FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > What makes a good opening message?
What makes a good opening message?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I understand that the ratio of men to women on here is overwhelming and women get hundreds or even over a thousand messages regularly, so what makes someone stand out in your inbox?
I know that you should never open with a 'hey', 'how are you' or something flat that doesn't give a chance to spark a conversation.
Normally I try to come up with an amusing subject based on what I see on their profile, or just default to 'eye-catching subject' and then mention two things that interested me about their profile (kinks, a particular picture, a well written bio, etc.) and then end with a question.
So what stands out to you/do you do to stand out when it comes to the first message? |
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Its always refreshing to get a message that shows theyve read your profile and when you see a pic is enclosed and think "oh another dick pic" but its a face pic instead!! Always guaranteed we will reply to these types of messages over most others!
You've covered all what we try to include when messaging first x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its always refreshing to get a message that shows theyve read your profile and when you see a pic is enclosed and think "oh another dick pic" but its a face pic instead!! Always guaranteed we will reply to these types of messages over most others!
You've covered all what we try to include when messaging first x"
Yeh but it’s shit when you take time to read a profile, then send a face pic with a nice message just to get ignored and then deleted without a simple reply. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Well given each individual person on this site and different opinions it's going to work differently for each but as for myself a little introduction doesn't have to be based on the site in general as we are all still human beings so can be anything as you are getting to know each other finding a connection building up chemistry but humour is good to |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
The long and short of it is that most couples and single girls aren't looking to expand their circle of contacts too much right now, knowing it could be another six months of "chat" before there's a chance of a meet. |
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"I understand that the ratio of men to women on here is overwhelming and women get hundreds or even over a thousand messages regularly, so what makes someone stand out in your inbox?
I know that you should never open with a 'hey', 'how are you' or something flat that doesn't give a chance to spark a conversation.
Normally I try to come up with an amusing subject based on what I see on their profile, or just default to 'eye-catching subject' and then mention two things that interested me about their profile (kinks, a particular picture, a well written bio, etc.) and then end with a question.
So what stands out to you/do you do to stand out when it comes to the first message? "
There is no one size fits all answer to that question.
Every person you write to is different and they will be looking for different things.
You will only know what they are looking for if you read their profiles, speak with them in the chatroom, or engage with them in some way on the forums. |
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By *amillMan
over a year ago
Warrington |
"Its always refreshing to get a message that shows theyve read your profile and when you see a pic is enclosed and think "oh another dick pic" but its a face pic instead!! Always guaranteed we will reply to these types of messages over most others!
You've covered all what we try to include when messaging first x
Yeh but it’s shit when you take time to read a profile, then send a face pic with a nice message just to get ignored and then deleted without a simple reply. "
As per the FAQs, no reply means not interested. Nobody is obliged to reply back to your message, whether that be a no thanks or whatever. Imagine how long it would take some people to type that back to every guy who messaged.
Your only looking at the message aspect in isolation, just because YOU think you’ve written a good message linked to their profile doesn’t mean they think you’re a good match for them. They need to be attracted to you too and they usually get this from your profile.
You will think it’s shit, if your expectation is that for every message you write to anyone on here deserves a reply. Change your expectations and you won’t be left feeling disappointed  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The long and short of it is that most couples and single girls aren't looking to expand their circle of contacts too much right now, knowing it could be another six months of "chat" before there's a chance of a meet."
That's a very good point, I hadn't considered it could be that long before we will be approaching normality again.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its always refreshing to get a message that shows theyve read your profile and when you see a pic is enclosed and think "oh another dick pic" but its a face pic instead!! Always guaranteed we will reply to these types of messages over most others!
You've covered all what we try to include when messaging first x"
That's good to hear, thanks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its always refreshing to get a message that shows theyve read your profile and when you see a pic is enclosed and think "oh another dick pic" but its a face pic instead!! Always guaranteed we will reply to these types of messages over most others!
You've covered all what we try to include when messaging first x
Yeh but it’s shit when you take time to read a profile, then send a face pic with a nice message just to get ignored and then deleted without a simple reply. "
Smile and move on |
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Agreed! If someone has taken the time and not just messaged "fancy a fuck"
We always take the time to message back even if just to say thanks for the message but not what were looking for at the minute.
