FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Am I doing something wrong
Am I doing something wrong
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
Hey guys and girls,
Been on here a while now and don’t seem to be having any luck? Messaged people, it either doesn’t get read at all or just gets deleted, most people will only meet people that have verifications, how can I get these if I can’t get any meets? I’m from the Midlands, up for trying anything, totally discreet and just a young fit lad looking to explore the swinging world and have lots of fun along the way but just doesn’t seem to be going my way??
I really want to have some fun and give others a good time, help me?
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"Most read a profile before deciding whether to respond to a message... Do you send a face pic with messages? Nobody will request pics, except guys. "
To be honest I don’t normally no, not massively confident in how I look, reckon that could be something to do with not having much luck? |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"Without a face photo ,I doubt anyone will respond , would you ? "
True, what about attaching them to messages? Don’t think I’ll ever get anyone message me first on here even with a face photo ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most read a profile before deciding whether to respond to a message... Do you send a face pic with messages? Nobody will request pics, except guys.
To be honest I don’t normally no, not massively confident in how I look, reckon that could be something to do with not having much luck?"
I don't respond without seeing a face pic, or with one one their profile and delete unread... How would I know if I fancied someone? When I am meeting, that is |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"Most read a profile before deciding whether to respond to a message... Do you send a face pic with messages? Nobody will request pics, except guys.
To be honest I don’t normally no, not massively confident in how I look, reckon that could be something to do with not having much luck?
I don't respond without seeing a face pic, or with one one their profile and delete unread... How would I know if I fancied someone? When I am meeting, that is "
Very true! |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"I think most people are not looking to meet at the moment, so that will also affect you."
Haven’t had any luck at all, even before COVID, had about 2 profiles reply once to a message then the conversation dies either way, don’t know if it’s me or what? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
The clue is in your lack of profile OP. Don't change it if it truly reflects who you are and what you are looking for. If you do, it's almost like false advertising. There's general advice on mine should you wish to use it. Good luck. Xx |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"I’d usually say try the clubs but no Chance of that atm, you definitely need to have pics available or send with messages. "
I’ve thought about that but have absolutely no idea how the clubs work and the etiquette, don’t want to go in there and make a complete tit of myself or get thrown out because I didn’t understand how it works or whatever, and seems to be impossible to find couples/singles that will for want of a better description “hold my hand and guide me” obviously at the moment it’s not do able, but I haven’t got a clue how clubs work etc, thanks for the advice though, I will start sending pics with messsges from now on see if I get much luck, doubt it, far better looking guys on here than me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder , everyone has a different view on what is attractive, putting yourself down ain’t an attractive trait , you need to sell yourself , think of this as an advert for you , if your negative, you won’t get much luck , |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"I'm sorry OP, I won't verify what is effectively a blank profile. You could have asked someone to do this on your thread.  "
Sorry I meant via cam or assisting with doing the profile up to enable verifications , anyone else on the thread up for assisting as that seems the biggest issue at the moment for even conversation starters by not having verifications which understandably people look for and rightly so! |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder , everyone has a different view on what is attractive, putting yourself down ain’t an attractive trait , you need to sell yourself , think of this as an advert for you , if your negative, you won’t get much luck , "
True, thanks for that! Never been good at selling myself haha, probably why I went for the job I’m in now |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I'm sorry OP, I won't verify what is effectively a blank profile. You could have asked someone to do this on your thread.
Sorry I meant via cam or assisting with doing the profile up to enable verifications , anyone else on the thread up for assisting as that seems the biggest issue at the moment for even conversation starters by not having verifications which understandably people look for and rightly so!"
You've been given advice you need to act on it and not try to get others to do it for you. Effort in means rewards out. It would seem you don't want to put any in. |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"I'm sorry OP, I won't verify what is effectively a blank profile. You could have asked someone to do this on your thread.
Sorry I meant via cam or assisting with doing the profile up to enable verifications , anyone else on the thread up for assisting as that seems the biggest issue at the moment for even conversation starters by not having verifications which understandably people look for and rightly so!
