FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > 'Not for us' message
'Not for us' message
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've seen this suggested previously but can't find the thread so apologies for starting a new one.
A simple 'not for us' automated reply option would be brilliant - save so much time.
Can we have one please?!
Bash x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would also find this service very useful! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
On another site with this feature, people complain about getting an automated reply.  |
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"On another site with this feature, people complain about getting an automated reply. "
either reply or dont |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I am lost now Jem....me or them?  |
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"I am lost now Jem....me or them? "
ohhh would i dare tell you what to do 
them, i dont see what an automayed reply adds, either u want to reply in person, or u dont, we get an automated reply and there will just be loads of threads complaining about rude couples and single females who cant be bothered to write a personal reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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admin have already responded against the idea in a previous post on this, as they have tried it on another site of theirs.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I am lost now Jem....me or them?
ohhh would i dare tell you what to do
them, i dont see what an automayed reply adds, either u want to reply in person, or u dont, we get an automated reply and there will just be loads of threads complaining about rude couples and single females who cant be bothered to write a personal reply "
haha
But yes, I agree....anyway it is just as quick to copy and paste a No thanks if people want to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally agree that lets everyone know where they stand.
I for one am offended by the latest warning message which all but accuses the messager of being a nuisance or a stalker, and the reminder that "This person does not want contact from people of your age " well I don't want mail from Psychologically damaged people but I still get it. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I totally agree that lets everyone know where they stand.
I for one am offended by the latest warning message which all but accuses the messager of being a nuisance or a stalker, and the reminder that "This person does not want contact from people of your age " well I don't want mail from Psychologically damaged people but I still get it. "
Why are people taking it so personally? It reminds you what the person is looking for and if you have mailed them before...if you think it is accusing you of being a stalker then I think it says more about you and your thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The other one is "You have already tried to contact this person and had no reply, we take a dim view of Pests etc etc "
Ladies openly admit to receiving Hundreds of emails on here and say they delete even more, so forgive my persistance but do me a favor.
Surely it is the rudeness of not being assed to answer that should be highlighted here????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The other one is "You have already tried to contact this person and had no reply, we take a dim view of Pests etc etc "
Ladies openly admit to receiving Hundreds of emails on here and say they delete even more, so forgive my persistance but do me a favor.
Surely it is the rudeness of not being assed to answer that should be highlighted here?????"
Its not rude, its a right! Which admin agree with.
Check the FAQ's! |
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"The other one is "You have already tried to contact this person and had no reply, we take a dim view of Pests etc etc "
Ladies openly admit to receiving Hundreds of emails on here and say they delete even more, so forgive my persistance but do me a favor.
Surely it is the rudeness of not being assed to answer that should be highlighted here?????"
Admin are making a huge and insulting assumption on that one - there are many reason why someone did not reply at that time - there are loads of reason why people dont reply and things change over time |
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Added this to the other thread,but i needs to be said again i think...
i am constantly amazed at the thin skins of some people on this site 
Blocking is rude, not replying is rude ,now apparently egos are so fragile they cant cope with a perfectly civil message saying you might do better looking for ppl whose requirements you fit.
No wonder so many men get abusive when you turn them down |
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I think the point of this suggestion is to give a message recipient a 'way out'. At present the inclination SEEMS to be just 'delete'. Rather rude if the sender has gone to some trouble (i.e. NOT a 'wanna fuk' message). Clearly some (fortunate?) people get LOADS of messages but, then, what did you join for? |
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Of course it's a right to delete!!!! I cannot see, anywhere, that there is a suggestion to remove or alter this right. What IS being suggested is an alternative to an actual reply (which may damage peoples egos??- really??) and the peremptory 'delete!! |
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If the initial contact "deserves" a reply then courteous to give a reply.Just being able to click a button makes it to clinical and remote from what swinging is about...meeting like minded people for fun...social or sexual...preferably both |
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No answer even a quick no thanks IS rude..  |
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"Added this to the other thread,but i needs to be said again i think...
i am constantly amazed at the thin skins of some people on this site
Blocking is rude, not replying is rude ,now apparently egos are so fragile they cant cope with a perfectly civil message saying you might do better looking for ppl whose requirements you fit.
No wonder so many men get abusive when you turn them down "
its not about anyone having thin skins it's about admin making huge assumptions and it's not only men who get abusive |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"its not about anyone having thin skins it's about admin making huge assumptions and it's not only men who get abusive "
They're not stopping you from messaging the people, they are reminding you when your profile doesn't fit their requirements, or that you've already messaged once. Both not reading profiles and multiple messages are complained about on the site so why shouldn't the admin prevent people from doing them?
