FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > I am Lost
I am Lost
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"Hello to those who haven’t met me, I guess this is my introduction to this forum, and I’m looking for some insight. So before I get into anything I want to say that I’m not bashing the site, I actually think this incredible platform with great tools to meet and contact all sorts of people and I love the community aspect of it. It is well thought out, that is why I came site in the first place. I have used this site very regularly for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been on this site before about a year or so ago but I didn’t understand the site so I left. But this time, I wanted to give the site a fair shake and I took the time to learn how it works, read through the forums, profiles and take advice from other members. and with all that I still feel very lost. I have found it very difficult to connect with anyone single female’s or couple’s here. Even though I have seemly done everything right, I’m essentially ignored. I have made sure my profile is at least presentable and that my opening messages are polite and not offensive (at least I hope not if so, I apologise). I do take to time to read profiles and write something for them but It feels like it doesn’t matter. Even if I was to write the perfect message to someone, or if my profile is was the best in the world, I still won’t get anywhere. It’s nothing but frustrating. And yes! I understand that ladies and couples can get a lot of messages but when my messages are there’s never been a conversation. Also, I don’t send dick pics (except that one time I was asked). If I’m not what people are looking for on this platform, that is perfectly fine. I would just like to know. Finally, I know that some new users don’t reply to advice or criticism, but I’m not one of those. I generally want help and understanding and I will respond when I can. Thank you, Robin" I appreciate I'm not yoyr target demographic, so take of this what you will. Not the worst profile I've seen. I would change "What I want" to "What I would like", but thats just me, other than that, it's ok. Your best bet IMHO is to get involved in the forums, the lounge is a good place to start. Watch the threads and interactions for a while, get a feel.of the place and people before jumping in. Lastly, get yourself to a few socials, it's a great way to network and for people to sed the person behind the profile, the real you. Unfortunately you are 1 man among many, so frequently meeting someone is a matter of right time, right place. It can be tough for single guys (I am one outside of this profile) it takes time, get accustomed to your messages being ignored or deleted. Best thing, delete all sent messages and never give them another thought. Don't be disheartened. Don't get frustrated. Roll with it. Cake | |||
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"Just keep trying. One fish: Large ocean Here is the problem: Members online now: 35694. In cam chat room now: 700" Yeah I noticed that, everyone is really shy to use the chatroom, me included haha | |||
"In fact your opening message on this thread is one of the best I've seen from a nascent member; polite, realistic and mindful of what women, couples have to go through. Good luck mate." It's much better than the last thread regarding a lack of success I saw! Having a quick look, I'd say if you were female there'd be 100s of messages heading for your inbox from every guy within a 300 mile radius. Nicely written with clear pics. Only this I'd change has been said alread, - WHAT I WANT - comes over a little strong, maybe change it to *** I'm looking for *** or something less.....demanding...not that I'm in any way an expert on writing a good profile! 
Just a matter of waiting. Have to remember most couples/females will have a lot of messages daily, spotting yours will be like a page from Where's Wally  | |||
"You seem a nice guy but you have been on 2 weeks. Best advice I can give you is go to a club " Thanks MsBlue and yeah I've been thinking of going to one. I did find out about this site at a party. | |||
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"Hello to those who haven’t met me, I guess this is my introduction to this forum, and I’m looking for some insight. So before I get into anything I want to say that I’m not bashing the site, I actually think this incredible platform with great tools to meet and contact all sorts of people and I love the community aspect of it. It is well thought out, that is why I came site in the first place. I have used this site very regularly for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been on this site before about a year or so ago but I didn’t understand the site so I left. But this time, I wanted to give the site a fair shake and I took the time to learn how it works, read through the forums, profiles and take advice from other members. and with all that I still feel very lost. I have found it very difficult to connect with anyone single female’s or couple’s here. Even though I have seemly done everything right, I’m essentially ignored. I have made sure my profile is at least presentable and that my opening messages are polite and not offensive (at least I hope not if so, I apologise). I do take to time to read profiles and write something for them but It feels like it doesn’t matter. Even if I was to write the perfect message to someone, or if my profile is was the best in the world, I still won’t get anywhere. It’s nothing but frustrating. And yes! I understand that ladies and couples can get a lot of messages but when my messages are there’s never been a conversation. Also, I don’t send dick pics (except that one time I was asked). If I’m not what people are looking for on this platform, that