FabSwingers.com > Forums > Games > Doris & Ethel's Adventures #11
Doris & Ethel's Adventures #11
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Continuing the never ending story of Doris and Ethel and Dave and friends....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Our story begins with our heroes in South America looking for the lost treasure of The Stinkas, an ancient civilisation known for their gold and their flatulence.
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Ethel and Doris were cooking spaghetti while David was dancing to whitney Houston... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Look Doris ! Said Ethel, coming out of the rain forest, it's... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So they made a big pot of pasta but before they could eat a giant eagle swooped down and stole Dave's |
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I like sucking on spaghetti said Doris.
Not the only thing you like sucking said Ethel.
Dave had a grin.
Ladies we must head on… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To Eldorado! |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Back to England where we can go |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Eat strawberries and |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dave's special cream. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Its like potatoe water Doris laughed |
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Talking of water I need to use the loo.
Where’s the nearest one said Ethel?
Dave replied… |
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Yikes!!!
I better find the nearest bush I’ll never make it.
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So with her knickers round her ankles she proceeded to |
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While the donkey's head was boiling in tequila and turnip she asked Doris to try and pull out some of the pricks from her bum which she had got whilst weeing in the cactus patch. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
But doris said I'm shy ask... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Bradley Walsh who suddenly escaped from the last thread. Bradley used tweezers on the little pricks which came out in |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And gave Bradley a nasty rash. Ethel told Dave to put some of his special hand cream on but Dave didn't hear properly and used |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Tomato sauce when he saw what he had done he stated to scream like the cat called jolly
Jolly was soooooo cute they all... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wanted to stroke that pussy but Jolly wasn't very Jolly and scratched Doris on the |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Her wig to fall off onto the floor. Jolly thought it was a femalr cat and started to shag it so Ethel poked Jolly with |
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Her walking stick.
The cat ran away but it was too late he’d made a mess in her wig.
Eww… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The smell was so bad that our heroes decided they needed a holiday so Doris, Ethel and Dave got on a plane to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Found it was early day closing so they returned to Australia and sat on Bondai Beach with a pina colada each and a |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Naomi Campbell appeared wearing a |
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Miss Piggy outfit.
Kermit was beside her but who was in it?? |
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Ghost.
Kermit floated away into space.
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Then naomi Campbell started to |
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Bloat out and before anything was said she too floated up to space never to be seen again.
Right said Ethel this place is weird I want to go home.
So… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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They chartered a hot air balloon to take them back to England. Unfortunately a hurricane over the Indian Ocean picked them up and dropped them in |
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The South Pole.
Oh Ethel we’re going to freeze to death said Doris.
Could do with a cuppa tea and scone.
Dave help us… |
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On your ears.
I’ll build an igloo said Dave.
Let’s make a snowman said Ethel. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So the igloo filled up with sweet smelling wind which reminded Ethel of |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And pile cream. She got very nostalgic and wished she was back home in |
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The care home they both got kicked out of because they were smoking .
Never.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Meat ! I want meat ! Said Dave. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Doris, a big fat juicy steak in your gob. Do you like it rare or |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Doris, a big fat juicy steak in your gob. Do you like it rare or"
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Doris, a big fat juicy steak in your gob. Do you like it rare or"
Or with smegma |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh said Ethel, is that the fancy new relish I've heard about ? Could you ask Dave to put a spoonful on my |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Craddock recipe book ? It's very old but lots of men like to look at it and have a taste of |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Which looked like Groucho Marx and tasted of cheese and eggs and |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Looked like the surprise look in came Christopher biggins waddling in singing surprise surprise the unexpected hits you between the |
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Legs
I’m off now ….it was only a quick visit |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
But I will be back with
Bet lynch and..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A Chinese takeaway and a canoe. Then we can paddle off to |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Coronation street and play |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tickle the bum hole. Oh no said Doris, I prefer a game of cribbage, whist or naked |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
With Mavis who can say good derek I don't really know
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What the f you're saying, speak up Derek ! But Derek couldn't speak as Ethel had filled his mouth with |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So when he shut his mouth we never heard from him again. Meanwhile back in the Indian Ocean... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
The fish began to sing... |
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Baby shark…
Oh no not that again.
Let’s go back to England I’m missing the weather. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
And the fish and chips |
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So they hitched a ride in a yellow submarine.
Which took them all the way back to Southampton.
Now they needed to get to London.
Lets… |
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[Removed by poster at 27/08/21 07:14:50] |
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I’ll call my friend Richard Branson I’m sure he can help.
Isn’t he a virgin said Ethel.
You silly cow he owns a company called Virgin said Doris. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And he's also got a big rocket and he'll give you a ride if you like. He could take us all to |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
The south pole so we can |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Get frozen bums and slide down the glaciers. I'd like to meet a real snowman and see if he has a frozen |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Of lamb he could sell me. They were now all cold and hungry at the South Pole when suddenly Doris spotted a |
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And where ever it pointed that’s where you were going.
Dave you throw it preferably somewhere warm,our bodies can’t stand this cold.
