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Doris & Ethel's Adventures #8

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Continue the never ending story of Doris, Ethel, Dave and friends by adding a sentence of your own

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

It was a quiet Sunday and Doris and Ethel were getting ready for a lovely hot Sunday roast with their best friend

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Gino D'Acampo, who had just got back from...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A car boot sale in Swindon where he'd picked up a really cheap

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Spoon for stirring as Dave was annoyed cos he thought he was the ladies best friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

But Doris said it's ok Dave, you can still be my big spoon.

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

And Gino is only here to cook the dinner

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

and play scrabble with Ethel who replied she'd prefer to play hide the

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Pennies

Find them and I’ll treat you to one

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Of those vibrating eggs you've always wanted. No, said Doris, I'd like

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Gino to just as we asked and get on with the dinner

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

So Gino prepared a full Sunday roast which everyone enjoyed. Unfortunately he had undercooked the Brussel Sprouts and soon Doris and Ethel

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

started farting, and they all went out to the garden where they....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Decided to play naked twister and the winner's prize was

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

More sprouts

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Oh no, said Dave, not more sprouts ! If I see another sprout I think I’ll

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

have to teach Gino how to cook a decent meal, so he put his boots back on and....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Got out his favourite cook book where he found his old Nan's recipe for

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Doris and Ethel's favourite meal which was....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Cock-a-leeky soup with a large buttered baguette.

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Followed by a nice Sherry trifle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

But the sherry went to their heads and soon they were all dancing and singing along to

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

The Elaine Page Happy Hour

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Which that week featured songs from Oliver. 'Food, Glorious Food' sang Doris and everyone got hungry again and

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Ordered an Indian.

Which then upset Ethels tummy and she had to rush to…

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

check her lottery numbers and guess what, she'd got six numbers and won the jackpot !

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Doris looked at the ticket then realised Ethel got the wrong day.

Use your glasses for god sake.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

But Ethel got upset at this and called Dorie a silly old

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Cow.

That’s it spoil my joy.

I’m not talking to you now.

Go…

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Not one to hold a grudge, Doris loosened the wheels on Ethel's zimmer under the cover of darkness....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

And put slow drying super glue on the hand rail. Next day as Ethel went out to get her copy of Playgirl...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Took off down a steep hill which led to the local rugby club training ground and crashed into a scrum of very very fit rugby players who.....

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Kindly offered to help unstick her using…

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A couple of hookers and a scrum half. Ethel was so relieved she joined them all in the team bath for a good old

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

fashioned game of where's the soap. Doris was feeling a bit left out so she ...

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Sneaked in and joined them.

Thankfully the ladies made up.

Lots of…

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Rude rugby songs that made the players blush. At one point Doris grabbed a couple of soapy balls and announced

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

That she's going to Switzerland

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

As her long lost Uncle has died and left her a huge pile of

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Coloured socks and pants, but luckily Doris loved that colour so off she went to Geneva with half the rugby team as company.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Coloured socks and pants, but luckily Doris loved that colour so off she went to Geneva with half the rugby team as company."

And bahuma by her side

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Oh no, said everyone except Yasmeen, not Bahuma !!

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Oh no, said everyone except Yasmeen, not Bahuma !!"

Bahuma is the best

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Way to drive everyone silly as he loves to

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Way to drive everyone silly as he loves to"

She

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Pretend he's actually his sister who's also called Bahuma.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

On another island sir Cyril and cathy were

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Wondering what time Doris and Ethel may pass by and was gonna invite them over for a mug of soup

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Cyril and Cathy

Prefer

Olives ....

