffee will be a red flag for most women, purely from a safety point of view.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And as am aside saying you won't meet for a coffee will be a red flag for most women, purely from a safety point of view. "

If he won’t go for a coffee then he certainly won’t go to a club. I would never meet someone to have sex straight away. There is a safety issue and attraction that needs to be in place. I can’t just turn that on straight away. Very few women can.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

As you say...I am indeed wasting my time. And its all cool.

With all due respect, I really don't understand this attitude. If you want to use your profile to make points about morality and how unfair things are, fine, but it's going to stop you getting meets.

If you want to get meets, you have to think about what women on here are going to find attractive, write that and leave out the negative stuff.

No one ever in the history of the world found a bloke saying "why wont any of those rude cows talk to me" attractive. "

Show me where I used the term 'rude cows' Please don't put words in my mouth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Zzzzz...another one who thinks that women who won't meet him are 'timewasters'. Why do folk persist with this site when it clearly isn't for them.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple over a year ago

Planet Ork

"I think some men have to spend a day in the shoes of a woman on here and then report back. "

There’s a few men on here that spend days in women’s shoes!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

As you say...I am indeed wasting my time. And its all cool.

With all due respect, I really don't understand this attitude. If you want to use your profile to make points about morality and how unfair things are, fine, but it's going to stop you getting meets.

If you want to get meets, you have to think about what women on here are going to find attractive, write that and leave out the negative stuff.

No one ever in the history of the world found a bloke saying "why wont any of those rude cows talk to me" attractive.

Show me where I used the term 'rude cows' Please don't put words in my mouth."

I was paraphrasing. You have a lengthy paragraph ranting on about how it is rude and bad manners to not reply to messages. You may well think that, but can you really not see how self sabotaging it is?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think some men have to spend a day in the shoes of a woman on here and then report back.

There’s a few men on here that spend days in women’s shoes!

We need many more. They will understand the pain more!! Ha

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"And as am aside saying you won't meet for a coffee will be a red flag for most women, purely from a safety point of view.

Well Yes, none of us know for definite if we want to have sex with someone until we meet them.

We had a bloke the other week who agreed to meet for a drink and half a hour before said he wouldn't meet unless sex was definitely on the agenda. Fuck off then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't understand why its not "morally right" if someone that has no interest in chatting or meeting you needs to reply to your messages.

You don't have to be interested in chatting to someone to say 'thanks but no thanks'.

Thing is some people are too nice to say no for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

The other side is some women get loads of a abuse when they tell a guy no. I see it as status updates once every few days, a woman give grief just for saying "no thank you."

This is right! The odd one will hurl abuse back and say it’s your loss! "

Exactly. However Kat, I have told you that you'll just have to wait your turn. Stop the abuse woman. I mean I'm just one buy-in

lmao x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And as am aside saying you won't meet for a coffee will be a red flag for most women, purely from a safety point of view.

Well Yes, none of us know for definite if we want to have sex with someone until we meet them.

We had a bloke the other week who agreed to meet for a drink and half a hour before said he wouldn't meet unless sex was definitely on the agenda. Fuck off then.

I’ve known guys like that. I never met them because of that attitude. If you want instant sex then go pay for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Buy in" should say guy. Damn you kindle fire why do you mock me!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"And as am aside saying you won't meet for a coffee will be a red flag for most women, purely from a safety point of view.

Well Yes, none of us know for definite if we want to have sex with someone until we meet them.

We had a bloke the other week who agreed to meet for a drink and half a hour before said he wouldn't meet unless sex was definitely on the agenda. Fuck off then.

I’ve known guys like that. I never met them because of that attitude. If you want instant sex then go pay for it. "

He then later messaged us when we put a meet up. We were rude bastatrds and ignored him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People say every day that men on Fab dont get layed, because there are far too many of them, and not enough women

I disagree. I think it boils down to the fact that alot are completely bloody clueless.

They want to meet on their terms, and when it suits them. Some arent the least bit interested in even meeting for coffee. Or what the lady looks like.

I think this thread is a perfect illustration of that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all.

Haven't read all the replies so no doubt someone else has answered with this but...

Single females and attractive couples can receive hundreds of messages. After a recent webcam session and some new pics being put up, I had a couple of hundred over the weekend and woke up Sunday morning thinking "what the fuck?". Now remember that most of us have jobs, partners, kids, goldfish and other responsibilities. So if it's a choice between wading through 40 cock pics & messages where the initial pic does fuck all for me or feeding my kids, then guess which one comes first?

Lots of men moan that women have the upper hand on here but no one has an advantage unless you give it to them. Make an effort with pics, your profile, forum posts. Make yourself stand out a bit and pique others interest so they think "wait a minute, he looks interesting".