Fingers crossed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And it pointed towards Ibiza ! Yaay, rave on said Doris and they all got aboard the flying carpet and set off for the Balearics.  |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Only to be met by john the person |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Who lived in a cave by the beach and sold tea towels with a print of Donald Trumps bumhole on them. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Which stabilizes the whole body |
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John offered them a drink then started to show them his porn collection |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
But they were not interested so went to..
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Find the nearest cocktail bar with some decent music on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Which included Pork scratching, caviar and vegetarian cock. Doris had some of each while Ethel just had a few salted nuts which made her |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Turn into a frog called groggy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So she hopped into Dave's pocket and started jumping up and down. Doris said, well Dave, you're pleased to see me today, would you like me to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dave thought she said, but actually it was, Ring You a taxi to take you to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He thought she said but actually she said, the trimmer, to get a haircut and a |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He thought she said, but actually she said, Grim job, as she wanted him to bury her pet gerbil who'd died while stuck in |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Vladimirs arsehole |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He thought she said but actually she's said, Vladimir's last hole, as she wanted him to play golf in Russia. Dave got pissed off with misunderstanding everything and went off to see |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Who was appearing as a Ghost at the London Palladium. She'd told Dave to come up and see her some time so he put on his |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Gold wig and matching... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Mask of leoblooms we all will be leoblooms |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thong and got the Tram to London's West End. But before he could get to the theatre he was jumped on by a gang of filthy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And red pants. They stripped poor Dave naked except for his socks and stick a pansy in his Japs Eye. The police found him on top of |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Who was dead !!  |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Who was fed!! "
Turnips and Turkey |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Which made him very windy  |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
So they called leoblooms
Windy le mindy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And so Doris and Ethel used his extra strong wind to power their super yacht as they sailed to Norway where |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Windy le mindy
Performed oral sex on drama freee
But wait mindy said
...
Drama freee hasn't washed his dick
Ooooohhhhh...m |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Me said Ethel. My wig has fallen off again on top of |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A new day dawned and Doris, Ethel and Dave found themselves Russia where they'd come to find the ghost of Rasputin. Legend says he had a 13 inch |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Which he liked to scratch with a |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Pencil but one day it got stuck up there and had to be removed by |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Called Bob who lived in the Kremlin with |
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Is it home time yet said Ethel
I much prefer my own bed for tonight as I’m fed up all these shite places |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Yeah home so we can knit
I think not
We love adventure
We shall go to Egypt with |
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Dominic Raab. He doesn't have much on for the next two weeks. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
So we can dress them up as Tutankhamun |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And Doris can play Mummy and Ethel can make a pyramid out of |
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her Tena lady extra large incontinence pads. Then we can .. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
The Towers and the walls of ancient Russia |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Then we can eat spaghetti |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Like in Lady and the Tramp. Doris said yes, I'd love to suck like |
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"Ant Eater "
and suck the end of your |
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Lollystick while travelling on the bus home
We can always get online and decide on next adventure properly with the right people |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
We love our adventures we will go to Italy to see |
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Who owns the best restaurants
We might even bump into Gino again |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Gino no thanks hes not adventurous
We need adventure |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And so our heroes made their way to Rome where they'd arranged a surprise party for |
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Shame we will miss Gino…..you Mardy arse said Ethel |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
So Doris started to eat some breakfast.. |
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Ethel
We have stuff to do today
|
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That Colosseum is filthy and needs a good sweeping. Put your Marigolds on and let's get going. On their way there ... |
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Doris spewed up…….I ate that brekky far to quickly ….you shouldn’t have made me rush |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
So then entered
Marjorie she was Ethels rebellious cousin she.. |
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Took them on a rollercoaster which came off the rails and landed… |
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Doris spewed again and it floated everywhere.
Trying to dodge it Ethel… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Marjorie has fallen into the shark infested lake and I can't swim !! Quick Doris, strip off and jump in before she |
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Gets eaten.
So Doris dived in but as she did a great big shark opened its mouth and swallowed her in one go.
Nooooo said Ethel.
Dave jumped in… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And the darn shark gobbled him up too! So now they were both inside like Jonah in the whale, so they started a fire and grilled some fresh |
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Arm,leg and brain mixed grill.
Infact it tasted just like… |
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a KFC family bucket. Suddenly ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The shark belched and Doris and Dave shot out and landed safely on top of |
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Ethel.
Let’s go get a tea I’m so thirsty.
So off they went to… |
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Ethel.
Let’s go get a tea I’m so thirsty.
So off they went to… |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
The best tea house in India |
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But when they got there it was bloody closed due to corona
Great….now what |
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can we do while we wait for it to reopen ? They sat down on the doorstep of the tea shop. Ethel rummaged around in her handbag and found ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A magic lamp which she rubbed three times. In a puff of smoke Alladin appeared and said |
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Ethel said "I wish my lettuce wasn't limp". |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
But we can make it crispy with leoblooms help |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
He gets windy after 3 am |
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Aladdin asked if the ladies wanted to give his lamp a rub and have a wish granted. Doris replied ... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Ohhh yes let me get me wig on |
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