FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Staying positive
Staying positive
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone, like a lot of guys on here, and I mean a lot, I'm struggling to get messages from women. However, I'm staying positive and just wanted to say that there are also a lot, and I mean a lot, of beautiful, sexy people out there. Keepijg my fingers crossed and trying to grow a set to get myself to a club. Peace and love CBoss x |
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OP. I'd lose the negativity of being rejected for the bad boys. And maybe cut out the spiel about neglecting you're own pleasure. It rings a bit false. If you are into something sub, I'd call it straight out.
That said, you have a style. That's kinda cool. It may not float all boats but you're gonna stand out a more than others. And when someone does like your prose, you'll be two steps further on than most.
Good luck cowboy |
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"I send a lot of nice polite, complimentary messages and not bingo (so far) for me..."
Have a gander at the OPs profile. Messages are just part of the whole package you need to be on point with. Not the silver bullet. |
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By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
This "issue" seems to be a rather popular one for starting threads about. It's not really an issue in a general sense as it is maybe about the approach you are taking. Always the advice is to get involved in the community, let people get to know you and see What you are about. Alas, most who receive that advice, don't tend to follow it.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone, like a lot of guys on here, and I mean a lot, I'm struggling to get messages from women. However, I'm staying positive and just wanted to say that there are also a lot, and I mean a lot, of beautiful, sexy people out there. Keepijg my fingers crossed and trying to grow a set to get myself to a club. Peace and love CBoss x"
Good luck mate....fellow newbie here. Only been on a few weeks and it's hard work don't let anyone kid you into thinking differently. Stay positive and hopefully you'll get a reply or 2 (I've had a couple but distance was the issue). Oh and try and read the profiles....if someone states BBC only then they ain't for turning!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone, like a lot of guys on here, and I mean a lot, I'm struggling to get messages from women. However, I'm staying positive and just wanted to say that there are also a lot, and I mean a lot, of beautiful, sexy people out there. Keepijg my fingers crossed and trying to grow a set to get myself to a club. Peace and love CBoss x
Hi mate as another newbie I go to a club and have a chat and a drink. You will meet some fantastic people in clubs
Good luck mate....fellow newbie here. Only been on a few weeks and it's hard work don't let anyone kid you into thinking differently. Stay positive and hopefully you'll get a reply or 2 (I've had a couple but distance was the issue). Oh and try and read the profiles....if someone states BBC only then they ain't for turning! "
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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Basically there's too many blokes not enough women, and no matter how good your profile is, nothing's going to change that..."
That is an over trawled excuse for those that just don't get what this site/lifestyle, for most is about. Of the 100's of messages we get 99% wreak of CBA and didn't read the profile. Of the remaining 1% there has to be an attraction.
What we do (and most others from our experience) is:-
We read their profile to see:-
a) if they are what we are looking for.
b) if there is anything that makes them stand out.
If not the message or the pics (if contained) are going to have to be pretty special.
Why?
Before ignoring and deleting the message our assumption is that the same/similar message was sent to every profile within a 50 mile radius at least, this implies the "any port in a storm mentality" unless something within tells us differently. This mentality is not what this lifestyle is about for us at least, again those we've spoken to seem to agree also.
So to the above, if men outnumber women by 100-1 here, for those that get it the odds are good because the other 99 tell themselves the same/similar rubbish to what you wrote to justify the scattergun approach.
So to the OP, follow the other advice here, your profile does stand out from the crowd, if the advice is followed and you put as much thought into your messages eventually you should reach someone who's interest you'll peak.
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"Basically there's too many blokes not enough women, and no matter how good your profile is, nothing's going to change that...
That is an over trawled excuse for those that just don't get what this site/lifestyle, for most is about. Of the 100's of messages we get 99% wreak of CBA and didn't read the profile. Of the remaining 1% there has to be an attraction.
What we do (and most others from our experience) is:-
We read their profile to see:-
a) if they are what we are looking for.
b) if there is anything that makes them stand out.
If not the message or the pics (if contained) are going to have to be pretty special.
Why?
Before ignoring and deleting the message our assumption is that the same/similar message was sent to every profile within a 50 mile radius at least, this implies the "any port in a storm mentality" unless something within tells us differently. This mentality is not what this lifestyle is about for us at least, again those we've spoken to seem to agree also.
