FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Saftey advice for newbies
Saftey advice for newbies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Off the back of some comments I read in my post "Worst Fab experiences" I'd like to post up some saftey advice for anyone new to Fab.
1. Listen to your gut, if it's starting to feel wrong or you are uncomfortable, get out of there pronto. If you were wrong, but with the right sort of person, they will understand.
2. Inform someone local of where you are going. You dont have to be specific as to why you are going.
3. Inform who you are going to meet that you will have to use you mobile phone at certain moments. That it's purely a saftey precaution. If you fail to check in, they have the address of where you were last. The number plate of any vehicles involved. You don't have to do this, but it's important your "Meet" Believes this to be the case. If they are the right kind of person, they will understand your concerns.
4. Meet in public, somewhere with CCTV preferably. Prior to anything physical taking place.
5. Don't be afraid to ask probing and intimate questions, repeat them in different ways and listen for any inconsistencies. Watch body language.
6. Keep records of all conversations.
7. Put your "location on" On your mobile device.
8. Give yourself time and breathing space. Don't let the other person dictate the terms of the meeting. Especially if you are naturally submissive.
9. Consider learning some basic self defence. There are some relatively easy techniques you can use to immobilize people larger and stronger than yourself. Some places even offer free training to women and other vulnerable people.
10. Be aware of your surroundings.
11. Read verifications, consider contacting them if you're concerned.
12. Leave some of the more vulnerable sexual fantasies like BDSM and S&D to someone you've built some level of trust with, no matter how desperate you are to get going.
13. Start playing with the lights on.. Give their body a good once over with the MK1 eyeball.. look for signs of disease and infection before you begin playing.
14. Consider meeting at a club, rather than someone's home. I've been to Xtasia and can confirm the security and all staff were excellent and quite sharp when it came to security.
I have heard some awful stories, know people who have had some awful things happen to them. It's not purely a Fab thing. Online dating and nightclub meetings have their fair share of horror stories.
You do not have to follow all this advice. Some of it may seem ridiculous and over the top. It's for people who are concerned. Sex should be relaxed and you shouldn't have to worry about these issues. In most cases, you don't, but there are monsters in this world. We all know it, we all know that sites like Fab attract some of them.
Which is why any person worth their salt will give you all the time and space you need, if they want to meet you and are genuine and sincere.
If any experienced swingers or security experts have anything to add, I'd be most grateful if you could put your ideas forward. You may be helping save someone from an awful experience. So no answer is a bad answer. Avoid slagging each other's ideas off if possible please.
Hope some of this is relevant and of some use to anyone worried about their health and saftey.
If anything does go wrong, please report it to Fab or someone on Fab. If it's serious, please report it to the police. It is embarrassing and humiliating, but you may be saving someone else from ever having to go through that with that same person ever again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Top advice for makes and females "
I tried my best to make it gender neutral as I know men have concerns of their own. It's applicable to anyone who is concerned. Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gut Instinct is the stand out one I’ve come to trust.
And me
"
It's about a feeling, if it feels bad, don't meet. If the other person is genuine, they will understand. |
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"- Be cautious when giving out your phone number. If your Social networks aren't locked down securely you can be linked through your phone contacts."
Are you saying during a meet to log out of all social media sites? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"- Be cautious when giving out your phone number. If your Social networks aren't locked down securely you can be linked through your phone contacts.
Are you saying during a meet to log out of all social media sites? "
No.. lol.. I mean.. be aware that if you give your surname or phone number, you can be found in Whatsapp, Facebook or any other number of social media sites that link your phone to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"- Be cautious when giving out your phone number. If your Social networks aren't locked down securely you can be linked through your phone contacts."
This is why i advise others to have a "throw away" phone. It actually a pretty good idea in general to have one not only just for fab related shenanigans! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"- Be cautious when giving out your phone number. If your Social networks aren't locked down securely you can be linked through your phone contacts.
This is why i advise others to have a "throw away" phone. It actually a pretty good idea in general to have one not only just for fab related shenanigans!"
Or use Kik |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Off the back of some comments I read in my post "Worst Fab experiences" I'd like to post up some saftey advice for anyone new to Fab.
1. Listen to your gut, if it's starting to feel wrong or you are uncomfortable, get out of there pronto. If you were wrong, but with the right sort of person, they will understand.
Always early on have a phone call to confirm the true gender!!