is perfectly fine. I would just like to know. Finally, I know that some new users don’t reply to advice or criticism, but I’m not one of those. I generally want help and understanding and I will respond when I can. Thank you, Robin I appreciate I'm not yoyr target demographic, so take of this what you will. Not the worst profile I've seen. I would change "What I want" to "What I would like", but thats just me, other than that, it's ok. Your best bet IMHO is to get involved in the forums, the lounge is a good place to start. Watch the threads and interactions for a while, get a feel.of the place and people before jumping in. Lastly, get yourself to a few socials, it's a great way to network and for people to sed the person behind the profile, the real you. Unfortunately you are 1 man among many, so frequently meeting someone is a matter of right time, right place. It can be tough for single guys (I am one outside of this profile) it takes time, get accustomed to your messages being ignored or deleted. Best thing, delete all sent messages and never give them another thought. Don't be disheartened. Don't get frustrated. Roll with it. Cake " Thank you man, and I've changed that part of my profile, we see what happens. And i'll check out lounge too. I think socials will be a good shout, my skin is not thick enough for all these ignored messages haha | |||
"Miss Devil here. OP, unfortunately, I am tall for a lady and I am not interested in short men. There is nothing you can do about your height, but there is plenty you can do about other issues I'd have with your profile. First and foremost, you should reconsider the distance you are prepared to travel. 15 miles is nothing. Secondly, maybe explain why you can't accommodate? As most people would assume it's because you're in a relationship/married. " Oh how far would be a reasonable amount to travel? I can accommodate because I live with family, booking a hotel is no problem tho. I might have meet people in person to get verified. | |||
"First of all welcome to Fab and the Forums. Take on board what the others have suggested. It's all good advice. I actually liked your profile. It's just "normal", innocuous and down to earth. In fact your opening message on this thread is one of the best I've seen from a nascent member; polite, realistic and mindful of what women, couples have to go through. Good luck mate." Thank you Nero that's very nice of you. And the advise everyone has given me is really appreciated. | |||
"Miss Devil here. OP, unfortunately, I am tall for a lady and I am not interested in short men. There is nothing you can do about your height, but there is plenty you can do about other issues I'd have with your profile. First and foremost, you should reconsider the distance you are prepared to travel. 15 miles is nothing. Secondly, maybe explain why you can't accommodate? As most people would assume it's because you're in a relationship/married. Oh how far would be a reasonable amount to travel? I can accommodate because I live with family, booking a hotel is no problem tho. I might have meet people in person to get verified." Only you can answer how far you'd be happy to travel. I/we don't want people travelling for more than 1h but as you're in London, that's just a few miles some days. You can get verified by going to an organised social or a club. Even if you don't get "lucky", the hosts would verify you if you ask. | |||
"In fact your opening message on this thread is one of the best I've seen from a nascent member; polite, realistic and mindful of what women, couples have to go through. Good luck mate. It's much better than the last thread regarding a lack of success I saw! Having a quick look, I'd say if you were female there'd be 100s of messages heading for your inbox from every guy within a 300 mile radius. Nicely written with clear pics. Only this I'd change has been said alread, - WHAT I WANT - comes over a little strong, maybe change it to *** I'm looking for *** or something less.....demanding...not that I'm in any way an expert on writing a good profile!
Just a matter of waiting. Have to remember most couples/females will have a lot of messages daily, spotting yours will be like a page from Where's Wally "Haha Yeah I get it, It make sense why it so hard to stand out. oh and I've changed that part of my profile now  | |||
"I could literally copy and paste op as my own. Almost ready to give up hope" It's good to hear I'm not alone, Maybe add more pictures if you can. | |||
"Miss Devil here. OP, unfortunately, I am tall for a lady and I am not interested in short men. There is nothing you can do about your height, but there is plenty you can do about other issues I'd have with your profile. First and foremost, you should reconsider the distance you are prepared to travel. 15 miles is nothing. Secondly, maybe explain why you can't accommodate? As most people would assume it's because you're in a relationship/married. Oh how far would be a reasonable amount to travel? I can accommodate because I live with family, booking a hotel is no problem tho. I might have meet people in person to get verified. Only you can answer how far you'd be happy to travel. I/we don't want people travelling for more than 1h but as you're in London, that's just a few miles some days. You can get verified by going to an organised social or a club. Even if you don't get "lucky", the hosts would verify you if you ask. " If I get verified I wouldn't mind if I didn't get lucky lucky  But yeah I'll look into going to some events before the year is up. | |||
As a piece of advice don't rely solely on messages. Many messages go unread or are deleted for reasons the sender never knows. However if you use the chat rooms and forums to interact with people you might find that you are making connections that could lead to more.
