FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > What am I doing Wrong?,,,am I THAT ugly?
What am I doing Wrong?,,,am I THAT ugly?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So far joining up I have had one meet which was indeed good (sadly the individual didnt verify me). However I just cant see where I'm going wrong.
I've put plenty of face pics and tried my best to write a profile (not very good at describing myself though). I know that us single guys have to really work at it here but surely I'm not at such a complete sanity shearing level of ugliness.
I guess I'm just wondering why it seems so many others have more success than me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello and welcome to the site and to the forums, you have only been on here 2 weeks so give it a bit more time!
Maybe get rid of the whingy bits in your profile, the bits about fake profiles ect!
Do you send out messages to other members?
Try looking for socials in your area, they are always a great way of meeting like minded people!
We wish you luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So far joining up I have had one meet which was indeed good (sadly the individual didnt verify me). However I just cant see where I'm going wrong.
I've put plenty of face pics and tried my best to write a profile (not very good at describing myself though). I know that us single guys have to really work at it here but surely I'm not at such a complete sanity shearing level of ugliness.
I guess I'm just wondering why it seems so many others have more success than me.
"
Did you ask the person you met to verify you? |
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Ths is a site for swingers, not art enthusiasts-just read your profile & quite honestly your opening gambit is a turn off. Work & Mum?
Just say time is limited due to work towards the end of the ad.
Don't talk so much about art, if I want someone do to graphic art of Lou then you're the man-but I don't!!
Be more positive, more confident, more viril n your approach. More relaxed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ths is a site for swingers, not art enthusiasts-just read your profile & quite honestly your opening gambit is a turn off. Work & Mum?
Just say time is limited due to work towards the end of the ad.
Don't talk so much about art, if I want someone do to graphic art of Lou then you're the man-but I don't!!
Be more positive, more confident, more viril n your approach. More relaxed."
I agree only to the extent that the opening paragraph should be at the end of the profile, not the beginning. I think it shows an insight into personality that is so often missing from profiles. |
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"Ths is a site for swingers, not art enthusiasts-just read your profile & quite honestly your opening gambit is a turn off. Work & Mum?
Just say time is limited due to work towards the end of the ad.
Don't talk so much about art, if I want someone do to graphic art of Lou then you're the man-but I don't!!
Be more positive, more confident, more viril n your approach. More relaxed.
I agree only to the extent that the opening paragraph should be at the end of the profile, not the beginning. I think it shows an insight into personality that is so often missing from profiles. "
But do you not find that the ausing thing when you ask people for advice on here? It's all about opinions & we're all very varied.
The guy has to care for a disabled mum which clearly takes time, but many people have to care for children of various ages yet don't feel the need to mention it. To us it looks like the guy is after a sympathy f*** which he may well not be. It's all about perceptions.
That line work for you, yet it turns us off.
There is no right or wrong but clearly if he is having no success, something is wrong. I lost interest after the opening line, too much negativity. The only reason I persisted was because I wanted to be able to answer fully. But the ad is littered with irrelevance & negativity.
There is nothing wrong, per se, with his photos, it is how he sells himself. Or fails to. Confident & human is what we look for, not self pity & negativity or brash arrogance & 'in yer face'.
A happy medium. |
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal 
Thats what happens when you're only looking for unicorns to be fair "
We not looking for unicorns we are learning to swim and to jump on at the deep end could be suicidal |
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
Thats what happens when you're only looking for unicorns to be fair
We not looking for unicorns we are learning to swim and to jump on at the deep end could be suicidal "
You'll only find out by taking the plunge. You'll probably find you're very able swimmers!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
Thats what happens when you're only looking for unicorns to be fair
We not looking for unicorns we are learning to swim and to jump on at the deep end could be suicidal "
We'd meet you no problems at all. And we would bring our water wings along and maybe even a lilo.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know how u feel been here years n had three good meets but most dont reply, instant block even if u follow all requests in profile, or message gets read but no reply so u dont know where you are. Then theres the odd single female that arranges to meet then stands you up (this is regular)
You just gotta chill n let it all run its course. Got stood up just today too lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Warrior women ? Where does that come from ? Re do your profile as someone said its a bit geeky and it's like you're after a sympathy vote tho it's nice you look after your mum |
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
Thats what happens when you're only looking for unicorns to be fair
We not looking for unicorns we are learning to swim and to jump on at the deep end could be suicidal
You'll only find out by taking the plunge. You'll probably find you're very able swimmers! "
Lol probably able swimmers means there is a chance we could drowned to death  |
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
Thats what happens when you're only looking for unicorns to be fair
We not looking for unicorns we are learning to swim and to jump on at the deep end could be suicidal
You'll only find out by taking the plunge. You'll probably find you're very able swimmers!