2. Inform someone local of where you are going. You dont have to be specific as to why you are going.
3. Inform who you are going to meet that you will have to use you mobile phone at certain moments. That it's purely a saftey precaution. If you fail to check in, they have the address of where you were last. The number plate of any vehicles involved. You don't have to do this, but it's important your "Meet" Believes this to be the case. If they are the right kind of person, they will understand your concerns.
4. Meet in public, somewhere with CCTV preferably. Prior to anything physical taking place.
5. Don't be afraid to ask probing and intimate questions, repeat them in different ways and listen for any inconsistencies. Watch body language.
6. Keep records of all conversations.
7. Put your "location on" On your mobile device.
8. Give yourself time and breathing space. Don't let the other person dictate the terms of the meeting. Especially if you are naturally submissive.
9. Consider learning some basic self defence. There are some relatively easy techniques you can use to immobilize people larger and stronger than yourself. Some places even offer free training to women and other vulnerable people.
10. Be aware of your surroundings.
11. Read verifications, consider contacting them if you're concerned.
12. Leave some of the more vulnerable sexual fantasies like BDSM and S&D to someone you've built some level of trust with, no matter how desperate you are to get going.
13. Start playing with the lights on.. Give their body a good once over with the MK1 eyeball.. look for signs of disease and infection before you begin playing.
14. Consider meeting at a club, rather than someone's home. I've been to Xtasia and can confirm the security and all staff were excellent and quite sharp when it came to security.
I have heard some awful stories, know people who have had some awful things happen to them. It's not purely a Fab thing. Online dating and nightclub meetings have their fair share of horror stories.
You do not have to follow all this advice. Some of it may seem ridiculous and over the top. It's for people who are concerned. Sex should be relaxed and you shouldn't have to worry about these issues. In most cases, you don't, but there are monsters in this world. We all know it, we all know that sites like Fab attract some of them.
Which is why any person worth their salt will give you all the time and space you need, if they want to meet you and are genuine and sincere.
If any experienced swingers or security experts have anything to add, I'd be most grateful if you could put your ideas forward. You may be helping save someone from an awful experience. So no answer is a bad answer. Avoid slagging each other's ideas off if possible please.
Hope some of this is relevant and of some use to anyone worried about their health and saftey.
If anything does go wrong, please report it to Fab or someone on Fab. If it's serious, please report it to the police. It is embarrassing and humiliating, but you may be saving someone else from ever having to go through that with that same person ever again."
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"Thank goodness I’m not meeting people from this site!!why are you here if u don't meet people from here lol"
She doesn't have to meet people from here. Everybody uses the site to meet their needs. If more people understood and respected that then they would have a better fab experience. I don't meet men off here, as I find it easier to find ones that meet my needs off site. Some people only go to socials. It's their choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank goodness I’m not meeting people from this site!!why are you here if u don't meet people from here lol
Not explaining myself to you LOL  "
okie dokie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank goodness I’m not meeting people from this site!!why are you here if u don't meet people from here lol
She doesn't have to meet people from here. Everybody uses the site to meet their needs. If more people understood and respected that then they would have a better fab experience. I don't meet men off here, as I find it easier to find ones that meet my needs off site. Some people only go to socials. It's their choice. "
to meet their needs what needs?
what type social are we talking about cyber ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!  "
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time. |
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"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time."
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button! "
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely? |
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"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?"
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people. "
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people. |
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"Thank goodness I’m not meeting people from this site!!why are you here if u don't meet people from here lol
She doesn't have to meet people from here. Everybody uses the site to meet their needs. If more people understood and respected that then they would have a better fab experience. I don't meet men off here, as I find it easier to find ones that meet my needs off site. Some people only go to socials. It's their choice. to meet their needs what needs?
what type social are we talking about cyber ?"
Everybody is different. Everybody has different needs. Is that hard to work out? Some people meet, some just look at pictures and wank. It's up to them.
As for socials. There are different kinds, big organised ones, even forum based cliques (yes some of the regulars never meet).
Why are you so interested in why one person doesn't meet? It is none of your business and she doesn't have to explain herself to you or anybody.
Back to the OP. Some good infomation there. Lots of it is common sense but it's good that you have highlighted. |
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"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people.
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people."
No I imagine they aren’t and when did I say everyone is out to hurt people? I’ll stay as not meeting people thank you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people.
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people.
