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Arrested and charged
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The person above has been arrested by the police.
But the big question is what are they being charged with and a brief description of the offence.
The funniest most ridiculous crime wins a curly wurly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The person above has been arrested by the police.
But the big question is what are they being charged with and a brief description of the offence.
The funniest most ridiculous crime wins a curly wurly "
Playful Sam was arrested for stealing Curly Wurlys from Tesco. He was caught brown handed with over 40 bars on his person as he walked out of the store without paying. He got out on bail and rumours it he is trying everything to give away the Curly Wurlys he previously stole. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sirius was seen on CCTV doing a truffle shuffle down the middle of Lidl
On extraction they pulled out;
An ironing board
An egg poacher
A step ladder
Gok Wan's cook book
A 5 piece pan set
A duvet cover
A two man tent
 |
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"Sirius was arrested for attempting to cross the Irish Sea in a dinghy made of empty water bottles with a labrador strapped to the bow as a motor."
Not so posh was actually Cornish royalty until losing everything in a bit coin venture that saw her lose everything but the cloths she was in and her pet pot bellied pig
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Minnie the Minx has been arrested in connection with gross indecency in a public place...the alledged incident involved prolonged lesbian sexual activities in front of a crowd of onlookers on the Mersey Ferry. Witnesses say that a voluptuous naked black woman had been tied to the stern of the ferry and Minnie was repeatedly pushing a large dildo into her anus. The woman in question,identified as "Bitch", has refused to press charges and was heard telling the police "I'll be coming here tomorrow for another session" |
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"Minnie the Minx has been arrested in connection with gross indecency in a public place...the alledged incident involved prolonged lesbian sexual activities in front of a crowd of onlookers on the Mersey Ferry. Witnesses say that a voluptuous naked black woman had been tied to the stern of the ferry and Minnie was repeatedly pushing a large dildo into her anus. The woman in question,identified as "Bitch", has refused to press charges and was heard telling the police "I'll be coming here tomorrow for another session""
 |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
RestlessNative was arrested for black mailing the PTA of his old school. His nefarious plot was a carefully conceived multistage affair. Initially he wanted the results of the 20M egg and spoon race amended so that he came first after being robbed in the initial run. The next step in his scheme was to use this addition to the list of achievements on his CV as a means of impressing the HR department when he applied for a job minding the nuclear codes. Egg and spoon race today, nuclear domination the next day. Fortunately the PTA stood firm against him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tina was arrested for speeding whilst on her flying carpet.
She failed to stop and led the police on a wild goose chase whilst deploying glitter as a flare. |
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"Wearing her Nurses outfit in Tesco and shouting "who wants the vaccine?"
Locking themselves inside portable toilets and pretending to be daleks by shouting exterminate, exterminate at passers by"
Swimming naked backstroke. Shouting Periscope up! when his cock gets hard. Then shouting Tharrrrrrrrr be Moby Dick , when he spurts cum skyward and passing his hat around for donations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Arrested due to being the 'Sauce Wars Instigator'
A fierce battle broke out due to declaring brown sauce was better on a bacon sandwich than red sauce.
The ensuring battle was messy but the ringleader of the Brown Sauce Massive was finally apprehended. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Arrest for ending the experiment before it completed.
You were supposed to wait for the full transformation process.
Igor what have you done?
Igor what has become of you?
Igor! |
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By *ozapperMan
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Arrest for ending the experiment before it completed.
You were supposed to wait for the full transformation process.
Igor what have you done?
Igor what has become of you?
Igor!"
Arrested for leaving Fab but rehabitated for deciding to come back... and having a magnificent set of legs and bum! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Arrest for ending the experiment before it completed.
You were supposed to wait for the full transformation process.
Igor what have you done?
Igor what has become of you?
Igor!
Arrested for leaving Fab but rehabitated for deciding to come back... and having a magnificent set of legs and bum! "
Arrested for being a smooth operator |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Caught running away in peep toes after robbing a stockings factory. "
Arrested, post Covid, on suspicion of cattle rustling. Released when it became apparent the cattle were a group of cosplaying fur lovers and they were merely shepherding them on their way. During the arrest, the squad car mysteriously found its way into their garage and has never been seen since  |
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"Caught running away in peep toes after robbing a stockings factory.
Arrested, post Covid, on suspicion of cattle rustling. Released when it became apparent the cattle were a group of cosplaying fur lovers and they were merely shepherding them on their way. During the arrest, the squad car mysteriously found its way into their garage and has never been seen since "
Bought up on charges fir not having a TV licence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Arrested by the time travelling police who caught up with them in the year 2731.
They tried to infiltrate the headquarters of the flying octopus overlords in order to gain insight into pleasures of the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Arrested on account of filling his front room with scatter cushions, scented candles, bowls with little stones in them and figurine ornaments that serve no purpose.
