FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > what am i doing wrong?
what am i doing wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi.
Been on few weeks and don't seem to be having any luck. Sometimes it has been me that can't meet but amount of knock backs has totally blown my confidence. Any advice? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to give it a lot longer than a few weeks, make an effort on your profile text as it says nothing and maybe put the cock pic to private, it tends to put many women off, we're looking for more than a cock! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Knock backs are all oart of the course. You need to learn to accept them and maybe even laugh them off and move on. Hide your dick pic too. Females prefer a nice face rather than a cock with a varicose vein runnin up it. A bit more personality in your profile text too would be good because at the minute messaging you would be like messaging a penis
Hope you get there bud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So.. constructive reasons why I wouldn't mail you:
Two cock pics, no no no. Tasteful well lit! get your white balance right pics of something other than a cock.
It seems you're into EVERYTHING. Back that off a little.
Add some light humour. See here for inspiration: http://www.fabswingers.com/profile/pornstar6969
You look ok, just present yourself a little better, less cock, more you. Tasteful, regular drinker, might put some off you alky!
Oh and a few weeks, as others say, thats no time at all.
Modify your profile, chat to peeps in general. Maybe best go to a club and mingle, very hard to judge if I'll like someone by their profile.
I hope that might help, NONE are meant as criticism, just pointers.
Penny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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3 weeks is nothing. Most single guys wait around 6 months to get their first meet.
Your profile isn't doing much for you.
I would suggest doing a forum search on profile advice and see what very useful advice has been given to others and see what you can apply to your own profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You say you're a 'keen photographer' and both of your photos are (to be blunt) of a low standard photography-wise. Sort of belies the text.
Cock pics some like them, some hate them, for us we like to see what's on offer (though don't need 235 pics at the same angle).
More text, more photos is what you need. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
Like all the other postings of this type, the answer is very simple.
You are a mere beginner; you have been on here only 3 weeks so if you thought it would be an Instant Fix site, dream on!
You are up against so many other guys. You have to stand out against all the others, so to be blunt, you have to SELL yourself!
Ditch the cock shots for private use only and get a face pic up at the very least.
Your profile is poor. Expand on it, but ye gods, reduce your "likes" list; are you really into everything or just maybe trying too hard to impress??
You don't accommodate - why? That will put folks off so say why!
Get into socials and clubs in your area.
It comes down to Patience, Perseverance and even more Patience.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Give it time - you look and read well, so im sure someone will take a shine to you
I was on here before both single and couples profiles and it took time to meet, but when it comes along, others will follow |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Ah Yes, I can see where you went wrong, you were born with a penis, that's your first mistake right there.
Brutal  "
Well how many women are on here complaining about the same thing? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Decided to try start again. Took pics off lied about not enjoying a drink, cut down on what I into even though I was hoping to try a lot of bucket list stuff but thanks for advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Decided to try start again. Took pics off lied about not enjoying a drink, cut down on what I into even though I was hoping to try a lot of bucket list stuff but thanks for advice"
You've actually gone worse since you updated after advice. Now your profile is a bog standard silhouette 'click in click out' profile that people spend less than a second on.
You do need photos, you do need text. Without either you will really struggle unless you go to clubs etc. |
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By *6and93Couple
over a year ago
Taunton |
Hi there,
Send us a pm....we'll give you our email and you can run potential pics and profile past us okay?
Keep smiling hun, it WILL get better just so many people on here are so quick to tarnish every single guy with the same brush.
Hannah
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pictures: A handful of tasteful ones, if you're not prepared to have one public attach a happy relaxed one to a message.
Profile: Doesn't need to be too long. A brief description of you and what you can offer (without bragging) and what you are looking for. Keep it light.
Messages: Make relevant to the profile you are messaging, attach pic, don't jump in at the deep end with proposing meets, not too long but not one line. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can you tell me to post a public face pic when you don't have one yourself? But thanks for the other feedback"
I didn't tell you to have a public face pic I said if you don't have one publicly available to attach one to a message (which is what we do) I am well aware having one in public is not ideal for everyone for various reasons but rarely will anyone meet without one
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"Thanks again just waiting till I get a photo I happy with showing that not going give me another ego kicking"
. You don't have to worry about an ego kicking on here. This is cyber world , not real life . You are only like to meet at most a few members from this site , so it does not really matter what they say ..A profile needs to be detailed in order to stand out from the crowd and also contain interesting pictures.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How can you tell me to post a public face pic when you don't have one yourself? But thanks for the other feedback
I didn't tell you to have a public face pic I said if you don't have one publicly available to attach one to a message (which is what we do) I am well aware having one in public is not ideal for everyone for various reasons but rarely will anyone meet without one
"
But I do have a pic to send |
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If you immediately take all the advice you're given, as you appear to have done, your profile -which is supposed to be unique to you and reflect your character and personality and be your 'advert' - will disappear and all the advice will make your amended profile the same as everyone else's and be boring and bland. It won't be your profile just a mosh mash of bits of other people's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just rewrite your profile when you've decided what to put. What you have now seems a little pointless, should have left it as it was until you were ready to rewrite it. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just rewrite your profile when you've decided what to put. What you have now seems a little pointless, should have left it as it was until you were ready to rewrite it. Good luck."
Thanks flame x |
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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago
Near enough |
OP you have been offered some great advice...