You've been given advice you need to act on it and not try to get others to do it for you. Effort in means rewards out. It would seem you don't want to put any in. "
I’m just a little unsure? Sorry if I’ve given you the wrong idea? Just a bit demoralised that I haven’t had any luck at all on here, just looking for advice to assist my chances going forward I wasn’t suggesting other people do the work for me, I’m sorry if it came across that way but that was defiantly not my intention |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"Hey guys and girls,
Been on here a while now and don’t seem to be having any luck? Messaged people, it either doesn’t get read at all or just gets deleted, most people will only meet people that have verifications, how can I get these if I can’t get any meets? I’m from the Midlands, up for trying anything, totally discreet and just a young fit lad looking to explore the swinging world and have lots of fun along the way but just doesn’t seem to be going my way??
I really want to have some fun and give others a good time, help me?
"
you don't need to put fit, clean etc but a body shot photo, no need for a cock shot, partially clothed is a good idea, it would give people a chance to see how you look |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"Hey guys and girls,
Been on here a while now and don’t seem to be having any luck? Messaged people, it either doesn’t get read at all or just gets deleted, most people will only meet people that have verifications, how can I get these if I can’t get any meets? I’m from the Midlands, up for trying anything, totally discreet and just a young fit lad looking to explore the swinging world and have lots of fun along the way but just doesn’t seem to be going my way??
I really want to have some fun and give others a good time, help me?
you don't need to put fit, clean etc but a body shot photo, no need for a cock shot, partially clothed is a good idea, it would give people a chance to see how you look "
Okay I’ll sort that on the weekend when I’m back home, thank you for your advice, it is appreciated  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can well understand your situation as similar. I have difficulty sending face pic to a stranger (female) initially while I have sent numerous polite messages consequently no replies. As for clubs walking in alone can be daunting I have found that the established regulars all know each other and it can be hard to mix. However I did meet a really lovely couple from Edinburgh in CJs some time ago and another in RVC. In general as a single male the M to F ratio is huge. As someone else said it's all about marketing yourself. The pool is small but the competition is fierce. I empathise with you rejection is hard and it's tough as you seem a nice person like me who just wants fun with like minded females and getting meets is hard. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I'm sorry OP, I won't verify what is effectively a blank profile. You could have asked someone to do this on your thread.
Sorry I meant via cam or assisting with doing the profile up to enable verifications , anyone else on the thread up for assisting as that seems the biggest issue at the moment for even conversation starters by not having verifications which understandably people look for and rightly so!
You've been given advice you need to act on it and not try to get others to do it for you. Effort in means rewards out. It would seem you don't want to put any in.
I’m just a little unsure? Sorry if I’ve given you the wrong idea? Just a bit demoralised that I haven’t had any luck at all on here, just looking for advice to assist my chances going forward I wasn’t suggesting other people do the work for me, I’m sorry if it came across that way but that was defiantly not my intention"
Have you read the advice that others have given on this thread, there's plenty on my profile too. If you act on it you may have more luck. The very first thing I saw when you messaged was no avatar, I don't get any further than that and wouldn't engage how ever good the message was. My point being that a profile pic will draw the eye towards the rest of your profile. Think of it as your shop window if that makes sense. Some people will also have message filters on which will block profiles with no pic as well. I hope this helps you. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Oh, and maybe check out some profiles of successful guys on here, they often have great pics if you need ideas. On the plus side, you are responding to people on this thread, so well done on that score.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most read a profile before deciding whether to respond to a message... Do you send a face pic with messages? Nobody will request pics, except guys.
To be honest I don’t normally no, not massively confident in how I look, reckon that could be something to do with not having much luck?"
Found the problem. Doesn't sound like you're very good at selling yourself... |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"You don't necessarily need a face pic as a profile pic but any pics is better than nothing. "
Thanks for that, all good suggestions, I was going to message you but I’m a year out of your age range |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Get used to mate..its only normal women here want models 6pack and all that...but not everyone is like that..keep pacient..
