FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > why dont no women want to chat when your being and tryin to make new friends
why dont no women want to chat when your being and tryin to make new friends
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Maybe consider what you're sending, if you're getting no response.
also, you need to work on your profile. Do you really think it stands out from the 100's of other guys who are contacting the same people you are..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happened to me many a time. They'd rather piss and moan about the sleaze balls but completely ignore people who could be nice as pie"
Here you jamma boy I said hello to you pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Boys... what you need to remember is that despite this being a swing site, no one should ever expect a repl or a shag! Despite being polite and resoectful in messages I often to get dimissed or deleted! This is a fun site, so don't take it personally, carry on being your charming polite selves and it will come!
Oatience, politenss and being non pushy goes far on this site !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Boys... what you need to remember is that despite this being a swing site, no one should ever expect a repl or a shag! Despite being polite and resoectful in messages I often to get dimissed or deleted! This is a fun site, so don't take it personally, carry on being your charming polite selves and it will come!
Oatience, politenss and being non pushy goes far on this site ! "
excuse the typo errors! |
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"Help I dont know why ?"
The title of your post is longer than your profile.
To me you seem to display a sense of entitlement; drop that pronto!
Anyone who gets through my filters with "txt spk" messages get deleted without being read.
"How are you" type messages get deleted too.
I'm not unique...maybe other people act the same...who knows.
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"B
Patience, politenss and being non pushy goes far on this site ! "
So very true!
I haven't asked for a meet yet, but have had several!
It can take time, but it's worth it when you find the right way...
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd estimate chaps outnumber ladies on here about 50 to 1 at least mate.
Therefore women receive a thousand messages every couple of days. If I were in their shoes I'd probably delete the overwhelming majority too if I'm honest, rather than spend up to three hours a day replying, christ it would become like another job! And being 'nice' alone merely elevates you above the bottom half of message senders, you'll need more than that to guarantee a reply on most occasions.
Fortunately I'm a single guy, and while I get enough messages as well as replies to the ones I've sent to have choice I'm not absolutely swamped with the buggers, combing through a giant heap to find the few that tick all my boxes...
My advice would be to either just act on the incoming messages you get as you know the sender is already interested, or send messages that intrigue, interest and seduce a potential meet. Above all be imaginative! Ladies love fantasy sex in my experience (great cos I do too!) And using your imagination to create delightful imagery, perhaps with a few well-chosen pics included, NOT of your cock on a first message unless they specifically request it (ladies do like to imagine something without having it pushed in their faces) Also have a profile to back it up as women will undeniably check this if they want to know more before even replying, one that says more than the fact you're looking for fun (you might as well put 'I like eating every mealtime and breathing regularly')
Good luck!
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"U try and say nice things to them and then they delete your text ? With out reading it ?"
I often do this if they are clearly out of my age and location range, which is clear on my profile.
I find it I irritating if I'm contacted by people who haven't taken a blind bit of notice of my preferences just to 'chat' etc.
That's my two penneth worth .. |
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"Wot part of my profile should I take off ?"
Erm, there isn'tt a lot TO take off!
You should try to sell yourself a little more, tell potential meets what you do and don't like, but more importantly what you are like and what you offer. Don't be crude, but lighthearted often works.
Try looking at a few other guys profiles - some will have more success than others and you can often see why!!
Also try the chat rooms (be polite and not pushy!) and the forums are a great way of saying hello too.
Good luck! |
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"Wot part of my profile should I take off ?"
Seriously?? Take off?? Take anything off and there will be nothing there... not that there's anything there just now...
Start by having a look at other single men's profiles.... (there's 3 in this thread alone who've given you advice... all three have IMO a good profile)
Compare yours to their's and who do you think people will reply to??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd estimate chaps outnumber ladies on here about 50 to 1 at least mate.
Therefore women receive a thousand messages every couple of days. If I were in their shoes I'd probably delete the overwhelming majority too if I'm honest, rather than spend up to three hours a day replying, christ it would become like another job! And being 'nice' alone merely elevates you above the bottom half of message senders, you'll need more than that to guarantee a reply on most occasions.
Fortunately I'm a single guy, and while I get enough messages as well as replies to the ones I've sent to have choice I'm not absolutely swamped with the buggers, combing through a giant heap to find the few that tick all my boxes...
