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Timewasters

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By *ortynursex OP   Woman  over a year ago

sutton coldfield

With caution, is it not possible, at least, to have a tick system where people are identified if they are time wasters. Fab is a wonderful arena to meet some lovely people, but there are some who are very devious in messing genuine people around.

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By *heRainManMan  over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow

Use the report function and choose "Arranged meet, did not turn up".

I'd also suggest blocking them!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I agree...it would be nice to have a system like EBay have so that you can see negative feedback as well as positive. I know it could end up as a bitchfest but it would be nice to be arned about the serial timewasters/picture collectors.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

but supposidly thats what the verifiction system is for, to out the time wasters, but becuase there are people awilling to give fake veris it screws it all up.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree...it would be nice to have a system like EBay have so that you can see negative feedback as well as positive....."

It works on Ebay because no-one has a vested interest in leaving negative feedback, unless they were genuinely dissatisfied with the goods purchased.

However, on a swingers site, people have all kinds of reasons for wanting to spoil someone else's fun (personal grievances, being turned down, "he didn't last long enough", "she wouldn't suck my cock", jealousy, etc etc etc). The current system permits members to report profiles for 'arranged a meet and didn't turn up', and that goes as far as it needs to (Admin will ban if they do it regularly).

Anything else is our responsibility to evaluate our potential meets personally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree...it would be nice to have a system like EBay have so that you can see negative feedback as well as positive. I know it could end up as a bitchfest but it would be nice to be arned about the serial timewasters/picture collectors."

Except I have been called a timewaster because I was spending the day with my kids when I should have met a guy for sex

See now what I am getting at? Whilst its true, what's timewasting behaviour to you, may not be to others

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I know another site have a star rating on profiles but also know it can be and often is abused.

Have known people on there to send a one liner message asking for a meet, get a reply saying no, your outwith our preferences to get a torrent of abuse and their star 'rating' be lowered.

S.

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By *obletonMan  over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"With caution, is it not possible, at least, to have a tick system where people are identified if they are time wasters. Fab is a wonderful arena to meet some lovely people, but there are some who are very devious in messing genuine people around. "

the problem with that is that you guys are the worst timewasters that this site has ever had.

your pics are fake too

you are totally not genuine at all and a discredit to this site and therefore should be banned

At least that's what I say

Because I'm an angry single guy who's pissed off because you decided to ignore my messages and I now have an axe to grind

Take my point?

if not would you like me to explain it?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There are always time wasters in any walk of life and are genuine reasons why some one does not make an arranged meet but if they do not turn up for 3 arranged meets say in 6 months then they get an automatic ban as unfair to everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Use the report function and choose "Arranged meet, did not turn up".

I'd also suggest blocking them!"

But what if they set up a fake profile which they delete at the designated time of the supposed meet? If they're no longer on the site under that profile the only way would be to block their IP address. There's no easy way to do that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm at the point of only meeting at chams now

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

But what if they set up a fake profile which they delete at the designated time of the supposed meet? If they're no longer on the site under that profile the only way would be to block their IP address. There's no easy way to do that. "

Having a "timewaster tickbox" as per OP suggestion won't help much either then.

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


" I know it could end up as a bitchfest but it would be nice to be arned about the serial timewasters/picture collectors."

Based on a tick, how would you differentiate between the result of a bitchfest and an actual timewaster? Surely the existence of both possibilities dilutes the purpose?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree...it would be nice to have a system like EBay have so that you can see negative feedback as well as positive. I know it could end up as a bitchfest but it would be nice to be arned about the serial timewasters/picture collectors.

Except I have been called a timewaster because I was spending the day with my kids when I should have met a guy for sex

See now what I am getting at? Whilst its true, what's timewasting behaviour to you, may not be to others"

What and you couldn't get online and say can't meet summats come up?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I felt like a time waster on saturday and some may still i am but i arranged a meet for saturday at 11.00 p.m this was around 4.pm so quite a short time in which to arrange a meet which i think best way sometimes, now i was well excited and really up for it.

Anyway i had to go out and do somethings when a mate rang me and said he had broken down 80 miles away on the motorway and i was only person who could help i tried to get someone else to help him but couldn't and i didn't have time to get back near a comp and didn't have there number to explain i could be late, and i didn't get back till just gone 12 and i messaged them as soon as i got back and i was blocked which i thought ok but i was still up for meeting yet i was only hour late.