It's interesting who is complaining about these facilities. Makes you think......  |
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I messaged a couple the other day to tell them that even though they had put as their Current Status "How many times we are not looking for single men" in their preferences it said "Men" as well as Couples Females etc, I was pleasantly surprised to recieve a "F**K off and read the profile before messaging.. Some people on here are indeed plain rude and an awful lot of them also think they are wonderful too.. Ahem take a look in the mirror before Putting yourself up there.. Im no oil painting lol but I dont claim to be.. |
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"I messaged a couple the other day to tell them that even though they had put as their Current Status "How many times we are not looking for single men" in their preferences it said "Men" as well as Couples Females etc, I was pleasantly surprised to recieve a "F**K off and read the profile before messaging.. Some people on here are indeed plain rude and an awful lot of them also think they are wonderful too.. Ahem take a look in the mirror before Putting yourself up there.. Im no oil painting lol but I dont claim to be.. "
did you only look at their 'preferences'or did you ALSO read their profile first?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged a couple the other day to tell them that even though they had put as their Current Status "How many times we are not looking for single men" in their preferences it said "Men" as well as Couples Females etc, I was pleasantly surprised to recieve a "F**K off and read the profile before messaging.. Some people on here are indeed plain rude and an awful lot of them also think they are wonderful too.. Ahem take a look in the mirror before Putting yourself up there.. Im no oil painting lol but I dont claim to be.. "
A lot of people do not fill out their profile pages properly - for example have ages 18-99 still showing. How Ironic.. Just like YOU!!
If their profile wording reads "No Single Males" - it means no single males.
Quite simply really. We'll for those that Can and do read that is.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 18/01/12 18:14:56] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm amazed how much anger there is around this issue - we all joined to communicate with other swingers.
Surely it's just a matter of politeness. No-one should feel obliged to reply to someone who hasn't bothered to read profile or write politely.
Equally, to ignore someone who matches your profile and writes politely is as rude as ignoring someone who speaks to you.
If you don;t get a message back telling you that your attention is unwanted how are you supposed to know. We're not mind readers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm amazed how much anger there is around this issue - we all joined to communicate with other swingers.
Surely it's just a matter of politeness. No-one should feel obliged to reply to someone who hasn't bothered to read profile or write politely.
Equally, to ignore someone who matches your profile and writes politely is as rude as ignoring someone who speaks to you.
If you don;t get a message back telling you that your attention is unwanted how are you supposed to know. We're not mind readers."
A "no reply" is a reply.
Because if they "are" interested they will respond
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An automated reply goes to everyone who send you a message!
You want to tell everyone "No thanx"???
If you are asking for choice answers to send to those you not interested in....Pull down box? Choose a response?
Send....
just as quick typing No thanx...send |
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"I totally agree that lets everyone know where they stand.
I for one am offended by the latest warning message which all but accuses the messager of being a nuisance or a stalker, and the reminder that "This person does not want contact from people of your age " well I don't want mail from Psychologically damaged people but I still get it. "
Why are you offended?
You tried to mail someone who has stated a preference which you obviously took no notice of...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No answer even a quick no thanks IS rude.. "
so tell me what to reply to when a person just sends an 'x'?
No conversation entered into - so why should i start one? |
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"I messaged a couple the other day to tell them that even though they had put as their Current Status "How many times we are not looking for single men" in their preferences it said "Men" as well as Couples Females etc, I was pleasantly surprised to recieve a "F**K off and read the profile before messaging.. Some people on here are indeed plain rude and an awful lot of them also think they are wonderful too.. Ahem take a look in the mirror before Putting yourself up there.. Im no oil painting lol but I dont claim to be..
A lot of people do not fill out their profile pages properly - for example have ages 18-99 still showing. How Ironic.. Just like YOU!!
If their profile wording reads "No Single Males" - it means no single males.
Quite simply really. We'll for those that Can and do read that is.
"
Erm I was messaging them to tell them why they still had messages coming through from single males... Not to pester them.. |
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Absolutely right!! If you advertise you expect to get responses!! It follows (??) you shouldn't then be rude and just 'delete' them. If the message is rude or abusive there are 'tools' to deal with those idiots. If the message is well written then, as is said above, IT'S RUDE TO NOT REPLY!! |
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"Absolutely right!! If you advertise you expect to get responses!! It follows (??) you shouldn't then be rude and just 'delete' them. If the message is rude or abusive there are 'tools' to deal with those idiots. If the message is well written then, as is said above, IT'S RUDE TO NOT REPLY!!"
No, its really not. A profile is like a job advert - is it rude for a company not to reply to every application it gets, when 99% are not what they're looking for? Of course not.