No I imagine they aren’t and when did I say everyone is out to hurt people? I’ll stay as not meeting people thank you!"
Good, I don't think you should leave  Maybe just avoid the topic of why you are here. IF it gets on your nerves everytime you're asked to explain yourself. I only asked because I'm curious and nosey  |
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"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people.
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people.
No I imagine they aren’t and when did I say everyone is out to hurt people? I’ll stay as not meeting people thank you!
Good, I don't think you should leave Maybe just avoid the topic of why you are here. IF it gets on your nerves everytime you're asked to explain yourself. I only asked because I'm curious and nosey "
She didnt say she was leaving. She is on here on her terms. Nobody has to explain how they use the site provided it's within site rules. |
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I think threads like this should be a mandatory read for newbies to the site, or at least have a "sticky" post or two with advice like this, too many people join and leave because of bad experiences, not necessarily meeting, but even things like how to use filters etc to cut down on messages etc. One lady joined, and left about 6 hours later as she was absolutely inundated with cock pics, meet requests etc.
She came back after getting great advice, and had a mailbox that was much more manageable.
Same with security advice, some stuff sounds like things we should all be doing, but you'd be surprised as to how many ladies still disappear off on their own for meets with guys without a thought to leaving details and having a backup plan. |
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Consider taking photos of cars, that your phone will backup.
As the op states, meet where there is lots of CCTV - consider waving to cameras when you are with your meet, which let's them know you have stood out.
Enlist the help of neighbours, if you have no one else. Also making fab friends just to improve your safety network is a good thing.
Make your own meet rules and never let them be broken.
If you share an enjoyment of gardening, don't expend a lot of energy digging a deep hole somewhere, under their direction - they want to plant something to remember your meet, let them make the effort.
If they turn up with friends, don't allow them inside.
If they bring drinks, ensure they are opened in your presence and preferably poured by you - they may try to add something. Likewise, try not to leave the room, whatever they suggest that you go to fetch.
Don't be restrained by rope etc, unless you have friends in your building and ideally not on a first meet.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people.
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people.
No I imagine they aren’t and when did I say everyone is out to hurt people? I’ll stay as not meeting people thank you!
Good, I don't think you should leave Maybe just avoid the topic of why you are here. IF it gets on your nerves everytime you're asked to explain yourself. I only asked because I'm curious and nosey
She didnt say she was leaving. She is on here on her terms. Nobody has to explain how they use the site provided it's within site rules. "
Ummm.. if you look at the message history between her and I, on this thread and the other. I'm sure you'll come to the conclusion that I fully support her decision to use Fab however she pleases, providing it hurts nobody else. I actually enjoy listening to others reasons for being here.. celebrate the differences, I dislike intolerance of all forms. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Top advice for makes and females great advice for everyone would love someosomeone to send me a copy for future references"
You can copy and paste it into a Word document if you like?
I'd love to write a book on all this, if anyone is interested in collaborating with me? I'm not a fountain of knowledge by any means, but I do have a perspective and some experience of meeting the types of women and couples I think I'd get on with.. made my own share of mistakes and have some funny/scary stories of my own
I think a book like that would need multiple perspectives to be of any use to anyone other than a single male. I've zero experience of what it's like to meet as a couple for example. I could interview experienced couples, but I think it'd be better with multiple authors that represent every aspect of sexual exploration. |
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"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people.
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people.
No I imagine they aren’t and when did I say everyone is out to hurt people? I’ll stay as not meeting people thank you!
Good, I don't think you should leave Maybe just avoid the topic of why you are here. IF it gets on your nerves everytime you're asked to explain yourself. I only asked because I'm curious and nosey
She didnt say she was leaving. She is on here on her terms. Nobody has to explain how they use the site provided it's within site rules.
Ummm.. if you look at the message history between her and I, on this thread and the other. I'm sure you'll come to the conclusion that I fully support her decision to use Fab however she pleases, providing it hurts nobody else. I actually enjoy listening to others reasons for being here.. celebrate the differences, I dislike intolerance of all forms."
Not sure why I should ‘avoid’ the subject of why I’m on Fab. It was a comment I made because of the nature of the thread comments at the time. You have advised me not to leave, I never said I was leaving, where did that come from? Why are you giving advice I haven’t asked for? I’m certainly not explaining why I’m still here to quench your nosey curiosity....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people.
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people.