My point is am i a timewaster because i couldn't get near comp? yet if i had had there number it would have been easy to sort, i may have no verifications yet i have web cammed and spoke to people on the phone here but i don't ask to be verified i always thought people would just do it for you and i haven't met anyone off here yet but i have off a different site, i think there is always going to be someone un happy with someone on here nature of people wanting sex and be rejected.

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Based on that story, you will appear to the other person to have been a timewaster.

Happy to help.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


" There are always time wasters in any walk of life and are genuine reasons why some one does not make an arranged meet but if they do not turn up for 3 arranged meets say in 6 months then they get an automatic ban as unfair to everyone else "

the problem is still that what you may call timewasting and i may call timewasting may well be two different things...

and what if someone has a valid reason for cancelling last minute... say family stuff, or car breakdown, or a million other things... i may not call that timewasting but others may...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree...it would be nice to have a system like EBay have so that you can see negative feedback as well as positive. I know it could end up as a bitchfest but it would be nice to be arned about the serial timewasters/picture collectors.

Except I have been called a timewaster because I was spending the day with my kids when I should have met a guy for sex

See now what I am getting at? Whilst its true, what's timewasting behaviour to you, may not be to others

What and you couldn't get online and say can't meet summats come up?"

Clearly given your comment, I should have written the whole story. The man and I were texting each other, he asked if we could meet tomorrow (Sunday) and I said that I couldn't because I was busy with my kids, he then called me a timewaster! I was doing a car boot with my daughter and she was then coming to mine for sunday dinner with my son so there was no reason whatsover for me to come on line was there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The term timewaster should be banned , its used and abused , we all have genuine reasons for not turning up for a meet , whether its good enough or not for the person ur ment to be meeting is entirely up to them.

I for one have never had a timewaster and i have been on the site over a year and a half , i take my time to get to know someone and never rush into a meet but on the flip side if i couldnt meet if arranged i do always give prior notice. manners costs nothing , ignorance causes blocks.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm at the point of only meeting at chams now "
That works for me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm not sure a tick system or star system etc would work for the same reasons other people have said.

I do think it would be nice if IP addresses could be blocked instead of just usernames because it only takes 5 mins for them to make a new name and start wasting peoples time again.

Also I do understand that people have lives outside of swinging but if you aren't going to be able to attend a meet you should at least message the person(s) and let them know.

We only meet in clubs or at parties now to avoid being let down at the last minute.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Err well if you re read your original comment it looked as if you had not contacted the guy to advise him of your inability to meet, so anyone reading it here would think it timewasting, thanks for elaborating, eventually, christ more timewasting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In response to Grey Kitten
"Err well if you re read your original comment it looked as if you had not contacted the guy to advise him of your inability to meet, so anyone reading it here would think it timewasting, thanks for elaborating, eventually, christ more timewasting "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not sure a tick system or star system etc would work for the same reasons other people have said.

I do think it would be nice if IP addresses could be blocked instead of just usernames

"

That would only partially work, most isp's do not use static ip adresses, so rebooting ones router would have another ip address assigned

This is a tough one but I would agree that a feedback system is needed. Maybe allow positive negative and neutral ticks, and allow everyone the chance to dispute an accusation with their defence that way the whole community can judge if the accusation is out of order or warranted

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In response to Grey KittenErr well if you re read your original comment it looked as if you had not contacted the guy to advise him of your inability to meet, so anyone reading it here would think it timewasting, thanks for elaborating, eventually, christ more timewasting "

Except the whole story wasn't necessary

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"

Maybe allow positive negative and neutral ticks, and allow everyone the chance to dispute an accusation with their defence that way the whole community can judge if the accusation is out of order or warranted "

Is the Prosecution and Defence allowed to call witnesses? If so, do they get expenses for their time needed to type in their evidence?

Who decides if Legal Aid can be given to either side?

Does the "whole community" get paid time off work to serve on the Jury?

Does a falsely accused defendant get compensation from the accuser if the Jury decides the initial charge is proved to be a lie?

How many days in FAB Prison is a fair sentence for the guilty?