However I would simply say one thing to you, write your profile yourself and then look at it and ask yourself ' would I want to meet that person?'
Inject a bit of humour and personality, its your chance to shine.
Good luck |
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"Yep I working on what to write. Your profile looks good"
When do you intend amending your profile in order to tell us something about yourself ?. Lots of members have spent time giving you guidance and advice.  |
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"I have wrote a bit. Not too much to tell really just want make some like minded people."
To achieve the desired result your profile will need a lot more than a bit .Currently the only information that members have are that you are male , 40 , and looking for sex . It does not give people any information on which they can make an informed choice . Fab is a totally ruthless environment and you have to have a detailed and well written profile just to get to the starting line . Can you give ten key reasons as to why members might want to meet you. ?.
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I have wrote a bit. Not too much to tell really just want make some like minded people. To achieve the desired result your profile will need a lot more than a bit .Currently the only information that members have are that you are male , 40 , and looking for sex . It does not give people any information on which they can make an informed choice . Fab is a totally ruthless environment and you have to have a detailed and well written profile just to get to the starting line . Can you give ten key reasons as to why members might want to meet you. ?."
Totally agree with this! I look at profiles before even opening a message and if it is shite then I will just ignore.
It just doesn't entice anybody does it?  |
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"I have wrote a bit. Not too much to tell really just want make some like minded people. To achieve the desired result your profile will need a lot more than a bit .Currently the only information that members have are that you are male , 40 , and looking for sex . It does not give people any information on which they can make an informed choice . Fab is a totally ruthless environment and you have to have a detailed and well written profile just to get to the starting line . Can you give ten key reasons as to why members might want to meet you. ?.
Totally agree with this! I look at profiles before even opening a message and if it is shite then I will just ignore.
It just doesn't entice anybody does it? "
As I was waiting at the airport for a flight , I have started a thread asking members to list ten key reasons as to why members might consider meeting them. Maybe the OP might want to join in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you think people might object to being objectified as something on your bucketlist? Personally we want to meet people that want to meet us, not who want to tick of a fantasy?
In all hoesty you seem to have taken exception to the advice you;ce been given and 3 days after starting the thread have a profile that in no way stands out from the 100s of others on here |
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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago
London / Herts |
Very bare profile. No public photos, and very little information to go on. Why not tell people what sort of person you are, what sort of experiences you're looking for, maybe a few vague hints about your past experiences and what you do in your day to day life? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very bare profile. No public photos, and very little information to go on. Why not tell people what sort of person you are, what sort of experiences you're looking for, maybe a few vague hints about your past experiences and what you do in your day to day life?"
That's the new profile! |
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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago
London / Herts |
I'm surprised you're taking it as a knock to your confidence OP. How can you convince women and couples to engage in sexual activity with you when they've got so little to work with?
There's an element of courting in swinging that mirrors traditional monogamous encounters. You've got to be charming, attractive, stimulating...really, you've got to make yourself even more vulnerable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi.
Been on few weeks and don't seem to be having any luck. Sometimes it has been me that can't meet but amount of knock backs has totally blown my confidence. Any advice?"
You need a wing man |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi.. my name is Stevie and i like wine... i may have had to much tonight but fuck it.. i'm ony holidays
If any nice girl or couple would like to message me i would be only to pleased to reply
I'm 5ft5 but i have a tongue like a giraffe  haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best advice I think I ever got told was. Visit a club, be yourself and treat it like you at the pub.
Yes we all love sex on here but we are also real people you meet in everyday life.
So relax, go to a club and go with the mind set of chatting to people and let them see who you are and what sort of person you are.
And anything more than that is a bonus and soon you will have that confidence back.
But also gained new friends with the out look and kinks as you.
Good luck and have fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude seriously... what you need is a photoshop cock minimum 12"
Aforementioned cock to be accompanied by miniture sky remote.
Your Profile must say "straight" but will meet tv/tg
You also must list safe sex only, then in profile point out you are allergic to condoms of any man made material but its ok because you had the snip and well bareback feels better anyway.
Dont forget the txt spk ya nah.
and last but not least you my friend as a single guy really do need a couples profile, just so your imaginary mrs can give you a free pass to play alone.
oh and the most important one... be you, most of the ladies on here are experienced enough to spot a faker or married guy before he has finished writing the message that he is going to send her claiming to be in a sexless relationship but well I cant leave can I, the bitch will take everything I have.
but honestly, decent pics and a little bit of humour and honesty go a long way...
and rembember ABC.... Always Be Closing.
have fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude seriously... what you need is a photoshop cock minimum 12"
Aforementioned cock to be accompanied by miniture sky remote.
Your Profile must say "straight" but will meet tv/tg
You also must list safe sex only, then in profile point out you are allergic to condoms of any man made material but its ok because you had the snip and well bareback feels better anyway.
Dont forget the txt spk ya nah.
and last but not least you my friend as a single guy really do need a couples profile, just so your imaginary mrs can give you a free pass to play alone.
oh and the most important one... be you, most of the ladies on here are experienced enough to spot a faker or married guy before he has finished writing the message that he is going to send her claiming to be in a sexless relationship but well I cant leave can I, the bitch will take everything I have.
but honestly, decent pics and a little bit of humour and honesty go a long way...
and rembember ABC.... Always Be Closing.
have fun"
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