Lol probably able swimmers means there is a chance we could drowned to death "
Or you can just sit there procrastinating & wondering what if?
You can't drown cos there's no real water. It's better to regret something that you tried rather than something you didn't try but then you're right.
If you maintain that approach, you'll not enjoy it so why fantasise? Why not leave now? |
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"
We not looking for unicorns we are learning to swim and to jump on at the deep end could be suicidal "
Thats fine and taking your time is key to feel comfortable.
But also I was purely pointing out that all you're looking for is F's and FF's (lol) of which there are very very very few, even fewer who are real and even fewer who are young attractive and meet couples, so the chances of getting a meet under that circumstance are going to be veeery low :P |
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"So far joining up I have had one meet which was indeed good (sadly the individual didnt verify me). However I just cant see where I'm going wrong.
I've put plenty of face pics and tried my best to write a profile (not very good at describing myself though). I know that us single guys have to really work at it here but surely I'm not at such a complete sanity shearing level of ugliness.
I guess I'm just wondering why it seems so many others have more success than me.
"
lol your thread has grown arms n legs, look what you've done & had loads of hits on your profile!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So far joining up I have had one meet which was indeed good (sadly the individual didnt verify me). However I just cant see where I'm going wrong.
I've put plenty of face pics and tried my best to write a profile (not very good at describing myself though). I know that us single guys have to really work at it here but surely I'm not at such a complete sanity shearing level of ugliness.
I guess I'm just wondering why it seems so many others have more success than me."
One thing you haven't asked for OP, is a profile critique. If you want one, you need to say so. We can only do this if you ask. Forum rules and all that...
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.... without getting bogged down about a profile which most members regard as inept there is the ubiquitous issue that it's difficult for single men to get a meet. And probably one of the main reasons is the ratio of men to women on this site. However, this is not helped by those requesting members to apply/message for a meet - then ignoring their messsage and even blocking them without replying to their message ... this i regard as the actions of a bully and abuser. Yes of course i suspect that some meets/events will attract applications in great quantity but every one of them should receive a reply which reflects courtesy and respect to fellow members. |
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"I know how u feel been here years n had three good meets but most dont reply, instant block even if u follow all requests in profile, or message gets read but no reply so u dont know where you are. Then theres the odd single female that arranges to meet then stands you up (this is regular)
You just gotta chill n let it all run its course. Got stood up just today too lol. "
...
..... i think you make some very good points about the actions of what i regard as the 'bullies and abusers' on this site. They often regard themselves as above their fellow members by a lack of manners and respect. Yes there are many members who include in their message an assurance that they will reply even if it takes awhile.
I include the following comment that i have used previously: .... there is the ubiquitous issue that it's difficult for single men to get a meet. And probably one of the main reasons is the ratio of men to women on this site. However, this is not helped by those requesting members to apply/message for a meet - then ignoring their messsage and even blocking them without replying to their message ... this i regard as the actions of a bully and abuser. Yes of course i suspect that some meets/events will attract applications in great quantity but every one of them should receive a reply which reflects courtesy and respect to fellow members. |
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Thats all well and good but when there are 40 odd unread messages in the inbox and at least half haven't put any effort in, haven't read the profile and aren't anywhere near what were after why should they get a reply ? and how on earth is that considered bullying, I have heard a lot of bs on here but that has to take the cake.
Can you really bully someone by not responding to them in any way ? really ?   |
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By *o 1Man
over a year ago
Ponteland / London |
You've been here 2 whole weeks and only the one meet. You should have had at least 3 gangbangs, a couple of fuck n go's and at least one invite to a pissing party by now. Guess this place ain't for you fella!  |
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" .... without getting bogged down about a profile which most members regard as inept there is the ubiquitous issue that it's difficult for single men to get a meet. And probably one of the main reasons is the ratio of men to women on this site. However, this is not helped by those requesting members to apply/message for a meet - then ignoring their messsage and even blocking them without replying to their message ... this i regard as the actions of a bully and abuser. Yes of course i suspect that some meets/events will attract applications in great quantity but every one of them should receive a reply which reflects courtesy and respect to fellow members."
If people can't be bothered to 'waste their time' reading what people actually want, then why should we be bothered to reply to those messages that clearly fail to address what we seek?
Bullying? Abuse? Grow up.
Any of those who have read our profile, & it is immediately apparent, get a reply even if just a polite 'thanks but no thanks.' manners, after all, cost nothing. But those who have not bothered to read our profile-it goes both ways, we will not bother to reply to their messages. They lack manners to read, so we will not reply.