PS - Probably best just to stick to the no Naming and Shaming Rule!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In life people change there minds for lots of reasons .....as for a meeting for sex why would anyone really get to annoyed if someone changed there mind thats freedom of choice at work .....

Doing something disrepectfull like not telling some one you have change your mind letting them turn up for the meet, when you know your not going to be therewell that's wrong you should just come clean..........yes its annoying if this was to happen to you but does the name calling help with your disappointment .....will it make any difference to what happened no ...just chalk it up to experience walk away you have gained nothing and lost nothing really except time maybe .....but hay the chatting before the meet was fun or you would not agree to a meet ........take a chill pill and look for a new fun friend that's all you can do because all the name calling moaning will not change the fact that a human being changed there mind .....freedom of choice in action that's all it boils down to

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In response to Grey KittenErr well if you re read your original comment it looked as if you had not contacted the guy to advise him of your inability to meet, so anyone reading it here would think it timewasting, thanks for elaborating, eventually, christ more timewasting

Except the whole story wasn't necessary "

Not the whole story (I think you like these emoticons) just the bit's that are relevant, as I said re-read your original poston this thread and you come across as a timewaster, that's all I said. oh sorry here's another emoticon for you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In response to Grey KittenErr well if you re read your original comment it looked as if you had not contacted the guy to advise him of your inability to meet, so anyone reading it here would think it timewasting, thanks for elaborating, eventually, christ more timewasting

Except the whole story wasn't necessary

Not the whole story (I think you like these emoticons) just the bit's that are relevant, as I said re-read your original poston this thread and you come across as a timewaster, that's all I said. oh sorry here's another emoticon for you "

Why because I was spending the day with my kids and couldn't meet him

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By *ortynursex OP   Woman  over a year ago

sutton coldfield

I had no idea that the forum was an arena to receive personal slants.

Firstly, my profile states.....'if I do not reply I am not being rude, its just a nice no thank you'. Personally, I find it very hard to say to someone....you aren't my type. I never like to hurt anyone's feelings.

Secondly, I am deeply shocked that you do think my profile pictures are fake. Please take a look at my nude pictures which are openly on display for any site member to view. You could say that I am rather unique in having something of a 2ft 3 inch scar towards my hips. How can you possibly say my pictures are fake? I spent four days on a life support machine in intensive care acquiring that, something I would not recommend to anyone! I am more than happy to approach any of my verifiers, some of whom are also now close friends of mine, for them to vouch to you that I am indeed the person you see in those pictures.

I am only too sorry that you have felt the need to post such scathing comments targetted at me personally rather than a general topic being discussed. It does seem to come across that you certainly have an axe to grind with someone you have not even chatted to.

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By *ortynursex OP   Woman  over a year ago

sutton coldfield

Just an general update to all those who have been kind enough to post a comment. Forms can be a learning place for all of us as many different views are given on a wide variety of topics.

However, wow, having received an open accusation in here that my profile pictures are fake and I should be banned from the site i shall never come in here again to even say...hello guys. How sad is that? I have posted an open reply to the male in question who seems to have an axe to grind with me personally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Read back the comment posted about your profile and pics being fake - it was NOT directed at you personally!

The poster of that particular message was trying to shed light on how the table can easily be turned based on the view of one person.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had no idea that the forum was an arena to receive personal slants.

Firstly, my profile states.....'if I do not reply I am not being rude, its just a nice no thank you'. Personally, I find it very hard to say to someone....you aren't my type. I never like to hurt anyone's feelings.

Secondly, I am deeply shocked that you do think my profile pictures are fake. Please take a look at my nude pictures which are openly on display for any site member to view. You could say that I am rather unique in having something of a 2ft 3 inch scar towards my hips. How can you possibly say my pictures are fake? I spent four days on a life support machine in intensive care acquiring that, something I would not recommend to anyone! I am more than happy to approach any of my verifiers, some of whom are also now close friends of mine, for them to vouch to you that I am indeed the person you see in those pictures.

I am only too sorry that you have felt the need to post such scathing comments targetted at me personally rather than a general topic being discussed. It does seem to come across that you certainly have an axe to grind with someone you have not even chatted to.

"

Am confused, I've re-read all the posts and nowhere have you been accused of having fake pictures

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By *j_markCouple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Totteridge/Whetstone

Because this is going round in circles, closing

Admin x

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