No I imagine they aren’t and when did I say everyone is out to hurt people? I’ll stay as not meeting people thank you!
Good, I don't think you should leave Maybe just avoid the topic of why you are here. IF it gets on your nerves everytime you're asked to explain yourself. I only asked because I'm curious and nosey
She didnt say she was leaving. She is on here on her terms. Nobody has to explain how they use the site provided it's within site rules.
Ummm.. if you look at the message history between her and I, on this thread and the other. I'm sure you'll come to the conclusion that I fully support her decision to use Fab however she pleases, providing it hurts nobody else. I actually enjoy listening to others reasons for being here.. celebrate the differences, I dislike intolerance of all forms.
Not sure why I should ‘avoid’ the subject of why I’m on Fab. It was a comment I made because of the nature of the thread comments at the time. You have advised me not to leave, I never said I was leaving, where did that come from? Why are you giving advice I haven’t asked for? I’m certainly not explaining why I’m still here to quench your nosey curiosity....
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Oh dear, I think a LOT has been lost in translation, as is per the norm on forums. I give up. Was only trying to be nice, welcoming and helpful. |
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"Nice one OP.
Some if us figure this out the hard way later. So you're saving a newbie getting caught in a tricky situation.
Well done!
Thanks.. that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. Trouble is.. it'll disappear in the ether in time.
Hopefully disappear soon. I dislike being asked why I’m here in an open thread. Mind you it’s a good reason for filters and block button!
You hope this thread disappears soon? A thread aimed at protecting people from creeps and wierdos?
I'd add, in regard to you disliking having to explain why you don't meet people. If you don't like having to explain yourself, to not bring it up in forums. I've only been back two days and I've seen you mention it on two of my threads, without you having any real need to bring it up. You volunteered the information.
I'd defend your right to be here on whatever grounds you like, but you've got to understand why it raises questions surely?
I brought it up on two of your threads because your threads are connected with safety and I have had bad experiences which I don’t want to share with the forum. Actually I am thankful you took the time to create this thread as it’s very useful but it’s made me glad that I don’t meet people and that’s my perogative, I was merely thinking aloud when I commented that I don’t meet people. At least I have no safety worries like what are mentioned in your other thread if I’m not meeting people.
Sorry it sounded like you wanted the saftey advice to go away, which I found bizarre.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but not everyone is out to hurt people.
No I imagine they aren’t and when did I say everyone is out to hurt people? I’ll stay as not meeting people thank you!
Good, I don't think you should leave Maybe just avoid the topic of why you are here. IF it gets on your nerves everytime you're asked to explain yourself. I only asked because I'm curious and nosey
She didnt say she was leaving. She is on here on her terms. Nobody has to explain how they use the site provided it's within site rules.
Ummm.. if you look at the message history between her and I, on this thread and the other. I'm sure you'll come to the conclusion that I fully support her decision to use Fab however she pleases, providing it hurts nobody else. I actually enjoy listening to others reasons for being here.. celebrate the differences, I dislike intolerance of all forms.
Not sure why I should ‘avoid’ the subject of why I’m on Fab. It was a comment I made because of the nature of the thread comments at the time. You have advised me not to leave, I never said I was leaving, where did that come from? Why are you giving advice I haven’t asked for? I’m certainly not explaining why I’m still here to quench your nosey curiosity....
Oh dear, I think a LOT has been lost in translation, as is per the norm on forums. I give up. Was only trying to be nice, welcoming and helpful. "
Being nice, welcoming and helpful is good OP but nosey isn’t. If I need any advice which I don’t then I will ask for it. Thank you. |
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From a single fem we think this is a top tip.
Have a friend phone at a set time say 15 minutes into the meet and if needed one can then say oh so sorry but got to go home emergency.... or... nothing important lets have fun. But a very handy safety net we think.
B2 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From a single fem we think this is a top tip.
Have a friend phone at a set time say 15 minutes into the meet and if needed one can then say oh so sorry but got to go home emergency.... or... nothing important lets have fun. But a very handy safety net we think.
B2"
I agree, it's the number one tip after gut instinct.
Even if you don't have someone to contact. Provided your meet is under the impression beforehand that you do, it should deter any would-be attacker.
Predators prefer easy prey, they are lazy creatures of habit. Anything like hard work and they'll go look for something easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From a single fem we think this is a top tip.