Or just come on here and moan like fuck about not getting any....then you'll blend into the wall paper.

And before anyone posts about me sounding up my arse with the "hundreds of messages" comment, I can assure you I'm not. I see the boat race first thing in the morning without the war paint.

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By *llure sensuelleWoman over a year ago

right here

"Only you can answer that question "

Succinct and to the point! And bang on the money of course

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By *urveLurverMan over a year ago

Skyview

I initially sympathised with the sentiments in the initial post, but after reading through this thread, see that this OP is argumentative and (yes, I am going to say it) entitled. His ability to ignore thoughtful, well-intentioned advice is almost breathtaking so I will not bother adding to it, only to say to be careful not to end up as one of those people we see out and about shouting at traffic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your status won't help "

I thought the same its negative and could come across as someone with little patience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the site is making you abit unhappy about the way people go about their business. then maybe try another site

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How the fuck are you supposed to talk to 200 people standing in front of you all talking at the same time ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Try sending more cock pics and friend requests that should work lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OK so a man that describes him self as curvy

. My pet hate.

The not wanting to meet for a social first. The site encourages woman to for safety.

Your acting very entitled in your writing, like you are doing fabs a favour by even being here.

Plus all your pics are friends only.

Your demanding a reply.

The dom bit - as a submissive I usually avoid guys that put that as they are usually dimdoms

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Having no public pics won't help and your ranty status as others have said...

You're not a short arse and you're able to accommodate that's always a bonus!

I didn't read your profile so can't comment on the content.

Ladies often look at a profile before reading a message so you need to make sure that is on point otherwise your messages are very likely going to be unread/deleted.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

No pics, rude status and basically being rude to people about not replying to your messages at the end of you profile is enough to put me off. Comes across as arrogant and entitled.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yup your wasting your time give up now

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"Hi all.

If you think that just being a member on here and sending out messages is the golden key to meets and sex. Then yes you really are wasting your time on here.

As someone else posted above. You are just one blade of grass in a bloody big field.

As we've posted many times on these type of threads, FAB is just another tool in your box. A useful tool yes but on its own it won't get the job done.

Socials, clubs, actually getting out and meeting people are just as (or even more) useful.

Even spending a bit of time in the chat rooms and getting a few conversations going can help, and could even get you a veri or two.

However the easiest way to draw a total blank on here is to start moaning that nothing is working because people don't reply to scattergun messages.

Also you have only been on here a couple of months. There are guys who have been on here 2 or 3 years and still haven't got their first meet.

Your choices are simple. Patience allied to a bit more effort, or pack it in altogether.

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By *aling69Man over a year ago

London

"People say every day that men on Fab dont get layed, because there are far too many of them, and not enough women

I disagree. I think it boils down to the fact that alot are completely bloody clueless.

They want to meet on their terms, and when it suits them. Some arent the least bit interested in even meeting for coffee. Or what the lady looks like.

I think this thread is a perfect illustration of that"

True and unfortunately that tarnishes all men on here making it really difficult for the genuine guys amongst us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No pics, rude status and basically being rude to people about not replying to your messages at the end of you profile is enough to put me off. Comes across as arrogant and entitled. "

People who try and justify ignorance are not the sort of people I want to meet anyway.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"People say every day that men on Fab dont get layed, because there are far too many of them, and not enough women

I disagree. I think it boils down to the fact that alot are completely bloody clueless.

They want to meet on their terms, and when it suits them. Some arent the least bit interested in even meeting for coffee. Or what the lady looks like.

I think this thread is a perfect illustration of that

True and unfortunately that tarnishes all men on here making it really difficult for the genuine guys amongst us. "

No. They make it difficult for themselves, no one else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Anyway look. I'm done here. Loads and loads of messages from women who tell us they get so many messages they haven't got time to reply to all of them yet find the time to post replies here...lol...hilarious. Don't bother posting any more replies because I won't see them.

Have fun everyone

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Anyway look. I'm done here. Loads and loads of messages from women who tell us they get so many messages they haven't got time to reply to all of them yet find the time to post replies here...lol...hilarious. Don't bother posting any more replies because I won't see them.

Have fun everyone

OK so you've decided it is a waste of time then, good luck outside of fab OP, wishing you well here xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No pics, rude status and basically being rude to people about not replying to your messages at the end of you profile is enough to put me off. Comes across as arrogant and entitled.

People who try and justify ignorance are not the sort of people I want to meet anyway. "

You not wanting to do a social first shows ignorance to women’s needs. You need to listen to what people are saying to you. It’s all good advice from what I’ve read above but you don’t want to listen.

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By *xtrafun4youMan over a year ago

Dunstable

"Hi all.