Too many people up their own arse on here? Yes many. Peopple who have a very general profile whom you think are asking for someone like you but then just ignore you. As for ourselves, if you match the initial text, we will respond. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal "
Whaaaat that's mental!!
You 2 have a great profile and super sexy pics what the hell is going wrong in the west mids? If you 2 were more in the east you'd be swamped with offers....including ours 
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
Whaaaat that's mental!!
You 2 have a great profile and super sexy pics what the hell is going wrong in the west mids? If you 2 were more in the east you'd be swamped with offers....including ours
X"
Oh ma bad!!!
Missed the bit that said looking for females and ff couples only lol
X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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damn...and here was me thinking that mentioning the warrior women/xena thing would ignite some of the roleplay fethishists out there, guess I was off the mark a bit on that one. Cheers for the input though. Guess I have some stuff to think about with this.
Shame there doesnt seem to be any red sonja lovers here tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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pics are all a bit samey
I'm arty too...but as an interest..thats one to discuss, not have it as ur main profile
check out social events if u cant get into clubs because of the ID thing
anyway good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ths is a site for swingers, not art enthusiasts-just read your profile & quite honestly your opening gambit is a turn off. Work & Mum?
Just say time is limited due to work towards the end of the ad.
Don't talk so much about art, if I want someone do to graphic art of Lou then you're the man-but I don't!!
Be more positive, more confident, more viril n your approach. More relaxed.
I agree only to the extent that the opening paragraph should be at the end of the profile, not the beginning. I think it shows an insight into personality that is so often missing from profiles. "
we would have to say the same.also single men think couples get lots of meets .we get 100s of emails but %99 of then are a waste of time . we would say just log on once a week to check emails
good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude, I don't think U need to mention your mother, or any other family member for that matter, in your swinging profile.
Or the fact u have no ID. Maybe you should get that sorted out. I mean, how do u get on in life with no identification??? Simply having ID and getting yourself to a club would heighten your chances, or at least get a few verifications from folk that have seen you in real life. Verifications don't have to be from play meets.
Also, maybe don't go on too much about your work and other hobbies.. Keep it sex related.
One last thing... A face pic is always appreciated, but several?? A little too much don't you think? Us ladies, or me anyway, like face shots and cock shots, but also show some of your body, arms, legs, arse!
Good luck, and happy swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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unfortunately its a bit of a catch 22 for guys...OP says he cant accom, many would ask why...he's been hopefully honest and gave the true reason.
women and cpls are the only ones that dont appear to need give validation on why the cant or wont accom
OP's main prob is the pics at present and the short time he's been on fab
and who knows the messaging skills.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So because I didn't reply to the guy who messaged me last night, asking if we could meet so he could "fuck me hard, and slap me around a bit", I'm a bully?
Unreal. "
Kinky! Who is this guy.... |
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By *ss2011Man
over a year ago
Leeds/Bradford |
It is very hit and miss, women on here will get absolutely bombarded with messages, most from seemingly brain dead people, and a lot just 'give up' with sifting through all of the same emails. That's my guess anyway. It is a swingers site too, so it is kind of about luck to get a meet straight off here, though effort and thought of how you're coming across and such could make all the difference.
People above have given you some good advice though, take it. |
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You do need to give it more time and be online more.
Get in the chat rooms use the forum more and don't pester people.
You will be just fine.
If not get yourself some rohypnol that does the trick.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" .... without getting bogged down about a profile which most members regard as inept there is the ubiquitous issue that it's difficult for single men to get a meet. And probably one of the main reasons is the ratio of men to women on this site. However, this is not helped by those requesting members to apply/message for a meet - then ignoring their messsage and even blocking them without replying to their message ... this i regard as the actions of a bully and abuser. Yes of course i suspect that some meets/events will attract applications in great quantity but every one of them should receive a reply which reflects courtesy and respect to fellow members."
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not been on here long but I've noticed that if you've not got veris then it puts people off.
Hopefully I'm going to the Sheffield social so I can meet people and take it from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've done that, been bugged by certain members for a face pic, send them one then I get blocked!! I must be ugly haha "
Never ever send a lady or couple a face pic first. Golden rule. If they really interested they will send you one to start with |
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal "
According to your profile you are in 'high demand'...Hmmmm the mind boggles. Get to a club or put yourself out there if you want a meet! |
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Just goes to show you can't please all the people all the time, so don't try, just be true to you.
Unlike the majority I like your profile op. I like the tone and the insight into you as a person. Single men are advised to sell themselves, say what they like, explain why they can't accommodate, you've done all that plus you've a face pic!