Shame on you sir.
Shame on you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Arrested on account of filling his front room with scatter cushions, scented candles, bowls with little stones in them and figurine ornaments that serve no purpose.
Shame on you sir.
Shame on you!"
I’m not even sorry.....I like my house to be comfy and smell nice |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Arrested on account of filling his front room with scatter cushions, scented candles, bowls with little stones in them and figurine ornaments that serve no purpose.
Shame on you sir.
Shame on you!
I’m not even sorry.....I like my house to be comfy and smell nice "
Sniffing someone's bum with out asking them |
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"Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting. 
Petty theft, performed prettily. Like Catwoman."
Impersonating Prince Harry. Waking up in Megan’s bed and shouting “the bloody press are at it again, orff with their heads”. |
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"Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting.
Petty theft, performed prettily. Like Catwoman.
Impersonating Prince Harry. Waking up in Megan’s bed and shouting “the bloody press are at it again, orff with their heads”."
The awful thing is that I might enjoy executing the press more than waking up next to Megan! |
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"Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting.
Petty theft, performed prettily. Like Catwoman.
Impersonating Prince Harry. Waking up in Megan’s bed and shouting “the bloody press are at it again, orff with their heads”.
The awful thing is that I might enjoy executing the press more than waking up next to Megan!"
Stood in ALDI's middle aisle wearing nothing but a mask & a cucumber up his bum, singing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty" |
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"Arrested nipping women's bottoms and running away in fast forward motion whilst honky tonk piano music played in the background
Shoplifting from asda"
D*unk in charge of a Pedalo on the local duck pond |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years."
Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.
Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold "
Arrested for trying to catch a pigeon, but your wonderful device that took half an hour to assemble backfired and caught yourself instead, making it easy for the police to arrest you |
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"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.
Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold "
Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts  |
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"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.
Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold
Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts "
Arrested for being loud and crass at the queen's tea party. How they got an invite in the first place deludes me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.
Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold
Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts
Arrested for being loud and crass at the queen's tea party. How they got an invite in the first place deludes me "
Arrested for entering the teleportation device in the hope of a beautiful trip to Hawaii, but instead materialised as Donald Trump's wig due to a malfunction with the coordinate circuits and caught by The White House security. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.
Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold
Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts
Arrested for being loud and crass at the queen's tea party. How they got an invite in the first place deludes me
Arrested for entering the teleportation device in the hope of a beautiful trip to Hawaii, but instead materialised as Donald Trump's wig due to a malfunction with the coordinate circuits and caught by The White House security."
Cindi tell them how criminal my amzingly goid dancing is lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Arrested for flying a 747 without the proper qualifications.
Completing your training on a PS2 and having a pilots licence you had coloured in from the back of a cereal box was not sufficient. |
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"Arrested for flying a 747 without the proper qualifications.
Completing your training on a PS2 and having a pilots licence you had coloured in from the back of a cereal box was not sufficient."
Arrested for trying to milk the rocking elephant at the kids playground and then climbing in a tree claiming to be a squirrel. |
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arrested and charged for sedating their animals whilst attempting to break the internationally televised ferret legging world record in Kyrgyzstan. on closer inspection the ferrets turned out to be a brace of ladies stoles made from fun-fur bought from the Aylsbury branch of Cats Protection charity which then had some discarded false teeth badly sellotaped to the ends ... the stoles not the cat protection charity branch in aylsbury.
the judge has refused bail siting a danger that the defendent may abscond |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After paying Colgate the ransom money. Niel Tennent from the Pet shop boys got some of his live show costume hats back. Following his later arrest. Colgates barrister claimed his client just couldn't resist criminal opportunities. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"After paying Colgate the ransom money. Niel Tennent from the Pet shop boys got some of his live show costume hats back. Following his later arrest. Colgates barrister claimed his client just couldn't resist criminal opportunities."
For claiming that Robin of Sherwood wasn't the best Robin Hood on telly. Sentenced to 3 hours in the stocks in Nottingham without lube |
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"Under the alias of Moany the Monk was defrocked and sentenced to fifty lashes for kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse"
Mmmn, 50 lashes sounds good 
Caught wearing inappropriate headwear in a built up area |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Caught using their fishnets trying to nab the Lock Ness Monster
Caught behind the potting shed with Alan Titchmarsh.
He was inspecting her rose apparently "
Poor Titchmarsh |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Cucumber and gherkin abuse "
For playing the recorder badly at the registry office. All marriages were off until she let him go back to work. She claimed diminished responsibility on the grounds of not wearing sufficient leopard print |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Charged with impersonating a Saville Row mannequin.
Making rude words in a restaurant with alphabetty spaghetti
Charged with impersonating a silhouette"
Being explosively hot! |
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