Its nice to be nice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand that the ratio of men to women on here is overwhelming and women get hundreds or even over a thousand messages regularly, so what makes someone stand out in your inbox?
I know that you should never open with a 'hey', 'how are you' or something flat that doesn't give a chance to spark a conversation.
Normally I try to come up with an amusing subject based on what I see on their profile, or just default to 'eye-catching subject' and then mention two things that interested me about their profile (kinks, a particular picture, a well written bio, etc.) and then end with a question.
So what stands out to you/do you do to stand out when it comes to the first message? "
We put the subject as Donald trump, Boris Johnson or similar add exclamation marks and they 9 out of 10 times open it to see what were on about and then the first lines are sorry for the strange subject, however now we have your attention... It works pretty well, and combined with some photos of us, it never fails... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its always refreshing to get a message that shows theyve read your profile and when you see a pic is enclosed and think "oh another dick pic" but its a face pic instead!! Always guaranteed we will reply to these types of messages over most others!
You've covered all what we try to include when messaging first x
Yeh but it’s shit when you take time to read a profile, then send a face pic with a nice message just to get ignored and then deleted without a simple reply.
As per the FAQs, no reply means not interested. Nobody is obliged to reply back to your message, whether that be a no thanks or whatever. Imagine how long it would take some people to type that back to every guy who messaged.
Your only looking at the message aspect in isolation, just because YOU think you’ve written a good message linked to their profile doesn’t mean they think you’re a good match for them. They need to be attracted to you too and they usually get this from your profile.
You will think it’s shit, if your expectation is that for every message you write to anyone on here deserves a reply. Change your expectations and you won’t be left feeling disappointed "
Hero |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly some messages aren’t even one liners.. eg Yo! or Hey! ... an easy decision to delete. Please put some effort in.
Obviously not reading our profile... normally is a delete
No profile pic (not cock pics)... normally is a delete
Being 100+ miles away... normally a delete
A well structured message considering the above will often get a reply even if it’s a thanks but no thanks. |
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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago
Wiltshire and London |
"
As per the FAQs, no reply means not interested. Nobody is obliged to reply back to your message, whether that be a no thanks or whatever. Imagine how long it would take some people to type that back to every guy who messaged.
"
Isn't reading a message and then either not replying to say no thanks or not deleting it - to say the same without a message - just a bit thoughtless? |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Isn't reading a message and then either not replying to say no thanks or not deleting it - to say the same without a message - just a bit thoughtless?"
As a guys, you might get one or two unsolicited messages a day if you're lucky....easy to write an answer to. As a couple we can get thirty if we've just put up a new pic. A single woman can get a hundred sometimes. If we took two minutes to look at a profile and then reply to message, that's an hour each day and then add on the extra time dealing with the "why not?" messages that follow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its always refreshing to get a message that shows theyve read your profile and when you see a pic is enclosed and think "oh another dick pic" but its a face pic instead!! Always guaranteed we will reply to these types of messages over most others!
You've covered all what we try to include when messaging first x
Yeh but it’s shit when you take time to read a profile, then send a face pic with a nice message just to get ignored and then deleted without a simple reply. "
|
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"I understand that the ratio of men to women on here is overwhelming and women get hundreds or even over a thousand messages regularly, so what makes someone stand out in your inbox?
I know that you should never open with a 'hey', 'how are you' or something flat that doesn't give a chance to spark a conversation.
Normally I try to come up with an amusing subject based on what I see on their profile, or just default to 'eye-catching subject' and then mention two things that interested me about their profile (kinks, a particular picture, a well written bio, etc.) and then end with a question.
So what stands out to you/do you do to stand out when it comes to the first message? "
We started to more regularly open our filter to include men and it is virtual cascade of hi, how are you, what do you want or very occasionally worse olus unsolicited friends requests.
.we do reply to message that demonstrate they have made an effort, but now delete the others.
But for us the message needs to demonstrate they have read our profile. Also profile needs to contain something about themselves, pics (a cock is a cock even if the angle changes slightly) and some veri's. |
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