So to the above, if men outnumber women by 100-1 here, for those that get it the odds are good because the other 99 tell themselves the same/similar rubbish to what you wrote to justify the scattergun approach.
So to the OP, follow the other advice here, your profile does stand out from the crowd, if the advice is followed and you put as much thought into your messages eventually you should reach someone who's interest you'll peak.
"
This
I always say if you can't stand out in a sea of mediocrity then you're nothing special |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So people know what you're like if you read a profile, you never truly know what someone's like unless you meet them, but of course many people are never given the chance to meet because they don't look right, don't write a good profile etc. Basically women can be extremely picky not just on this site but on just about all internet dating / sex sites because there's far more men available than women. And I don't send the same message to every profile either, I always tailor it to the person I'm sending to. Oh and don't forget we're all human and don't deserve to be treated like something nasty you've found on the bottom of your shoe. This, of course applies to all dating / sex sites. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So people know what you're like if you read a profile, you never truly know what someone's like unless you meet them, but of course many people are never given the chance to meet because they don't look right, don't write a good profile etc. Basically women can be extremely picky not just on this site but on just about all internet dating / sex sites because there's far more men available than women. And I don't send the same message to every profile either, I always tailor it to the person I'm sending to. Oh and don't forget we're all human and don't deserve to be treated like something nasty you've found on the bottom of your shoe. This, of course applies to all dating / sex sites."
If they are abusive report them.
People usually need some sort of attraction even in person. Everyone can be picky. Doesn't matter if there's 20 million men offering to fuck me - if I don't fancy any of them I won't be fucking them. |
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"So people know what you're like if you read a profile, you never truly know what someone's like unless you meet them, but of course many people are never given the chance to meet because they don't look right, don't write a good profile etc. Basically women can be extremely picky not just on this site but on just about all internet dating / sex sites because there's far more men available than women. And I don't send the same message to every profile either, I always tailor it to the person I'm sending to. Oh and don't forget we're all human and don't deserve to be treated like something nasty you've found on the bottom of your shoe. This, of course applies to all dating / sex sites."
Think of this as a job interview. If you send a half arsed cv you would never get an interview even if you have the skills. That's not someone's fault for not talking a punt. And no matter how great you think your cv is, if it's not matched to what someone is looking for you won't get an interview. But you don't really know what the job involves. You just have an idea. Best you can do is send a great cv. Scrub up well if you do get a chance. And keep on plugging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone, like a lot of guys on here, and I mean a lot, I'm struggling to get messages from women. However, I'm staying positive and just wanted to say that there are also a lot, and I mean a lot, of beautiful, sexy people out there. Keepijg my fingers crossed and trying to grow a set to get myself to a club. Peace and love CBoss x"
bloody hell your profile sounds boring as shit liven it up have a laugh with it if your profiles boring chances are you are too, do you want boring in bed? No nether does a woman, a lot will respond for a well written profile with just the right amount of humour unless they are just looking for a well hung cock that I can't help you with ha no good being not true to yourself though if you're mr boring you will get found out at a coffee meet beforehand so just be true to yourself so you don't waste everyone's time, no doubt miss boring will come along eventually if that's you ha, if not spice up your bloody profile lol |
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By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Hi everyone, like a lot of guys on here, and I mean a lot, I'm struggling to get messages from women. However, I'm staying positive and just wanted to say that there are also a lot, and I mean a lot, of beautiful, sexy people out there. Keepijg my fingers crossed and trying to grow a set to get myself to a club. Peace and love CBoss x bloody hell your profile sounds boring as shit liven it up have a laugh with it if your profiles boring chances are you are too, do you want boring in bed? No nether does a woman, a lot will respond for a well written profile with just the right amount of humour unless they are just looking for a well hung cock that I can't help you with ha no good being not true to yourself though if you're mr boring you will get found out at a coffee meet beforehand so just be true to yourself so you don't waste everyone's time, no doubt miss boring will come along eventually if that's you ha, if not spice up your bloody profile lol "
A laugh out loud moment. Man you need to be the resident profile reviewer. I demand you read mine and exact your honest options upon me....in fact...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have to send messages yourself dear and if it's nice and polite then BINGO "
Trust me this doesn't have a great success rate, I'm very polite in my messages and generally best response is a polite no thanks... it's hard staying positive all the time, I find some good music helps lift your mood and then your confidence and positivity follow! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically there's too many blokes not enough women, and no matter how good your profile is, nothing's going to change that...
