FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Not having much luck
Not having much luck
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all,
I’ve actually had an active profile on this site for quite some time but, despite forum posts, friendly messages etc I’ve had only a couple of extended conversations with people and nothing more.
I appreciate this is likely, at least in part if not entirely, down to fact that I’m (a) male and (b) seeking extra-marital companionship/experiences. I’m at least not trying to hide that fact.
Having said that, I’d be interested to get some feedback on my profile and perhaps spark up some new conversations.
Have a good day everyone.
Starlite |
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"Hi all,
I’ve actually had an active profile on this site for quite some time but, despite forum posts, friendly messages etc I’ve had only a couple of extended conversations with people and nothing more.
I appreciate this is likely, at least in part if not entirely, down to fact that I’m (a) male and (b) seeking extra-marital companionship/experiences. I’m at least not trying to hide that fact.
Having said that, I’d be interested to get some feedback on my profile and perhaps spark up some new conversations.
Have a good day everyone.
Starlite"
Great photos and good text but you won't be able to get away from the fact you're married (well done for being honest) but also, you can only do weekday meets which discounts many people who are at work.
Some people get off on the thought of 'sneaking around' - others will be turned off by it. It is what it is though - with so much competition and a limited market, you're bound to be struggling to get meets. You'll just have to continue with the waiting game. |
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Hello OP.
Your profile is well written, honest and informative. It's also nice to see that you've used your imagination to get some nice outdoor photo's.
Sorry to say but I don't think it's your profile that is putting people off. It's your circumstances.
You've been up front about it, and that will stand in your favour with some people. However, there can be no doubt that the number of people that meet what your looking for, are prepared to play with you knowing your married, and available within the daytime is considerably smaller than the people that fall into the opposite camp.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you. I’m very pleased to hear that my profile isn’t the problem. Circumstances, I can’t change, so there’s little point in me worrying about them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m having a bit of trouble grabbing women’s attention on here too. I don’t know what it could be? I’m open to feedback. "
Perhaps start your own thread? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi I think your profile is honest personally it doesn't bother me if some one is married that's their problem not mine and adds to the no strings appeal good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you take a look through some other male profiles you’ll see even the best looking, toned, tattooed, single, hung men only have 1 or 2 verifications. They’re not getting even getting handfuls of meets. I think it’s a case of the higher male occupants on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What, even TATTOOED men left on the sidelines!? Is there no justice in this world? 
Hehe. Seriously though, I'm sure you're right. I understand the argument that single men looking for no-strings fun is not necessarily in the true spirit of "swinging". Shame we can't all be lucky enough to have like-minded partners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s like any other site where boys meet girls.. 
Your circumstances won’t help but I would say the biggest problem is the amount of men on these sites compared to women! Women ignore more attention on than us humble guys get, we bombard them with messages filled with compliments and we can have exactly what they say they are looking for on their profiles but the top and bottom of it is that attractive single women that actually want to get out there and meet on these sites are like gold dust.. and the ones that are here have so many options you almost have more chance of winning the lotto |
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You have one go at grabbing someone's attention so make it count.
Personalise your message to suit them, read and read again their profile and think what you arrive going to write.
Be funny, remember the first line of your message can be read without opening it so that line has gotta make them want to read on.
Your message title also needs to be unique, say something totally random or based upon their profile .. and once you have a message layout that works, use it again and again, each time you will improve it just a little more.
I get a response from around 1 in 5 messages I send which I feel is pretty good on here, I have found what works for me, it's down to you now.
Oh, and don't forget a photo of your face, not your cock. |
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"Thank you. I’m very pleased to hear that my profile isn’t the problem. Circumstances, I can’t change, so there’s little point in me worrying about them. "
It's a great profile but your circumstances will limit your results |
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As others say your audience is limited by your situation. I don’t know if you’ve changed your profile in the last 36 hours but I wonder if your opening few para’s help or hinder you.
Personally I’d move the third and penultimate para’s to be your first two then follow from there.
I am in a similar situation and bisexual. My point is that I found more success by going to clubs, meeting Fabbers there, getting a well written verification or two and doing that for a couple of months at different clubs.
Meets started to happen and the rest, for me anyway, flowed from that.