But you do have to be in it to win it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you would like to admin for one of the single ladies I am sure that would be much appreciated! Or start up a single fem account n see how replying to everyone goes! When I joined I had over 40 messages within the 20 minutes it took me to upload a pic and set my filters. We also get abuse or begging when we do say a polite "no thank you" which is why I assume the, no reply means not interested, rule came about.

I was also wondering if you send a face pic with an opening message? If not then I would never have read your profile as you have no public pics either, and if I have no clue if there is any attraction then what is the point in probably wasting time talking, to then have to tell them you are not intetested? Which would you rather? If you do send a face pic then your profile text would have put an end to that. It makes me think you were expecting Fab to be instashag.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well I've put my foot in it now waiting to see what happens

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"No pics, rude status and basically being rude to people about not replying to your messages at the end of you profile is enough to put me off. Comes across as arrogant and entitled.

People who try and justify ignorance are not the sort of people I want to meet anyway.

What always gets me is these guys where their ego is more important than getting meets.

You're not getting any meets with women and ask why not. Women pretty unanimously tell you why not. You tell these women they are wrong and you are right.

Apart from anything else it makes no logical sense. How can you possibly know better than women themselves why they won't meet you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No pics, rude status and basically being rude to people about not replying to your messages at the end of you profile is enough to put me off. Comes across as arrogant and entitled.

People who try and justify ignorance are not the sort of people I want to meet anyway.

What always gets me is these guys where their ego is more important than getting meets.

You're not getting any meets with women and ask why not. Women pretty unanimously tell you why not. You tell these women they are wrong and you are right.

Apart from anything else it makes no logical sense. How can you possibly know better than women themselves why they won't meet you? "

Yes but like the typical person that starts one of these threads they don't like and won't respond to answers that they get.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"No pics, rude status and basically being rude to people about not replying to your messages at the end of you profile is enough to put me off. Comes across as arrogant and entitled.

People who try and justify ignorance are not the sort of people I want to meet anyway.

What always gets me is these guys where their ego is more important than getting meets.

You're not getting any meets with women and ask why not. Women pretty unanimously tell you why not. You tell these women they are wrong and you are right.

Apart from anything else it makes no logical sense. How can you possibly know better than women themselves why they won't meet you? "

I don't think he likes the answers he is getting on here. Lots of advice and help has been given but nothing has changed.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

And to the OP, can you please start responding to every poster on here when they have posted as I consider that to be rude.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"No pics, rude status and basically being rude to people about not replying to your messages at the end of you profile is enough to put me off. Comes across as arrogant and entitled.

People who try and justify ignorance are not the sort of people I want to meet anyway.

What always gets me is these guys where their ego is more important than getting meets.

You're not getting any meets with women and ask why not. Women pretty unanimously tell you why not. You tell these women they are wrong and you are right.

Apart from anything else it makes no logical sense. How can you possibly know better than women themselves why they won't meet you?

I don't think he likes the answers he is getting on here. Lots of advice and help has been given but nothing has changed. "

Which makes one wonder why he bothered asking for advice in the first. It's obvious to anyone with a brain why he's having no luck.

1. He's middle aged and not in good shape

2. He has no public pics

3. He won't meet for socials

4. He has a long moany rant in his profile.

Even if he sends a nice message, it's extremely likely women will be turned off by at least one of these four.

He can immediately dosomething about. 2-4, the mind boggles as to why he won't

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have fun everyone

Hear that? A thousand female hearts breaking on Fab? No? Me neither.

Off you fuck then. Mind the door doesn't hit your arse on the way out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The thing that stood out to me the most on your profile, that I would have looked at before reading even a lovely message, would be the experienced dom bit, that isn't interested in getting to know you first even by messages or a social or two first. You sound impatient and a bit stand offish and not really willing to share time equally.

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By *andWCoupleCouple over a year ago

Luton

"I too looked in stealth mode, your profile pic looks a little odd to be honest think it's the filter you've chosen.

These women timewasters ...are they actually arranging to meet you then not turning up ? "

Sorry to hijack the thread OP but how do you look in stealth mode?

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By *imandHerNottsCouple over a year ago

North Notts

Yes

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Have fun everyone

There's a difference between contributing on a forum thread which is a discussion, to replying to a message in your inbox.

Just wow.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple over a year ago

leeds

"I too looked in stealth mode, your profile pic looks a little odd to be honest think it's the filter you've chosen.

These women timewasters ...are they actually arranging to meet you then not turning up ?

Sorry to hijack the thread OP but how do you look in stealth mode?"

Go to your account button, then privacy , it's the first option in the list ( hide on looked at me)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People say every day that men on Fab dont get layed, because there are far too many of them, and not enough women

I disagree. I think it boils down to the fact that alot are completely bloody clueless.

