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where am i going wrong?
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I message women are constantly no one replys, im not overtly crude or disrespectful, i Just would like some tips/hints on what i might be doing wrong. i have always been a people person but that is face to face , online i just seem to disappear  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to say but there are hundreds, if not thousands of profiles like yours on here. It just doesn't stand out or give people a reason to be interested. |
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i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
your post here is the same length as your shop window to the world.... so why should someone say "oh my god i have to meet that person" over any of the other thousands of countless profiles out there.....
let me ask you a question, just to raise and prove a point...
if i was a person reading your profile (your shop window to the world)... how would I know that I was the right person for you???
the answer is... you wouldn't! you don't mention the type of person you are after at all!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it "
But presumably its the only face you have so not much you can do about that! |
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_abio thank you for an honest and insightful input, you have given me already a very good view on what directon to go, i was weary of posting on here as i seen some people being trolled , you are a good man |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It must be hard for genuine guys on here - sadly there are a few that put ladies on heightened alert, but then most are and should be anyway.
I would say, like the others, stand out. What makes you unique - you are and have no problem exuding this face to face by the sounds of it.
Make sure you read profiles - the few male messages I replied to picked up on subtle things in my profile and really grabbed my attention - they intrigued me. Intrigue a woman, leave her wanting to know more. Make her chuckle, not cheesy, sophisticated and repsectful whit wins me.
Not sure what else. Help them to decipher if you're genuine, not some pervo or false fascade of a man who is not honest about their situation and desires.
Hope that helps. And good luck!  |
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"I message women are constantly no one replys, im not overtly crude or disrespectful, i Just would like some tips/hints on what i might be doing wrong. i have always been a people person but that is face to face , online i just seem to disappear "
maybe as you are attached! |
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of course it helps , any information and tips are always welcome, i think my problem might be ignorance on my part then , assuming people will know im genuine, assuming i will get a chance to enthrall someone in conversation before I've even broke the ice , Im not new to the scene by any means but i am sad to say very knew to trying to advertise myself via the Internet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd listen to the above advice - add public pics, no cock pics though. Look to meet others through socials, parties, clubs etc, have a detailed profile that helps identify what you're looking for, and stay positive. You're verified so you must have made some progress previously? Good luck |
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yes i did make some head way but i hit a wall , the meet was very hard to come by for me , i was stood up a few times also, left me feeling rather stupid ( not for the first or last time in my life ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It must be hard for genuine guys on here - sadly there are a few that put ladies on heightened alert, but then most are and should be anyway.
I would say, like the others, stand out. What makes you unique - you are and have no problem exuding this face to face by the sounds of it.
Meant to say. Often women aren't being rude if they don't reply. I had so many it was impossible to reply to all the polite and genuine appearing messages, though I would have liked to.
Make sure you read profiles - the few male messages I replied to picked up on subtle things in my profile and really grabbed my attention - they intrigued me. Intrigue a woman, leave her wanting to know more. Make her chuckle, not cheesy, sophisticated and repsectful whit wins me.
Not sure what else. Help them to decipher if you're genuine, not some pervo or false fascade of a man who is not honest about their situation and desires.
Hope that helps. And good luck! "
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"i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it "
It's not for me to judge the attractiveness or otherwise of your face but, if you really did think it was your face that was causing the problem would it not be an even bigger problem when they actually met you? How would that work? |
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"It's not for me to judge the attractiveness or otherwise of your face but, if you really did think it was your face that was causing the problem would it not be an even bigger problem when they actually met you? How would that work?"
I'm not sure I agree with that, I firmly believe that an attractive personality trumps a pretty face any day of the week. I also think that everyone experiences this even if they don't realise it. It is much harder to engage your personality if you've already been dismissed for not being attractive enough.
Cal |
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i firmly agree with you cal ,too often i feel people have preemptively dismissed me before taking even 2 or 3 messages, i always give people a chance to make an impression, i do know women tend to get swamped on here but surely atleast a few statisticaly should have at least found me attractive enough to have taken time to see if i could hold a conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just looked at your profile, and can I use one word to improve it? That word is 'paragraph'.
Your looks are fine, but anyway your face is your face right? You don't necessarily have to have your face pic on public show, you can always attach it to any messages you send. We always reply to any messages that include photos (be it yay or nay) or at least some effort.
Be wary of your initial contact being something along the lines of 'Hi', 'up to much?' or 'how you doin?' sort of messages. I'm sure that might work with the odd person but by and large it's an irritant and those messages get deleted quite quickly.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i previously had most of my pics public , it made no difference, i started assuming it was my face putting the women off , it may be naive but i assumed as im on a swinging site that ladys would assume im single , but now you point it out i may need to state it "
Have you tried 'googling' swinging?
I think you'll find that the description (certainly in the vanilla world) is that it is something enjoyed by couples.
In truth, it is of course, much broader than that, and many single people are now involved in the scene, but the reason I make this comment is that it would appear - from your comment - that YOU are under the impression that swinging is something mainly for singles.
You will be surprised at just how many married men are on fab posing as single guys. There are also quite a few married or attached women posing as singles too.
Never assume anything |
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not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make "
okay.. simple piece of advice then... break it up where you think you would breathe or pause when reading it aloud |
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"not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make
okay.. simple piece of advice then... break it up where you think you would breathe or pause when reading it aloud"
Thank you for all the advice and helpful tips so far , ive tried to implement some and will try more soon , _abio your advice has been invaluable. you are a genuinely nice helpful guy id happily grab a beer with |
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"not excusing my appalling grammar and sentence structure but i am 100% dyslexic and i do tend to struggle with the full stops capital letters and strucuring of paragraphs and i know swinging is by and large a couples movment primarily,but i do get the point you make
okay.. simple piece of advice then... break it up where you think you would breathe or pause when reading it aloud"
just put some gaps in it, that's all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't usally write on things like this but I'd thought I'd shaer what I thought of your profile.
I think it's pritty irrelevant the bit about being from a generation that wasn't scared to walk up to a girl and ask for her number, this site is what it is and this is the platform you have to use to connect with others on here, I would include more about what your looking for than just what you see your self as. If you start it with not trying to sound up your own ass and then speak about yourself for the whole thing it does kinda come acros like that .also don't ask people to give you a chance make it so they can't resist to find out more, that's when the photos come in I'd put some private non nude ,not giving to much away so if they are interested they need to chat enough to see your privates ( no pun intended ) Not trying to be harsh in anyway was just brought up to think tough love is the best way |
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