Have a friend phone at a set time say 15 minutes into the meet and if needed one can then say oh so sorry but got to go home emergency.... or... nothing important lets have fun. But a very handy safety net we think.
B2"
Good idea. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Off the back of some comments I read in my post "Worst Fab experiences" I'd like to post up some saftey advice for anyone new to Fab.
1. Listen to your gut, if it's starting to feel wrong or you are uncomfortable, get out of there pronto. If you were wrong, but with the right sort of person, they will understand.
2. Inform someone local of where you are going. You dont have to be specific as to why you are going.
3. Inform who you are going to meet that you will have to use you mobile phone at certain moments. That it's purely a saftey precaution. If you fail to check in, they have the address of where you were last. The number plate of any vehicles involved. You don't have to do this, but it's important your "Meet" Believes this to be the case. If they are the right kind of person, they will understand your concerns.
4. Meet in public, somewhere with CCTV preferably. Prior to anything physical taking place.
5. Don't be afraid to ask probing and intimate questions, repeat them in different ways and listen for any inconsistencies. Watch body language.
6. Keep records of all conversations.
7. Put your "location on" On your mobile device.
8. Give yourself time and breathing space. Don't let the other person dictate the terms of the meeting. Especially if you are naturally submissive.
9. Consider learning some basic self defence. There are some relatively easy techniques you can use to immobilize people larger and stronger than yourself. Some places even offer free training to women and other vulnerable people.
10. Be aware of your surroundings.
11. Read verifications, consider contacting them if you're concerned.
12. Leave some of the more vulnerable sexual fantasies like BDSM and S&D to someone you've built some level of trust with, no matter how desperate you are to get going.
13. Start playing with the lights on.. Give their body a good once over with the MK1 eyeball.. look for signs of disease and infection before you begin playing.
14. Consider meeting at a club, rather than someone's home. I've been to Xtasia and can confirm the security and all staff were excellent and quite sharp when it came to security.
I have heard some awful stories, know people who have had some awful things happen to them. It's not purely a Fab thing. Online dating and nightclub meetings have their fair share of horror stories.
You do not have to follow all this advice. Some of it may seem ridiculous and over the top. It's for people who are concerned. Sex should be relaxed and you shouldn't have to worry about these issues. In most cases, you don't, but there are monsters in this world. We all know it, we all know that sites like Fab attract some of them.
Which is why any person worth their salt will give you all the time and space you need, if they want to meet you and are genuine and sincere.
If any experienced swingers or security experts have anything to add, I'd be most grateful if you could put your ideas forward. You may be helping save someone from an awful experience. So no answer is a bad answer. Avoid slagging each other's ideas off if possible please.
Hope some of this is relevant and of some use to anyone worried about their health and saftey.
If anything does go wrong, please report it to Fab or someone on Fab. If it's serious, please report it to the police. It is embarrassing and humiliating, but you may be saving someone else from ever having to go through that with that same person ever again."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also, with your location switch on your phone, take a bathroom selfie or any other kind of picture during the social and upload it to social media. The geotag coordinates will be in the picture. So if anything did go majorly wrong, you would be able find your exact location from the geotag info. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good advise.
I would mention though getting a cheap phone from Asda or somewhere though to just use for swinging.
Oh and for your safety, frequently send us pictures throughout the meet so we can see everything is ok   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never accept a drink or food from
My meet. I get there early if a social, and get myself a drink before they arrive. A friend was drugged and sexually attacked a couple of years ago whilst unconscious. Horrific. Not worth the risk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It often amazes me how some men put themselves at risk with meets, they seem all too willing to just turn up on someone’s doorstep.
Personally I’m over cautious but I won’t compromise on my safety, I always meet in a public place and travel under my own steam.
If guys don’t like my safety rules then they don’t get to meet me, simples! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Also, with your location switch on your phone, take a bathroom selfie or any other kind of picture during the social and upload it to social media. The geotag coordinates will be in the picture. So if anything did go majorly wrong, you would be able find your exact location from the geotag info."
Good technical information i didnt know there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never accept a drink or food from
My meet. I get there early if a social, and get myself a drink before they arrive. A friend was drugged and sexually attacked a couple of years ago whilst unconscious. Horrific. Not worth the risk "
So sad that it deserves a mention.. but very wise advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great post OP
and some great advice given on this thread I think it would be good for admin to create an advice section based on this (if there isn’t one already) |
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