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Next Sentence 3
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
In the park there were 2 elderly ladies sat on the bench, one turned to the other and said...... |
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What do you reckon to that blokes muscles Ethel?? |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Doris remembered the days when she was a bit more agile and thought..... |
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If only I was 50; years younger |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
So Ethel and Doris, with a glint in their eye, decided to..... |
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As Ethel got up from the bench a few drops of urine trickled down her leg. As usual she was going commando. |
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and the Tena Lady was of no use so she decided to.... |
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mop up using her facemask which was on the bench next to her. "Oy" said Doris "that's mine. Give it back". The muscley gentleman watched in amazement as they tussled, then said .... |
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I do love a Golden Shower and... |
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[Removed by poster at 12/06/21 14:52:13] |
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Watching elderley ladies pissing themselves NOT |
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The muscley man asked the ladies if they would like to watch him perform a magic trick. |
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And a silken handkerchief. Unfortunately he had forgotten his silken handkerchief so he asked the two ladies if he could borrow the pissy facemask. Suddenly, from out of a bush appeared ... |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
..a squirrel, who had seen all this before, and just shook his head in disbelief, whereupon a.... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
A cat ran across the |
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How’s that for good luck he said |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
So Ethel and Doris started to chat up the muscley man and much to their surprise.... |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
At which point Len Goodman appeared from behind the bush, holding the squirrel, and shouted..... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
When I was younger so much younger than today I never needed |
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anyone to help me get a hard on. It just popped up. Anyone fancy ... |
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A quick waltz around the park instead of ogling this guys muscles |
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Ethel approached Len Goodman holding out her hands.
He gave her… |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
some nuts, which she proceeded to... |
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Thrown on the floor as it was a waltz she was after
Doris looked on…shaking her head |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
thinking, if only I hadn't put on these wellies, I might be able to.... |
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Have a little dance myself as well |
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Doris where are your hearing aids? |
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You really are losing the plot.
Have you taken your medication this morning? |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"You really are losing the plot.
Have you taken your medication this morning?"
Is that the next sentence or aimed at me? |
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"You really are losing the plot.
Have you taken your medication this morning?
Is that the next sentence or aimed at me?"
Next sentence. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"You really are losing the plot.
Have you taken your medication this morning?
Is that the next sentence or aimed at me?
Next sentence."
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And the confusion went on until….. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
They sat down to eat |
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Cos they just happened to have some food with them |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
The food was delicious |
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And all four of them shared before the ladies decide to head off home |
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Next there was a knock on the door.
Ethel opened it to find… |
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The stench of fish was unbearable. Ethel said .... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Wheres the airspray |
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But by mistake Doris passed her a can of aerosol red spray paint. The mermaid and the penguin got covered in it. It looked like they had been attacked by an axe wielding homicidal maniac. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Ooh noo they cried what shall we do so they |
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Invited them in for a shower and rubbed them both clean which they thoroughly enjoyed.
So much so the mermaids nipples turned… |
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Inside out
Ethel and Doris where a bit embarrassed and politely asked them to leave |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Meanwhile Len had a cunning plan, and thought.... |
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I’ll get the records out…that’ll cheer the old dears up |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
and put some Shed SEVEN on, but this was a bit too modern for Ethel & Doris who.... |
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In their 80’s preferred jazz music and abit of… |
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Nat King Cole
But they put upmwith just to please old Len |
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Ethel walzed with him until her corns started rubbing. Doris couldn't manage anything as her varicose veins were playing up. Len said ... |
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Let’s sit down and have some tea and cake.
Meanwhile the phone rang and it was… |
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Who are fans of Len Goodman wanted to pop round and get |
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Len said "I hope they get their tits out for me to sign" |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Ethel said, "I've got some lippy in ma handbag, use this"... |
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Len was getting tired as it had been a long day so who did that leave |
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The young muscley man who can do magic tricks. |
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With his selection of coloured balloons.... |
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He decided to hold auditions for a glamorous assistant |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
To which vera auditioned |
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She was very talented when it came to shaping the balloons.
She shaped one as a man and gave him a big… |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Pair of Clown's feet, Ethel burst out laughing and thought... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Why didn't I join the circus so I could |
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[Removed by poster at 18/06/21 17:25:13] |
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Better off just keeping my weirds thoughts to muself |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Better off just keeping my weirds thoughts to muself"
Muself the new pub to... |
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"Better off just keeping my weirds thoughts to muself
Muself the new pub to..."
….???. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Better off just keeping my weirds thoughts to muself
Muself the new pub to...
….???."
Go for food why the ???
?? |
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"Better off just keeping my weirds thoughts to muself
Muself the new pub to...
….???.
Go for food why the ???
??"
It didn’t make sense but no worries |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
They said then went to the beach to |
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Anyway the ladies decided to stay home and put the kettle on
Balloons wasn’t of much interest |
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Yawning away both Ethel and Doris decided to get ready for bed.
Leaving Len Goodman downstairs… |
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He decided to tackle a few of the computer games |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
But Len was perplexed, he only knew how to play... |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
At which point the guy with the muscles burst into the room and said.. |
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Did someone say Donkey Kong ? That was my nickname in the forces. At your service Sir. |
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So they snuggled up on the sofa with a can of beer and tackled a few games together |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Fed up with playing Monopoly, Doris decided to get the Twister mat out... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
And say hold me hold me |
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Even tho she had earlier got ready for bed |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Ethel went and put her sauciest negligee on and whispered to Doris.... |
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This still fits me 60 years on.
