FabSwingers.com > Forums > Site help > Messaging etiquette - just an idea
Messaging etiquette - just an idea
Jump to: Newest in thread
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
"Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent. So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes. Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply. It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me. ... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"If you message a person who hasn't responded you get a warning. " What does it say? As I’ve never done this | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too. "In faqs - There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages! It's not rude not to reply. Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here? That is the sites own stance. Speaking from personal experience I don’t reply to everyone because A I don’t have that much time some women get 100’s of messages a day B very often as a single female when you do reply a polite “no thanks not for me” the next message you get is either then trying to persuade you to change your mind (which is an instant turn off for many women cos if you won’t take a no here we can’t trust you to take a no in a situation where our safety is even more vulnerable!) or quite often insulting and possibly even abusive (abusive messages I do report! But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened) There are very good reasons why many women don’t reply to EVERY message we get. You are not ENTITLED to a reply no matter how great your message was. Again personally I check profile (in stealth Mode) before I even open messages. If the profile doesn’t appeal I delete the message without reading. Site managers this response pretty perfectly illustrates the issue for women I feel. Certain fab users thinking they are owed a reply. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"If you message a person who hasn't responded you get a warning. What does it say? As I’ve never done this " I can't remember. I'm happy for you to message us twice without response if it helps  | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"Hi all I send a nice message and the bulk of the time don't get a reply as i may not be their type ect it would be nice to have a polite no thank you not what im looking for or along the lines of or easier still just block then in the future if say i click on your profile it says blocked it saves a lot of time " I think if you are a site supporter. Once you click a persons profile. It will tell you whether you have messaged them and also if they have messaged you. So no real need to put a block in place. As the poster above posted. No response or a delete of a message should be taken as a no thanks. Women and couples can and do sometimes recieve so many messages a day that they wouldn't be able to respond to all of them even if they wanted to. And yes I know what reply I will get back to that. "Well if they can delete individual messages then they can click a no reply button" But that may not be the case. They may chose to hit a blanket "delete all" Which saves time and frees up the inbox. The best option here is take a delete or no reply as a no thanks. Again like the poster previous. Does everyone feel the need to answer and have a long drawn out conversation with a cold caller? Cause I for one know I rarely answer them at all and if I do by mistake. I quickly put the phone down without saying a word. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too. "Do you realise if you reply and then reset your filters anyone you have previously replied to is not blocked? This is why I don't reply to everyone who messages me. If I want to block single males in the future I want the filter to work. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"If you message a person who hasn't responded you get a warning. What does it say? As I’ve never done this " It starts with a red and yellow stop sign then says " STOP. THINK. You've already sent (insert name here) a message and not received a reply back. If someone doesn't reply, it's not rude, it just means they're not interested. You're better off messaging people who you haven't contacted already. PS. Because some women and couples get hundreds of mails each day, we take a dim view of anyone harassing those who don't reply." | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"If you message a person who hasn't responded you get a warning. What does it say? As I’ve never done this It starts with a red and yellow stop sign then says " STOP. THINK. You've already sent (insert name here) a message and not received a reply back. If someone doesn't reply, it's not rude, it just means they're not interested. You're better off messaging people who you haven't contacted already. PS. Because some women and couples get hundreds of mails each day, we take a dim view of anyone harassing those who don't reply."" Thank you for that info. That makes me think even more so if person A has messaged person B once already they should be blocked from messaging again unless/until person B replies. That seems a pretty clear message to me to pestering messagers which makes me even more annoyed at the people who message me more than once when I’ve deleted and not replied to their previous messages. Think I may change my current 3 strikes rule to a 2 strikes one. The arrogance is astounding! | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"https://www.fabswingers.com/my/filters You can set your filters to stop newbies from mailing you" I have to say as someone who’s been on fab a good while I think newbies should be defined as those who’ve joined in last month not just a week as is the case just now. I have newbies blocked. I know I could also block the unverified but I also know how hard it is for guys to get veris on here and I have met unverified people and it’s gone well. Certainly recently (I’m guessing New Years resolution fuelled) the number of what I consider newbies (joined in last month) who are messaging me with rubbish profiles and boring messages has increased so there are even more messages than usual to delete. That will ease off at end of jan I’m sure | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"The block button is another tool to use