Women and couples get 100s of messages a week on here. You're saying you expect them to put in hours of their life just so men don't get hurt feelings. It's not reasonable at all.
On topic, an automated reply won't work because soon men like the above will be shouting "AUTOMATED REPLY IS RUDE" |
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[Removed by poster at 26/01/12 18:02:34] |
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"If the initial contact "deserves" a reply then courteous to give a reply.Just being able to click a button makes it to clinical and remote from what swinging is about...meeting like minded people for fun...social or sexual...preferably both "
Great point guys!! It's when a reasonable written message is just deleted that the courteous bit shoots out of the window. A simple 'no thanks' button would go a SMALL way to address this? |
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"Absolutely right!! If you advertise you expect to get responses!! It follows (??) you shouldn't then be rude and just 'delete' them. If the message is rude or abusive there are 'tools' to deal with those idiots. If the message is well written then, as is said above, IT'S RUDE TO NOT REPLY!!
No, its really not. A profile is like a job advert - is it rude for a company not to reply to every application it gets, when 99% are not what they're looking for? Of course not.
Women and couples get 100s of messages a week on here. You're saying you expect them to put in hours of their life just so men don't get hurt feelings. It's not reasonable at all.
On topic, an automated reply won't work because soon men like the above will be shouting "AUTOMATED REPLY IS RUDE""
Thank you, you saved me typing my pizza leaflet analogy. |
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"I'm amazed how much anger there is around this issue - we all joined to communicate with other swingers.
Surely it's just a matter of politeness. No-one should feel obliged to reply to someone who hasn't bothered to read profile or write politely.
Equally, to ignore someone who matches your profile and writes politely is as rude as ignoring someone who speaks to you.
If you don;t get a message back telling you that your attention is unwanted how are you supposed to know. We're not mind readers.
A "no reply" is a reply.
Because if they "are" interested they will respond
But that's the whole point!! A delete is NOT a 'no reply'!! For myself, if I see my message has been 'read' but there is no further response then I delete it myself. My ego is no more fragile than anyone else's (!) but I was brought up with some basic manners: 'delete' is equivalent to saying 'feck off'!
"
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Dear oh dear oh dear!!!
Now we're into pizza analogies and analysing what a profile is - or isn't.
GET REAL. A profile IS an advertisement. This is a site where people ADVERTISE that they are available to meet, chat, cam or whatever with sex in the foreground or background.
I cannot speak for the idiots who don't read, or those who post 'wanna fuk' messages, what I DO say is help those who take care with their messages, AND help the ADVERTISERS, and provide a short answer 'button'
As a meerkat would (probably) say 'SIMPLES' |
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"Absolutely right!! If you advertise you expect to get responses!! It follows (??) you shouldn't then be rude and just 'delete' them. If the message is rude or abusive there are 'tools' to deal with those idiots. If the message is well written then, as is said above, IT'S RUDE TO NOT REPLY!!
No, its really not. A profile is like a job advert - is it rude for a company not to reply to every application it gets, when 99% are not what they're looking for? Of course not.
Women and couples get 100s of messages a week on here. You're saying you expect them to put in hours of their life just so men don't get hurt feelings. It's not reasonable at all.
On topic, an automated reply won't work because soon men like the above will be shouting "AUTOMATED REPLY IS RUDE""
Hardly likely is it!! I'm very much a proponent of an automated reply - why on earth would I then shout that it's rude? |
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"An automated reply goes to everyone who send you a message!
You want to tell everyone "No thanx"???
If you are asking for choice answers to send to those you not interested in....Pull down box? Choose a response?
Send....
just as quick typing No thanx...send "
BRILLIANT IDEA - thanks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"admin have already responded against the idea in a previous post on this, as they have tried it on another site of theirs.
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bump |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
Wouldn't make a difference if you had an automated reply or personally reply .... you still get people who don't read profiles and send messages repeatedly!!! |
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If there was a 'No thanks' button I personally wouldn't use it.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If there was a 'No thanks' button I personally wouldn't use it...."
I already use it, and it works wonders... It's currently known as the 'Delete' button
....I only resort to using it when faced with 'ignorance on approach' (not reading the effin' profile before sending a message) ....which is almost all of the time 
Never mind, it makes the shortlist easier to manage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's easy - no reply or delete means 'no thank you'
Can't be more simple to understand
If they were interested they would message back if they don't they aren't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's easy - no reply or delete means 'no thank you'
Can't be more simple to understand
If they were interested they would message back if they don't they aren't "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's easy - no reply or delete means 'no thank you'
Can't be more simple to understand
If they were interested they would message back if they don't they aren't "
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On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How about this unique idea
If ya don't hear back then it's a not for us thanks xx |
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"How about this unique idea
If ya don't hear back then it's a not for us thanks xx"
that is so blindingly obvious, it makes you wonder how it hasn't caught on. Simple, easy to understand, with no ambiguity and almost 'idiot proof'.