So

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

they opened a couple of jars to let them breathe and get up to room temperature before Doris, Ethel and half the rugby team arrived.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Unfortunately Doris was alergic to olives and her feet started to swell so one of the players had to rub her

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

nipples to take her mind off it, meanwhile Ethel was....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Deep in conversation with the team captain who told her she'd make a very good tight end if she would

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Only remember who invited the rugby team in the first place as they where just wanting to go meet their friends for a nice friendly …

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Game of hide the sausage and now these two old dears kept pinching their balls.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So they went on a canoe to

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

The Isle of Wight where they knew they'd find

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Fish

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

So instead of mugs of soup they enjoyed cooking fish naked on the island

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Dressed only in grass skirts and sombreros. Dave said he really felt like a

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

Pina colada so went in search of a pineapple. As he was poking about in the bushes he found ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A huge box full of the most amazing

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Baby armadillos!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

They were hard and hairy and Doris said they looked just like

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Phil and Grant Mitchell

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Phil and Grant Mitchell "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Who coincidentally were on holiday on the IOW that week and were looking for

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Cock

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Soup

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Like Leo's

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Anus

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Cream which Phil and Grant rubbed all over their bald heads to keep the sun off.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

When they stood together they looked like two big tits

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

With giant heads

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

That resembles the statues of Easter Island. Meanwhile Doris and Ethel had discovered

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Aliens

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Running a bed and breakfast in Ryde.They had come from

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms arsehole

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Which was fresh and fragrant after Yasmeen had washed it with lavender oil. However

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Which was fresh and fragrant after Yasmeen had washed it with lavender oil. However "

He darted and followed through

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


" "

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms cleaned his hole then..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Suddenly Dave rushed in with an excited grin and said

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Let’s go to the Needles.

I like pricks said Doris.

Not those kind of needles said Ethel

We can go on the…

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

commode before we set off. Don't want to be caught short on the journey do we . What shall we do with the box of baby armadillos ?

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

We could always ask Cyril and Cathy to look after them on the island while we get ready for off

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

But unfortunately the baby armadillos were actually fast growing giant armadilldos and soon the whole Island was overrun with huge, hard phalluses on four legs !!

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

So Cyril and Cathy decided to leave the island and take ethels invite offer …..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

To sail off to France but alas the giant Armadildos followed them and sunk the boat!

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So Cyril and cathy had a

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Try at swimming by grabbing onto one of the giant Armadildos and sure enough they were able to

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wank

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Themselves silly and they were so relieved they forgot all about the

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Oscars

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

and their disappointment at not being invited to attend. At last they reached the French coast. Rêné from Allo Allo was there to greet them with a pile of fluffy towels and a mouthwatering picnic of snails and frogs legs.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

That were cooked in

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Red, red,wine. This inspired everyone to have a sing a long and soon the party was rocking. Doris said she’d love to

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

taste Rêné's French stick. Ethel whispered "baguette" and Doris replied "I didn't know you were bilingual". Ethel said ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Oh she’s been bi for years that one ! Didn’t I tell you about when she tried to feel my

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Scalp with her big toe so then...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

She got really turned on by my dandruff and started to lick my

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Elephants trunk..

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then they organised a buffet a finger buffet with the finest food they could find they invited

Royalty so they would have to say

Prawns maam and...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Fish fingers. Doris and Ethel loved fish fingers and enjoyed sharing them in a sandwich when

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Their teeth were out as was easy to gum and swallow.

Next…

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

They rubbed their hands with glee when they saw leoblooms cock and what he was packing oh doris

Ethel said I could just ...

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Wrap my tongue around that juicy…

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Wrap my tongue around that juicy…"

Bellend and clean the...

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By *leasebegentleCouple  over a year ago

Longfield

Balls with my…

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Balls with my…"

Umbrella because

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

It was raining in France so everyone ran for cover in a nearby circus tent where they discovered

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

That Elephant in French is L'Elephant...

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

and that seal in French is phoque. The ringmaster approached the ladies and said ...