if you don't want people to mail you a second time "Yea as I’ve said here and elsewhere on forums I generally have a 3 strikes rule. Now I know they get told they’ve already messaged me and I haven’t replied And “STOP THINK” etc I’m going to institute a personal 2 strikes rule. I’m not interested in people who cannot respect personal boundaries and site etiquette and frankly the word no! | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"Hi all I send a nice message and the bulk of the time don't get a reply as i may not be their type ect it would be nice to have a polite no thank you not what im looking for or along the lines of or easier still just block then in the future if say i click on your profile it says blocked it saves a lot of time I think if you are a site supporter. Once you click a persons profile. It will tell you whether you have messaged them and also if they have messaged you. So no real need to put a block in place. As the poster above posted. No response or a delete of a message should be taken as a no thanks. Women and couples can and do sometimes recieve so many messages a day that they wouldn't be able to respond to all of them even if they wanted to. And yes I know what reply I will get back to that. "Well if they can delete individual messages then they can click a no reply button" But that may not be the case. They may chose to hit a blanket "delete all" Which saves time and frees up the inbox. The best option here is take a delete or no reply as a no thanks. Again like the poster previous. Does everyone feel the need to answer and have a long drawn out conversation with a cold caller? Cause I for one know I rarely answer them at all and if I do by mistake. I quickly put the phone down without saying a word. " I always reply to a message even with a polite no thanks then i block if they message again the majority dont but to be honest even though im bi all the messages are from guys lol | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too. "You should familiarise yourself with the site FAQs where this is covered. Site owners themselves say that it is not rude not to reply and should be taken as a 'No, thank you' | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"“Polite messages deserve a polite reply.“ Why? Genuine question I’d like to see a well considered argument for this which I’ve yet to. Just as if a cold caller phones me I’m not obligated to answer the phone or reply to marketing emails etc " So telling. No wonder society has so much ingrained disrespect. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too.
You should familiarise yourself with the site FAQs where this is covered. Site owners themselves say that it is not rude not to reply and should be taken as a 'No, thank you'"So site owners say it's ok to be ignorant. Basically points to this site being quite anti men .. dare I say wokeish .. it's ok guys you can take the shit experience and ignorance on the chin as long as the womenfolk feel 'fabulous' .. lol. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too.
You should familiarise yourself with the site FAQs where this is covered. Site owners themselves say that it is not rude not to reply and should be taken as a 'No, thank you'
So site owners say it's ok to be ignorant. Basically points to this site being quite anti men .. dare I say wokeish .. it's ok guys you can take the shit experience and ignorance on the chin as long as the womenfolk feel 'fabulous' .. lol. "Do you reply to every spam e-mail you get? I doubt it so why should we be expected to reply to every message we get? And as I stated before it screws up the filters if I reply to every message. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"“Polite messages deserve a polite reply.“ " No one is entitled to a reply. No reply means no thanks. I actually think it’s rude that people send unsolicited messages when they either: 1. Haven’t bothered to read my profile at all (which is often clear from the message they send) 2. Have read my profile, clearly don’t fit what I’m looking for and then still message anyways | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"If you message a person who hasn't responded you get a warning. " Wow I didn’t know this! Makes it even worse that they still message when they have been warned  | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too.
You should familiarise yourself with the site FAQs where this is covered. Site owners themselves say that it is not rude not to reply and should be taken as a 'No, thank you'
So site owners say it's ok to be ignorant. Basically points to this site being quite anti men .. dare I say wokeish .. it's ok guys you can take the shit experience and ignorance on the chin as long as the womenfolk feel 'fabulous' .. lol. "Well, if you actually read the FAQ's it's all explained. Basically there are some users who get inumdated with messages, more than they can cope with. For example, there's someone I know on here in vanilla life who had 6,000 messages in her inbox. Can you explain how she is possibly supposed to answer all of those with a no, thanks. And would you really feel any better receiving such a message. A lit of women and coupkes have reported, over the years, that when they have sent a polite reply, that isn't the end of it, often either questioned why not, or worse, they get a load of abuse. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"“Polite messages deserve a polite reply.“ No one is entitled to a reply. No reply means no thanks. I actually think it’s rude that people send unsolicited messages when they either: 1. Haven’t bothered to read my profile at all (which is often clear from the message they send) 2. Have read my profile, clearly don’t fit what I’m looking for and then still message anyways " This with bells on! I’ve had several messages today alone where it’s clear they have read the bio but think I’ll make an exception to my clearly set boundaries just for them | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"If you message a person who hasn't responded you get a warning. Wow I didn’t know this! Makes it even worse that they still message when they have been warned "I agree I’m now changing to a 2 strikes rule as a result of learning this. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too.
