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Next Sentence #4
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Dave put on his brand new hiking boots and went for a walk through the woods, when he stumbled across.... |
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Who were taking their clothes off to go swimming in the |
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Atlantic having jumped on a plane and had to bail out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dave didn’t realise the woods were so close to the Atlantic, but nevertheless he kicked off his Hunters and swam out to rescue them, glad of his webbed toes. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
He met a pod of Dolphins who pointed him in the right direction, but as he swam towards Ethel and Doris he...... |
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Couldn’t believe his luck there on a rock lay a mermaid legs akimbo he then proceeded to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be extremely puzzled that a Mermaid has legs. He soon deduced that he was hallucinating and this was actually Bradley Walsh in a blond wig who |
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Shouted I'm sorry to say but the chase for you is over but wait a minute you can take the governess and |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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finally rescue poor Doris and Ethel before they drown from swallowing too much |
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Sea having staggered into a Chinese restaurant can you use chopsticks Doris no but I can |
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But I can use my knitting needles.
These come in handy for.. |
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Knitting Willie warmers I haven't much wool so I can only presume you have a small |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Appetite for such matters. |
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What a strange we have had and that Dave guy is a bit weird don’t you think….. |
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Bradley Walsh came panting into the Chinese restaurant and said "Dave, you left your brand new walking boots in the woods". |
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I’d have picked them up but got chased by a rather hairy.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Beaver with razor sharp teeth. Dave had a lifelong terror of wild beavers and ran like the wind towards |
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The nearest pub the Beaver Arms the landlady looked him up and down and said look like you have seen a |
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I’ve seen some beavers in my time but this one… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve seen some beavers in my time but this one…"
Was completely hairless and wore a top hat - his name was |
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Bob nickname of beaves and by God he has seen some action had been battered black and blue then |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
a bedraggled Doris and Ethel walked in and said to the Bartender, can we have a.... |
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Long sloe comfortable screw against the wall please. The barman replied ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 28/06/21 18:30:22] |
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U can only come in here if u had yer jabs ladies |
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Ethel said "Matt Hancock told us his prick would be acceptable anywhere" |
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Matt Hancock is a has-been Mr javed is the man now so get yr faces right or else |
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Or July the 21st is just going to be a memory you old bag |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Ethel didn't like the cut of his jib, so she... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sliced it up like a salami and shared the pieces with Doris who said it tasted just like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 28/06/21 20:48:09] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not to worry as it was a good palette cleanser after swallowing half the Atlantic |
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But I don't like fish out of the Atlantic any mermaids |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Suddenly Doris exclaimed ! “Why Ethel my dearest, what on Earth is that growing out of your cleavage?” |
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It was a Paul daniels toupee Doris asked Ethel did she like it Ethel said you are going to like it but not a lot |
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Couldn’t stand that man.
I don’t know what Debbie Mcgee saw in him certainly wasn’t his looks.
Must have been his… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Magic wand. |
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Which Ethel removed from her wizard's sleeve and waved in Doris's face |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Which lit up like Blackpool illuminations at the thought of that famous wand in |
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Blackpool then a thought came to mind while riding on the donkeys on Blackpool beach what if |
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I could enter this donkey at Entree.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m so confused again Ethel "
Yes, said Doris, me too, why is Bradley Walsh giving Dave a slow |
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Clap talking of clap how did you do at the clinic this morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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asked Ethel. “Not bad,” said Doris, “I’ve got a date next Friday with a Doctor whose specialises in...” |
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Bullshit it is a new phenomenon and he thinks I am a carrier so we will |
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Need to try it.
Although I’m not looking forward to putting bullshit up my.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Need to try it.
Although I’m not looking forward to putting bullshit up my.."
Driveway. I’m having the beds done. I’ve got blue clematis up my back wall and they could do with a |
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Trim just like my bush.