Good luck | |||
taking notes | |||
"Hello OP, One slight prejudice that may be going against you However if you use the chat rooms and forums to interact with people you might find that you are making connections that could lead to more. Good luck "Thanks a bunch! And yeah I try my best to interact more on the forums and chat rooms. For my first time posting this has been a very positive experience. | |||
"Hello to those who haven’t met me, I guess this is my introduction to this forum, and I’m looking for some insight. So before I get into anything I want to say that I’m not bashing the site, I actually think this incredible platform with great tools to meet and contact all sorts of people and I love the community aspect of it. It is well thought out, that is why I came site in the first place. I have used this site very regularly for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been on this site before about a year or so ago but I didn’t understand the site so I left. But this time, I wanted to give the site a fair shake and I took the time to learn how it works, read through the forums, profiles and take advice from other members. and with all that I still feel very lost. I have found it very difficult to connect with anyone single female’s or couple’s here. Even though I have seemly done everything right, I’m essentially ignored. I have made sure my profile is at least presentable and that my opening messages are polite and not offensive (at least I hope not if so, I apologise). I do take to time to read profiles and write something for them but It feels like it doesn’t matter. Even if I was to write the perfect message to someone, or if my profile is was the best in the world, I still won’t get anywhere. It’s nothing but frustrating. And yes! I understand that ladies and couples can get a lot of messages but when my messages are there’s never been a conversation. Also, I don’t send dick pics (except that one time I was asked). If I’m not what people are looking for on this platform, that is perfectly fine. I would just like to know. Finally, I know that some new users don’t reply to advice or criticism, but I’m not one of those. I generally want help and understanding and I will respond when I can. Thank you, Robin" Hi robin Your profile not bad still an effort unlike most.so I suggest put out meets for a social in the meet section of the site remember their needs to be chemistry and a connection and this is a great way to start 
Good luck my friend | |||
" Hi robin Your profile not bad still an effort unlike most.so I suggest put out meets for a social in the meet section of the site remember their needs to be chemistry and a connection and this is a great way to start
Good luck my friend "Thanks for checking out my profile and for the encouragement I like the idea I'll make small meet up soon as | |||
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"Have you tried Waze... "I'm sorry but what is Waze?  | |||
"Have you tried Waze...
I'm sorry but what is Waze? "Hahaha Google it.... | |||
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"As others have said, attend a club, then use the site to stay in touch with people you meet at clubs - once you have verifications from meets at clubs, others will pay more attention too. If you rely on sending messages to people you've never met through the site, the odds are so stacked against men, you're on a hiding to nothing, and will be lucky to get 1-2 replies a month." Ah it all makes sense now! I always thought to myself like 'man it would be so much easier in person' while sending out some of these messages. Someone suggested I makes some meets also, which would be exciting. | |||
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"Well, I think success may well come given your good attitude in this thread. Two weeks is the blink of an eye, though. To me, a first message is something to be sent on the rare occasion you sense a huge connection, not just to someone in your area you fancy. I’ve been on here over ten years and probably send one to three messages per year to someone new to me. The guys who have success are the ones who see Fab as a community to get involved with e.g. contributing to forums on a range of subjects etc. They become valued members, whose character comes across well. I definitely think you are the type of person who could build a reputation as a decent, interesting guy. With patience, good things can definitely happen to guys. " That makes complete sense now! I guess someone can get a better sense of who you are and your personality through the forums and so on. Much more than any one message ever could. Thank you, what you just shared is really enlightening  | |||
I haven't read all the comments above but some really good advice like focussing on your profile and attending socials and clubs.
Also, forget about messaging for a while. Use your time to interact on the forums instead. There are lots of lovely ladies on here who want a guy with a bit of personality and integrity. Show your personality, be yourself and after a while you might start getting pm'd. Don't use the Forum to lick arse women!
So my top tips sre:
1. Have your profile top notch
2. Interact on the Forums
3. Attend clubs and socials
4. Try to get meet verified. Socials are advertised here and you don't need to be meet verified to attend some of them.
5. Have plenty of patience. It can take months to get yourself known
6. See the other guys as supports and not as competition. This is a massive mistake made by some guys here. It's not cool and ladies notice.
Good luck. Mrs | |||
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