The key is being a good listener, responsive, flirtatious and the soul of discretion in equal measures. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been on here for a while now messaged a few ladies and get no where. I’m single can accom just no luck what so ever. Just want some friends with benefits if that’s even possible now days |
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"I have been on here for a while now messaged a few ladies and get no where. I’m single can accom just no luck what so ever. Just want some friends with benefits if that’s even possible now days"
Lose the cock pics for a start. Maybe try a different angle for your headshot, say hold phone above your head and look up into it. Discreet is the spelling you’re after. |
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"I haven’t had any lucky either. Despite being photo verified and having some pics, just something doesn’t seem to be clicking  "
Add some public photos. Don’t ask women or couples to contact you. Say what you want in your profile blurb. Avoid txt spk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Right I have changed everything u said although not sure what I put on profile bit is alright. If anyone can help fill that bit in would be great. As never really know what to put. Will add new photos later |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I wonder if your opening few para’s help or hinder you. Personally I’d move the third and penultimate para’s to be your first two then follow from there. "
Hmm... I see what you mean but, whilst I know that my relationship status will discourage many people, I'd still rather be upfront about it.
Dropping it In later in my profile might get me a few more contacts (those who don't read the full profile) but, ultimately, we'd be wasting each others' time.
Given the positive feedback I've had on this thread, I'm inclined to leave everything unchanged. It's honest, polite, non-explicit and, I believe, a reasonable reflection of myself.
I think it's just that being in a relationship limits my audience. That's fair enough, and I can't do anything about it other than being dishonest/misleading, which isn't an option for me.
@Baldrick - I hope hijacking this thread has provided you with some helpful advice regarding your own profile  Best of luck to you.
I would close the thread now, but I don't see the option? |
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"Hi all,
I’ve actually had an active profile on this site for quite some time but, despite forum posts, friendly messages etc I’ve had only a couple of extended conversations with people and nothing more.
I appreciate this is likely, at least in part if not entirely, down to fact that I’m (a) male and (b) seeking extra-marital companionship/experiences. I’m at least not trying to hide that fact.
Having said that, I’d be interested to get some feedback on my profile and perhaps spark up some new conversations.
Have a good day everyone.
Starlite"
Might be a idea to change ur profile from straight to bi as ur looking for tv’s and cross dresser!! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Hi all,
I’ve actually had an active profile on this site for quite some time but, despite forum posts, friendly messages etc I’ve had only a couple of extended conversations with people and nothing more.
I appreciate this is likely, at least in part if not entirely, down to fact that I’m (a) male and (b) seeking extra-marital companionship/experiences. I’m at least not trying to hide that fact.
Having said that, I’d be interested to get some feedback on my profile and perhaps spark up some new conversations.
Have a good day everyone.
Starlite
Might be a idea to change ur profile from straight to bi as ur looking for tv’s and cross dresser!! "
yes this as it's a bit confusing x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Re: Straight vs. Bi
I have given this a great deal of though, and it comes down to this: I am not attracted to "people" that outwardly look or act male. I have never once looked at a "masculine" guy and been sexually attracted to him, and the thought of physical contact with someone who acts/looks like a man turns me off, rather than on.
"Ah" you say "but CDs are men!" - well, in certain physical respects that's undoubtedly true! But, if (and only if) they appear very feminine in their appearance and personality, then I do sometimes myself attracted to them as women - regardless of what's in their knickers. So it feels like a heterosexual, rather than homosexual, attraction to me. I hope that makes sense?
If I were to identify as "bi" on my profile, I think people would certainly get the wrong idea. They would naturally assume that I'm sexually attracted to both women and men. That would likely lead to unwanted atention: I would not enjoy being on the receive the end of photos of "regular" looking men or, God forbid, their genitals.
If anything, I have considered saying that I'm only interested in transsexuals i.e. (if I understand the terminology correctly) those who fully identify as female regardless of their physical form, rather than CDs/TVS who may still consider themselves to be male, but simply wearing women's clothes for kicks. However, I know there are some convincing (sorry to use that word) CDs/TVs who act and appear feminine and whom I might be attracted to "as girls" - so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I hope that helps to explain my choice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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@Realdeal, MsGivesWood, Femaletag
I really didn't want to have to say this, and I've tried instead to give a rational explanation (above), but....
Sexual orientation is a deeply personal thing, and I very much doubt that anyone chooses how to identify themselves on a whim. Anyone for whom puberty is a (thankfully) distant memory has probably had plenty of life experiences and given their sexuality a great deal of consideration. As such, it can come across as quite patronising/offensive when a stranger "suggests" that you don't know (or are perhaps concealing) your true sexuality.
I'm sure that your comments are made in a spirit of helpful advice, and I thank you for taking the time to read this thread and, presumably, my profile. That said, I would urge you to give some consideration to people's own feelings/decisions before making a suggestion like "are you sure you're straight?"
I mean, give me some credit as a mature human being?
[Grump over - have a great weekend!] |
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