That’s just reminded me I must.. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
go and fire up the Quattro and nip down to... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr McGreggor’s garden. He asked me to mind his cabbages and carrots whilst he’s away with |
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Slow down slow down said Doris …you are doing to much at once and mashing my head again |
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They both climbed into the Quattro and drove to Mr McGregor's. As they pulled up outside they were suprised to see ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gary Lineker dresses as a traffic warden carrying a large, firm, plastic |
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Waterpisol. He aimed it the ladies and said "move or I'll shoot" |
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Lollipop lollipop he broke out in song then he admitted he had forgot the words to Englans coming home and then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tripped over his lollipop |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
and got his mobile phone out and rang... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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His taxidermist and told him to get stuffed ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His taxidermist and told him to get stuffed ! "
Crust pizza with extra olives |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And pineapple because he knew this would wind up Doris, as the only topping she liked was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With Sir Trevor McDonald, straight after the news |
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Kettle was on and everyone was seated ready |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Len opened a box of After Eights just as Ethel broke wind. The smell of minty boffs filled the air and reminded him |
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Of Christmas when we always had sprouts the farty smell of sprouts was like a spell on me when all of a sudden |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Len lit a cigar, the flame mixed with the fart gas and blew his toupee right off ! It flew across the room and landed on |
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[Removed by poster at 30/06/21 23:54:54] |
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"Len lit a cigar, the flame mixed with the fart gas and blew his toupee right off ! It flew across the room and landed on "
Doris who was quite shocked and pissed herself.
That’s it I’m off to the… |
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loo
I really need to remember who should be here and who shouldn’t as I thought Len had left ages ago
Confused.com |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is a good website if you want a price comparison for sex toys, lube and |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Toupees. |
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Len asked Doris if he could have her wet knickers to add to his collection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Shhhh”, said Doris. “Calm down Len and stop hogging the After Eights. I think the sugar rush is affecting your…” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cha,cha,cha. You've been taking Ethel sideways when you should have taken her from |
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Len said "shall I call Anton du Beke and ask him to come round ? He's better at this sort of stuff than me" |
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Antonio de beak turn coat was a dancer now a judge rather have Paul Gascoigne as a judge he would |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ask where’s Dave and his boots, I last saw them in |
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The Gascoigne Arms a very jolly pub in Newcastle but wait a minute was that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gary Lineker I just saw dressed as a lollipop man? He owes me a |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
packet of Salt'n'Vinegar crisps, but |
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the Gascoigne Arms only sells Golden Wonder and he couldn't risk being seen buying them. Instead he will have to give me ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lick of his lollipop. |
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Great samis Ethel……just as I was about to |
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Slip my tongue in to a pot of yougert |
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I was tongue tied and then my tongue started growing and when thought how can I use this to my advantage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Andy Murray. New balls please cried the umpire as Ethel and Doris began a game of mixed doubles with |
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Ronald MacDonald and Spit the dog.
It was a truly intense game when… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ronald tripped over his giant feet while going for match point and Doris rushed on court to pick up his |
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Wig that Spit the dog was humping.
It was.. |
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Yet another nightmare where everyone was sooooo confused |
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I think we all just need to sit down and take our medication said Doris.
Ethel was already sitting down looking confused.
What I don’t understand… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is why Dave is wearing a lion costume and riding Gary Lineker like a |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jockey at the Grand National. He even had his little silk cap perched on top of his |
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Head
I just want to close my eyes and hope they all leave so there’s just the two of us |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
[Removed by poster at 02/07/21 18:18:48] |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
then we can go and find out what happened to Dave... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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s boots, the last time I looked Doris had lost all self control and filled them both up with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ed pants  . She had discovered a secret stash inside |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She’d kept them as souveniers of her holiday in |
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Pontins when she got Delhi Belly from licking out discarded polystyrene Indian takeaway boxes she found near the bins at the back of the Hawaiian ballroom . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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where she first met Len Goodman who was working as a dance instructor and sous chef. His specialty was |
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Dodgy Indian cuosine as rumour has it len may say seven but he wasn't in seventh heaven when he was sitting through the eye of a needle then fate stepping when |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All of a sudden Doris exclaimed - “I’ve found a fiver in my foof!” She didn’t know it was left there by |
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Jimmy Krankie had a dodgy past and Scottish so every fiver counts and then by a strange turn of fate he |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Turned into a she, because as we all know Jimmy Krankie is a woman, dressed as a little boy. Doris grabbed a bottle of febreeze out of her shopping bag and sprayed |
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Jimmy Krankie and if by magic Tommy Cooper turns up pissed up and doing magic tricks while Paul Daniels was talking bullshit about Debbie Mcgee saying for some reason not a lot and then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They were all invited to appear on The Royal Variety Show where Doris and Ethel sat in the Royal Box and showed Prince Charles their |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
dentures, Charles giggled and said.... |
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Really Doris I may have a job for you have a word with my old lady and tell her I want to be king she has had long enough it's me and cammys turn but just as shewas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really Doris I may have a job for you have a word with my old lady and tell her I want to be king she has had long enough it's me and cammys turn but just as shewas"
About to reply, the show started. Dave, still dressed as a lion, appeared on stage riding Gary Lineker who had his lollipop out. |
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In the Royal Box, Prince Charles' nose started twitching as he smelled something unpleasant coming from ... |
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He beckoned a flunkey to come and give them a quick spray of ... |
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Deodorant then bugered off home as couldnt take any more |
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Doris and Ethel were really enjoying the show. After Dave had finished riding Gary Lineker the next act on the stage was ... |
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SallySlinky with her thigh high boots looking ever so kinky |
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She invited Camilla, Doris and Ethel to come down from the Royal Box and join her on stage where they all ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did a naked conga led by |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Len, who was only wearing Dave's boots, and.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A smile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dave ran back on stage to join in the conga and stripped out of his lion suit to reveal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dave ran back on stage to join in the conga and stripped out of his lion suit to reveal"
The body of a Greek God, the manhood of a porn star, and a tattoo of Theresa May just above his |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bellybutton piercing. Camilla and Len Foxtrot-Alpha’d off stage and Doris and Ethel went |
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Then decided to sneak to the bar while they where alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ethel ordered a Bols Blue with lemonade and a packet of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ethel ordered a Bols Blue with lemonade and a packet of"
Balloons which Dave inflated and Doris made into comic shapes such as a |
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V shape
Dave hadn’t even been invited to join them as they had hoped they where alone |
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They were both curious about each other and one thing led to another.