My advice would be to either just act on the incoming messages you get as you know the sender is already interested, or send messages that intrigue, interest and seduce a potential meet. Above all be imaginative! Ladies love fantasy sex in my experience (great cos I do too!) And using your imagination to create delightful imagery, perhaps with a few well-chosen pics included, NOT of your cock on a first message unless they specifically request it (ladies do like to imagine something without having it pushed in their faces) Also have a profile to back it up as women will undeniably check this if they want to know more before even replying, one that says more than the fact you're looking for fun (you might as well put 'I like eating every mealtime and breathing regularly')
Good luck!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wot part of my profile should I take off ?"
mate, its not what you leave out its what you havent put in......if you do tempt someone to have a look at your profile there is so little info on it they cant make a judgement about you.........Have a browse of the profiles of men complaining about not being able to get a meet. You will probably notice that there are several similarities.....Then browse the profiles of men who do get meets and you will notice other things. They are all different and they all speak about the owners likes and their aims on the site.
Your pics are the only good things you have going for you atm......
Im also sorry to have to say it but for every hundred mails you send out only 2 or 3 will be read. for every 100 mails that are read only 1 or 2 will be answered. Sad but true. You just have to play the numbers there. You will do better to watch and then comment of peoples statuses, if ur fun and acurate that might work for you. hotlist the people you like and watch that way...... Its pretty relentless but you will be more successfull if you target your efforts......
Good luck...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly I'm afraid that guys looking to chat sometimes come across pretty dull. I'm not saying you are OP, but the number of times someone who is happy to chat ends up having the same conversation with me everytime I log onto the site gets pretty stupid.
Here's a fictional example of how, just wanting to chat seems to work:
them: "Hi, you okay today?, been up to anything?"
me: "yeah, not bad, just got in from a 6 mile run. You been up to much?"
them: "no"
And that's it! No attempt to actually hold a conversation, just the same set of messages between me and them every day. It's dull! I honestly got the impression that some of them were hoping that I'd have logged on looking for a meet there and then and by messaging me the second I was online that they would be first in the queue.
As a lot of other people on here have already told you. Write a bit on your profile about your personality, what you want to do/like to do in bed (not gory details!) and what you are looking for in a woman (hint: be more specific than pulse & pussy).
With your messages to people. If you are writing "hi, wanna chat?" then expect to get deleted. Don't write reams, but tell them something about you that isn't on your profile (don't just copy and paste your profile!) and show them you've read their profile too. Say WHY you like certain things they've written and ask questions about it. Show that you are honestly interested in them and not just looking to get your end away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to agree with the other contributors to the thread. If I receive a message that looks like a one liner or "iz typd lik dis" its an instant delete. I get up to thirty messages a day most of them ate the obligatory "hey wanna fuck?" Could also be that when you send the message they've looked at your profile and have decided from your pics that they're not interested. It happens, some people myself included as I'm guilty of doing it, check out a person's pics before reading the message. People are shallow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me the absolute Key is actually reading the profile n tailoring the message to suit. For example my profile clearly states I am not looking for new playmates at the mo as I'm taking a break during pregnancy yet I'm still inundated with message from mainly single guys tryin it on. There was only one guy that actually typed a message complimenting me on my profile n pics then went on to say no your not meeting but good luck with the twins if u are up to playing after they are born I'd love for you to get in touch - polite n showed he'd actually cared bout wot I'd written so yes I will be contacting him wen play resumes |
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"For me the absolute Key is actually reading the profile n tailoring the message to suit. For example my profile clearly states I am not looking for new playmates at the mo as I'm taking a break during pregnancy yet I'm still inundated with message from mainly single guys tryin it on. There was only one guy that actually typed a message complimenting me on my profile n pics then went on to say no your not meeting but good luck with the twins if u are up to playing after they are born I'd love for you to get in touch - polite n showed he'd actually cared bout wot I'd written so yes I will be contacting him wen play resumes "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to say that any we get which are clearly not thought through get deleted. Also as Tor is an English Graduate, the likelihood of 'wot u up 2" getting past her personal filters isn't high!
Even good messages still need to have some element of the sender being attractive to us. It's not that they're ugly it's just not what we are looking for.
You can't imagine the number of "hey I'm in town fancy meeting tonight?" Messages we get. For a single bloke to get through you have to stand out from the crowd (ideally in a good way)!
Don't despair though for as my mate always says to me "for every pot theirs a lid!"
Good luck
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is some good advice in here mainly about being polite, courteous and respectful but also standing out from the crowd.
I am relatively fortunate that I have some great "sexy" friends as you put it but I am known in chat and make an effort.
I get messages unanswered or deleted and that is the right of the person I send it to. She / they don't wish me personal harm its just I am not for them. You need to develop a thicker skin.
I looked at a friends mailbox with her once and she did have 970 messages in 2 days...what would you do? Reply to every single one?
Follow the advice, take a chill pill and enjoy the site. Your balls will not explode if you don't make friends today, this week or this month.
Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's plenty of guys on here I d chat to even the op but when I said hiya last night I got a wink !!! How do I answer that ffs anyway most guys want a meet within 2 messages and that aint happening unless you re something special xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's plenty of guys on here I d chat to even the op but when I said hiya last night I got a wink !!! How do I answer that ffs anyway most guys want a meet within 2 messages and that aint happening unless you re something special xx "
i completely agree, the conversation usually goes something like this :-
Guy:- hi fancy a chat
Me:- yeah sure, how are you?
Guy:- fancy a meet
D E L E T E  |
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The first thing we look at before reading the message is the profile, if there is nothing on the profile then the message is deleted.
Update your profile and persevere and something may happen, but as per previous messages there is no guarantee. |
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"U try and say nice things to them and then they delete your text ? With out reading it ?"
you will find before even reading the email ppl will look at your profile first and tbh there a lot to read so probs delete email ,like others have said you have to sell your self better than the next fella ,in chat rooms forums meets ect , we put in adds no crap short replys we still get them then we delete if ppl take no notice of look as though half read adds profile why should we bother,use some imagination reinvent your self via profile , and remember only been here a cpl of weeks its takes time.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not trying to be hard but he says he wants friends don't we all but I d want a chat before I decide to meet him cos his profile is quite generalistic ! But he could be a nice guy |
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I'm not here to chat. I'm here to arrange meets with men I think I'm likely to lust after when I meet them in person.
So if someone wants to chat or make friends then it'll be a no thanks from me.
And if I don't fancy them from their profile then I won't ask for more pics and if I don't fancy them from the pics then we won't be meeting. And why would I keep spending time chatting when I'm trying to arrange a meet for my limited free time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totaly agree with you there stripypj they dont give people the chance to speak just goes in the trash bin"
I don't know what you're whining about to be honest mate. You don't seem to have a problem getting meets so like mine most of your messages are getting replied to.
Yet you have no avatar, your only public pic is of your cock, and your profile says next to fuck all yet still manages to fit a little whinge in!
Maximum reward for minimum effort really so I can't understand exactly what you're grumbling about?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say that any we get which are clearly not thought through get deleted. Also as Tor is an English Graduate, the likelihood of 'wot u up 2" getting past her personal filters isn't high!
Even good messages still need to have some element of the sender being attractive to us. It's not that they're ugly it's just not what we are looking for.
You can't imagine the number of "hey I'm in town fancy meeting tonight?" Messages we get. For a single bloke to get through you have to stand out from the crowd (ideally in a good way)!
Don't despair though for as my mate always says to me "for every pot theirs a lid!"
Good luck
J"
I bet tor has picked you up on your English " theirs a lid" should be "there's a lid".  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"U try and say nice things to them and then they delete your text ? With out reading it ?"
that means they looked at your profile and thought not for me and never read your message in most cases
really if your being nice in your messages then you need a profile that makes them think phroar and that dont mean a picture of ur cock, ladies want to see your face, body, pictures of you looking your best, are the pics you put up of you looking your best or did you just pick any face n cock pic? coz im sure you must have better pictures
when i was looking on here had all my best pictures, you want the sort of stuff people would use for their profile pics on facebook for example, you want pictures of you looking your best showing face and at least some of your body. full body pic or topless on if looks good often helps too
but people look at profiles before message, im guessing if your message is nice and polite and trying to start up a friendly converstation they will see all that from the message preview without clicking, then they will look at your profile pic and after if interested look at your profile, and if your profile gets them thinking phroar i like him then they will read and reply, if not then dont expect anything back
your one line profile aint going to do much for you, why not look at guys in your area who have a good amount of verifications who are similar in looks and build to you and see what they are doing that you are not |
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"I'm not here to chat. I'm here to arrange meets with men I think I'm likely to lust after when I meet them in person.
So if someone wants to chat or make friends then it'll be a no thanks from me.
And if I don't fancy them from their profile then I won't ask for more pics and if I don't fancy them from the pics then we won't be meeting. And why would I keep spending time chatting when I'm trying to arrange a meet for my limited free time?"
You don't get it do you? Tsk!
When you sign up you forefit any right to say no to any man on site. If they want to write to you, fuck you etc you have to answer and comply. Seeking men you may find sexually attractive will have to wait until all the socially inept have been given a chance.
Don't let me tell you again! |
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"You don't get it do you? Tsk!
When you sign up you forefit any right to say no to any man on site. If they want to write to you, fuck you etc you have to answer and comply. Seeking men you may find sexually attractive will have to wait until all the socially inept have been given a chance.
Don't let me tell you again! "
Eeek.... I probably should delete my profile then...... my mother always taught me never to say yes to everything and everyone..... So I'm breaking all these rules by saying no to all these guys   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet tor has picked you up on your English " theirs a lid" should be "there's a lid". "
The beauty of using your Iphone to do posts online!
there, they're, their crap at predictive text. |
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