You should familiarise yourself with the site FAQs where this is covered. Site owners themselves say that it is not rude not to reply and should be taken as a 'No, thank you'
So site owners say it's ok to be ignorant. Basically points to this site being quite anti men .. dare I say wokeish .. it's ok guys you can take the shit experience and ignorance on the chin as long as the womenfolk feel 'fabulous' .. lol.
Well, if you actually read the FAQ's it's all explained.
Basically there are some users who get inumdated with messages, more than they can cope with.
For example, there's someone I know on here in vanilla life who had 6,000 messages in her inbox.
Can you explain how she is possibly supposed to answer all of those with a no, thanks.
And would you really feel any better receiving such a message.
A lit of women and coupkes have reported, over the years, that when they have sent a polite reply, that isn't the end of it, often either questioned why not, or worse, they get a load of abuse.
"Yes to if you do reply it somehow spurs the worst ones on! | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude." No, it's not. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too.
You should familiarise yourself with the site FAQs where this is covered. Site owners themselves say that it is not rude not to reply and should be taken as a 'No, thank you'
So site owners say it's ok to be ignorant. Basically points to this site being quite anti men .. dare I say wokeish .. it's ok guys you can take the shit experience and ignorance on the chin as long as the womenfolk feel 'fabulous' .. lol. "Off you go then, go and "deserve" messages elsewhere. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"A topic that comes up frequently in the forums and as discussion with other fabbers ime is people (admittedly usually single males) being…persistent when they have messaged another fabber (usually a woman) and not received a reply. Some think they are entitled to a reply and if they don’t get one they message again… and again and again
It’s mainly newbies that do this.
Can site admins please consider adding in to the screens when people join a large banner saying something like
“No reply to a message usually means not interested. Please do not pester with repeated messaging”
Or even - an idea that’s just occurred to me, is there a way that it could be set so if person A sends a message person B doesn’t reply that person A is blocked from messaging them again unless person B then sends a reply? I’m sure more IT proficient people than me will know if this is possible.
Not replying to a courteous polite relevant funny interesting hello is rude. If someone says hello to me I always reply hello... If the ask is whether we are compatable then to say a polite thanks but no thanks is perfectly polite and adequate and should be the norm here is as it is in non fab life. To delete with no be reply is not the "rule", it is rude and ignorant. Everybody knows this. I have had to leave countless private notes to that effect on profiles that are rude to my nicely worded polite hellos just so that I don't waste my time, because when pictures change and if they don't reply then the message you sent isn't easily found a few weeks later when they have changed their username or profile picture. It's not at all apparent.
So I think we need to ditch this ignorant 'rule' from this site that causes so much problems and bad feeling among non white knight blokes.
Rude messages just block them, simple. Polite messages deserve a polite reply.
It amazing sometimes when you do engage with some very popular ladies who will have thousands of messages yet they have decided to be polite and reply, which is so appreciated and regardless of the outcome always gets a polite reply back from me.
... so for the majority of rude ignorant people who don't reply and just delete, if nice folks can find the time for a quick hello back by then im sure you can too.
You should familiarise yourself with the site FAQs where this is covered. Site owners themselves say that it is not rude not to reply and should be taken as a 'No, thank you'
So site owners say it's ok to be ignorant. Basically points to this site being quite anti men .. dare I say wokeish .. it's ok guys you can take the shit experience and ignorance on the chin as long as the womenfolk feel 'fabulous' .. lol.
Well, if you actually read the FAQ's it's all explained.
Basically there are some users who get inumdated with messages, more than they can cope with.
For example, there's someone I know on here in vanilla life who had 6,000 messages in her inbox.
Can you explain how she is possibly supposed to answer all of those with a no, thanks.
And would you really feel any better receiving such a message.
A lit of women and coupkes have reported, over the years, that when they have sent a polite reply, that isn't the end of it, often either questioned why not, or worse, they get a load of abuse.
Yes to if you do reply it somehow spurs the worst ones on! "This. My inbox is not the busiest on the site so when someone who was not my chosen flavour responded I sent a polite, sorry not my thing message and was then bombarded with, but I am local, try it you might like it, yada yada yada. 6 messages. Blocked. Ladies, you have my deepest sympathy and ignoring those who hold no interest saves a lot of grief. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