I’m sure I can get.. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
But Len was having none of it and said to the muscly guy, "Perhaps we should.... |
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[Removed by poster at 21/06/21 01:12:16] |
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Get the needle and thread out and give her a hand before she pricks herself |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
so the muscly guy said, "Leave this to me Len, I've seen The Great British Sewing Bee.... |
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So I’ll have it stitched up in no time then she can finally go to bed |
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He removed the thimble from the tip of his penis and popped it on his finger |
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Within no time at all the holes were sewn up.
Just in time… |
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Because an officer from the fashion police burst in through the door and said it was time for inspection. |
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Ignored him and went to bed as they had already had other distractions earlier and where now really tired |
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The officier of the fashion police was furious they had ignored him and radioed for reinforcements |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
But a altercation broke out and... |
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Len fell to the floor, clutching his privates, which Doris had accidently hit with her hot water bottle. The muscley man .... |
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Decided to leave as it all got to much for him |
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Followed by Len still clutching his privates with tears in his eyes.
Before he went he said to Doris and Ethel… |
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I've left you both something special in the coal shed. Go have a look |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
But be careful because it |
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Is dark and your light doesn’t work |
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Ethel and Doris quickly donned their headtorches and went outside to the coal shed. Nervously they opened the creaking door. Inside they saw ... |
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Piece of coal but wait a minute was it coal or |
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A giant testicle. But who was it attached to ? They peered into the shed for a closer look and saw ... |
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That it wasn’t a testicle after all but a gigantic spider |
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Standing right on top of a dildo.
With a grin Ethel stuck her hand in but got bit by the spider.
Doris grabbed… |
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Dildo and whacked it over the head
Must be dead now let’s get off to bed |
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so we can start playing with this dildo. Come and join us muscly man and fashion police officer. They all went upstairs to the bedroom and then ... |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Doris and Ethel decided to take control, the muscly guy was a bit nervous about this and shouted "Len!, please come and.... |
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Take control of Doris and Ethel they are not what they seem they both have gigantic truncheons |
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Strange because all the guys had left earlier on in the evening so it must have all been a dream |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
So Doris and Ethel went downstairs in their nighties, put the kettle on and chatted about how they used to... |
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Rob Banks and own brothels how they chuckled about old times and then Ethel said to doris |
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Seeing as we went to bed earlier do you think we should go back now |
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Could do are we taking out nighties off like we use to in the day strip bollock naked was the phrase |
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Not on your nelly.
I’m far too old for that now.
I feel the cold and my poor nipples… |
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Are like organ stops talking of organs Doris how's yours performing |
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Dry and wrinkled like me.
Well Ethel think we’ve had a very busy day and it’s past our bedtime.
I’m going… |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Shoplifting with..m |
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My mum 24 hour tesco limited staff might nick some brillo pads |
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Shoplifting at this time of night
Get yourself in bed Ethel
Just accept its now time to go to sleep |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
And when they finally dozed off, Doris had a very strange dream,..... |
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Those sideburns, the jacket with big shoulders, the rhinestones. It's all rock 'n' roll. She shook Ethel awake and asked her "do you wanna touch me" ? |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
Touch me touch me now all over my |
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Crinkley bottom and then she had a dream about Noel Edmonds |
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If that wasn’t scary enough.
Mr Blobby popped up too.
This dream is a nightmare I need to… |
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She reached out to the bedside table for her glass of water but instead her hand touched ... |
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Her teeth as she had forgotten she meant to put them in the bathroom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She couldn’t remember why she put them in the bathroom as she usually put them in her mouth every time she.. |
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Ate a bacon sandwich with brown sauce |
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But seeing as she was in bed and usually puts her teeth in a glass in the bathroom she was suprised she had found they where on her bedside table
Oh well…OFF to sleep |
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Then she woke and said to herself my teeth are usually in the bathroom soaking in sterident |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
but accidentally Doris had put her teeth into a glass of.... |
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Ethel's urine which she had produced ready for a test at the clinic. |
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Next day the clinic analysed the teeth they were actually from a vampire |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bat which had flown up her nightie in the early hours and given her a love bite on |
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Her inner thigh leaving a message with its teeth saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 27/06/21 04:09:42] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Her inner thigh leaving a message with its teeth saying "
In the tiniest writing, “It’s a ten from Len!” |
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Doris decided to have the writing tattooed as a permanent memory. On her way to the tattoo parlour she ... |
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Called at the little coffee bar so she could sit and people watch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From the window, when she noticed the muscly man from earlier, with the tiny wand and silken handkerchief was doing his magic trick in the square and gathering… |
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Quite an audience he waved his magic wand and hey presto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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His silken handkerchief blew in the breeze and from behind it a beautiful white dove appeared which flew up and swooped back down, landing on his… |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
toupee, and proceeded to.... |
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Peck at it
Ethel was pissing herself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But thankfully she’d stopped at Poundland to pick up some handy wipes and was on her knees mopping up the mess when… |
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She remembered she hadn’t got Doris up yet |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
so when she went to wake up Doris, she was alarmed to see Len doing..... |
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The breakfast in his pinny and nothing else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Len greeted her with a loud “SEV-ENNN!” And proceeded to waltz around the kitchen, frying pan in hand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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‘Another sausage Ether ?’ said Len with frisky abandon while doing a tricky reverse jive step, to which she smiled and said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let me see if Doris fancies sharing one. I do love a good sausage though. |
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Which reminds me…..I was suppose to be go8ng to see the tattoo bloke and completely forgot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doris loved sharing sausage so she and Ethel started nibbling at either end until Len suddenly exclaimed |
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