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

[Removed by poster at 05/08/21 19:34:41]

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

You ladies look knackered with all this activity

Maybe you should both

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

join me in my caravan. Ethel and Doris glanced at each other and Ethel said ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Phoque me my lovely! There's so much goes on in these threads, I just fancy a nice long

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bumming

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Or did I mean a bath

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Or did I mean a bath"

But sadly the ringmaster's caravan didn't have a bath, just a bucket of water and a loofah.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

So Doris and Ethel took it in turns to scrub each other's back while the Ringmaster showed them his collection of

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Stamps

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Which showed erotic scenes from circus life. In one of them the strong man could be seen enjoying himself with two tightrope walkers and the

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Elephant man

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Who was famous for his massive grey and wrinkly

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Nose

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

And when he sneezed he blew away the big top which landed in

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Egypt where a beautiful lady named jingly appeared with

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Bahuma who everyone was so pleased to see again. Bahuma said she'd been lonely any now wanted to join Doris and Ethel for a

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Bahuma who everyone was so pleased to see again. Bahuma said she'd been lonely any now wanted to join Doris and Ethel for a "

omg

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Bahuma who everyone was so pleased to see again. Bahuma said she'd been lonely any now wanted to join Doris and Ethel for a "

Wrestling match

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Covered in baby lotion. So the three women prepared to wrestle with Dave as referee.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Covered in baby lotion. So the three women prepared to wrestle with Dave as referee."

And they turned on

Dave sucking the.....

Out of him

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

But Doris and Ethel realised they where to old to be wrestling like this but much preferred to

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By *heSofaDestroyersCouple  over a year ago

HereAndThere


"But Doris and Ethel realised they where to old to be wrestling like this but much preferred to"

Use their phones to check on fab to see who was near!

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

So they could go round and ask if they where to old to be playing

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By *heSofaDestroyersCouple  over a year ago

HereAndThere


"So they could go round and ask if they where to old to be playing"

And borrow a towel to shower from all the baby lotion

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And some wetwipes....

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

The clown had plenty of towels and wetwipes they could borrow as he always had lots of make up and custard pies to wipe off his face. He put one of his fake red noses on each of the ladies nipples and squeezed them and shouted honk honk and giggled. The ringmaster approached and said ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Tonight's a sell out ! Its adults only and you two are the main attraction! Everyone wants to see you do the

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Kan kan

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Wearing only thongs and too hats. Doris was keen but Ethel said she'd rather wear a

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Sari

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

And a pair of workman's boots.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then enters benny hill with...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

That song playing in the background and followed by Dave dressed in a

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Nurse outfit

Whilst benny was slapping Dave's bald..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Arse with a nipper and Ethel and Doris ran behind dressed as

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Kipper not nipper

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hooligans shouting

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Vindaloo, Vindaloo, Cause we all like Vindaloo !

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A vindaloo with

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Naan bread and mango chutney please said Benny.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And crap soup for Ethel

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"And crap soup for Ethel "

***crab

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Who's had a dump in my crab soup and made it into crap soup said Ethel ! I did said Benny Hill because

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Who's had a dump in my crab soup and made it into crap soup said Ethel ! I did said Benny Hill because "

I am a silly sausage

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

So Doris punished him by putting his silly sausage in a bun and feeding it to the circus lions.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But the sausage was magic and the lions became

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Members of Take That and started singing their greatest hits which upset the Elephant who preferred

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Members of Take That and started singing their greatest hits which upset the Elephant who preferred "

To Vogue

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Along to a bit of Madonna. Unfortunately he was a little clumsy and trod on top of

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A rat

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Atouille which Doris had made earlier for everyone. That's pasta joke screamed Ethel and hit Doris with an enormous

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Rolling pin which just appeared by magic

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Out of Benny Hills underpants. Dave was so surprised he suddenly

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By *unloversCouple  over a year ago

rotherham

Became all hot and bothered

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So he

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Got the Elephant to spray him down with his giant hose and that made him feel

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Very ill

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So rest up said...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

The ringmaster. Unfortunately the clowns arrived and threw custard pies at everyone except Doris who got a cream pie from

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Outa space

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

But you'll have to wait for the next exciting thread to find out what happened next....

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