There was an almighty thud on the floor as Len had caught them and fell in surprise.
Dave ran over… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doris’s foot with a golf buggy. She exclaimed |
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How did you get that up the stairs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When Gary Lineker was holding onto your |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Prosthetic leg? They all jumped into the golf buggy and drove to |
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London to visit the queen.
They were greeted by… |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Camilla, who said "You ought to come to Cornwall sometime, cos it's very... |
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Way. Charles wants you to admire his crown jewels. As they walked down the long corridor suddenly ... |
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Two naked buttler’s ran from behind a curtain shouting |
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We've just seen the ghost of the Queen Mother and she was ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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P*ssed again, Ma’am. Anyone fancy a naked Garden Party said Camilla ? |
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as she slipped out of her floral dress and stood in her silken camisole and camiknickers. One of the butlers approached and said ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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will we be serving food in the garden, your Royal Highness ? We haven’t done the weekly shop yet but I can rustle up some fish paste and pork scratchings, or perhaps some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jellied Eels? That would be perfect, said Camilla. Charles then appeared with his Crown Jewels on show, wearing Dave’s boots |
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They all headed out into the grounds of the palace. Charles, crown jewels on full display, walked up to a tree and said ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 04/07/21 11:34:11] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like your wood, what do you think about mine ? And the tree replied |
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Why not slide your knob into my knothole, Charlie ? Ethel and Doris giggled nervously. Camilla said ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh gawd, the last time he did that we had to call the Fire Brigade to get him out, they had to use a |
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Charles, leave the tree alone and come and entertain Doris and Ethel, our guests. |
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They’ve come a long way for this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Naked Garden Party so the least you could do is show the ladies your collection of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gimp masks. Charles put one on and proceeded to do the ‘helicopter’ in front of Doris and Ethel, just as The Queen popped her head out of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the Guest Bedroom window in time to watch Charles take off with his helicopter action. “Not again !” said Her Majesty, “Call the Red Arrows and get them to shoot him in the..” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Royal Orchards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Royal Orchards"
Where there was a lovely selection of plums. |
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Hey Ethel are u ready for home yet I’m bored with this scenario |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and Ive no idea how we got here discussing Prince Charles plums. Yes, said Ethel, let’s go back to |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
and see if Len's teaching Dave how to throw a few shapes on the dancefloor.... |
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To be honest I couldn’t really care less anymore as nothing exciting ever happened anyway |
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Let’s go home and leave all these weirdo’s here.
I fancy a nice piece of cake and tea. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"To be honest I couldn’t really care less anymore as nothing exciting ever happened anyway"
Yeah, but you keep sending everyone to sleep, pretending it was a dream, killing off ma spider etc, just have a laugh and go with the flow. It's all about using your imagination
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Let’s go home and leave all these weirdo’s here.
I fancy a nice piece of cake and tea."
So Doris got the Jaffa Cakes out, and as Ethel went to make the tea, she remembered that she... |
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[Removed by poster at 04/07/21 22:22:36] |
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Left her wig on the line to dry.
But when she got outside it had gone.
Who was the thief? |
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Just at that moment Gary Lineker walked by the garden fence sporting a new ginger curly hair piece |
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