You don't come across needy or looking for sympathy, just a good time with your type of woman. No one bats an eyelid when others ask for submissive, dominant, slutty etc type women, but some have taken exception towards you seeking Red Sonja!
All I'll say is two weeks is not a long time on site to start this type of thread.
However, I wish you the best: good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the best approach to this is always leave alot of room to be let doown as it will happen alot here. Roll with the punches and if u lucky u might land a few jabs.
So hang tight play safe and dont sound too desperate. |
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
According to your profile you are in 'high demand'...Hmmmm the mind boggles. Get to a club or put yourself out there if you want a meet! "
If you read the profile right due to high demand we now have msn/Skype set up that is due to a large amount of ppl we are or have spoken to have asked for msn or Skype just thought I'd reply to stop your mind from boggling as it must hurt xx |
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
According to your profile you are in 'high demand'...Hmmmm the mind boggles. Get to a club or put yourself out there if you want a meet!
If you read the profile right due to high demand we now have msn/Skype set up that is due to a large amount of ppl we are or have spoken to have asked for msn or Skype just thought I'd reply to stop your mind from boggling as it must hurt xx "
well you lovely couple, may I suggest that you get off your cam/skype/msn and go and meet some real people in the flesh. Having looked at your pictures you would have no shortage of takers.So I don't understand the 4 month baron patch......Now my mind definatley boggles.....Ouch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Count yourself lucky you had 1 meet in two weeks we been here for 4 months and nothing life goes on no big deal
Thats what happens when you're only looking for unicorns to be fair
We not looking for unicorns we are learning to swim and to jump on at the deep end could be suicidal
We'd meet you no problems at all. And we would bring our water wings along and maybe even a lilo. "
would u meet me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I need help as well - everywhere i seem to go it says 'not looking for single males' or no asians etc not sure what i need to do .......some people mentioned going to socials but not sure how that would help with actually meeting someone
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help as well - everywhere i seem to go it says 'not looking for single males' or no asians etc not sure what i need to do .......some people mentioned going to socials but not sure how that would help with actually meeting someone
"
er...cos u would be meeting with someone...u might not get sex from it(at that particular time)..thats what separates swinging from just plain sex sites... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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our problem is findin meets close to us everyone we like is miles away,we are lucky to have found 2cples we now meet regulaly from this site and one from a swingers club we meet too, so get to a club too increase your chances . |
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"I need help as well - everywhere i seem to go it says 'not looking for single males' or no asians etc not sure what i need to do .......some people mentioned going to socials but not sure how that would help with actually meeting someone
"
What are you looking for if its not to meet someone? This is a swinging site, and as such, I for one need to meet and chat to a person before I would ever consider any further contact. It is not a fuckfest and we dont all shag mindlessly and without discretion.
Attending a social is not fucking on the dancefloor with random folk, and is not an orgy. It allows people to chat to likeminded people.
Attending a social will get some verifications and will show you are actually a nice bloke.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help as well - everywhere i seem to go it says 'not looking for single males' or no asians etc not sure what i need to do .......some people mentioned going to socials but not sure how that would help with actually meeting someone
What are you looking for if its not to meet someone? This is a swinging site, and as such, I for one need to meet and chat to a person before I would ever consider any further contact. It is not a fuckfest and we dont all shag mindlessly and without discretion.
Attending a social is not fucking on the dancefloor with random folk, and is not an orgy. It allows people to chat to likeminded people.
Attending a social will get some verifications and will show you are actually a nice bloke..... "
well it opens up better chance of getting a fuckfest lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's hard but you have to keep on going you will I started out the same once you start looking and talking for a while people couples will want to see you a d know short messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just seen this and thought that seeing as the OP goes on so much about being an "artist"....his photos could be a bit more imaginative-show off his personality a bit more as thats what he seems to be trying to do on his profile. Dodgy webcam photos 
Also-how does anyone get along without ID?? Genuine question! How do you open a bank account, pay rent, get a bus pass or buy anything age restricted from the supermarket???
Good luck-hope you get a meet soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So far joining up I have had one meet which was indeed good (sadly the individual didnt verify me). However I just cant see where I'm going wrong.
I've put plenty of face pics and tried my best to write a profile (not very good at describing myself though). I know that us single guys have to really work at it here but surely I'm not at such a complete sanity shearing level of ugliness.
I guess I'm just wondering why it seems so many others have more success than me.
"
been here 7 days and had a meet lol some single guys have been here years and not had one so if your to be belived then you are very very rarley lucky. |
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