Please excuse this rather long posting, it isn’t quite the normal ‘I am wonderful so why won’t anyone talk to me’ post, but it isn’t too far from that. I’ve been on the site for over six months but my supporter status is abut to end and I am wondering whether to renew it and am seeking a little advice.
I’m more than aware that at best I won’t be the ‘cup of tea’ for 99.9% of people here and I am going to be a very acquired taste, and I am definitely not expecting a queue of contacts. Most of my life I have identified as a gay man, but in the past couple of years I have become interested in exploring my bi-sexual side. I am 54, so I have a few miles on the clock. In the past six months I’ve been a member I’ve chatted to very few couples, and never actually met face-to-face with a couple. At this point I might be prepared to admit that at my age and with my looks things will never happen. Except, that I do get a LOT of men contacting me, particularly married men who want some fun secretly away from their wives, but that is not the reason I am here at all.
I wonder how far that this is just the dynamics of the site; there seem to be a lot of men about but not many couples or women. But I also wonder how far it just reflects the fact that essentially I know how to ‘chat up’ and appeal to men but not women or couples. And that is really why I am posting this, before I make a decision on whether to renew my supporter pass or not.
My first question I suppose is how far I should be very forthright about my sexual experiences and whether that ‘disclosure’ would help. I have very little (i.e none) experience swinging, but I do have more than a little experience (i.e. a lot) in bondage and S&M. But I don’t want to make myself sound like either some naïve teenager or on the other hand some dirty old pervert, although unfortunately I am much closer to the latter than the first.
Second, I don’t want to put XXX pictures on my public profile if I also have pictures of my face. My presumption always is that people know what a dick looks like, so I don’t show naked pictures publicly. (They are in a private gallery.) Should I swap them around and show naked pictures and not my face? This might also make me feel more comfortable about disclosing more about what I want and what I can offer.
Third I am very reluctant to approach people directly and I suspect this is a big problem. I have directly contacted nine or ten people, making sure that I meet all their requirements—no ‘no single men’ etc.—but I have only chatted to one of those contacts, and I have had a couple of quite abusive, almost aggressive, responses. (I am not sure if it was my sexuality or my age which was the problem—but it you are broadly within my age range, and say you like 18-99 don’t complain! And why say you are happy to meet 99 years olds when you won’t meet anyone over 30, unless you are expecting someone with an amazing plastic surgeon!) Does anyone have suggestions about the best way to contact people. I am sure given the number of men who cold contact me, that this is a large part of the problem and that interesting couples are not going to go out of their way to look for some cranky old geezer. I can’t sit back and wait for people to contact me, but on the other hand I am not really up for getting torrents of abuse. Any suggestions for how to do this?
Fourth any general suggestions for how I break the ice would be welcome. I do use the chat rooms with webcam, but only ever get contacted by men! I’d be happy to go to some public meets but I wouldn’t know where to start, or how to find what would be a good place for a complete noob. I am also in Scotland so there isn’t exactly that much on the doorstep.
I am sorry this is such a long post, and thank you for reading all the way through it, if you have got this far! It may just be that I should cut my losses and stop flogging a dead horse, but if there is anything I can do I wouldn’t mind trying it. And I am just flabbergasted at the number of ‘straight’ and married men who contact me.
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