Utter rubbish.  yeah the truth usually is..  "
It's not the truth in your case. Negativity is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d usually say try the clubs but no Chance of that atm, you definitely need to have pics available or send with messages.
I’ve thought about that but have absolutely no idea how the clubs work and the etiquette, don’t want to go in there and make a complete tit of myself or get thrown out because I didn’t understand how it works or whatever, and seems to be impossible to find couples/singles that will for want of a better description “hold my hand and guide me” obviously at the moment it’s not do able, but I haven’t got a clue how clubs work etc, thanks for the advice though, I will start sending pics with messsges from now on see if I get much luck, doubt it, far better looking guys on here than me "
When the club's reopen look to attend a social event first, don't be afraid to chat as everyone in my experience are there for the same reason you are. as for the rules it's just common sense, be respectful at all times,if a private room is locked don't knock on the door, if. There are lines in place at an open room don't enter without permission,never touch without permission and alwaysremember no means no. The bar area and jacuzzi are great and you will relax and be chatting away in no time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d usually say try the clubs but no Chance of that atm, you definitely need to have pics available or send with messages.
I’ve thought about that but have absolutely no idea how the clubs work and the etiquette, don’t want to go in there and make a complete tit of myself or get thrown out because I didn’t understand how it works or whatever, and seems to be impossible to find couples/singles that will for want of a better description “hold my hand and guide me” obviously at the moment it’s not do able, but I haven’t got a clue how clubs work etc, thanks for the advice though, I will start sending pics with messsges from now on see if I get much luck, doubt it, far better looking guys on here than me
When the club's reopen look to attend a social event first, don't be afraid to chat as everyone in my experience are there for the same reason you are. as for the rules it's just common sense, be respectful at all times,if a private room is locked don't knock on the door, if. There are lines in place at an open room don't enter without permission,never touch without permission and alwaysremember no means no. The bar area and jacuzzi are great and you will relax and be chatting away in no time. "
And my advice is go it alone like I did, go with the attitude that it's just a night out with no expectations and if anything happens it a bonus. |
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To be honest, on the strength of your profile I wouldn't reply. That's not me being horrible, but in a world of thousands of single guys it doesn't stand out. It also gives the impression that you'd do anything or anyone which doesn't make anyone feel very good. Also like others have said, you need a couple of pics. Even just a general clothed body shot is better than nothing.
Finally, even if you have little confidence you need to try blag it a bit!! As a single female on here (and in my circle of fab friends) it's my experience that not many want to hold a guys hand.
Happy to help you with your profile if you want to inbox me x |
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By *L3001 OP Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"To be honest, on the strength of your profile I wouldn't reply. That's not me being horrible, but in a world of thousands of single guys it doesn't stand out. It also gives the impression that you'd do anything or anyone which doesn't make anyone feel very good. Also like others have said, you need a couple of pics. Even just a general clothed body shot is better than nothing.
Finally, even if you have little confidence you need to try blag it a bit!! As a single female on here (and in my circle of fab friends) it's my experience that not many want to hold a guys hand.