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"On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with.."
Maybe you should consider why you 'have to send lots of messages to get a reply' ?
And what is the quality of the messages you send when you are sending so much?
Not that I am saying you do. But a lot of messages we receive are 'copy + paste'. And that simply doesn't invite us to reply with an essay of why we don't want to meet you at the moment.
Sorry, but that's the game I'm afraid. x |
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Well I read profiles, I am Polite, Don't send too much or too little, not pushy so I stand by what I say.. |
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"On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with.."
What a charming person you appear to be.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't reply if we aren't interested, we used to but have had more than a few abusive replies to people being turned down including one stalker!!!
I don't think it's rude not to reply and I don't like the thought of a standard reply button. I think there are other more pressing needs on this site, like the utter fakes, than saving a few insecure peoples feelings!!! |
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"On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with..
What a charming person you appear to be...."
I am charming! Anyone I have met will tell you I have superb manners and very polite, are you basing the charming on the fact we have different opinions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it should be an automatic reply saying no thanks, and puts a certain amount of time they have to wait before they can message again, that would work better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about this unique idea
If ya don't hear back then it's a not for us thanks xxthat is so blindingly obvious, it makes you wonder how it hasn't caught on. Simple, easy to understand, with no ambiguity and almost 'idiot proof'.
"
lol "almost"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no reply - works for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the initial contact "deserves" a reply then courteous to give a reply.Just being able to click a button makes it to clinical and remote from what swinging is about...meeting like minded people for fun...social or sexual...preferably both
Great point guys!! It's when a reasonable written message is just deleted that the courteous bit shoots out of the window. A simple 'no thanks' button would go a SMALL way to address this?"
A no thanks button wud be a gud idea BUT... Many members get sick of messages,saying we love you profile,we have the same interests and so on.. you look at there profile and they wont meet smokers(we both smoke) we are out of there age range and they dont do soft swing,So why shud we reply back when they havnt looked at our profile and we have taken time out to read theres |
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"On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with..
What a charming person you appear to be....
I am charming! Anyone I have met will tell you I have superb manners and very polite, are you basing the charming on the fact we have different opinions?"
i think it is more your sense of male entitlement |
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No reply ... not interested
Deleted ... not interested
Its nothing to do with people being up their own asses, or being rude. I come onto fab for fun, not to spend half a night saying thanks but no thanks replys, it would be more like a job then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 27/01/12 21:53:47] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with.."
You know what.
Yesterday, my hubby was cleared of a serious medical condition that has been hanging over his head since October 2010. It worried us senseless.
We kept our spirits up and our sense of humour on form because we have a 'we only live once, so let's enjoy it while we can' attitude to life.
.....we've had a fantastic time on fab despite our underlying stress and worry. Not even our closest friends on here knew or picked up on our stresses because we decided that life is a blessing and should be enjoyed.
If it means the earth to you that you must recieve a 'polite' rejection from everyone you approach then you certainly ain't the guy we want to bring into the most 'intimate' part of our life. We love our MMF meets with guys that do not take themselves too seriously.... just like ourselves!
Mutual respect from us to them and vice versa.... they would never say you are "you are up your arses" to anyone, ever! |
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"On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with..
What a charming person you appear to be....
I am charming! Anyone I have met will tell you I have superb manners and very polite, are you basing the charming on the fact we have different opinions?
i think it is more your sense of male entitlement"
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"On the other hand, the fact couples and single females receive too many messages to reply to, take a minute to think of the amount of messages single guys have to write to get one reply.. It's all swings and roundabouts, I thought the site was about fun, seems most like to treat it as their own and also lots think they are above most single guys on here.. There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with..
What a charming person you appear to be....
I am charming! Anyone I have met will tell you I have superb manners and very polite, are you basing the charming on the fact we have different opinions?"
Someone with superb manners would never have said this...
"There are lots of plain rude people on here and also lots that love themselves a little too much, some need to take a look in the mirror and think to themselves that they are lucky they get messages to begin with.."
That is someone who has an underlying nasty side to their personality.
Don't get their own way and resort to being plain rude.... |
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[Removed by poster at 27/01/12 23:37:33] |
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As I said before i'M not rude, I just think manners have gone out the window, common courtesy goes a long way to making the world a better place.. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Think this has run it's course now.
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