They want to meet on their terms, and when it suits them. Some arent the least bit interested in even meeting for coffee. Or what the lady looks like.

I think this thread is a perfect illustration of that"

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"People say every day that men on Fab dont get layed, because there are far too many of them, and not enough women

I disagree. I think it boils down to the fact that alot are completely bloody clueless.

They want to meet on their terms, and when it suits them. Some arent the least bit interested in even meeting for coffee. Or what the lady looks like.

I think this thread is a perfect illustration of that"

Spot on as usual Sappster - a LOT is made on here of the imbalance of numbers between men and women and that is held up as a reason for men not getting meets.

Now there's no denying that there is an imbalance of numbers BUT if you take out the guys that are entitled, have the wrong expectations and approach, and don't make an effort, I actually think there's more of a balance.

Like I said earlier most guys that moan about not getting meets always look to blame anything but themselves for their lack of "success"

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By *tarbeckCouple over a year ago

york

"I do think that not responding is rude but I can live with it...but not to respond and not even to check out my profile is just ridiculous. Especially after a month or more...lol

I checked you out does it show on looked at me?

No, because I’m in stealth mode. "

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"The thing that stood out to me the most on your profile, that I would have looked at before reading even a lovely message, would be the experienced dom bit, that isn't interested in getting to know you first even by messages or a social or two first. You sound impatient and a bit stand offish and not really willing to share time equally.

An experienced dom will take the time to get to know a sub, this includes socials which build up trust before any play takes place. Any experienced dom will know this.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"People say every day that men on Fab dont get layed, because there are far too many of them, and not enough women

I disagree. I think it boils down to the fact that alot are completely bloody clueless.

They want to meet on their terms, and when it suits them. Some arent the least bit interested in even meeting for coffee. Or what the lady looks like.

I think this thread is a perfect illustration of that

Spot on as usual Sappster - a LOT is made on here of the imbalance of numbers between men and women and that is held up as a reason for men not getting meets.

Like I said earlier most guys that moan about not getting meets always look to blame anything but themselves for their lack of "success"

Like I said above blaming others for not wanting to meet you makes no sense at all. Even all the women on here are rude, self centred arse holes as the OP seems to think, the imbalance in numbers means that if you want to fuck them you have to accommodate yourself to that.

No woman ever has thought. "yeah that bloke thinks I am a rude bitch, maybe he's right and I should fuck him"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's the same for me here,I just enjoy the looking at the odd hot pic and have really given up on trying to get a meet it just kills the time some days

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

An experienced dom will take the time to get to know a sub, this includes socials which build up trust before any play takes place. Any experienced dom will know this. "

There is a massive difference between being dominant and being dom. Many fail to know that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well, that was a to do. I see a lot of these posts for advice on profiles. My worry is that these individual's profiles, if this advice is taken, will then leave out the bits that people should, or would want to, know about. i cite my own. Who knew I shouldn't have written about my lifelong battle with flatulence? Still, all fixed now.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"People say every day that men on Fab dont get layed, because there are far too many of them, and not enough women

I disagree. I think it boils down to the fact that alot are completely bloody clueless.

They want to meet on their terms, and when it suits them. Some arent the least bit interested in even meeting for coffee. Or what the lady looks like.

I think this thread is a perfect illustration of that

Spot on as usual Sappster - a LOT is made on here of the imbalance of numbers between men and women and that is held up as a reason for men not getting meets.

Like I said earlier most guys that moan about not getting meets always look to blame anything but themselves for their lack of "success"

No woman ever has thought. "yeah that bloke thinks I am a rude bitch, maybe he's right and I should fuck him" "

One day they'll learn - although hopefully not too soon, if everyone learned that I'd stand no chance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To answer the question you posed, yes you are wasting your time, if you're not prepared to take on board the advice given by women.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To answer the question you posed, yes you are wasting your time, if you're not prepared to take on board the advice given by women. "

He (OP) is a dom he likes to dominate women not take advice from them

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I don't think he likes the answers he is getting on here. Lots of advice and help has been given but nothing has changed. "

He doesn't have to change if he doesn't want as he may not think the advice is gospel( although he did by the looks of it )

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

To the OP. If you want to take the advice it is up to you, but while you are waiting for a meet ( which does happen ) maybe stick around on the forum while you wait.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

PS welcome to the forum

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

PPS as the person is asking where he is going wrong people can try to help by mentioning his profile as explained by the forum rule.

No nit-picking please

Unless someone specifically asks for their profile to be critiqued or if it's relevant to the thread e.g. someone is wondering why they're not having success, please don't critique their profile or be mean about it. We want the forum to be open and friendly to newbies and everyone starts somewhere

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