Happy to help you with your profile if you want to inbox me x"
I’ve messaged you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in the same boat, so empathise with you. I joined here with a lot of excitement and nervousness about doing something new and risqué and it's just been so boring! Lockdown hasn't helped, but I think a lot of women get so bombarded with messages that they either don't read them or have a huge list of wants like 'only 12 inches'! My girlfriend got some really vulgar messages when she joined and had to block men altogether, so I don't blame women; it's a minority of men who spoil it for everyone else. Hopefully after lockdown, more people will want to meet up and have some fun. Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in the same boat, so empathise with you. I joined here with a lot of excitement and nervousness about doing something new and risqué and it's just been so boring! Lockdown hasn't helped, but I think a lot of women get so bombarded with messages that they either don't read them or have a huge list of wants like 'only 12 inches'! My girlfriend got some really vulgar messages when she joined and had to block men altogether, so I don't blame women; it's a minority of men who spoil it for everyone else. Hopefully after lockdown, more people will want to meet up and have some fun. Good luck! "
Really? I have a hard time believing you're having trouble  |
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Me personally like most women look at the profile before responding to a message. If there’s no profile pic and no public pics I’ll just delete without reading. Your profile is basically selling you. I do look for profiles and when I do message anyone I’ll attach a face pic too xx |
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Could we see an example of a message you send to initiate contact? A lot of guys let themselves down with that without realising it. I strongly advise you to get feedback on your messages as well as your profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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women tend to get about 300 messages a week ahah. having atleast one photo of your face or sending it with a message will help. i imagine they will see the blank profile and just delete. even when you have photos its a lot harder for men. the ratio of men and women is crazy. for every single woman there is about 15 single males ahah. males have to really stick out to get attention sadly. keep at it and be your self if people dont like that its there problem |
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There’s got to be at least one of these exact same posts every week. Guys seem to waltz on here having heard about this site ‘women up for anything, meets at the drop of a hat’ and just don’t take time to learn any of the etiquette that goes with it. The messages are just like bad Tinder, constantly.
1. Get some photos up, pref not if you dick from various angles. Nobody cares.
2. Put some thought into your bio. Women actually read this even if men can’t be arsed.
3. Personalise your messages and take time to write something interesting. NOBODY wants yet another ‘how’s fab treating you?’, ‘how’s lockdown treating you?’ Or ‘want to watch me play on cam. They’re bullshit messages and don’t make anyone feel like you’re worth having any time spent on you.
4. No means no. And so does delete/no reply. Do not harass anyone with pathetic follow up Messages like ‘guess I’m not your type lol’ or your gone quiet’. Just take the hint and move along. Similarly, check a profile and see if you’ve been in contact before. If you have sent a message previously and not received a reply, roll along. The follow ups and pushy messages from guys on here actually make me worry for the safety of women when some of these guys are out in pubs, don’t be like these guys.
5. Respect people’s preferences. I ALWAYS get messages from guys saying ‘thought I’d chance my luck’ and it makes me so angry. It’s basically saying ‘fuck what you want, cos I fancy a bit of that’ and it’s ignorant. Even if you’re a year out, move on by. You are not what they’re looking for.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not getting no were on this site "
Try putting some effort into your profile, I'm nothing special but had a couple of meets because I took the time to send well thought out personal messages. And no it's not rude if a lady doesn't reply. Could you spare the time to reply to the hundreds of messages they probably get? We probably outnumber the ladies 20/1 so you just need to be patient. |
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"There’s got to be at least one of these exact same posts every week. Guys seem to waltz on here having heard about this site ‘women up for anything, meets at the drop of a hat’ and just don’t take time to learn any of the etiquette that goes with it. The messages are just like bad Tinder, constantly.
1. Get some photos up, pref not if you dick from various angles. Nobody cares.
2. Put some thought into your bio. Women actually read this even if men can’t be arsed.
3. Personalise your messages and take time to write something interesting. NOBODY wants yet another ‘how’s fab treating you?’, ‘how’s lockdown treating you?’ Or ‘want to watch me play on cam. They’re bullshit messages and don’t make anyone feel like you’re worth having any time spent on you.
4. No means no. And so does delete/no reply. Do not harass anyone with pathetic follow up Messages like ‘guess I’m not your type lol’ or your gone quiet’. Just take the hint and move along. Similarly, check a profile and see if you’ve been in contact before. If you have sent a message previously and not received a reply, roll along. The follow ups and pushy messages from guys on here actually make me worry for the safety of women when some of these guys are out in pubs, don’t be like these guys.
5. Respect people’s preferences. I ALWAYS get messages from guys saying ‘thought I’d chance my luck’ and it makes me so angry. It’s basically saying ‘fuck what you want, cos I fancy a bit of that’ and it’s ignorant. Even if you’re a year out, move on by. You are not what they’re looking for.
"
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