That is an over trawled excuse for those that just don't get what this site/lifestyle, for most is about. Of the 100's of messages we get 99% wreak of CBA and didn't read the profile. Of the remaining 1% there has to be an attraction.
What we do (and most others from our experience) is:-
We read their profile to see:-
a) if they are what we are looking for.
b) if there is anything that makes them stand out.
If not the message or the pics (if contained) are going to have to be pretty special.
Why?
Before ignoring and deleting the message our assumption is that the same/similar message was sent to every profile within a 50 mile radius at least, this implies the "any port in a storm mentality" unless something within tells us differently. This mentality is not what this lifestyle is about for us at least, again those we've spoken to seem to agree also.
So to the above, if men outnumber women by 100-1 here, for those that get it the odds are good because the other 99 tell themselves the same/similar rubbish to what you wrote to justify the scattergun approach.
So to the OP, follow the other advice here, your profile does stand out from the crowd, if the advice is followed and you put as much thought into your messages eventually you should reach someone who's interest you'll peak.
"
*pique
Sorry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mind you if you were bi then you would find things alot easier lol.
One tip though...never let it get to you. You will send many many messages to women and they hardly ever respond. But the after 100 failed messages you might get one back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Currently women have the power of choice and they decide who and when they sleep with. However the tide is slowly turning. Men are waking up to this and in time women will be begging us to come back. It might take another 40 odd years but it is happening. More and more men are either saying no or turning gay etc etc. I for one am one of those guys. I simply don't bother playing the game anymore. I tend to go for guys or couples both of which are way more fun than a single woman.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Currently women have the power of choice and they decide who and when they sleep with. However the tide is slowly turning. Men are waking up to this and in time women will be begging us to come back. It might take another 40 odd years but it is happening. More and more men are either saying no or turning gay etc etc. I for one am one of those guys. I simply don't bother playing the game anymore. I tend to go for guys or couples both of which are way more fun than a single woman.
"
That's hilarious |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone, like a lot of guys on here, and I mean a lot, I'm struggling to get messages from women. However, I'm staying positive and just wanted to say that there are also a lot, and I mean a lot, of beautiful, sexy people out there. Keepijg my fingers crossed and trying to grow a set to get myself to a club. Peace and love CBoss x bloody hell your profile sounds boring as shit liven it up have a laugh with it if your profiles boring chances are you are too, do you want boring in bed? No nether does a woman, a lot will respond for a well written profile with just the right amount of humour unless they are just looking for a well hung cock that I can't help you with ha no good being not true to yourself though if you're mr boring you will get found out at a coffee meet beforehand so just be true to yourself so you don't waste everyone's time, no doubt miss boring will come along eventually if that's you ha, if not spice up your bloody profile lol "
Too bad I can't look at your profile to sample your good whit and charm |
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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Basically there's too many blokes not enough women, and no matter how good your profile is, nothing's going to change that...
That is an over trawled excuse for those that just don't get what this site/lifestyle, for most is about. Of the 100's of messages we get 99% wreak of CBA and didn't read the profile. Of the remaining 1% there has to be an attraction.
What we do (and most others from our experience) is:-
We read their profile to see:-
a) if they are what we are looking for.
b) if there is anything that makes them stand out.
If not the message or the pics (if contained) are going to have to be pretty special.
Why?
Before ignoring and deleting the message our assumption is that the same/similar message was sent to every profile within a 50 mile radius at least, this implies the "any port in a storm mentality" unless something within tells us differently. This mentality is not what this lifestyle is about for us at least, again those we've spoken to seem to agree also.
So to the above, if men outnumber women by 100-1 here, for those that get it the odds are good because the other 99 tell themselves the same/similar rubbish to what you wrote to justify the scattergun approach.
So to the OP, follow the other advice here, your profile does stand out from the crowd, if the advice is followed and you put as much thought into your messages eventually you should reach someone who's interest you'll peak.
*pique
Sorry "
No apology needed, if that's the only mistake we'll take it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Agree with the above (not that it's working for me, haha....)
Just keep swimming upstream and don't take any personally. Even if it is frustrating as **** sometimes! |
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