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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have been together 8 years and finally it looks like it's coming to an end.
The sex is still fantastic but we seem to want different things in the long term.
Any tips to bring it to an end with the least damage to him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont think there is a soft landing your looking for someone always feels hurt by break up whether they keep it inside or openly say what they feel hope it goes well |
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"We have been together 8 years and finally it looks like it's coming to an end.
The sex is still fantastic but we seem to want different things in the long term.
Any tips to bring it to an end with the least damage to him?"
I guess just being honest with him is all you can do, a heart doesn't always break even.
Not an easy one when you have been together so long  good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be kind when u do finish it
My wife left me 6-7 weeks ago after 15 years of being toghther. It's one of the hardest things that has ever happened to me. She just ended it with no worning signs. Then found out she got someone new |
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"Be kind when u do finish it
My wife left me 6-7 weeks ago after 15 years of being toghther. It's one of the hardest things that has ever happened to me. She just ended it with no worning signs. Then found out she got someone new"
Aww sorry to hear that
I walked out of my marriage two years ago now, after 16 years together although I do not regret it, it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, had to completely start over from scratch  I'm in a good place now with someone I met on here funnily enough. It gets better with time I promise..keep smiling xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be kind when u do finish it
My wife left me 6-7 weeks ago after 15 years of being toghther. It's one of the hardest things that has ever happened to me. She just ended it with no worning signs. Then found out she got someone new"
Aww sorry to hear that happened to you but that is good advice for the OP. Even if you both agree there is no future, it's still going to hurt like hell. Deal with it honestly and head on and hope for the best. |
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By *oi93Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
I can only imagine how you feel currently, but I'd suggest just sitting them down and explaining why and how you feel and what's brought you to this point, speaking from my own experience not knowing why and being left wondering why hurts the most, so if you can give that piece of mind it's is comforting and should help make it as smooth as possible, I hope you are doing okay yourself tho. Best of luck to you both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been together 8 years and finally it looks like it's coming to an end.
The sex is still fantastic but we seem to want different things in the long term.
Any tips to bring it to an end with the least damage to him?"
having just gone through this myself, I can say hand on heart, there is no easy way to do it or lesson the impact, one will end up being hurt, the other will feel guilty about the hurt caused.
Be frank, be honest, but most of all be true to yourself.
I really wish you all the best, it isn't going to be easy, but if you have got that point, it's either end it or end up resenting each other.
If you want to talk on me .
Mike |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks guys, we are both on here and we both see the good and the bad reasons for parting ways... Mr Goneunder wants to go back to Northern Ireland and I want to stay here. My brother, sisters and mum are here but he wants to go look after his ma after her op.
I don't think I can trust him away from me for so long!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If that is the case, then however painful a split may be, it does seem that you should be able to part on friendly terms, there is no right or wrong. Try to stay friends, my ex is my business partner, so its even harder, I really do wish you both all the best |
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"Thanks guys, we are both on here and we both see the good and the bad reasons for parting ways... Mr Goneunder wants to go back to Northern Ireland and I want to stay here. My brother, sisters and mum are here but he wants to go look after his ma after her op.
I don't think I can trust him away from me for so long!! "
Work out your trust issues before you ditch a 8 year relationship. Maybe? |
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"Be kind when u do finish it
My wife left me 6-7 weeks ago after 15 years of being toghther. It's one of the hardest things that has ever happened to me. She just ended it with no worning signs. Then found out she got someone new"
Did she know you were on here? If yes, tough break, hope it works out for you, the pain won't last for ever. If not...oh well! |
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Just completely walk away,both move out of the house you've shared,save no keep sakes,cut off all texting, especially Facebook and don't start seeing anyone new for a least 8 months, preferably over a year and use this time in between to do new stuff for you... |
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Not all break ups mean having to cut all ties.
I've known people stay as friends after a break up. It really depends on the reasons and the level of ill feeling.
If it is by mutual agreement then people can carry on being civil and friendly.
Of course if you are in different countries then the distance may make all that irrelevant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve just broke up after twenty years but I still love her very much so I won’t be able to stay friends as it breaks my heart every time I see her now ?? |
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He honest and unambiguous in your reasons for breaking up, don't leave him wondering why. Be clear in your intent not to go back to him them leave him to work through whatever effect it has on him.
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If it’s just because he wants to look after his mum then bring his mum here?
My ex decided she wanted to split after 11 years and two kids nearly two years ago now and were still friendly with each other mainly for the kids. You’ve got to be open and honest with each other. It is going to hurt and that hurt will get worse but it’s worth fighting through it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve just broke up after twenty years but I still love her very much so I won’t be able to stay friends as it breaks my heart every time I see her now ??"
know how this feels
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve just broke up after twenty years but I still love her very much so I won’t be able to stay friends as it breaks my heart every time I see her now ?? know how this feels"
its horrible mate but I’ve got to try to get over it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and my ex of 13/5 years split 4 years ago, and we met at 17 with a similar fashion - wanting different things. The year after that was possibly the most difficult year I’ve had in life. Starting again, being single. After that year, things picked up and my life is by far the best it’s ever been now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As most above have stated, it is what it is and is gonna hurt like hell. Simple matter of the fact is you're not on the same wavelengths in terms of what you want for your future. Better to get it over with, feel the hurt and find someone right. Opposed to living a life time of dissatisfaction or regret always thinking what if and in my opinion that daily feeling would do more damage as it eats away at you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to read this thread as i know this is a very painful time. Friday my 4.5 year relationship finished and i'm truly gutted. I take heart in all the comforting support offered above and hope that, whilst the beautiful memories will last, the hurt will stop along with the heartache. |
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