"I read every profile advice thread in this subforum.
I'm always pleased to see people asking for feedback, and it's nice to see so many users attempt to help them.
I'm not always as impressed with the quality of the "help", though.
"You need better pictures."
Great! What do "better pictures" look like, though?
"You need to stand out."
Well, obviously. But how? If they knew, they wouldn't need to ask.
"I wouldn't contact you based on your profile."
Absolutely fine. *Why*, though? If they don't know what's wrong, they can't improve.
There are other things like this, but those are the three that come to mind right now.
I don't pretend for a moment to have the answers to these questions, but I'm hoping that people smarter than I am might have.
Yes, there are too many newcomers who are given good advice, and then either don't act upon it, or are knobs about receiving the help they said they wanted. It's frustrating. However, I'm thinking of those who ask in good faith, but are clearly struggling with the specificity of what they're told."
This is a great question, especially for those like me who do give ‘profile advice’ and agree some can be vague.
I often will advise that they are fading into the background and be more unique, what sort of advice is that ?
In my defence I would expect anyone who has spent some time, even a few months and not got any interest to do some research or play around with their profile a bit. For example I went on a dating app, when I first got divorced, some interest but not as much as I was hoping, so I did a google search and read a few articles on how to make me stand out more. New pictures and a better write up and my matches improved on that site.
So for me, anyone taking this site seriously and quite a few don’t, will chop and change their profile until it starts to garner some interest.
My advice has changed over time now, I’m more critical to see if they do make an attempt, then if advice is taken I’ll help further, not telling them what to write but encourage more and hopefully those who would be a great addition to the site, are encouraged to stay and be a part of the community, but those who are just chancers and can’t be bothered will soon get tired and go.
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